by Nicola Haken
“I know, right?” Snickers agreed.
“And he hardly charges you any rent?” Emily asked in a hushed whisper when Jared left us alone in the living room.
“Jared’s dad’s a strange one,” Snickers went on. “He says Jared needs to work his way through life, earn stuff… so he charges our rent based on what Jaz earns from the pub, yet he also throws cash in his face left, right and centre. Alistair thinks he’s making a man out of Jared by not handing him life on a platter, but Jared knows damn well he’s a spoiled little rich kid. I’ve given up trying to get my head around it now. If what’s on offer is best for these two,” she rubbed her growing belly, “then I’ll take it.”
“I know we’ve only just got here, but do you mind if Dex and I go fetch my car and his bike soon?”
“Em…”
“I’m assuming the battery will be flat so I’ll need time to get that sorted before I take it home.”
“It’s…”
“Is it still parked outside the old flat?”
“For fuck’s sake!” Snickers grunted, shaking her head with a playful smile. “If you’d let me get a word in edgeways, then you would know by now that it’s in our garage.”
“What, here?”
“Yes here. I turned the engine over every couple of days while you were gone, so the battery is fine. I know we weren’t speaking, but you’re still my family, ho. I wouldn’t have just left your shit behind.”
“Thanks,” Emily replied coyly as rosy heat flared in her cheeks. “I really appreciate it.”
“Don’t suppose you gave Jenny the same courtesy?”
“Jenny?”
“My bike.”
“Um… shit. No. Didn’t even think about that. But even if I had I probably wouldn’t have done anything about it. I was pissed off with you – you took my best friend away.”
Inhaling a sharp laugh, I nodded. If there’s one thing you’ve gotta love about Rachel Mason, it’s her brutal honesty.
“Well we should take your car back to my old apartment - get my stuff,” I suggested to Emily.
“If it’s still there,” Jared piped up, waltzing back into the room. I don’t know where he went. Maybe the bathroom or something. “Your landlord won’t have just waited around for you to get back. You took off without telling him where you were going or if you were coming back, and I’m assuming you haven’t been paying your rent. Mate, I’m pretty sure he’ll have tossed all your stuff.”
“Fuck,” I groaned. He was right. Of course he was! How did I not think of that before? “My fucking bike better still be there. Do you know if the spare key is still hung up in Mick’s back room?”
“Yeah it is. I’ll come with you guys and we’ll drop by the pub on the way to your old place.”
“Ah, I dunno, man. Don’t wanna aggravate the miserable old fucker. Best wait till opening time.”
“You haven’t told him?” Snickers interrupted.
“Told me what?” I asked curiously, flipping my gaze between them both.
“Mick’s family. He’s Jared’s uncle.”
“What? No fucking way! You kept that one quiet. But thinking about it, it always did amaze me how you managed to keep your job there. You were never on time, you were afraid to lift a crate in case you broke a fuckin’ nail, and you spent more time flirting with customers than serving them. It explains so much.”
“Fuck off. You make me out to be such a moron.” Everyone in the room, bar Jared, chomped down on our bottom lips to try and stop a laugh escaping. “You’re all a bunch of twats,” he complained, dropping onto the armchair.
“Aww,” Snickers cooed as she wheeled over to him and pinched one of his cheeks between her thumb and finger. “Whassa madda, Jaz? Are da nasty boys and girls making fun of you?”
“I’d stop right there, saffy, or I might not let you have your wicked way with me later.”
“Um, yeah…” I interrupted before he could go any further. “Jared’s right. Let’s stop right there.” Ugh. The image of Jared having his wicked way burned the back of my eyelids. “Shall we go? Get it out the way,” I suggested. Truth is I was fucking ecstatic about seeing my bike again. I’d missed her.
“Sure,” Emily agreed. “Do you have my keys, Rach?”
“Yeah. They’re in a drawer in the kitchen.”
“Are you coming too?” Emily asked.
“Nah. I think I’m gonna take a nap. This being pregnant lark is harder than it looks.”
