Life, Liberty, and Pursuit

by Susan Kaye Quinn

  He frowned. “Is something wrong? Is Carter harassing you again?” She could see the anger welling up in him.

  “No, no, Carter is fine.”

  “Eliza, please, let me go pound on him—just one time. It’ll make me feel better. I’ll take Samson with me, for backup, if that’ll help you feel better.” He was mock pleading with her now, but she knew he would follow through in a second if she let him. Samson was their six-foot-two, muscle-bound friend that was up for a fight most any time, so bringing Samson would be like bringing the SWAT team.

  “Nicolas, stop, please! He’s apologized, I’ve told him I’m not interested in him, it’s over. Just leave it alone.” He seemed relieved, just as Addison had been, as though he thought she might go out with Carter again—only Nicolas was jealous on top of it.

  “He’s such a creep, Eliza. He just uses people and doesn’t care for you like …” Nicolas stopped, on the verge of saying something he clearly hadn’t intended to, “… like your friends do.”

  Addison had arrived back with her superfluous drink.

  “I know, Nicolas,” Eliza said. “Well, it’s late, we should get going. I’ll see you on Friday?”

  “Great! See you then!” he said, his eager smile returning. Eliza pictured that smile turning into anger, possibly fury, and her stomach tied up in a knot. Addison gave her an inquiring look on the way back to the car, and the knot kept getting tighter.

  Chapter 14

  Confessions

  The next day at camp was wonderfully distracting, the kids eager and full of energy. Eliza brought mini-Oreos to lunch to share with Lily, which earned her Best Teacher status in Lily’s adoring eyes. It almost kept her anxiety about Nicolas and the lonely ache for David at bay. Almost.

  After dropping off Addison at home, she picked up some essentials from the grocery store. Addison reluctantly agreed to let her wait until Friday to talk to Nicolas, but Eliza was wishing she had gotten it over with. It was starting to eat away at her mental health.

  She arrived home with two armloads full of groceries in plastic bags, which should hold her for the week, possibly the month. The mailbox was stuffed with the usual assortment of junk mail. She dumped the groceries on the kitchen table before retrieving the mail. She leafed through the various ads, bills, and other junk mail. And then she saw it. Her heart stuttered when she realized the handwritten envelope had a postmark from Green Bay, Wisconsin. The handwriting seemed a little feminine. She turned it over and saw it was from Tea.

  She breathed out heavily, not realizing she had been holding her breath. She wasn’t disappointed to get a letter from Tea. She just, well, had been hoping for something from her brother. She walked into the kitchen, throwing the rest of the mail on the table with the groceries, and opened Tea’s letter … and there he was. Tea had sent her David after all. He smiled uncertainly at her from the picture Tea had taken right before the dinner they had with their families. He had been so nervous, but the dinner had turned out wonderfully. Looking at his amazing blue eyes and the dark hair falling across them, she was transported back to that time. That was the first night she realized she loved him.

  Tears burned in the back of her eyes. She blinked several times before she could read Tea’s note. Tea missed her and thanked her for Addison’s number and said she forwarded Eliza’s letters on to David at boot camp. Seeing his name, knowing Tea had sent the letters, made her heart spasm again. When had Tea sent the letters? Did he receive them already? How long had he had them? Her mind spun, and she took a deep breath. If Tea had sent them, surely he would read them. Of course, he might not write back, but if he had only received them recently, he may not have had a chance. A letter from him might be coming soon! She tried to quash that thought, but it was impossible. She knew she would continue to suffer the agony of waiting.

  * * *

  David had pulled watch duty tonight, which meant he had to stay awake all night guarding their “ship.” He knew the intent was to deny some much needed sleep to recruits on a random basis, but he didn’t mind. He had smuggled out a sheet of Clayton’s bootleg paper, and had all night to pick the exact words he wanted to say. The yellowed lights of the hallway were bright enough to write by. He had to sit on the floor to write legibly, but he stayed vigilant for any sign of the RDC—he would try to catch David sleeping, and he wouldn’t be pleased to see him writing, either.

