Skin Deep

by Trista Jaszczak

  He laughs. “Not for good, Lo. We’ll be back to visit, remember?”

  “I know, I can’t let either of you pass up these job opportunities either. NYC Ink’d is huge Kade, and they want you.”

  He gives me a nonchalant little shrug. “They’ve only seen a few pieces of my work. They don’t really know my custom stuff. Not like they know yours. Anyone can pick up some flashes and replicate anymore. It’s the custom stuff that gets you places and makes you noticeable anymore, I think.”

  I glance at him as he looks at the custom sleeve I gave him.

  “This,” he points to my work, “this is what makes you amazing, you stick out.”

  I feel my cheeks begin to fill with color. “Kade, you’ll do wonderfully. I know it. I hired you because of your talent. NYC Ink’d sees the same talent in you that I see every day and have seen every day for the past five years.”

  His own cheeks begin to fill with a little color. “I’m twenty-six, I don’t have everything figured out Lo. I’m scared that I won’t fit in there.”

  “Well, how about this,” I say lifting my hand onto his shoulder, “if ever you feel like you don’t fit in, you have a job here waiting for you no matter what.” I point to my second full sleeve tattoo, “besides, I have a few more ideas of things you can add to this for me.”

  He laughs softly. “You’re running out of skin, Lo.”

  I look down at myself. I currently have two full sleeves, a tattoo on my right thigh, one around my left ankle, some work on my lower back, and one hidden beneath my mop of my long, dark hair on the back of my neck. I laugh. “What are you talking about? I have plenty of room.”

  He laughs and shakes his head slightly. “Your body is your canvas, right?”

  “Damn right. My body is my journal and my ink tells my story.”

  “So, tell me, did you find an artist to replace us?”

  I give my head a slow, sad shake. “I guess I’m just too picky.”

  “Picky is good, Lo, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.” He says, opening the door to No Doze for me.

  The bright, bold colors half blind us as we walk in. They don’t call it No Doze for nothing. The bright neon colors, rainbow lights, and wacky furniture are bound to keep anyone awake, add one of their signature monster-sized coffees or teas and you are set. I always stick with a plain old chai tea, I know it's not too terrible for me at least. Kade, on the other hand, will get a monster latte with a triple shot. Honestly, the taste of it makes me gag, I don’t know how he manages to chug back that thing. We say hello to our favorite barista, place our usual order and head off to our little cozy corner seats that we love so much. It’s actually just a gigantic pile of rainbow-colored bean bags shoved in the corner with tiny little tables in front of them for your drinks. Since No Doze is such a relaxed place, they don't mind if you lay in the pile of bean bags while you wait for your order. Kade and I have been here so much that we do just that, every single time; without fail. If our spot is taken, we’ve gone as far as walking around the block until it opens up. I am telling you, I don’t give a damn that I am twenty-five years old, jumping into a pile of bean bag chairs never gets old.

  I lay back on the bean bags and release a sigh. This is most likely our last trip here. Kade has become my closest friend. He’s been here for me when I had no one else. He’s let me vent about bad days, my shitty past, demanding customers, everything. Now all of it would be gone. I hope it’s okay to be a little sad because I am. As the barista brings our drinks, Kade takes them both and places them on one of the small tables for us. I sit up and he grins at me.

  “You okay?”

  I nod and shrug and then shake my head. “I don’t know,” I sigh. “I am thrilled for you. I am. I really am. But, I'm sad to see you go. You’re my closest friend. I…trust you.”

  “If you ever need me, even if it’s just to vent, you call me. I don’t give a shit what time it is. Okay?” He reaches out and tenderly touches my shoulder.

  I reach for my tea and have a sip. “I will, you know I will. And if you need me, you call me, anytime. I don’t care if I’m at work, you call me.” Kade and I connected so well because of our shitty pasts. My mother was abusive and my dad died. His stepfather was abusive, his half-brother deserted him, and his mother chose his step-dad over him. At sixteen it’s a pretty shitty hand to be dealt.