“Well call me if you need anything,” Jared interjected, standing up and making his way over to Snickers before bending down and kissing her so fiercely I thought he was gonna fucking swallow her. “Anything at all,” he added. As an outsider looking in, it seems love has turned Jared into a complete pussy, but then I know damn well I am exactly the same with Em, which is the only thing that stopped me saying as much.
“Right, quit the mushy shit. Let’s get going.”
**********
“Jenny!” I cried, almost falling to my knees at the sight of her. Her tyres were slashed and her paintwork scratched… and when I got even closer I noticed her mirrors were smashed too. “What have they done to you, baby?”
“It’s just a bike, mate.”
“Whoa, Jared,” I heard Emily warn behind me. “I’d stop talking. Like now.”
“She’s not just a FUCKING bike!” I yelled at him. He shrank back a step, raising his palms in the air. “FUCKERS!” I bellowed into the air while kicking the brick wall of my old apartment. It’s a good job I didn’t walk up on whoever did this while they were in the process of destroying my poor Jenny, or I would’ve beat them till they shit out their intestines.
“We can get the tires changed, Dex,” Emily soothed, patting my back. “You can sort everything else out at the garage when we get home.”
“It’s not the point. Look at her!” Emily forced her face into a frown and shrugged her shoulders a little, and Jared just stared at me like I was a freakin’ imbecile. Whatever. They clearly didn’t give a shit. “Dude, you got your wallet on you?”
“Um… yeah,” Jared answered with a suspicious eyebrow.
“Good. We need to get a tow truck out here and arrange some new tires. I’ve no cash on me, but I’ll settle up with you later.”
“What, now?”
“Yes, now!” Jesus, why didn’t they understand? “Em, you head back to Jared’s place – spend some time with Snickers. We’ll be home later.”
“Are you sure? I don’t mind waiting with you, or taking you to a garage.”
“Nah, we’ll ride in the pick up truck. You go and enjoy some time with your best friend before we leave tomorrow.”
“Okay,” she agreed with a reluctant sigh. “Call me if there’re any problems and I’ll come and pick you guys up.”
“Sure, doll,” I said. Then I leaned forward, cupped her face in both of my hands and brushed my lips against hers. “Drive safe.”
**********
“Oh my God, what happened?” Emily asked in a panic when Jared and I walked into the house some hours later. Her worried eyes zoned in on Jared’s green face.
“Someone’s never been on the back of a bike before, that’s all,” I said teasingly, still laughing at the way Jared squealed like a freakin’ girl when I brought Jenny to life.
“You wuss!” Snickers ridiculed. “If I’d wanted a relationship with a girl I would’ve come out of the closet. Where’d you leave your balls?”
“Not funny, saffy. He drives like a moron!”
“Hey, douchebag! I am a very good driver thank you very much. I barely pushed thirty all the way here because you were clinging onto me so tight. Seriously, I was convinced if I went any faster I would’ve felt your cock up my ass, you were so damn close.”
“You can all make fun of me but that bike is scary as shit. If anything was to crash into us the only thing separating me from it is this!” he whined, picking up the corners of his jacket and holding it wide open like some kind of dera
nged flasher.
“You got the tires sorted then?” Emily asked, her voice still a little uneven from giggling so hard as she walked over to me and curled her arms around my body.
“Yeah,” I whispered into her hair, pressing my hips into her so she could feel what she does to my body. Man, just the smell of her gives me a raging erection. “Her body’s gonna take a bit of work though. I’ve called Chris – filled him in. He’s up for the challenge.”
“How is he?” she asked dismally, looking up at me with such sad eyes. I wanted to punch myself in my stupid fucking head for mentioning Chris. She’d smiled so much since we got here and I’d just slapped her across the face with reality.
“He’s fine, doll. Told me to tell you if you dare worry about him while you’re down here he’ll slit Pork Pie’s throat.”
