On the Mountain

by Peggy Ann Craig

  “You’re not to blame, Anna,” he told her.

  She looked up and her eyes reflected the torture she felt inside. “I killed an innocent child to spare my own life.”

  “You did what you needed in order to survive.” He held her gaze with steady conviction. “None of us can determine how we would react under times of such horrific circumstances. That’s when our innate instinct kicks in and shows us the way.”

  “My instinct is that of a murderer?” She gasped and tried to pull out of his embrace.

  He held on tightly and refused to let her go. “Your instinct knew you were meant to go on living. You’ve escaped death three times, Anna. You aren’t meant to die just yet. There was a purpose for your life to have been spared. You aren’t done here on earth.”

  Her brows wavered, obviously not entirely believing him, but somewhere deep inside her brown eyes he saw the first flicker of hope. Reaching up, he stroked the side of her head and said, “You were meant to come into my life.”

  A spark flashed across her face, then just as swiftly was doused and replaced with anguish. Wade sighed and pulled her back into his arms. He knew it was going be a long time before she could ever forgive herself.

  “Wade’s right,” Prescott said. “What happened up on that mountain has brought nothing but tragedy. It stops here. No more suffering. This conversation does not go beyond the three of us. We shall bury it along with the victims of that village.”

  She turned in Wade’s arms to look over at his brother and he saw Prescott give her an understanding and determined look. “You have been the greatest victim of all. You survived. You will have to live for the rest of your life with the memory of what happened that day. No form of punishment could torture you more.”

  Tears fell once more, but silently this time and Wade began to feel that at last she was finding some form of conciliation with what she had done. Even if momentarily. Because, as Prescott stated, she would remember the horrific events on that mountain for the remainder of her days.

  * * *

  Anna stood on the back porch and looked up toward Mount Louis. She had woken that morning to a bright and sunny day. Inside she was slowly beginning to heal. Since the events of what happened in the village, she was finally able to look upon the mountain with a sense of tranquility and peace in her heart. With her memory fully restored, the tragedy of that day would haunt Anna for the rest of her life, but she was learning to live with the guilt and eternal sorrow she knew would never leave.

  She heard movement behind her and saw Wade approach. He came and leaned against the rail next to her, his arm slightly brushing her own. Gazing up at the mountain, he said, “It’s most beautiful first thing in the morning.”

  Anna nodded slowly and knew there was one more thing she had to do. “Wade, I want to go to the village.”

  He frowned and she knew he didn’t like the idea, but nodded his head in what she was certain was an effort to understand. “I’ll go with you.”

  She offered a small smile then turned back to the mountain. “I’d like that.”

  “I’ll go and saddle two horses.”

  “Wade.” She stopped him. “I want to take Lucy.”

  He paused, and again she saw the look of disapproval cross his face, but once again nodded, then headed for the stables. He had been far too agreeable since the incident at the river over a week ago. She knew he was racked with his own tormented emotions, but wasn’t willing to share them with Anna. Admittedly, she was slightly glad. There was a small fear that he may harbor feelings of disappointment. After all, he had discovered the woman he married turned out to be a murderer. A child murderer.

  When she saw him approach with Lucy and another horse from the stables, she felt a heavy sadness in her heart. “I’m sorry about Sty.”

  He only gave her a grateful smile than mounted his horse. She followed suit on Lucy, and side by side they headed toward the river and the trail that led up the mountainside. When the path became too narrow for two horses, Wade took the lead until finally they reached the clearing that stood between the woods and the village. Anna drew Lucy to a halt.

  Wade noticed and turned his horse around to look back at Anna. “You don’t have to do this.”

  Her eyes remained in the area that marked the edge of the village, then swung her leg over Lucy and dismounted. Beneath their feet was a field of wildflowers. She bent down and gathered a handful, then stood back up and walked the remaining small distance.

  Wade dismounted his horse and led him by the reins as he reached Anna’s side and walked next to her. On the outside, she looked calm and composed. However, inside Anna felt a wreck. Her nerves were unsteady and she wished that Wade would take her into his arms and protect her from what she was about to see.

  They entered the forest’s edge where Anna had stood and watched the massacre of her village. She held her breath as she looked toward the small cluster of sod houses that made up most of the village. Fully expecting to see the scorched and ghostly remains of her former home, she instead looked upon a lush green forest taking over the abandoned little village. Two small squirrels chased each other through the grass and up through the tall trees. The sound of birds echoed down from the towering spruces which were now fully covered with new leaves. No traces of that awful day reflected in the deserted village. Nearly a year had gone by and with the arrival of spring, fresh growth had bloomed. The warm weather of early summer had nourished the dawn of new life.

  She walked slowly through the village while Wade tied their horses securely to a tree. Her footsteps led her to a house that sat on the farthest end of the row of sod houses. Stopping outside the door, she swallowed a hard lump that suddenly formed in her throat. It had been a long time since she set foot in the house that had been home to her for twenty-four years. Hesitantly, she pulled the handle and opened the door.