  “No sad shit though. I wanted this to be fun. Which is why…” His voice trails and he reaches behind him picking up a bright pink box. I'd noticed it earlier but didn’t think anything of it. “I bought you this.” He passes it to me smiling. “I wanted you to have something to remember me by.”

  I give him arm a playful swat. “You know I'll never forget you. You didn't have to do this. You know that, right?”

  He shakes his head and sips at his latte. “I wanted to Lo. I wanted you to have something from me that every time you look at it, you think about me.”

  I feel the familiar heat instantly rush to my cheeks once more.

  “Well, go on, open it.” He laughs, giving my knee a little nudge. “I hope you like it. It took me weeks to find that color.”

  I give him a funny look as I begin removing the lid of the pink box. Inside, staring up at me, are two hot pink tattoo machines. Presumably, a liner and a shader. My mouth drops and I release a little squeal as I dive for Kade, wrapping my arms around him. “Oh, Kade! This is... You didn’t!”

  He beams, “I wanted you to have something that would make you always think of me. Leaves a little piece of me in the shop.”

  I lean back, looking at the box in my lap, and tuck my hair behind my ears. “Oh Kade, this is…these are so great…I -” My voice stops as I tenderly pick one up to inspect it. They’re perfect and they’re my favorite color. “Kade, I love them, thank you so much!” I feel myself becoming misty eyed and I blink them away as I look at him. “Thank you so much, I…I really don’t know what to say.”

  “I should be the one thanking you, Lo. You got me through some tough years. Gave me a job when no one else would. I owe the gig in New York to you.”

  My cheeks fill with more color and I look down at the box again, as Kade moves in closer to me. I feel one of his arms drop around me as he pushes the hair from my face, lifting my chin with his fingertips.

  “Kade, how could I not hire you? You’re incredible at what you do and besides you helped me start Skin Deep.” I remind him.

  He leans into me, still lifting my chin with his fingers. “I owe you a lot, Lo. You’ve done so much for me and we’ve gotten close these last five years.”

  I reply with a quick nod and a sigh. I know where he’s going with this and I‘m not entirely sure I’m ready for it. Kade has been such a close friend that losing him completely might kill me. But without any further hesitation, Kade leans into me and presses his lips to mine. He parts my lips slowly and his tongue gently sweeps inside my mouth. I release an involuntary moan as he slowly begins to pull away.

  “I’ve wanted to do that for the last year and a half.” He admits with a sheepish grin, now releasing my face.

  I feel heat blaze from my cheeks. He chooses now to do this? The day before he leaves. The day before he leaves and now he does this? I can hardly wrap my head around what’s just happened. I’ve never seen Kade like that. He’s always been Kade, my best friend. The guy I go to when my mom comes into town looking for me. The guy I go to when we want to go out and have fun or just hang out. But this is a whole new level for me. Sure, we’re both single but he leaves tomorrow for New York and with Skin Deep, it’s not like I can just follow him like some lost puppy looking for a home. I look up at him and smile behind pink cheeks.

  “I know it’s a lot to take in and I’m sorry that I sprung this on you now. I know you can’t very well follow me to New York. I just had to do it before I left. I swear to you that it doesn’t change anything unless you want it to.”

  I have no idea how to respond to this. I never thought in a million years that
Kade would kiss me the day before he leaves for a whole new state. A whole new…life. I let out another sigh and look down at the box. “Kade, I…I don’t know what to say.”

  “You don’t have to say anything really. Just accept my gift and say, you’ll think of me.” He smiles.

  “I'll always think of you,” I tell him, tears pricking at the corners of my eyes once more. “Are you sure you want me to have these?”

  He immediately nods without hesitation. “Of course I do, they’re your color. Besides, you were just complaining that you needed a new liner. This is just a bonus. You get a liner and a shader.” He pushes my hair from my eyes, again. “You know, we should probably get back. I bet the food is there and you know Arch is probably bugging Cas to death to dig in.”

