HATE ME: a bad boy romance novel

by Jaxson Kidman

  “Davis…”

  He leaned in. I thought he was going to kiss me. Thankfully, he didn’t even try.

  “The dream is still there, Violet,” he whispered.

  I had no idea what Davis meant or what was happening.

  But I suddenly felt like I was in trouble.

  Davis sat on the couch with a glass of scotch. He drank a little and put it down on the table. He undid another button on his dress shirt.

  I leaned against the giant archway to his parent’s living room. They were really cool pocket doors where you pressed a little metal button and piece of metal shot out. You then hooked your finger into it and pulled the door from the wall.

  “She’s gone,” Davis whispered.

  “I’m really sorry,” I said.

  I saw Nona, but she was sleeping. I took her hand, said goodbye to her. She then squeezed my hand back. I stayed for a few minutes and then had to leave. Davis begged me to come back to the house with him. Five minutes into the drive, the call came that she had let go and passed.

  His parents were staying at the house. I just wanted to go to my parent’s house, but I didn’t want to leave Davis alone right then.

  “I don’t know why it bothers me,” he said. “She never liked me.”

  “Don’t say that.”

  “It’s true. She only liked me when I was with you.” He stood up. “Oh, she was so nasty to me when we broke up. And even when she met Ana. She hated Ana. Everything I warned you about Nona came true with Ana. You know more than once Nona looked at me and told me that Ana wasn’t good enough? She wasn’t you, Violet.”

  “I guess that doesn’t matter now, does it?” I asked. “At least Nona can be in peace. And you…”

  Davis shook his head. “No.”

  “No, what?”

  “You’ve been following my posts online?”

  “No,” I lied. “I… I mean, I saw things here and there. I saw that you got engaged. That’s really…”

  “It’s off,” Davis said.

  Then there was silence. A very dead and cold silence.

  “It was a stupid thing anyway,” he said. “I got caught up in the future.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked.

  “I was up for a promotion at my father’s firm. Ana and I were having some issues. So we went away for a weekend. It was such a good weekend. I had bought her a ring months before and brought it with me. She found the ring by accident. The weekend had been so good, though, I didn’t want to tarnish it. The second she saw the diamond she heard wedding bells. So I proposed. Not that I didn’t love her. I just… we just weren’t meant to be… you know?”

  I nodded. “I’m sorry, Davis. That’s terrible.”

  “What about you, Violet? You’re going to be rich and famous soon, huh?”

  “Why?”

  “Your app.”

  “How did…”

  He smiled. “You weren't the only one snooping on the past. It was so good with us, wasn’t it?”

  “Not at the end, Davis. That’s how relationships go.”

  “No, that was all my fault. I lost myself for a little bit.”

  “You found other women.”

  Davis sighed. “I wish I never did that to you. I wish I never put that kind of pressure on you. It was stupid. It was wrong to do. I played sports and all the guys ever did was talk about who they fucked over the weekend. It was hard for me to walk around the halls in school and see those girls, you know? Knowing they were willing… but you… weren’t.”

  “We’re not in high school anymore, Davis,” I said. “So it doesn’t matter. I’m actually really happy.”

  “I’m not,” Davis said. “Everything I wanted fell away from me. And seeing you right now just makes that hit home even harder.”

  “Davis, you’re drinking. You’re upset. I’m willing to stay here for a little while, but that’s it.”

  “Are you still a virgin?” he blurted out. Then he waved a hand. “Shit. I shouldn’t have asked that. That doesn’t matter. Dammit.”

  My mouth was dry. I licked my lips. “Maybe I should go.”

  “No,” Davis said. “Let me try and explain things.”

  “You don’t have to do that.”

  “Please, Violet. Please.”

  I stepped into the living room and sat down on a chair.

  Davis stood. “My father had a couple of affairs when I was in high school. When we were together, Violet.”

  “What?”

  “That was part of the reason my mother left her job. He felt she wasn’t around enough. She wasn’t a wife. And my mother took it to heart. She left a good paying job to make my father happy. To basically be his servant so he wouldn’t fuck other women. And it wasn’t like he was fucking some twenty year old secretary either.”

  “I didn’t know that,” I whispered.

  “So all around me, at that time, it was lies, sex, pressure. I guess I put some of that on you. I’m really sorry about that.”

  “Don’t. We were young. We got over it, right?”

  “Did we?” Davis asked.

  Silence fell again. He stared at me.

  I didn’t say a word. I didn’t need to tell him that I spent years wondering what had really gone wrong. Spent years down on myself and losing time with other men that could have given me some fun, some pleasure. Yet, it all climaxed when I met Mason.

  “I don’t think we did,” Davis whispered. “You know, Nona was right.”

  “Meaning?”

