Set In Flames (Morningstars Book 1)

by Sam Destiny

  Lex and Kaden looked at Ryder; understanding in their eyes. They probably knew they wouldn’t have killed their mother, either. Besides the fact that killing women always was the hardest part.

  “How come One, Two and Three never got names, but Maya is called Maya?” Kaden asked and Ryder turned back to them, shrugging.

  “My father loves her. He’s devoted to her. When Matt went to find her she was already in the other family. I thought she was dead. I really did. My father obviously thought so, too… Or better, he acted pretty convincing. I thought he was being serious. He cried when he told me that she was gone.”

  “You never thought that with gone he meant away from him?” Kaden wanted to know and Ryder shook his head.

  “Matt never mentioned her again and by his guilt-ridden expression I thought he had killed her and hated himself for it. It’s how I would have felt, which is why I never doubted it. I guess I was just too scared to hear him say that she died, which is probably why I never bothered clarifying this topic.”

  “And yet you were ready to kill her right away again once you realized who she was,” Jaden whispered, feeling a new level of horror at that thought. He had hated it the first time Ry had mentioned it. Now the thought was unbearable.

  What in the world was he doing to himself?

  “I didn’t want to see how Maya would come back to her senses after the first kill, hating herself for what she had done. Imagine it would have been you in my place. You wanted to hand her your dagger so she could do the deed? Or were you ready to do it? You wanted to watch her beg you for her death? The regret would have wanted her to die, I am sure of it.”

  Just that thought made Jaden feel all cold inside. He knew in Ryder’s position he’d make the same decision.

  Jaden stood, pacing up the stairs and back down again before walking up to his room another time.

  “She is okay, Jaden, and she won’t ever get to the point of killing an innocent person.” Kaden appeared behind him and Jaden sat down on the bed. He felt more restless than ever before.

  “I know. But okay is not good, and as much as I hate to admit Ryder has any point at all, I didn’t handle this whole thing right. Problem is, I have no idea what to do differently,” he admitted and Kaden sighed.

  “How about you go and see her? Talk to her? Try to make it right? You messed up so much she seriously would take any excuse to not be a burden for you.”

  Jaden slowly got up, shaking his head in denial.

  “She is a burden. I never once lied about that, Kaden. Just look, I am fighting with my best friend about a girl I treat exactly the same as he does. I discuss her with people that don’t have half an idea. And the people that do are either totally against me having contact with her or against me being in the warriors. Seriously, I can’t decide what’s worse,” he mumbled and Kaden cocked the same brow he always sported.

  “Ever thought about the fact that maybe, those people who know are just on her side because you have all the backup you can get? Maybe they don’t even take a side in this; but simply want her to be okay because she means a lot to them as well?”

  Jaden smiled ironically.

  “Sure, with no one getting in contact with her, how could they be on her side?”

  “I’ve been to see her, Jaden, and no one stopped me. I don’t think I was the only one who got in there.”

  Jaden instantly gritted his teeth. No matter what reason the guys had to see Maya, he didn’t like it one bit.

  “Yeah, I figured that this would be your reaction, but seriously, I would rather have her feeling slightly better than her sitting there, crying all day. Not that she is. Quite the rebel you have there,” Kaden winked and Jaden looked up, a questioning expression on his face.

  “She’s leaving her room, sneaking around the halls, reading in whatever room suits her best. It’s driving Colbin nuts. He leaves her be because usually no one but him and Lara are home. Whenever he makes her return to her room she just shrugs, leaves and, bang, shows up twenty minutes later in another room. She took quite a liking to the game room,” he reported and Jaden smiled a half-smile.

  He could literally imagine Cupcake doing that. She had spunk. You couldn’t survive the streets as long as she had without it.

  “Go and see her, Jay. I mean it,” Kaden nudged gently and Jaden realized he was still smiling. There was nothing to smile about though. She wouldn’t let him get into her room if she had a choice and he couldn’t deny that she was right in her anger.

  He wished she were somehow marked his, for everyone to see. Were she his girl, he’d make her dress in his sweaters. They’d be big like a dress, but they’d state that she belonged to someone. He didn’t think that any of the guys would make a move on her, but that thought didn’t calm him down the least.

  He had seen enough Origins going astray because their mate didn’t treat them half like they deserved.

  Cursing under his breath, he went over to his closet, getting out one of his black pullovers. It wouldn’t be as big on her as the hoodies … but then again, if she wore his hoodie, her pretty little body would be hidden from plain view.

  With a groan Jaden grabbed one of those instead, spraying some cologne on it for good measure. He nearly dropped the bottle though when Kaden spoke again. He had all but forgotten his twin.

  “And you think that’ll make her feel better?”

  Jaden just shrugged, his back to Kaden.

  He couldn’t be close to her, but at least she’d have his sweater. It was something of him, right?

  Wordlessly he passed his twin, went through the living room, ignoring the inquiring gazes from his friends and then left.

  The night was coldest before the sun came up and Jaden knew that he’d have to stay at the base today. Not that he cared. The way he knew himself he’d be by her bed until he felt her stirring.

  Luckily he didn’t meet any of the others in the halls, slipping into her room quietly.

