Skin Deep

by Trista Jaszczak

I peek over his shoulder for a second and then look back at him. “Do I smell bacon?”

  He grins from ear to ear. “And scrambled eggs, loaded with veggies, freshly squeezed OJ just for you, and toast.”

  My stomach practically screams in delight at the thought.

  “Why don’t you have a seat, I’ll get it ready for you,” he tells me, “It’s almost done.”

  I have a seat at the bar as he begins pouring me a tall glass of orange juice. I reach for it now feeling like I’m dying of thirst and guzzle down more than half. River quickly tops it off for me as he starts laying pieces of bacon on a plate.

  “How are you feeling this morning?”

  “I feel great,” I tell him. “Still a little shocked since I didn’t expect that from you. I’m also surprised that it’s such a turn on for me.”

  He sets a plate of bacon and scrambled eggs in front of me smiling. “Well, sometimes you just never know until you try things.”

  “You went a little easy on me last night, didn’t you?” I ask, grabbing a slice of bacon.

  He has a sip of whatever is in his coffee mug and nods. “A little. I need to ease you in so you adjust.”

  I have a bite of eggs and another gulp of orange juice. “After we finished last night, you really just…babied me. Is that normal?”

  “Mhm, and you can expect a lot of that. Sometimes people like to glorify abuse as BDSM, but honestly there is a great deal of care involved. A good Dom will always give his sub aftercare.”

  “That’s what it’s called?”

  He nods. “Aftercare, yes.”

  I yawn just before having another drink of orange juice in hopes of it waking me up some more.

  “Did you sleep well?”

  “Mmm, did I ever,” I say softly. “I honestly wouldn’t mind taking a nap with you…Daddy.”

  He smiles but shakes his head.

  I start to pout. I really honestly thought using Daddy would get me a nap with him after breakfast. Cas is opening today and we’re not due in until two. There is more than enough time for it.

  “Now, princess don’t give me that look. I want a nap as much as you do, but we have things to do today.”

  “What things?” I whine, having another bite of bacon. “You know I don’t get to sleep in often, today is my chance.”

  “Not today, princess. I want you to go in for a manicure and pedicure before we go to work. I noticed that your nails are chipped.”

  I extend my hand to inspect my lavender nails. The polish is chipping, but they’re not horrendous by any means. “They’re not that bad,” I say, showing him my hand.

  “They’re chipped. They need to be done. Besides it’ll feel good to have some fresh polish on them.” He tells me, finishing his drink.

  I pout but give him a nod. “Yes, Daddy.”

  He chuckles and reaches across the bar to brush the hair from my eyes, “I told you that you’d be a baby girl sub.”

  “What?” I think for a moment. Jesus Christ. Did I just purposely get pouty with him? My jaw drops and my eyes widen as I gasp slightly.

  He laughs softly. “It’s perfectly alright, princess. You’re catching on very quickly . I’m proud of you for that. Daddy loves that you’re falling right into your place as my sub.”

  “It’s just fast and I’ve never acted that way before.”

  “You’ve never had a Daddy Dom before either.”

  “But, still…”

  He turns to his Keurig and begins making himself another cup of coffee and gives me a refill of juice. “Don’t just drink juice princess, finish your eggs too.”

  I stare at him in disbelief for a moment. How is it possible that me, an independent woman, is falling into line as his baby girl in a matter of days? How is this all even possible? I take a deep breath and release it before having another huge bite of eggs. It seems this will be one of the most interesting rides of my life.

  River has kept his word. After breakfast I got dressed, making sure to do my hair and makeup to his liking. He then whisked me off to the nail salon. I’ve been here for a good two hours as the nail tech has filed, buffed, and lacquered my nails and toes with the palest shade of pink River could find. It’s actually a gorgeous shade and I’m glad that he took into consideration how much I love pink. As much as I love this, I still can’t help but to think about how good that nap would have been. Putting me in the massaging and heating spa chair for my pedicure was a huge mistake. I am so comfortable that I could very well sleep right here.

