Life, Liberty, and Pursuit

by Susan Kaye Quinn

  Nicolas struggled to speak. “You’re … here.” He glanced at her, leaving the rest of his thoughts unsaid. She could only imagine what was churning through his mind.

  “I’m just stopping by for a visit on my way to California,” said David. His voice was unnaturally calm, and he seemed to choose his words carefully. “I think I owe you my thanks. I appreciate you saving Eliza from that guy Carter.” Nicolas’s eyes went a little wider. David produced a tight smile. “Eliza’s lucky to have such a good friend to look out for her.”

  This left Nicolas speechless for a moment. Then he narrowed his eyes, as if he suspected David of something, but couldn’t figure out what it was. “Eliza knows she can always count on me.”

  “Good,” David said. “I hope you don’t mind keeping an eye on her while you’re at Princeton.” His hand holding hers seemed to tense up. The tension of the whole conversation just shot through the roof for her as Nicolas quirked an eyebrow at her. She hoped fervently that the panicked look on her face would convince Nicolas to not say anything about Princeton. If he wanted to hurt her now, drive a wedge between her and David, he could do it—and she couldn’t stop him. The fleeting emotions that crossed Nicolas’s face told her that he knew this. David’s hand tightened around hers, and she knew he could feel her trembling.

  Nicolas took a deep breath before answering. “I’ll always look out for Eliza, if I can,” he said to David. Then he turned to her. “Eliza? Can we talk?” He tilted his head to the far side of the restaurant.

  She nodded in a jerky motion as her whole body seemed to shake. “I’ll be right back,” she said to David. He nodded, but the look on his face frightened her. He was holding something back, but just barely. As she turned to follow Nicolas, who was already striding to the door, David pulled her back and kissed her on the cheek. “I love you, Eliza,” he whispered in a pained voice that made her want to cry. She didn’t know what he was thinking, but she was cursing herself for not telling him about Princeton.

  She joined Nicolas at the restaurant door. David, Tea, Clayton, and Addison were all watching them. David had taken his seat, and Clayton’s hand was lying on David’s arm.

  “How long is he in town?” Nicolas’s hushed voice ripped into her. His back was turned to their observers.

  “He’s just visiting, Nicolas,” she said. “And thanks for not telling him about Princeton. I … I haven’t told him yet.”

  “Obviously.” But the anger seemed to go out of him. “So, are you still thinking about going?” There was more hope in that question than she wanted.

  “I don’t know yet. I’m still trying to sort it out. I talked to my mom, and she thought maybe I could get a deferral for a year.” She folded her arms across her chest to keep them from quaking. Talking to Nicolas when she knew David was watching them was driving her anxiety even higher. Her eyes flicked back to the table. Clayton seemed to be holding David back with the force of his stare and some whispered words.

  “A deferral.” Nicolas mulled this. “Eliza, I meant what I said. I’ll always be there for you, if you need me.” She knew he meant it and was probably a better friend than she deserved.

  “Thanks, Nicolas. I’ll … I’ll let you know when I make my decision, okay? I promise.”

  He seemed satisfied with this and willing to let her go. She hurried back to the table as Nicolas watched her. He turned and left the restaurant without another look. When she sat down, David grasped her hand. “Is everything okay?” he asked quietly, glancing at Nicolas’s retreating back outside the restaurant window.

  “Yeah,” she said, but her voice shook. Clayton watched David carefully, but didn’t seem as alarmed. Addison tried to hide her shocked face by staring at the menu, even though they had already ordered. Tea was the only one who seemed relaxed.

  Eliza was desperate for something to relieve the tension at the table. “I’m sorry, I had no idea he would be here.” At her words, David’s face softened. He released her hand and touched her face. She didn’t understand the relief on his face, but it calmed her panicky heart.

  “It’s not your fault, Eliza.” He stroked her cheek, and she gulped. As soon as possible, she needed to be honest with him about Princeton. He deserved nothing less.

  * * *

  David’s heart was still pounding with rage, anxiety, and flat out fear, as their order for lunch came up. He and Clayton retrieved the food, and simply getting up and moving around helped ease the tension. When they returned to the table, Tea was talking a mile a minute about nothing in particular. Addison had come out from the menu and was helping to keep the conversation going. Eliza looked a little more relaxed.

  His carefully constructed plan to repair Nicolas and Eliza’s friendship started out well enough when Nicolas fortuitously showed up, but then unraveled when Nicolas wanted to talk privately with her. David couldn’t hear them, partly because the blood was pounding in his ears, but he could tell Nicolas was angry, and she was defensive, and David could barely stay in his seat. “You need to trust her,” Clayton had whispered. If he couldn’t trust her when he was in the same room, how could he trust her two thousand miles away? But it was one thing to know and another thing to watch. The torrent of emotions running through him wound down as they ate.

  After lunch, Tea announced that she and Addison had some important shopping to do and that they required Clayton’s assistance. They agreed to split up, dropping the three of them at Addison’s house, while he and Eliza returned to hers. The inside of Eliza’s house felt like a refrigerator, with the air conditioner running at maximum.