  It was heavy with the scent of raspberries and vanilla and he paused a moment. Her soft breathing came to his ears and he remembered too well how heavy her breath got when she was turned on. What wouldn’t he give to lie down next to her and hold her tight?

  Instead he knelt next to the bed, gently going through her hair, careful to not wake her up.

  “She’s dreaming,” he heard a voice from the door and Jaden rested his head on her bed, silently cursing all his too nosy friends.

  “You love us. I just thought I’d help you out since you want to tell her a lot of things you funnily don’t want her to hear. It would be much better apologizing when she’s awake, you know?”

  Had he asked for Lex’s two cents? No.

  “Won’t stop me,” his friend grinned and Jaden shook his head.

  “Not feeling Ryder and Kaden this day?” he asked instead of reacting and Lex shrugged.

  “I worried what would happen if you’d found her awake. I don’t think she would have been too happy to find you sneaking into her room,” Lex replied and Jaden sighed. He wasn’t there to hurt her more. He just needed to be close.

  Lex didn’t leave and Jaden shook his head.

  “Anything else?” he wanted to know and Lex nodded, walking closer to the bed; watching Maya’s face with the softest expression.

  Any step closer and Jaden would jump over that bed, seriously bruising that pretty motherfucker’s face.

  “Don’t worry. I won’t touch her. Anyways, her dreams changed, Jaden. I’m not gonna tell you more than that, but please, what this girl has seen in two years? I’d feel much better knowing you don’t add to her pain anymore.”

  “Can you please stay the fuck out of my girl’s head?” Jaden inquired and Lex gave him a grin.

  “She shuts me out most of the time, but when she’s dreaming … her imagination is very vivid. I can’t help but wonder what naughty thoughts would run through her head if she were just a normal girl.”

  Before he really had finished that thought he stood by
the door, giving Jaden a much-saying grin before leaving and closing it behind him.

  It was his luck, too.

  Being used to super hearing, Jaden was surprised that their talk hadn’t woken up his sleeping beauty. Most likely their conversation had taken place in tones that were too soft to hear for human ears.

  “Cupcake,” he whispered, leaning over enough so he could kiss her cheek. Only that brush wasn’t enough. He kissed her forehead, her nose and then her lips, ever so slightly.

  “I am sorry for what I said. I am sorry for the way I treat you, but falling in love with you is not an option. Neither for you, nor for me. We can’t be together, girl. This would be a lifelong heart break and you don’t deserve that.”

  He trailed off, realizing that she didn’t deserve this treatment, either.

  “This is all messed up. I’m not strong enough to fight for you or for us the way you’d deserve it. Kaden would have been the better choice. He would have already grabbed you and left. You really got the bad end of the deal,” he went on and suddenly the need to be close to her was overwhelming.

  Careful, stealthily climbing into bed next to her, he cuddled her as close as he could. It would be his goodbye, the only time he’d seriously give her the impression that they could be more than what he let her believe. More than what his race needed them to be.

  Not that she’d ever know.

  She shivered as his warmth invaded her body and he realized that this room was way too cold for a regular human. Hell, mostly even this whole house was too freaking cold.

  None of them would have noticed and as much as Lara cared, she wouldn’t have realized it, either.

  Kaden was right: She needed friends, but no one was doing a real good job looking after her.

  In a swift movement Jaden had removed the hoodie he was wearing, draping it over her while she moved in closer, seeking his body heat subconsciously.

  He swore to himself in this moment that he was going to do everything for her – as long as he didn’t have to see her personally.

  “Cupcake, I wish you’d be a regular Origin. I probably could have dealt with that after a while. You weren’t in my plans and now I am suddenly not sure how I ever thought I could plan without you. Girl, it would be so much better if you’d hate me. Maybe that would make it easier for you anyways … truly hating me.”

  There was just one problem: The thought of her hating him cut way too deep already.

  Maya woke up because she was hot. She couldn’t exactly remember when she last had felt so warm, but this morning, or better evening, it was too much.

  She hadn’t been knowingly freezing, but with the heat now having invaded her body she noticed how cold she had felt ever since she had arrived.

  Sitting up, something black slid down from her body and with shaking hands she reached for the material.

  A sweater. And by the spicy smell, one of Jaden’s. Someone was trying to play a seriously cruel joke on her and even though she wished she would be angry, she couldn’t help but pull it over her head.

  His smell instantly surrounded her and she took a few deep breaths before getting mad at herself, taking the sweater off again and then throwing it across the room.

  Looking around she saw a fire burning in the fireplace. It was the first time ever and she was surprised, because for some reason she had considered it fake, just deco in this room. She did like that it was lit though. If she combined all the evidence, meaning sweater, fire and the breakfast next to her bed, she’d say it had been someone with a very guilty mind.

  Someone like her mate. Sighing she got up, picking a brow up at some flowers that stood on her desk.

  The fact that he wasn’t here spoke volumes, yet she couldn’t help but softening towards him again. He cared. No matter what he told himself; he couldn’t stay cold towards the woman that so rudely had been forced upon him.