  The night before, David had hastily written his first letter to get it out for mail call. There were a hundred things he had thought of afterward. To say she was ruling his thoughts would be an understatement. The thought of holding her, kissing her—of talking to her, was driving him to distraction. He only had one fifteen-minute phone privilege each week, and he was seriously considering calling her on Friday. The small matter that he didn’t have her phone number would have to be solved, but what really held him back was that she didn’t know he was calling. She might not be home; she might be out. With someone else. The idea of that was starting to kill him. He didn’t think he would be able to stand calling her and getting her answering machine.

  He would call Tea instead. He needed to thank her for the letters and the picture, and he could ask her to send Eliza’s number. And he was going to need more paper. He couldn’t ask Clayton to use up all his favors to keep him well supplied in stationery.

  The words came easier now. He imagined them sitting in that amazing library by the beach, fingers intertwined. She would hold the crisp, white pages and smile as she read. The things he wanted to say flowed out of his pen, an inky confirmation of his love on paper. He had missed the outgoing mail tonight, but tomorrow his thoughts would be on their way to her.

  * * *

  The week passed like molasses pouring out of a dropped jar—slow, agonizing, and promising a disastrous mess. Addison started coming over in the evenings, keeping an eye on her. Eliza wondered how on earth she would manage without Addison at Princeton.

  As Friday arrived, her anxiety just continued to climb. What was she going to say to Nicolas? No matter the words she imagined, the picture of his pained face never changed.

  The last of the campers were being picked up, and she was busy straightening up the leftover lunch debris from the combination lunch area and pickup holding station. The sun had baked the tables hot to the touch. She was lost in her thoughts of Nicolas when she noticed a shadow fall over the table.

  “Hi, Eliza,” said Carter brightly.

  “Carter!” She jumped at his voice. She looked around, not seeing a small blond head, and frowned. “Where’s Lily?”

  “My mom picked her up today. I came just to see you.” He smiled as if this was a compliment.

  “Oh.” She frowned deeper. Carter was the last thing she needed to deal with.

  “I was hoping you might want to get something to eat tonight,” he said, “just as friends.”

  “I’m going out with someone tonight.” She said it coldly, hoping he would misunderstand her and think it was a date.

  His eyes darkened. “You’re dating someone?” Disbelief tinged his voice, heightening her anger. Was it so unbelievable that she might have a date?

  “Yes, I am.” And it’s not you, she wanted to add. She wasn’t sure if she was dating David, but being hopelessly in love had to qualify as something.

  “Is it that Perez guy?” he asked, his body going rigid. She realized the hatred was mutual between Nicolas and Carter, and somehow that made her want to lash out at him.

  “That’s none of your business.”

  The shocked look on his face melted into regret. “No, you’re right. It’s not.” He was mentally backtracking, trying to regroup. “Eliza, I really wanted to talk to you. Could we do that sometime? Please?” His pleading took her aback, killing her anger.

  “I don’t know, Carter.” She hesitated. “I … I’m not sure it’s a good idea.”
Her uncertainty only gave him fuel.

  “Look, we could go somewhere public, lots of people. It wouldn’t be a date, just a chance to talk, that’s all. I promise.” He was trying to charm her, she could tell, and yet there was something that made her feel sorry for him. Like he needed her help, and it felt heartless to turn him away. Still, Addison would kill her.

  “It’s not a good time right now,” she said. The disappointment on his face lasted only a moment and was replaced by a frown.

  “Is something wrong?” He seemed to actually care.

  “I’m working through some things,” she mumbled. Carter was the last person she wanted to confide in. He backed up a step, giving her room as she resumed cleaning up.

  “Okay. Well, take care, Eliza. Another time, maybe?”

  “Maybe.” She hoped that sounded more like no than yes.