  They quickly found their way to the couch, and he briefly thought of grabbing a blanket to take off the chill. But he decided he would rather they create their own warmth. He had one more thing he wanted to ask Eliza, and it took on more urgency given the turn of events at lunch.

  * * *

  Eliza was intent on talking to David about Princeton, but he seemed to have other ideas. She curled up on the couch next to him, tucking her legs underneath her, ready to launch into a serious discussion of their future, when he piped up.

  “I was going to ask you to show me your room.” He grinned wickedly. “But the couch will do.” He started kissing her, and she figured a little kissing would pave the way for talking of a more serious nature. But his kisses quickly became distracting as he brushed his lips along her jaw and trailed a line down her neck and behind her ear, causing her to shiver. She grabbed his shoulders, torn between pushing him away and giving as good as she was getting.

  She had better stop things now, or Tea and Clayton would be back before they came up for air. “David?” she said, but it came out as a gasp as his kisses drew a hot line across her collarbone.

  “Mmm.” It was more of a comment on what they were doing, than an answer to her query. He kissed right over his ring around her neck, and kept going.

  “David,” she said more clearly, “I need to talk to you.” Her voice quavered as he kissed the hollow of her throat.

  He pulled away, and his eyes were dancing. He knew exactly the effect he was having on her and seemed very pleased with himself. “Good. I have something I need to talk to you about, too.” He grinned. She was certain they weren’t the same things.

  “You go first,” she said, as she tried to get her heart rate under control. He sat up, leaning his head against his hand and staring seductively into her eyes. At least it felt seductive, as her heart continued to pound. A small half-grin played on his lips.

  “I think you should come visit me in California,” he said. She opened her mouth and closed it. Maybe they were talking about the same thing. He took her gaping as hesitation.

  “I know it’s a long drive, and completely the opposite direction of Princeton, but you could come with Addison.” He spoke quickly. “I don’t know when you’re leaving for school, but it would only be for a few day
s.” She continued to be speechless, wondering how to get from this to what she wanted to say.

  “But—” was all she managed before he was kissing her and smiling at the same time.

  “Of course, I could try to talk you into it.” He peppered more kisses down her jawbone, scrambling her thoughts again.

  “David, stop.” She tried to gently push him away, so she could form a complete sentence.

  “Not until you say yes.” He outrageously brushed his lips against her skin as he spoke.

  “Yes!” She grabbed him by the shirt and hauled his lips up to hers to stop him, and because she was desperate for a proper kiss. His kiss turned fierce, and it left her breathless. When he pulled back, he was tender, nuzzling her cheek.

  “It was going to be very hard for me to leave, if I didn’t know I would see you again soon,” he whispered.

  “I was already planning on coming,” she said, pulling away. “I’m driving out with Addison. We should be there by Friday night.”

  “This Friday?” His delight made her smile.

  “Yes.”

  He shook his head. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

  “Well, that’s what I need to talk to you about.” She took a deep breath. “I’m thinking about not going to Princeton this fall.”

  He didn’t say anything, just frowned. She added, “I’m coming out to tour Monterey Bay, to see if I want to go there.” It finally sunk in, and he let out a small sigh as if he was in pain. She didn’t know what reaction she was hoping for, but a gasp of pain was definitely not it. “Unless you don’t want me to.” A weird trembling started inside her.

  “Want you to?” he cried. He pulled her to him, burying his face in her hair. “Don’t ever, ever, think that I don’t want you with me.” His voice was choked with emotion. He pulled back, holding her cheek in one hand. “Eliza, I want you with me all the time. I want to wake up in the morning and have you there. I want to have all the time in the world to spend with you.” As he rushed through, saying words that made her heart pound, he looked more and more sad. “But,” he said, “you can’t give up Princeton just to come be with me. If … if …” His face twisted with emotion. “If you come to Monterey Bay, and then decide I’m not the right guy for you,” he cringed, “then you’ll have given up your dream, and I’ll just be the guy who ruined your life. I can’t be that, Eliza.” He looked so hurt she couldn’t help but reach out and hold him close.

  “You could never ruin my life,” she whispered. “Unless you decide you don’t want me.”

  He pulled back to stare into her eyes. “That’s never going to happen.”

  She nodded. She wanted to believe it with everything she had. He turned sad again. “You can’t give up Princeton to follow me around the world. It’s your dream …”

  “Sometimes dreams change,” she said softly, earning a confused look from him. “I’m thinking I want to be a teacher, and I don’t have to go to Princeton to do that. Monterey Bay has a teaching program …” she trailed off at his look of surprise.

  “You want to be a teacher?” he asked.

  “Well, maybe. I could teach English and torture generations to come with Jane Eyre. There’s some real appeal, there.” She smiled and he laughed a little.

  “It’s still a lot to give up,” he said. “And even if you came to Monterey Bay, which I would love,” he paused to stroke her cheek, “I’m only going to be at DLI for two years. Then I’m off to the Navy for at least a couple of years, possibly my whole career.” His face had grown exasperated. “Who knows where I’ll be deployed! You can’t give up your whole life just to follow me around the world!”