  I shake my head to clear out some of the fogginess, I look up and see River at the counter paying for my mani-pedi. That's something I will definitely have to adjust to. I haven’t exactly had anyone in my life take care of me. Hell, my own fucking mother failed to take care of me.

  A lady comes by to check my fingers and toes, making sure they’re dry and ready for me to go. She gives them a quick spritz with something in an aerosol can and gives me the go ahead to walk to River.

  He takes my hand peeking at the color. “That shade does suit you.”

  “It’s very pretty, you picked a perfect color,” I tell him, leaning up to give him a little kiss on the lips. “Thank you, Daddy.” I whisper softly.

  “You are very welcome, princess. I’m glad you like it.” He turns to the woman who did my nails and thanks her one more time before we head to the parking lot.

  “Anything else we have to do today?” I ask, looking at the time on his watch briefly.

  “I expect you to get a fresh hair trim and style, but I assume that you have a stylist that you’ll want to use,” he says, “so call and get an appointment for as soon as you can. Just tell him/her that you want something fresh. Make sure that you don’t take off any more than three to four inches though.”

  “Yes, Daddy.” I tell him as he opens the door for me.

  “I knew you were a natural.” He smiles, offering me a hand up into the truck.

  I laugh softly, “We haven’t even honestly started for real yet, though.”

  “No, but you’re doing great and I'm proud of you.”

  I feel my cheeks blaze with heat as he shuts my door and walks to the driver’s side. It’s weird. I don’t know how to explain it, but when he tells me that he’s proud of me or offers me some praise, I swell with pride and excitement. I’ve made him happy and making him happy makes me happy. I don’t have a damn clue what’s wrong with me. I’ve never been like this before. I’ve sure as hell never pouted to try to get something that I want. I’ve never let anyone take care of me. Never let anyone treat me the way he is. It’s all new and different for me. I keep replaying it all in my head like a broken record. I don’t know what to think. All I know is that right now, I want to make River proud. I want to be a good sub for him, even if I really have no idea what I’m doing. People learn, right?

  I feel his hand come down on my knee. “You look like you’re thinking.”

  I giggle. “Just thinking about things. I really want to make you happy. I really like it when you praise me for some reason.”

  He glances at me and smirks. “I've told you before; you’re a natural.”

  I blush again. “Oh, you're still closing with me tonight, right?”

  “Do you really think I’m leaving you in the shop alone all night?” He asks, glancing over at me quickly as he turns into the parking lot of Skin Deep.

  “I just didn’t know if you wanted or could close. I’m just making sure. I guess, trying to balance being your sub and your boss will be interesting, huh?”

  “We can very easily make it work. Work and outside lives are entirely different.” He tells me. “I wouldn’t expect you to treat me as your Dom at work. Likewise, I wouldn’t expect you to act like my sub. Though, if you should be sneaky and whisper “Daddy” to me throughout the day, I certainly wouldn’t be upset about it.”

  “Well then, I'll keep that in mind.”

  “Are you going to tell Cas about us dating?” River asks suddenly.
/>   My eyes grow wide and I turn to look at him. “Probably. You know, he’s astute. I’m sure he already knows or just assumes things.”

  “He really is smart, I’ve actually suspected that he’s known something was going on between us for a while,” River admits.

  “I know, he’s mentioned some things before,” I tell him. “He thought you were…” I let my voice trail and giggle.

  “What? He thought I was what?”

  I laugh. “He thought you were gay.”

  River scrunches his nose and makes a face. “Thanks a lot, Cas. I like you too, buddy.” He groans as he shuts off his truck. “Why in the hell does he think I’m gay?”

  “Because you spend more time on your hair than I do, according to Cas anyway,” I say, flipping the visor down to look in the mirror. For some reason now I'm a lot more concerned with my appearance than I ever was.

  “Well, isn’t that just a great fucking stereotype?” He says, turning to look at me. “Princess, what else has Cas said about me?”

  I look over at him and feel compelled to tell him about everything given our situation now. “Well, he said you were weird that there was something different about you. Of course, I knew there was, but I didn’t know what.”