  He smiled tentatively and drifted back to his car nearby. She watched him drive away with the top down. She shook her head and finished cleaning up. Whatever that was, she didn’t have the energy to think about it. She needed to take Addison home and get ready to meet her doom tonight with Nicolas. She was sure she was going to mess it up completely. Addison seemed to agree as they discussed it during the ride home.

  “What did you tell Nicolas about tonight?” Addison asked, suspicion in her voice.

  “I told him we needed to talk.”

  “Well, he thinks it’s a date.” Her tone showed how little she thought of that.

  “You’ve talked to him about it?” Eliza asked, incredulous. Did Addison already tell Nicolas about David, and she was walking into Hurricane Perez?

  “Ye-es.” She drew out the word, like it was obvious. Eliza couldn’t believe it.

  “Addison! I told you I would tell him.” Things were going downhill fast, with a crash looming ahead.

  “I didn’t tell him about David!” she said. “I asked him what you were doing on Friday. He’s got all kinds of notions about a big romantic date.” She was disapproving again.

  They had stopped at Addison’s house, and Eliza leaned forward to bang her forehead on the steering wheel a couple of times. “I should have known he would think it was a date. What am I going to do? He’s going to be so hurt, Addy. He’ll probably never speak to me again.”

  Addison was quiet. Eliza peeked sideways at her, and she looked distressed.

  “He might not speak to you for a while,” she finally said, “but it won’t be forever.”

  “Can I call you afterwards? I mean, after he abandons me at the restaurant and I need a ride home because I’m a miserable wreck?” She sounded pathetic, even in her own ears. Addison leaned over and gave her a hug.

  “You had better call me,” she said. “And it’s not going to be that bad. You just need to be honest, tell him once and for all that you just want to be friends. It’s not your fault that he wants more than that.” Addison gave her a half-hearted smile that didn’t help at all.

  The air-conditioning had died in her car, but opening the windows only served to heat-blast her hair and make her hot and sweaty. Her misery, though, had nothing to do with the heat. She reassured herself a little by gently touching the tiny lifesaver around her neck. If David were here, it would be easier to explain to Nicolas. And she would have David’s arms afterward to comfort her.

  She sighed as she pulled up to her house. The mailbox was stuffed with mail, but she was sure none of it was for her. She was right.

  She showered quickly and changed clothes three times. She was almost as nervous as if this really was a date. Not wanting to wear anything that resembled “date” clothes, she settled on khaki shorts and a white top.

  It reminded her of the lunch at the Portofino with David, and how unsure she was about how he felt. Even now, she didn’t know what he would make of her letters, especially that second one. But it seemed wrong to let the words go unsaid, even if he didn’t feel the same way. It seemed that Nicolas should know how she felt, too, even if he didn’t feel the same way. Like Addy said, it was the honest thing to do. She took a deep breath, and the fear dropped a notch.

  The doorbell rang, pulling her out of her thoughts. She ran downstairs and threw the door open. Rays from the late day sun backlit his freshly pressed blue button down shirt and chinos. His smile was so filled with love that it warmed her heart, when it should be terrifying her. He was her friend, one of her very best friends. She hugged him, hoping it wouldn’t be the last time. He seemed shocked, but quickly recovered and hugged her back. She pulled away, not letting the hug last too long. His arms lingered around her waist.

  “What was that for?” He didn’t seem unhappy about it.

  She smiled in a way that she hoped was loving, but not leading. “For being such a great friend.”

  He gave her a quizzical look, like that didn’t explain anything, which of course it didn’t. She stepped back, out of his arms’ reach—she needed to clear something up right away. Maybe they wouldn’t even make it to dinner. “Nicolas, we need to talk. But first, you know this isn’t a date, right?”

  His face fell a tiny bit, but he covered it quickly. She had the sense that he had a lot of practice doing that, which made a stab into her heart. She knew this was going to hurt him.