  I give him a smile and place the top on my gift. I’m still trying to comprehend what’s just happened. Kade doesn’t seem any different as we grab our drinks, he takes my gift as I reach for my purse behind me. He’s telling me that he’s flying out and his things are being shipped there to make life easier. He already has an apartment set up so there will be no long term hotel stays as he searches for a place to live. I find myself spacing out a time or two as he continues to speak. He’s definitely excited to go. Scared out of his mind to leave what he knows as a home, but excited nevertheless. What’s completely baffling to me is that he hasn’t said anything, even once, about just having his tongue in my mouth. I glance at him a moment as we walk back to the shop. I’m actually surprised he hasn’t said anything, but it gives me time to think about his actions and how I feel about them. Not that it matters how I feel about it at this point. Kade is off to New York in the morning on a red-eye, and there's nothing I can do to stop that.

  When we get back to the shop, Archer is laying back on one of the chairs meant for customers and Cas is by one of the tables I had set up for our little party.

  “Oh my God, Lola, you have to see this cake…” Cas tells me with wide green eyes. “It is fucking amazing. It looks just like a fucking tattoo machine!”

  I let out a little laugh. Apparently, telling them what the cake looked like completely slipped my mind. “I know…does it look okay?”

  “Okay?” Archer interrupts. “He’s been saying for the past half hour that we can’t possibly eat the thing. I don’t give a shit what it looks like that thing is from Triple Layer and I am having a piece…or ten.”

  I can’t help but laugh as Kade walks over to my section of the shop and puts my new gift on top of my cart. “Well, no one is getting cake until we all dig into this food from Fat Boys. I ordered enough to feed an army so anything that’s left over we can take to the shelter first thing in the morning.”

  “That’s Lo,” Kade says walking up to me, lifting my chin with his fingers again. “Always thinking about others in need.”

  I feel the heat rush to my cheeks, as I have to try to remind myself that he is leaving in less than twelve hours. I feel like he’s giving me a chance to ask him to stay. An opportunity to stop him. But he knows this is a huge deal for him. One that I won’t take from him. So whatever there was, whatever there could have been…the chance is gone. With an opportunity like NYC Ink’d, I’d never hold him back. A new door has opened for him and this is his chance to do what he loves. Even if it means giving up the best friend that I've ever had. I let out a long sigh, give him a nod, and quick hug. I’ll miss him but now is just not the time for us.

  By the time we leave the shop, we’re all stuffed with good food, incredible cake, and three sheets to the wind. Cas and I get Archer and Kade into the same cab, giving them hugs, saying our goodbyes, but promising to see each other soon. Kade, though drunk, manages to give me one last hug and kiss on the cheek. While Archer still has a few more days, this will be the last time that I see Kade. I squeeze him tightly and breathe him in. My best friend who knows my deepest, darkest secrets. All I want is for him to do well and enjoy NYC Ink’d to the fullest.

  “I will be back to visit lots, Lo.”

  I give him a solemn nod. Once again, I am losing the only family I've ever known in my life. It may have been small, it may have been bent and broken, but it was mine.

  “Just remember, if you need me for anything, call me. Anytime, day or night.” He tells me softly in my ear.

  I give him a nod. “The same goes for you.”

  He gives me one last squeeze as I help him into the cab and tell Archer that I will see him tomorrow. He gives me a nod. At least I still have Arch for a bit to ease the blow of Kade leaving first thing in the morning. I sniffle and wipe my face. No fucking way am I standing here drunk, crying in front of my own tattoo shop. I feel Cas’ hand on my shoulder and I turn to hug him. He’s shocked, but doesn’t think twice given the situation and wraps his arms around me.

  “It’ll be alright,” he tells me. “We’ll make it. I’ll bust my ass to keep this shop open for you.”

  “You guys are my family Cas,” I whimper, “you’re all I’ve got and now we’re falling apart.”

  I feel his hand tenderly rub my back. “We’re not falling apart. We’re still a family. We’re just…branching out the family tree.” He pulls away, wiping the stray tear from my cheek. “Come on Budweiser breath, let’s get you home.”

  I give him a nod as he opens the cab door for me. All I want to think about right now is a long hot bath and curling up in bed until I pass out in a beer induced haze.