  Chapter Five

  The rain was coming down hard, when Maya decided to settle in her favorite window seat with a book. She already knew she wouldn’t get to it anyways, but she at least wanted to try. Her mind though simply didn’t focus.

  The door clicked and she knew someone had snuck in. She turned, expecting Lex, hoping for Jaden and finding… Red. She knew by now that he had gotten his name because of his eyes, which marked him as one of their enemies.

  Maya had been dying to talk to him, to the supposedly heartless one.

  He stayed by the door, making her wonder if it was for his sake or hers.

  “Grab a chair,” she invited and he did, coming closer.

  She waited, giving him a chance to sort through his thoughts.

  “It’s not true, you know?”

  She blinked. “What is?” she asked, putting the book aside so she could pull her knees up to her body.

  “I’m not heartless. That means you don’t need to be afraid of me. I know what the guys may or may not have told you,” he said, his voice soothing. It made her smile.

  “I’m not, and I’m sorry if I gave you that impression,” she explained, seeing how he picked up a brow. “Why are they calling you the heartless one if it’s not true?”

  Silence stretched between them and she started to wonder if he only was there because everyone else had been in to see her. Was he feeling obligated to keep her company, too? She reached for her book just when he ran a hand through his raven hair.

  “Staying in control is hard. Emotions easily throw that control. I don’t hang out with them often… or feel compassion the same way they do. I’m making a choice against being evil every hour of every night. That’s why they call me the heartless one. I don’t care what you represent in their society, or who you are meant to be once you get out, but keeping you a prisoner like this is wrong. I figured you could use some…” He shrugged, rubbing the back of his head in thought.

  “Friends?” she helped out, but he instantly shook his head.

  “I don’t do friends. I never did, which is why I’m not having a preference for any of the other guys,” he explained and she grinned. “That’s not what I meant! I meant I’m not close to any of them,” he said, blanching under her eyes. She laughed before sobering again. If he had no friends and wasn’t close to any of the guys, then… The question was who of them was the truly lonely one?

  “I’m glad you came by. I feel terrible. I wish I could just leave. I’d stay wherever your leader wants me to stay, as long as I could pick,” she whispered and Red forced a smile onto his lips. It looked as if someone was trying to torture him.

  “I know how you feel. They kept me locked up a long while before they trusted me. Only my quarters weren’t as comfortable as yours.”

  She shook just from that announcement, but still wondered if maybe he had gotten the better end of the deal after all. “I wish they would just put me into a cellar. That way no one would have to pretend I have a free will.”

  “Oh May, don’t say that! You are a pure soul, a good person. Good people don’t…” He drew a long breath. She stared at him, wondering if he had gotten her name wrong or… Had he possibly given her a nickname? Was he trying to make her feel at ease? For someone who was rumored to be heartless he sure was going out of his way to make her feel better.

  “Get locked up for being a freak?” she teased, hoping to ease the tension he was throwing off.

  “You aren’t, and you know that. I do have to say I am jealous of your purple eyes though,” he admitted with a sad smile.

  “Because they’d ease your struggle?”

  He nodded.

  “Can I ask you a few questions? Red is stupid. You have to have a real name, right? All parents name their child something,” she whispered and he got up from his chair, walking over to the next window to rest his forehead against the cold glass. She noticed how his eyes began to glow around the irises. Asking for either his parents or his name caused too many emotions, it seemed.

  “Miles. They called me Miles. They hoped a normal, boring name would change what I
was. It didn’t. Once I changed I decided to leave that name behind. The guys were eager to provide a new one though. Red just stuck.” There was a strain in his voice and she could see the veins in his neck bulging. “I gotta go,” he added suddenly, but she didn’t let him, simply stepping in his way.

  She needed to prove to him that she wasn’t scared. “Stay, I can read to you and you can just listen. It’ll calm you down. I don’t want you to go like that,” she said quietly and his glowing eyes focused on her.

  “You should be afraid and I don’t wanna scare you,” he pressed, but she just reached out to touch his arm.

  “I’m not. Sit. I’ll read to you. It’s a sappy romance about a chance meeting between a soldier and a girl. You’ll love it,” she grinned, waiting for him to settle down. She could tell he was reluctant, but she rather knew he was okay before he left her room than worrying how guilty he felt about scaring her. Sitting down as well, she picked up the book she had intended to read.

  “You’ll be a great Queen,” he suddenly said and she paused before she even had started to read.

  “What makes you say that?”

  “You are not afraid to stand up for people who need it. You know when someone needs company,” he mumbled and she shook her head.

  “It’s what helps, isn’t it? Company?” she asked and he nodded.

  “It’s a fucking paradox. Usually I get more emotional when I’m around people, but they, too, calm me down the most. Each and every time I run the risk of hurting them. Even the guys are too afraid to stick around then. They never say it, but I know.”

  She stared at him for a long moment. “It hurts you,” she stated, but he just shook his head.

  “Miles, let me be your friend. Talks like this might bring out emotions you don’t wanna face, but maybe they’ll make it less likely you’ll go crazy,” she suggested.

  “You really are desperate, huh, May?” he teased and she was glad to notice that the glowing of his eyes subsided.