  She leaned in and kissed him tenderly. “Leaving aside that following you around the world sounds absolutely wonderful to me,” she grinned, “I’m not giving up my life. I may not even have to give up Princeton.” He held still, at full attention. “I might be able to get a deferral, put it off for a year. That way …” She hesitated, the emotion clogging up her throat. “That way we would have a year, to be together, to decide things.”

  His look of shock quickly turned into hope and a hunger that she had not seen before.

  “Do you think you could get it, the deferral?”

  “I don’t know. My mom thinks so. I’m going to call them tomorrow and see. It’s not long until school starts.”

  “Eliza,” he said, excitement shining in his eyes. “If you could come, be with me, even for a year …”

  She stopped him, fingers pressed to his lips. “It’s what I want, too.”

  He took her hand in his and stared at their fingers entwined. “If you can’t get the deferral,” he said quietly, still not looking at her, “then what are you going to do?”

  She wanted to say that she would come anyway, because it was what she really wanted. Once she had the possibility of coming out there, she didn’t know if she could not come.

  “I’m not sure,” she said. “That’s why I’m coming out to visit the school. It might be just what I’m looking for, anyway.” He finally looked up at her, blue eyes filled with hope.

  “You know that no matter where you are, I’m still going to love you, right?”

  “I know,” she said, and in that moment, she did. “And you know that no matter where I go, I’m still going to be madly in love with you. So don’t even think about finding another girlfriend.”

  He laughed quietly and kissed her. His lips brushed her cheek as he spoke. “Eliza, there’s no one else for me but you. There never will be.”

  She curled up to him, tucking her head underneath his chin and feeling the steady thrum of his breathing. There wasn’t much left to say. Eventually, he brought them a blanket and wrapped them in it, the warmth of their bodies mingling and creating a safe haven. Together. Somehow, together, they would find a way to make it work.

  Chapter 20

  Bridge to California

  The two of them, cuddled up on the couch, was one of those timeless moments. It reminded David of when they stood on the top deck of the ship, her head tucked under his chin, feeling as if time had stopped just for them. Of course, it hadn’t. Although Tea took most of the afternoon to shop, she and Clayton did eventually return.

  They were both reluctant to disentangle from each others’ arms, but Tea insisted on her “Eliza time,” and he had to let her go. Eliza threw him a regretful smile on her way out the door.

  Clayton retrieved two Cokes from the kitchen and handed David one as he sat alone on the couch. The smile on Clayton’s face seemed permanently etched there ever since he had met Tea. Perched on the arm of an over-stuffed chair, he toasted David with his Coke. “Let’s hear it for deferrals!”

  “Addison told you?”

  He nodded, looking carefully at David. “It’s the answer to all your problems, right?”

  “It would be great,” he said, “but what if she doesn’t get it? What if she has to choose—between coming to Monterey Bay and going to Princeton?”

  “You mean, what if she has to choose between being with you or going with that Nicolas character?” Clayton asked, one eyebrow raised.

  “No,” he said. He resented the implication that she might choose Nicolas. “Eliza loves me.” He didn’t think she would choose him outright today. But if she went thousands of miles away, with only Nicolas to comfort her in his absence …

  “That’s right, she does.” Clayton seemed satisfied with his answer. “You need to trust her to make the right choice,” he said, taking a sip of his Coke. David nodded, finding no comfort in that. If she chose to go to Princeton, his life would still be a misery.

  “Besides,” Clayton said with the hint of smile, “if you two are anything like Tea and me, you’ll be getting married soon, anyway.”

  “What?” he yelped, jumping up from the couch and nearly spilling hi
s Coke. Clayton burst out laughing, doubling over and barely keeping his drink upright.

  “David,” he choked out between snorts, “the look on your face … Tea is going to kill me.” He paused to take a breath to calm his hysterics. David glared at him, not amused. “I only meant that you and Eliza are meant to be together, just like Tea and me,” Clayton said, still smiling.

  “Not if I kill you first.” He continued to glare at Clayton, only half joking.

  “Oh, c’mon, you know it’s true.” Clayton shook his head, which David was tempted to smack for good measure. “You know, I don’t know how you managed, only seeing Eliza for four days on the cruise and then being separated all this time. No wonder you were so messed up when you got to boot camp. If I had to be separated from Tea now, after just getting to know her …” He shook his head again. “Look, I know how hard it would be if she ended up going to Princeton. You’ll make it work somehow.”

  “But we really haven’t had a chance yet. We need some time together.” David paused and then added, quietly, “I think I could talk her into coming to Monterey Bay, even if she doesn’t get the deferral.”

  “Do you really want to do that?” Clayton asked. “Isn’t it better if you let her decide?” Before he could answer, Clayton added, “She knows you want her to come to Monterey Bay, right?”

  “She knows.”

  “Then you have to leave it up to her.”

  “It’s going to kill me if she doesn’t come, Clayton.”

  “It will be hard, but it won’t kill you. I hear you write a mean letter.” Clayton grinned, and David frowned, wondering if he had been reading over his shoulder at boot camp. “The girls are impressed, at least.” Clayton shrugged, and David realized that Eliza must have shared some of his letters with Addison—and Tea? He pondered that.