  “Well, nothing wrong with being a little weird,” he smiles, fixing some stray hair for me. “Anything else?”

  “After things happened that first time and you went to get my lunch, Cas had a little talk with me,” I admit. “Something about, how he had talked to Kade about you and that Kade didn’t like you and he told Cas to watch you with me. I don’t know. Kade is just…Kade, he was my closest friend. He had a bad past and I had a bad past. We confided in each other. I never saw him as anything more, but he always felt the need to be protective. Like a big brother.”

  “What's Kade’s last name?” He asks, making another odd face.

  “Bryant, why?”

  His eyes grow large and he draws in a deep breath. “Well, Kade doesn’t know me and I don’t know Kade, but it sounds like he was pretty quick to judge because he saw me as a threat. You did say yourself, that right before he left he kissed you.”

  I give a slow little nod. “But, it’s not like that at all. Kade really is just a friend and that’s all I see him as. He was one of my first employees and we just talked, got close. You know? It was never supposed to be anything more than that.” I flip the visor back in its resting position. “But, before he left he changed or something. He bought me the pink tattoo machines and kissed me. He was moving and I knew deep down I'd never see him as more than a friend. I felt bad.”

  “You should never feel bad for how you feel,” he tells me, “those are your feelings and yours alone. Never let anyone make you feel badly because you don’t feel the same for them, princess.”

  I blush, it seems River has a perfect way to comfort me no matter what the situation. “Thank you for that.”

  “You know, princess, as your Daddy, I am always here for you. I will always be open and honest with you and you can be the same with me. If you need to talk about your past, anytime, day or night, you let me know.”

  “I may actually take you up on that offer,” I say, softly, pouting. “My mom, you know? She has this way of trying to just pop up in my life. She makes me crazy, especially after what she put me through.”

  “Don’t make that face, princess, please…for Daddy.” He cups my face in his hands. “I don’t like that look at all. I hate that she was horrible to you. I don’t even know what she did and I know she treated you awful.”

  “She definitely was set in her ways,” I tell him. “You know, sometimes I remember how she treated me and I think, maybe she didn't want a kid, or maybe she just didn't love me.”

  “Oh, princess,” he leans forward and kisses my forehead, “somewhere, deep inside of her, she did love you. I’m sure of it.”

  “The pills and the booze got in the way.” I say, grabbing his wrists, holding them.

  “She had to have loved you. The pills and alcohol changed her. We both know that they can change a person.” He tells me, using his thumbs to rub my cheeks. “You know I was two when my dad died. My mom met the asshole and you know, maybe he wasn’t an asshole at first. Maybe that’s why my mom loved him to begin with. But, some years after my half-brother came along, I can remember him changing. I was super little, but you don’t forget, you know?”

  I nod, “I know exactly what you mean. I still remember some stuff like it just happened yesterday and it’s been…Jesus…a decade, maybe more. She got worse in my teens. It’s not like I was a bad kid. I did what kids do, snuck out to be with friends, came home late, and failed a test or two. I never did drugs, never drank. I had dreams that I wanted to fulfill, but that wasn’t good enough for her. The bad outweighed anything good I ever did.” I sniffle a moment and recall a few moments in particular that had been the worst on me with my mother. Not something any sixteen-year-old should experience, that’s for damn sure.

  “Princess, it’s alright. I’m right here.” I feel his arms wrap around me as he buries his nose in my hair.

  “She was abusive. That’s why I say she must've not loved me,” I feel a tear slip down my cheek. “She was so awful to me. How could any mother treat their own child like that?” I feel myself whimper and choke up as I grab onto him.

  “I’ve got you,” he tells me, “that’s all done. It’s in the past now, princess. She can’t hurt you ever again. I won’t let her, even if she tries.”

  I pull away to look at him and feel the tears hitting me hard. I can’t stop them even though I am attempting to force them in. I keep trying to catch my breath as I stare at River. I feel my shoulders shake slightly as he uses his thumbs to wipe away the tears.

  “I’m here, princess. Daddy is right here.”