  “Well, that’s good, because I forgot to bring you flowers, or whatever you’re supposed to do on a date.” He grinned a faux sheepish look. Nicolas had been on plenty of dates—there were plenty of girls enamored with his dark handsome looks and easy smile. He just needed to give them a chance. Her confidence was growing by the minute.

  “So, where are we going for dinner?” She took his arm and closed the door behind her. His shiny new Focus was parked next to her ancient Camry, a study in contrasts. She was thankful he had air-conditioning in his car as they walked through the waves of afternoon heat rising from the sidewalk.

  “The Bet the Ranch restaurant.” He grinned. “I’ve wanted to take you there for a long time … Bet.” She couldn’t help laughing at his sad joke. He knew she hated that name.

  They chatted aimlessly during the ride to the restaurant. She wanted to wait for the right moment to start this … confession? That’s what it felt like. She hoped the right time would surface somewhere in the evening.

  The Bet the Ranch restaurant was nice. Too nice. It was upscale and quiet—soft country music played in the background as the host seated them at a small table for two. Although the sun still burned outside, the window shades were drawn tight, leaving it cool and dark inside. It was a perfect first date choice, and a terrible place for what she was about to do.

  After they were seated and had ordered their gourmet burgers, there was a lull in the conversation. She sensed the tension rising.

  “So, what do we need to talk about?” Nicolas looked steadily at her as if steeling himself. She doubted he had any idea what she was about to say. She toyed with the lifesaver dangling from her neck.

  “I, um.” She took a deep breath, closing her eyes briefly, then returned his steady gaze. “I met someone on the cruise.”

  He looked perplexed. “Someone on the cruise?” he echoed. “Okay.” This clearly was not what he was expecting.

  She tried again. “I met someone on the cruise, and I’ve fallen in love with him.” She waited for the wincing, the anger, but he only looked more confused.

  “You met someone on the cruise and fell in love? Eliza, that doesn’t make any sense.” Well, he was right about that. None of it made any sense at all. Still, it was true all the same.

  “His name is David.” She wasn’t sure how much detail to go into. None, seemed the right answer. Nicolas shook his head, trying to decipher what she was telling him.

  “Wait, the cruise lasted four days, right?” He squinted at her. She nodded.

  “And you fell in love with some guy … on the boat … in four day
s.” It was starting to sink in, and she could see the anger building up inside him.

  “Yes.” She said it very quietly. Nicolas was speechless for a long, agonizing minute.

  “Who … who is this guy?” Confusion struggled with anger on his face.

  “His name is David,” she repeated. She slid the lifesaver back and forth on the chain, feeling the room close in on her.

  “But … I mean, where is he? Does he work on the boat?”

  “No. He and his family were vacationing on the cruise, like us. We met during the cruise, and then he went back home to Wisconsin. He’s in Chicago now.” She didn’t want to explain everything. She was fairly certain Nicolas didn’t want to know.

  “So, he doesn’t even live here?” Incredulity won out. She shook her head. They had been unconsciously leaning in towards each other during their tense exchange. He pushed himself away from the table, away from her, a look of distaste on his face.

  “You sure can pick ’em, Eliza.” The anger was back. She cringed. “First Carter, who couldn’t treat you right for one night, and now this guy, who you knew for all of four days and now is gone.” She didn’t expect him to try to hurt her back. She bit her lip and held back the tears, staying quiet.

  “You can’t even …” He shook his head. “You can’t even see what is right in front of you.” Now the anger was warring with pain on his face. She ached inside for him. She had to tell him right now, or she wasn’t going to make it through this.

  “Nicolas, I see you. I see my best friend, who’s always been my best friend, and I love you for it. I love the way you care for me, and look out for me, and I don’t want to hurt you. Because you’re my best friend, you have a right to know I’m in love with David. It’s not fair to keep it from you.”

  “Fair?” he practically shouted, opting for furious. “You fall in love in four days with some guy you don’t even know, and you’re talking about fair?”

  Oh, no. She had really blown it now. She sat there, struck dumb by his anger.