My Life in the End

by Adriana Alexa

  I chose a chair in the corner and sat down.

  The form is filled in automatically so that, for my life, I could not repeat what information he requested. Some paintings were hanging on the wall cream color, to try to control the anxiety that seemed to leave my body through shaky on my leg, I began to watch them. Not that it was helping me a lot, but at least it distracted me.

  Family meals and fruits in a silver pot, religious settings. There was a precise theme that waiting room ... there were only tables. A lot of them. To choose.

  Maybe some team doctor had done a study and proved that frames serve to end the anxiety tremor in lawyers leg. I ran my finger the form header where the clinic's name was stamped as the address. I remembered the card. The small piece of paper that the doctor gave me and that would change my life. Back, I expected.

  Talk to the father. Talk. The feeling you have now can be fleeting. But if not ...

  I had disobeyed his instruction. I had not spoken to anyone.

  Just in front of me was a picture of an old man. He wore a long beard and smoking a pipe. He did not seem particularly happy with anything in particular. In fact, it seemed quite bored. As if nothing new ever happened there.

  Except that happens.

  Every day ... how many lives are changed there? In that room?

  I stared at the ink bearded man oil and felt his eyes on me. It was as if he was scolding me. saying"I'm here alone, smoking my pipe, and you come to bother me with that shakiness in the legs, knocking her stiletto heels on the floor just because it made a decision not sure you want. Go home and settle, or stay and stop to beat this damn foot. "

  I hugged my body and took a deep breath.

  If in a few years, Gregory found out, what would happen? Does he admire the courage I had to protect our relationship? The fragile stability of our lives?

  Just the thought made me laugh of despair.

  No way

  He would want to kill me.

  Near me one picture hanging showed a woman wearing a shoe on a little girl. She was so young, sitting in full pillow bed, his feet barely beat the ground. I looked around with an annoyed expression as her mother tucked her the pink sneakers on the feet.

  You are angry because you stuck in a frame of "mother and daughter" in an abortion clinic, is not it? Of all the pictures of this place, you should be what bothers people. That or you hate these shoes.

  And if I had a girl? He will shove pink sneakers on his feet to force or let her take her own decisions?

  Shove strength. You can only have things your way, it was not always like this?

  I would be a horrible mother.

  That shit this picture ...

  I wanted to stand up and shout for the mother to leave the girl alone. If she does not want to wear the right shoes is it not? The decision is hers too.

  Gregory ... The decision is his, too, is not it?

  And it is not only a decision on a bloody shoe. It is something much more important. And I even give you the right to one vote.

  Talk to him could jeopardize our relationship ... could destroy everything we had: but I needed to talk to him yet. The decision was not mine alone.

  - Laura Thoen!

  The nurse was standing in front of double doors leading to the offices. Had a card in hand, his gaze rested in the lounge waiting for someone to get up.

  But no one raised.

  - Laura Thoen? - He repeated.

  I was frozen in the chair. Listening to my heart pounding. My hands sought my belly in a new and insane instinct.

  Soon have a heart there too.

  Oh shit ...

  I could not do that.

  The nurse called my name again, before giving up and leaving. Soon, another person was invited to come and I sat there. Waiting the second turn minutes.

  I stood slowly and quietly and looked for the exit. I still felt dizzy. If my life continued to be this rollercoaster for much longer, I'd end up asking to come down and throw up.

  The car stopped abruptly in front of me. The dark window down and I saw the aggressive face of Eleanor.

  But what the hell ....

  - In between. - He ordered.

  - No, thank you. - I could mutter.

  - Oh, Laura! - She exclaimed exhausted and opened the door, pushing my way and slipping on the bench to give me space - Between once.

  I was still stunned. And curious! To know what she might be doing there.

  - My car is in the parking lot, Eleanor, I need a ride.

  - I'm not offering a ride. I just want to talk. I know where you were, girl. I followed you here. Among logo. We need to talk.

  My heart stopped beating somewhere between "I know where you were," and "I followed you here."

  She would misrepresent the story and tell Gregory of an unreal way, would not you?

  I got into the car. I was feeling exhausted after the long battle fought against myself in the past 48 hours. I had no more strength. You want to talk, Eleanor? So talk. And thank because for the first time in my life, I have no strength to fight back.

  - You did the right thing.

  I blinked several times, unsure of what he had heard correctly.

  - It was just as well and it is great to see that you have that kind of courage in you, girl! Finally, I saw a trace of you who made me understand why Gregory was attracted.

  - Eleanor, I'm not sure if I understand.

  - I know you were pregnant.

  Was?

  - I keep an eye always on Gregory, as I'm sure you already know. And because of its proximity to it, I keep an eye on you too.

  The witch was investigating my life.

  Great.

  - I was wondering what to do and how to talk to you when I saw that marked a time at the clinic and, honey, I'm very proud. You did the right thing.

  I was angry. A sudden, insane rage that suddenly appeared and took care of everything.

  I not want her to meddle in my life, but she did it because I allowed it! I allowed her to intrude when he considered what she would think, what to say, how to treat my son.

  Almost made a decision without talking to Greg and partly - much - because of it.