“He wouldn’t dare,” she growled possessively. Pork Pie is a fluffy white dog whose brown paws join around his waist, sticking together with Velcro. Em’s had him for as long as she can remember, but he’s been living with Chris the last few years after she left him behind when she was fourteen and going through an ‘I’m too old for teddy bears’ phase. I find it kind of adorable that Chris never tossed the old guy into the trash.
An hour or so later, we were sitting spread out across the living room furniture. I was sprawled across the armchair with Emily nestled on my knee, and Jared was lying backwards on the sofa - legs apart and Snickers settled between them with her head on his stomach.
“Look at us,” Snickers piped up. “Things have changed so much in just a few months. It feels like I should be off throwing up somewhere, Jared should be passed out on the floor and you two should be cleaning up after us sorry-arsed winos.”
“Yeah,” Emily replied, smiling at the memory.
“But now I can’t drink because of the babies, he can’t drink because of his medication, Dex can’t drink because of his tendency to get addicted to shit, and you… well you’re just you, ho.”
“Umm, thanks? I think.”
“But that doesn’t mean we can’t stuff our faces with food right?” Snickers enthused, grabbing onto Jared’s arm to help herself up into a sitting position. “Pizza?”
“Where are you fitting all this food, Rach?” Emily asked seeming genuinely bewildered. “You do nothing but eat lately!”
“Hey, I’m eating for three now. I’ll worry about the flab when they’re out.”
“Well count me in,” I chimed in. “I’m starving.”
“Me too,” Jared added.
“Yeah. Me three,” Emily agreed.
“Babe, you got your wallet on you?” Snickers asked, looking up at Jared and fluttering her eyelashes.
“You know I swear you people only want me for my money,” he grumbled, shaking his head.
“You should count yourself lucky we want you for anything at all.”
Breaking into fits of laughter, which as usual was at Jared’s expense, we all settled in for our last night hanging out as friends for a while. I took a moment to absorb the scene in front of me. I’ll miss these guys when we head back home.
Chapter Ten
Emily
It’s been two weeks since we got back from London. I’m missing Rachel like crazy even though we talk several times a day on the phone and text even more. During those two weeks however, I made a decision. I need to see my parents. Jeff was right – I need closure. I need to know if and why they blame me for Livvie’s accident, and if we have any hope of a ‘normal’ parent/child relationship that isn’t filled with tension and bitchy comments.
The fact my nightmares resurfaced last week only confirmed that fact. Jeff thinks this is the way forward – to get the nightmares to stop, so today after breakfast that’s exactly where I’m heading. Forward. To my parents’ house.
“You ready, doll?” Dexter asked tentatively, sneaking up behind me and burying his face in the crook of my neck as I washed the last of the breakfast dishes.
“As I’ll ever be,” I muttered quietly. “You really don’t have to come with me. I’ll be fi-”
“I’m coming, Emily,” he argued, cutting me off. “You’re not facing it alone.”
“I’m really nervous.”
“You shouldn’t be. I won’t let anyone treat you like shit. I’ll be with you, doll. By your side the entire time.”
And just like that, the raging inferno of nerves in my belly settled into barely flickering embers.
“Ok, I’ll just finished these dishes and then we’ll go. I called my dad while you were upstairs to let him know we were coming. He sounded pleased I guess. But then the issues are really between me and my mum, I just wish he’d stand up for me once in a while.”
“Well even if he doesn’t, I will.”
With a heartfelt smile I finished up the dishes and psyched myself up for what I suspected was going to be a tough morning.
**********
“Hey, princess,” my dad greeted with a wide smile when he opened the front door. I knocked even though I have a key – that’s just the kind of relationship we have. He stepped aside and I walked past him into the house. Dexter followed behind and then my mum showed up at the end of the hallway.
“Mr Barton,” Dexter said with a curt nod, proffering his hand to shake. Then he did the same to my mum when she drew nearer. “Mrs Barton,” he offered her the same greeting. “I’m Dexter.”
“Nice to meet you, Dexter,” my dad replied. My mum gave him a lopsided smile as if he were something she’d found on the bottom of her shoe. “Come through to the living room.”