  It was dark inside and took a few seconds for her eyes to adjust. Other than new growth seeping in through the neglected walls, it looked remarkably the same. The main room had a fireplace at one side of the room and a small table in the center. It was where her family had shared all their meals. She laid the flowers she picked in the center of the table.

  She heard Wade come into the house behind her and she turned to look at him. He looked concerned and she found herself smiling. “All eight of us sat at this table.”

  Wade frowned. “Eight?”

  Nodding, she walked around the table and allowed her hand to run across its surface. “Mother and Father, Edmund, my sisters and myself.”

  “I didn’t realize you had sisters.”

  She nodded. “There were five of us girls. I was the oldest. Edmund was the only boy. Until . . .”

  He frowned harder and she knew he was watching her closely. “The baby.”

  On the mantle was a small bowl which Anna retrieved and held in her hands. “His name was Nathan.”

  She stroked the bowl and then put it back gently. Keeping her back to him she felt the onslaught of shame and guilt mixed into one. “He was not my father’s.”

  There was only silence behind her.

  “My mother shared her bed with another.” Anna frowned hard and tried not to allow her disgrace for her parent mar all her memories. “She never spoke of it, but we knew. Father knew.”

  Wade moved and Anna heard him approach. Then she felt his hands tenderly rest on her shoulders. “Anna, your mother did nothing wrong other than not being aware of the criminal law.”

  Confused, she turned to look up at him. “I don’t follow.”

  He sighed heavily and she could tell he found it hard to tell her what he knew. “Did Edmund make a practice of stealing?”

  She immediately became defensive. “He had to. We had no other choice.”

  “I’m sure he did,” he told her. “I’m not criticizing your family’s method of survival. We, as your neighbors and your extended community, should have been more helpful. You should never have had to live the way you did.
It was from our own ignorance and prejudice that your family and inner community suffered.”

  Anna stared up at him with her mouth gaping open.

  “But it was your mother’s own ignorance the constable abused.” He paused and Anna waited, slightly confused. “After he caught Edmund stealing he threatened to have him hung for theft unless your mother agreed to repay his debt.”

  She gasped and took a step back.

  “Anna,” he said softly and reached out to touch her, then dropped his hand. “A man can’t be hung for theft.”

  She felt a sharp pain stab her heart and felt her mother’s suffering. “She never told us.”

  “I suppose she wouldn’t,” he stated quietly and Anna realized how true his words were.

  If Edmund had any idea what their mother had done for him, he would never have forgiven himself. She was certain in the end they would have hung him, for she knew Edmund well enough that he would have wanted revenge. And the murder of a lawman was a major crime, punishable only by death.

  They said nothing else for several minutes until Wade softly broke the silence. “I think we should head back now.”

  Anna nodded, then followed him out of the house. She was glad he had told her. Otherwise, Anna would have spent the rest of her life remembering her mother’s memory slightly tarnished. Stopping to look back at the house one more time, she smiled to herself and thought her mother was probably the biggest hero in this entire nightmare.

  “Anna?”

  She turned to see him looking at her concerned and said, “Before we go back, I want to show you something.”

  He looked puzzled but followed her out of the village. They walked several yards until finally reaching a clearing that overlooked the valley below. Anna looked over the view that had lured her many times and felt the same beauty and tranquility the scenery brought.

  “I would come here often and watch as the sun set beyond the mountain ranges in the distance.” She pointed to the western horizon and Wade turned to look.

  “It’s beautiful up here.”

  She smiled and nodded. “I wouldn’t have traded any home in Lantern for this mountain.”

  His face went soft before he turned and looked down the valley. “I believe that’s the homestead in the far distance.”

  Anna already knew that. “I often could see smoke rising from that part of the valley and I knew it was someone’s home, I just didn’t know whose. I once asked my father, but he told me no good would come out of finding out and I was best to stay away.”

  Wade faced her. “Anna, I don’t know if you’re aware of it, but it was your father that fought hard to allow this community to remain on the mountain.”

  She really wasn’t surprised. Her father loved the vast wilderness as much as she had. “And it was your father that fought so hard to rid us.”

  He winced, and looked slightly ashamed. “Ignorance can make the most sensible man wrong.”

  Her mother came to mind and Anna couldn’t but agree. “Because of you, we were able to stay.”

  “He had his flaws, but he was a good man and he loved me dearly. The only one who did in those days. My mother pampered my siblings and saw me as her husband’s son and wanted nothing to do with me until his death. Then she relied on me for her survival. But could never really learn to love me. It was far too gone for that.”

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

  “It would be disrespectful for me to speak ill of him, but I am sorry that he hurt your family.” He turned back to look over the valley. “I remember several years after his death, I had gone alone up into the mountain. I often would, just so I could be by myself and think. That day I was in search of some missing heifers that had wandered off from the herd. I wasn’t successful in locating the animals, but I did come across a child of about the age of four or five. It was a little girl who had the biggest brown eyes I had ever seen. I remember her looking up at me with such a terrified look but then ran off. I followed her to the village. It was the first time I had ever seen it. I stood along the edge and did not let myself be noticed. I watched this little community of people and realized that I could never evict them from the only home they knew. Or that little girl.”