  It's been a week since the going away party and today I have to say goodbye to Archer. He’d taken his last week to get his things ready to move and even though he’s been visiting it still feels empty around here.

  Now it’s just Cas and me. Despite all the customers that have been in and out of the shop, it feels dead and lonely here. Cas has been a huge help though, and I am so grateful to have him right now. We may be exhausted, but the first week without our other two artists has gone off without a hitch. I've been looking at applications for someone to clean the shop while Cas and I handle the artwork. Seems harmless enough anyway, but we’ll see.

  I’ve been away for a good chunk of the afternoon, running errands while Cas holds down the fort, but the sudden downpour of rain has caught me off guard. My white tank top is completely soaked, white lace bra is peeking through, flip flops are slipping from my feet and just plain uncomfortable to run in, and my hair and makeup make me look like a Halloween attraction. I can feel my mascara running as we speak. When I burst through the door of the shop, I say a little prayer and hope that there are no customers. I grab my emergency bag of clothes and attempt to slip to the back. I shake out my long hair and look up to see Cas talking with another man. My jaw hits the floor as they both turn in my direction. He’s tall, well built, has messy, dark hair and blessed with blue eyes that could make a girl in Alaska in the dead of the winter melt into a puddle. To top that off, he's got two full sleeves of gorgeous artwork. I gasp and immediately cross my arms in front of my body.

  Cas laughs, shaking his head. “Lola, this is River. He’s here to apply for the open artist position.”

  Oh, Jesus fucking hell. I look like shit and that man is sex on two legs. I bite my bottom lip and finally smile. “So nice to meet you. Sorry, it’s raining outside.” I begin slipping past them in my wet flip flops. “If you could just please sit tight, I just need to change, I’ll be right back.”

  River smiles, holding back his laughter, and gives me a nod. “I’d be happy to.”

  I glance back to see that River is still watching me as I dart into my office and shut the door behind me. Glancing at myself in the mirror I make a horrid face. I look like complete shit. My wet hair is ratty, my makeup running, I look like I tried to enter a wet tee-shirt contest and failed…some first impression I’ve just made. I peel off my wet clothes and quickly change into a plain black tank top and dark jeans. I brush out my wet hair and let it fall down my back. It’s still wet, but at least it doesn’t look as bad as it did when I came in. I clean off my ruined make-up and touch it up wi
th what I have. It's not perfect, but it’ll have to do for now.

  I walk back into the shop to see Cas and River are chatting like old friends. Good sign, since they have to work together. River is showing Cas part of his sleeve. His work looks stunning, with its bright, vibrant colors that stand out. He’s currently explaining that he had it done at NYC Ink’d. Well, isn’t that just a fucking coincidence?

  Cas looks up and smiles. “River, this is Lola, she’s the boss lady around here.”

  “Hi, River,” I grin, extending my hand for him to shake it. Oh, fucking hell. This man is gorgeous. His face is covered in well-trimmed stubble, his chaotic hair is purposely styled that way and well cared for. His plain white tee shirt is pristine and paired with his dark wash jeans it looks just fantastic on him. Through his tee shirt, I can see that his left nipple is pierced, adorned with the tiniest of hoops. I shake myself. I'm a professional. I'd be his boss.

  “Hi, Lola.” He reaches out to shake my hand and I feel my heart skip. His grip is tight and sturdy and I can see the muscles in his forearm flexing. “I heard that you were looking for an extra artist.”

  I nod and pull my hand away. “I am actually. You up for giving it a shot?”

  He passes me his application and a small portfolio. I flick through the pages. My God, his work is actually incredible. Most of the portfolio he’s brought to share are photos from his actual customers and contains some custom creations. “Wow. Not bad.”

  “I have eight years of experience. Just came back to town after being in New York for a bit.” He explains.

  “NYC Ink’d?” I question, arching a brow as I look back at his application.

  He nods. “For a while. This has always been my home. I have a house here and couldn’t manage to give it up.”

  This guy is gold. Not to mention easy on the eyes. Our regulars will like that. I smile brightly. “Are you up for a little challenge?”