We followed my dad into the living room and sat side by side on the cream leather sofa. My mum and dad took the sofa opposite to ours and it was only then I realised my mum hadn’t even spoken to me yet.
“We’re glad you came, princess. We still need to talk about why you left university.”
Here we go…
“I’m not here to talk about that, dad.”
“Of course you’re not,” my mum chipped in, making my eyes widen. “You never could stick anything out.”
I felt Dexter stiffen beside me and I clamped my hand down on his knee, silently telling him not to retaliate… yet.
“Why do you hate me, Mum?” I asked, unable to hold it in another second. The knowledge has been eating away at me my entire life and I came here today to end it. I didn’t see the point in procrastinating.
“Don’t be absurd, Emily!” my dad answered. See how ‘she’ didn’t answer? “Why would you say such a thing?”
“Because it’s true. Isn’t that right, Mum?”
“Of course not,” she answered robotically after a few seconds hesitation that proved my point entirely.
“But you do blame me for Olivia’s death, don’t you?”
“Emily, where is all this coming from? Of course no one blames you. You were just a child!” my dad interrupted.
“Don’t you?” I repeated, my tone demanding as I ignored my dad completely.
“You should have been watching her,” my mum finally admitted. “I left her with you for a few minutes and you let her drown. You killed her.”
“Jocelyn!” my dad admonished. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Don’t worry, Dad, it’s not the first time she’s told me how she feels.”
“I don’t… I don’t understand.”
“Like I said, she hates me. Always has.”
“That’s ridiculous! Jocelyn, tell her that’s ridiculous!”
My mum’s silence said it all. The air turned dense and I struggled to breathe it in. I risked a glance at my dad’s face and pain glistened in his eyes.
“Jocelyn?” he pressed hesitantly.
“I don’t know what you want me to say, Derek.”
“What are you talking about? Tell her you don’t blame her. Tell her you love her. She’s our daughter goddammit!”
“She’s a disappointment. Just like her brother.”
My heart twitched in my chest and
from the look on my dad’s face, so did his.
“Don’t talk about him like that,” I snapped. “You have no idea what an amazing man he’s turned into.”
“Amazing? Remind me what he does for a living again? Oh yes, he’s a backstreet mechanic.”
“J-Jocelyn…” my dad stuttered. “I don’t know where all this is coming from. I don’t understand.” I actually felt a little sorry for my dad. It would seem he really was oblivious to the animosity my mum held against me. “How long has this been going on between you two?”
“My whole life,” I answered when it became obvious my mum wasn’t going to.
“Why didn’t you ever say anything?” he asked me, his face paling with shock.
“I thought you knew,” I confessed. “You side with her over everything.”
“I don’t…” he trailed off, obviously rethinking his answer. “Yes,” he breathed. “I suppose I do. But I thought it was just typical mother and daughter stuff. I wanted a quiet life so I kept out of it. I had no idea things were this bad between you and to be honest… I’m struggling to come to terms with all this.”
“A quiet life?” my mum pressed. “So you left it down to me to deal with those children so you could have a QUIET life?”
‘Deal with’.
‘Those’ children.
She was holding back no punches today.
“Princess, I’m so sorry. Maybe you should leave. Your mother and I need to talk.”
“It’s fine, Dad. I’m used to it really.” I guess I was hoping for some kind of resolve – maybe for her to drop to her knees and wail how much she really loves me when she found out how I was feeling. I should’ve known better. “But I won’t have her disrespecting Chris. Not now.”
“What do you mean ‘not now’?” my dad asked, straightening his back in his seat. Damn.
“N-nothing. It’s just… he’s a wonderful person. You’d know that if you hadn’t disowned him,” I spat.
“Princess,” he sighed regretfully. This wasn’t the first time my dad had looked guilty at the mention of Chris’ name. I suppose saying anything would’ve gone against the ‘quiet’ life he craved so desperately. “Is your brother okay?”