  Anna stood watching him, startled by this story. “That little girl?”

  He smiled. “When you first showed up in my barn with your face all covered in mud except for your eyes, it triggered a memory. I had seen those frightened eyes before, but didn’t make the connection until much later.”

  “My God,” she muttered, trying to remember an incident when she had seen a stranger in the woods. “I remember. You were the biggest man I had ever seen.”

  Wade chuckled, then reached out for her hands. “Anna, the other day, I made a visit to Walter Grisham. He’s the family lawyer. I had him sever the land. The mountain is no longer part of the ranch. It now belongs to you.”

  Her jaw dropped and she stared up at him stunned. “You’re giving me the mountain? Why?”

  “I’ve always said it belonged more to you than me.” He looked back toward the village. “Its name has been officially changed. It no longer is Mount Louis.”

  Anna frowned, unable to understand why he would have done this. “It isn’t?”

  He shook his head. “It has a new name. Mount Nicholson. In memory of your family.”

  Chapter 23

  Anna gasped and felt tears sting the back of her eyes. Her heart filled with the love she felt and automatically she moved as if to embrace him, then caught herself short. Wade did not enjoy signs of physical emotion. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome,” he quietly said, watching her closely.

  She had to bite down hard on her bottom lip in order to keep her emotions under control. “That’s the nicest thing anybody has ever done for me or my family.”

  He made a pained expression, then turned to look back at the village. “It’s been long overdue.”

  Turning to follow his gaze, she spotted a deer standing partially hidden behind a large oak tree. She had noticed the humans and was watching them closely, standing utterly still for several seconds before taking a few cautious steps.

  “Look,” Wade whispered next to her, and Anna spotted what he had noticed. So small she had almost missed it in the tall bush, was a tiny fawn moving as if without a care in the world. It pranced happily with such trust behind its mother. An image of Nathan playing amongst the field of wildflowers entered Anna’s head. A shadow of sadness hovered momentarily over her heart. Then she pictured an image of her mother smiling at her warmly with a look of forgiveness, before turning and picking him up then disappearing into the woods. A feeling of peace touched her heart as she watched the mother and her fawn vanish into the forest as well. Life had defeated evil.

  Anna smiled. “I’m ready to go back.”

  He nodded and took her elbow in his hand and together they walked back to their horses and rode the long journey down to the ranch in silence. It was nearly the dinner hour when they returned, so Anna headed for the house to prepare supper. Wade headed for the bunkhouse to have some words with his ranch hands as he was expecting a delivery of heifers the following morning.

  An hour later she heard Wade enter the house on account of Prescott’s voice. He was chatting happily in his usual manner. Naturally, Wade was a silent listener as the brothers made their way upstairs to change in proper attire for dinner. Anna had begun to make a practice of it as well since Wade had bought her the new dress. She had made the alterations and was quite pleased at how she looked in it. The first time Wade had seen her in it as well, she knew it also met with his approval.

  When she heard them enter the dining room, she carried in their plates, but was surprised to find only Wade at the table. He looked up upon her arrival. “Prescott has decided to go into Lantern for dinner and won’t be back until tomorrow.”

  “Oh.” Silently she was glad. She enjoyed when it was just her and Wade.

  “I’ve asked him to
be considerate next time and give you proper notice before he plans on missing dinner.”

  “That’s all right,” she said and placed Wade’s plate in front of him. “I can leave his portion as leftovers.”

  They ate in silence, which Anna was beginning to notice was typical for them. Wade seemed to appreciate the quiet as opposed to the mundane chatter he was accustomed to with Prescott. After dinner, she made them coffee and they took it into the reading room. She hadn’t been practicing her reading and writing nearly as much as she should have over the past little while, but she had made some headway. Wade selected a book for her, and sitting next to him in the two large red chairs they began to read silently. Truthfully, Anna spent most of the time silently watching Wade. She had so few moments that she could simply sit and stare at him without being noticed.

  Most nights, Wade would be the first to retire to bed, however that evening Anna noticed the hour ticking past his usual curfew. Admittedly, she felt herself yawning and couldn’t put sleep off any longer.

  Slipping her feet over the edge of the chair she got up to stand. “I’m heading off to bed. Good-night.”

  “Anna.” He stopped her and Anna looked down at him surprised. Slowly he got to his feet and went over to the desk against the large window. “I have something of yours.”

  She frowned as he came toward her with a small box, and frowned even harder when she realized it was a jewelry box.

  “I’ve been holding onto it since our wedding.” He held it out to her.

  With unsteady hands, she took the box and removed the lid. Gasping, she looked down at the most exquisite piece of jewelry she had ever seen. It was a brooch shaped in a circle of diamonds with a row of them crossing through the middle. She immediately handed it back. “This isn’t mine.”

  He covered her hands with his and pushed it toward her. “I bought it for you when I thought you were going to New Westminster with Kathleen.”

  Confusion danced across her face. “Why?”