  I can’t think, I feel like I can’t breathe.

  “Princess, you’re safe. I’ve got you. Just me and you.” He says softly, touching my face.

  I make another face and purse my lips hard.

  “I’m right here, I’m not letting you go.” He says very softly. “If you need to let it out, let it out, princess. I’ve got you.”

  I feel more tears slip down my cheeks. “I was sixteen. I snuck out with friends for a concert.” I suck in a deep breath. “She caught me.” I take a few more deep breaths. “She beat me with wire clothes hangers.”

  “Oh, God…” He traces the line of my jaw with his thumb. “Oh, princess. I'm so sorry. You didn't deserve that.”

  I whimper for a moment and throw my arms around him. I don’t know what to say or what else to do. I need him. I just need to him to make me feel safe like he promised he would. “Daddy…” My voice trails off as I sniffle and bury my face in his neck.

  “Daddy’s right here baby,” he tells me rocking me from side to side. “Daddy’s right here,” he repeats softly as he strokes my hair. “I’m right here. I’ve got you.” I feel his hand rub my back as he shushes me softly. “Breathe for Daddy. Nice deep breaths.” He tells me in my ear. “I want you to relax. Just breathe. The past is done. Daddy has you now.”

  I do as I’m told, taking a few deep breaths as I continue to lean into him. I’ve always had issues when talking about my mom, which is why I so often confided in Kade. But I’ve never been anything like this. Here River and I are just beginning our relationship and I cut loose like this. I pull away slowly and he tenderly touches my face. “Oh, River, I’m so sorry.”

  He shakes his head. “Never say sorry to me, princess. I promise you, no matter what I'll take care of you. I want you to promise me something, alright?”

  I give him a little nod as he wipes my cheeks free from the tears.

  “Whenever you need me, for anything, it can be a bad day, your mom, it could even be a good day. If you need to talk, vent, cry, anything, I want you to come to me and say “I need my Daddy,” can you do that for me, princess?”

  I give him a little nod.

  “That’s my good girl
,” he says, wiping my cheeks again and blindly reaching between us, retrieving a bottle of water. “Here, have a few sips,” he tells me, pulling away just enough to push it tenderly in my hands, “then take some more deep breaths for me. Control them, in very slowly and out just the same.”

  I sniffle and bring the bottle to my lips to have a drink and then take long, slow deep breaths

  He leans across me and reaches into his glove compartment, digging for a moment and then presenting me with a Hershey kiss. “Here, princess, eat this for Daddy.”

  I give him a funny look but open my mouth as I’m told for him to place it on my tongue.

  “In case your sugar dropped, I don’t want you to get sick.”

  I nod as I suck on the chocolate and savor the flavor for a moment.

  “Try to let your shoulders relax for me.” He says, “Keep breathing.”

  I do as I’m told, finally swallowing the chocolate and having another drink of water.

  “Do you feel better, princess?” He asks, lifting my chin with his fingers.

  “Mhm,” I hum. “Thank you, Daddy.”

  “There’s no need to thank me for caring for you.” He smiles. “I just want to make sure that you're feeling better. That’s all that matters right now.”

  “I am, really. Sometimes it really sneaks up on me, but it’s never happened like that before.” I admit. “I felt like it smacked me like a sack of bricks.”

  “And, that’s alright. You just needed a moment. Daddy was right there.”

  I smile slightly. I'll give him one thing, he’s incredible with this care thing. It seems like something I could definitely get used to for some reason. For as rough as he can be in his little dark room, he can be so tender and caring. It’s surprising to me and I admit that I do like it. What woman wouldn't, to be quite honest, want to be babied and cared for? And that is coming from me, Miss Wild Independent. I have another drink of water and close the bottle. I let out a sigh. “I must look awful now.”

  “You look stunning.” He tells me, pushing my hair back.

  I feel myself blush. “You’re really good at this whole Daddy thing. For as rough and sexual as you are in the dark room, you can be so gentle.” I let out a little laugh. “I’m amazed to be completely honest with you. I really like it.”