  Enough.

  She was still praising me.

  - I did not do this. You got it wrong, Eleanor. I'm still pregnant.

  She shut up and watched me with venom in his eyes.

  - No? And may I ask why?

  - No, you can not.

  She slammed her fist against the upholstered sofa.

  - Contact Laura! Do not test me.

  - It's none of your business. My life is none of your business. Gregory's life is none of your business. And I think it's time for someone to tell you this in a clear way. Because you are so self-centered that it seems to have difficulty hearing the voices of others.

  - You always knew that Gregory and you ...

  - I always knew anything, his old arrogant! - I was bored and felt he could start foaming at the mouth at any second - I and Gregory have a normal, healthy relationship. The only part of our lives is misrepresented you and your poison.

  - You're not good enough. - He spoke as if it were the most obvious fact in the world - has never been and you know it.

  - I'm not good enough? And why should not he? And why is not he who is not good enough for me?

  - Gregory is perfect.

  - I assure you it is not.

  - Shut up. Shut up. - He rubbed his forehead as if he could magically turn back time and make Greg never met me - Shut up right now.

  - If not want to talk, why invite me in? - Feigned innocence. He had his hand on the doorknob when she said.

  - I pay you!

  I laughed.

  - Which is?

  - I pay you! Five million to get you back to that clinic right now and fulfill its commitment.

  I knew my mouth was open, but despite all the insanities of it I really could not believe what I was hearing.

  - I knew you were a self-c
entered bitch, Eleanor. But I did not think it was crazy.

  - And you do not understand why I want you out of my grandson.

  - You are crazy! Completely crazy!

  - Change offenses will not lead us anywhere. You made a proposal, Laura, that's all. Or you say yes or say no. - There was a desperation in his voice contained.

  I stared into his cold eyes still gaped. The only acceptable reaction would give him a slap. Very strong. done well. In the middle of snob guy.

  But that does not improve my situation.

  In nothing.

  - If Gregory know who said this, he ...

  - He will not believe. - Expired angry - because I'll deny it. And you know how it goes, do not you?

  I wanted to scream that she was wrong. He would believe me because I would tie it at the dinner table and shout in his face to make him understand. If only the hell of women were not family.

  And I ... I was just inconvenient coworker with a nice body.

  How long would it last?

  If I had already lasted too long. Especially after I said I was pregnant when he even thought about marriage.

  - You are crazy.

  - Yes, yes, dear, you've said it. But the question is: I am the crazy that will give you five million?

  I had never been so insulted in my life.

  Never.

  I wanted to cry of anger. But not going to give you that taste.

  - I leave you to choose the currency. Euro is well priced. Five million, Laura. You enter that clinic there, undoes this ... error in your belly ... I paid the procedure. And a five star spa for you to spend a week recovering. And then you disappear. Some five million richer. What do you say?

  - If you think I'm going to say "yes", someone should take you pro hospice, Eleanor.

  - Yeah ... but I do not see you coming down from my car, is not it?

  - Do not you see me down the car because I have to tell you something before you leave: You are the sickest human being, disgusting and pathetic world for even contemplate making such an offer to the girlfriend of his grandson. - I hit hands on his knees indignantly - I love Gregory. It is an emotion that you do not know, I know, so I will not even try to explain. And this child is his as well. The choice of what will be done with this child is mine and his. Be birth, name, clothing, school ... whatever that is. You do not vote at all.

  She looked ready to bite me.

  - Ended up?

  - Not yet. - I decided. I had already started, was not it? It was refreshing let it all hang out - You're a whore, bad-food and dumb. Puta why it is so called who is sold for cash. Mal-food because it is the only explanation for his bitterness in life. And stupid for not knowing my value and my integrity. Now I'm done. Good day.

  I got off the car, slamming the door behind me.

  Chapter 3

  - Am I disturbing?

  I heard his voice so hung up the phone. My grandmother stood in the double door of my office at Baxter Inc. with a semblance of those waiting authorization.

  Great. It looks like she finally understood.

  - Between, Eleanor.

  - I do not want to bother if you are busy.

  - I'm not busy. - I got up and indicated the next arm the entire wall window on the side in my room - Sit. What happened?

  - I wanted to talk to you. I've been thinking about what you said to me at the party and ... And maybe I agree with some things you said. - Sniffed and I laughed.

  - Eleanor Baxter! You mean I'm right and you're wrong? - I teased.

  - Do not force, kid. - He tried to sound cold, but I saw the smile in his eyes - Is that ... - she put her hands on his knees and watched me with that maternal affection that she reserved just for me - is difficult. It is very hard for me.

  - I get it...

  - No, you do not understand! - He raised an indicator careful - I can be an archaic and conservative elderly. - Shrugged - Living in different times and trying to keep life as it was years ago. It may be absurd and ridiculous, but ... But it's like I am, Gregory. And that family is everything to me. You're everything to me.

  - Eleanor, if ever I get married, my wife will be a Baxter, too. - I remembered with affection. She had exaggerated the day before and I was rude on purpose. But if she had come here to apologize, I hear your excuses. And to apologize.

  - It will be? - Expired, tired - I do not see Laura accepting the name Baxter! She would accept the Holt. Or do you accept the Thoen.

  It was impossible not to laugh out loud and taste. I had not thought about it yet, but it was really hard to imagine my stubborn Dom accepting the name of a man by the mere fact of being married. If I did question this change was going to be a war.

  - And if you have children, Gregory? - His eyes flashed nervously - Go all be Thoen-Holt? Where is the name of our family? I worry!

  - Harass Sun will not help, Eleanor. It will only make her more convinced that path. So why do not you help me? - I tried to put me at his side, diplomatically. Maybe that was a compromise acceptable to both: eventually the offenses and Baxter lineage would continue.

  - It's all right. - He muttered resignedly and I did not believe my ears.

  - Pardon? - I exclaimed nonbeliever - you agreed? Will be friendly with Dom?

  - I would not say friendly, Gregory. - His rancor was comical and I knelt beside her and kissed her cheek. She giggled adorably and I kissed her again.

  - Oh, boy! - She ran her hands through my hair and I smiled - What I do for you?

  - I know it's complicated.

  - Oh, you do not know! - He grimaced and were laughing.

  - She's a good person. But it is stubborn. Just like you. - Pushed his nose with his finger - would be good friends if they tried.

  - I think so. - He lifted one shoulder - I think I saw a side of her that had not seen yet. - I was speaking more to himself than to me - I think she has a ... value. A force. It is admirable when it is not annoying. - She confessed.

  - Hmm ... were drinking coffee together and forgot to invite me? - Played.

  - No, no! - He spoke quickly. He took a deep breath as if choosing his words - was his speech. You're a good man, Gregory. An amazing man. And if it saw something that worth fighting for, then it should be a great value.

  - You have no idea.

  - I do not do. - Stood up as if he had already said what I came to say - But here's the thing: I do not. It is you who have to like it, not me. You were right. It's ok? - He opened his arms, loving - It was not what I wanted to hear? Was right. You are a man. But I am your grandmother and have to understand that it's hard not to see that naughty boy who destroyed my pearl necklace to use as marbles.

  - It was a great loss, huh? - I laugh.

  - The only boy in the country with a game of marbles made of pearls. - I laughed - I think that would be appropriate. - I held my arms - I'm proud of you. Who you are and everything you have won. I do not say this often because I always think it would be unnecessary, but there is! I said now!

  - Thank you, Eleanor.

  - Let's dinner next weekend? I, you and Laura?

  - I think I have a hearing problem. - I joked and stuck the indicator in the ear, pretending to unclog it.

  - Oh, do not make me repeat myself! - I pulled my hand - Let's dinner, the three of us. I would say to go just me and her, but I think it would be too much. It is best to start slowly.

  - You're going to apologize?

  - If you convince her to do the same. - He opened his eyes to me.

  I weighed my options and I wondered how it would be nice to have this conversation with Don.

  - Er ... Okay, it's best to start slowly.

  She laughed and hugged me before he left.

  I sat there watching the scenery. Don was acting strangely since the party and now Eleanor arrived saying he saw something in my girlfriend. They had talked. Oh, they did. No doubt. Something had happened there and whatever it is that disturbed Dom, let Eleanor admired. One way or another, something to
ld me that the two had taken a step forward.

  I remembered our discussion on the night of the party. It had been good to omit the fight I had with Eleanor. Dom would understand it as an absolute separation when all I wanted was to make my grandmother understand. For now, it was better than she thought I did not understand and was not at his side, even if it was not true. It was better that she stay with a little angry with me than with further Eleanor of anger. And, since the two got along, I really did not bother me that were a little upset with me.

  ***********

  It is possible that it was psychological: the mere notion that I was pregnant and would continue pregnant gave me an insane hunger. Combining this stress after the conversation or a nice little sociopath with the grandmother, I wanted to eat until he died. I looked at the clock while preparing a monstrous sandwich. Since I would not need to rest, it was better to return to work as soon as I finished and let life go on.

  I was serving as one of the biggest glasses of juice I have ever drank in my life when a noise in the room scared me. I took a knife on the counter and put his face out of the kitchen door.

  - Boe! - I complained, putting the knife on the table.

  - Wow! Calm, Miss sun! - He raised his arms. I think he still remembered our first meeting when I played on the floor.

  - You have to stop in here at home as well!

  - Sorry, but I needed to talk to Miss! An urgent matter and I wanted to be discreet ...

  - Okay, okay.

  I took a deep breath and realized that my hands were covering my stomach. One last detail. An involuntary reflex. It was my body saying he had something there that was mine and the man I love and that if one wanted to mess with her, I would fight. I would do whatever it took to keep her safe.

  I sat the table and indicated another chair for him.

  - Want something to drink?

  - No, Miss. Thank you. I just need to talk.

  - Well then sit and talk. - I looked at the clock - but do not delay, because I have to get back to work.

  - It's about Baxter lady.

  - Oh, Boe. No! - I decided - I do not want to talk about this woman.

  - I imagine, Miss. But it takes. I learned that will keep the baby. - He smiled, paternal and I squeezed one of her hands.