  “Ana wasn’t you,” Davis said. “After you, I tried to find you. Not you, the person, but someone just like you. Even my parents busted my balls about it. They always called my girlfriends Violet Jr… Seriously. So when I met Ana, she was the opposite of you in every way. And it just worked. It was like a bandage to my heart for a little while.”

  I shook my head. “Davis, I don’t understand any of this. You hurt me.”

  “You left, though. I never got a chance to talk to you.”

  I swallowed hard. “You slept with some random people. You ruined our future. I had to do what was best for me. I had to get away from you. I wasn’t going to be pressured or forced, Davis. And what would have stopped you from doing it again?”

  “Nothing,” he said. “You’re right. At that time, I was a total asshole. Complete and total asshole. You want to know something true? From the bottom of my heart?”

  No. I don’t want to know a fucking thing about you, Davis.

  I slowly nodded.

  Maybe this was the closure that had eaten at me for so long.

  “If I could go back I wouldn’t have done it,” Davis said.

  “Bullshit,” I said.

  “No, listen to me. All the women I slept with… it meant nothing. I felt what I felt, but nothing else. And I couldn’t stop thinking about you, Violet. What we could have had if I didn’t fuck it all up. You and me together. Me, your first. You, my first. Then going to college together. Getting married. A house. Kids. Just everything. And I can never take that shit back. But I would. In a heartbeat.”

  Davis crouched in front of me. He touched my face. His fingertips tracing along my jaw.

  I could smell the scotch on his breath.

  “It could be right again,” he whispered. “Time has a funny way of doing things you never thought possible. Look at this moment. You’re in this living room. You’re with me. We’re staring at each other. We want to kiss. Right?”

  My lips quivered.

  Before I could answer, the doorbell rang.

  Davis looked back and I took my opportunity to stand up and put distance between us.

  Davis went to the door and opened it.

  “Hey there,” Davis said.

  “Hey,” a voice said.

  The voice shot through my gut and heart at the same time. I dove from the living room to the foyer.

  “Is…” the voice started to say, but stopped.

  Our eyes met.

  My jaw hit the floor.
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  It was Mason… holding a bouquet of beautiful flowers…

  31

  Better Off

  (Mason)

  I only did the flowers at the door surprise thing once in my life. It was a fucked up time, fucked up situation, and did not go as planned. Kate took the flowers from me, but she didn’t give me her heart in return. She kissed my cheek and sent me packing. Not that I could blame her for doing that to me, but it stung. And that sting resonated inside me as I scrambled to find Violet.

  I went to her parent’s house and Hank answered the door with a big grin. Barb said she was at Davis’ house. Just hearing that punk’s name made me want to break his neck. I told Violet’s parents that I needed to talk to her. It was important. They gave me the address and Hank followed me out to the porch.

  “Mason, look at me,” he said.

  “Yeah?”

  “I didn’t want to say anything in front of Barb,” he said. “You go over there, you save her. You take care of my little girl. She’s the only one I have. And be careful with that asshole, too. His parents are real shitheads. Now, I know his mother makes great bean dip and all, but the father? He’s a lawyer. Tread lightly.”

  “Will do, Hank,” I said. “I love her. Just so you know. And it’s all…”

  Hank pointed to my truck. “Time’s wasting.”

  I hurried off the porch and got into my truck and took off.

  Of course his house was only five minutes away. That’s how the small town bullshit worked. That five minute drive took me to a fancy development. Big houses with lots of windows. Luxury cars in every driveway. The allure of the rich life.

  I pulled into the driveway that had Violet’s car parked there.

  I grabbed the flowers and knew what I had to do. Do what she did to me. Just barge right in and demand her heart.

  Simple.

  I walked to the porch and rang the doorbell.

  The door opened and I knew it was Davis from the picture on Violet’s computer.

  “Hey there,” he said.

  “Hey,” I said. I thought about everything I knew about this prick. I wanted to deck him in the jaw. Just one punch. I shook the thought away. “Is…”

  That’s when Violet appeared. Her eyes big, jaw dropped. Her face turned red like she was caught doing something wrong. Her eyes were glossy like she had been on the verge of crying.

  There was an aura in the house that just felt wrong.

  “No,” Davis said. “My parents aren’t home. But I will take those.”

  Next thing I knew, the little fuck grabbed the flowers from my hand.

  “Who are they from?” he asked.

  “What?” I asked.

  “The flowers. There’s no tag. You know what? It doesn’t matter. We’re going to get bombarded anyway.” Davis turned and stuck his hand out. “Hey, sweetie, can you grab these?”

  Sweetie?

  I looked at Violet. She took the flowers from Davis. My hands were balled up tight. I heeded what Hank had said about Davis’s father being a lawyer. I already had enough legal shit on my back. Plus, there was a difference between fighting for someone and someone not wanting to fight back.

  Davis then dug in his pocket and took out some cash. He stuffed it into my hand and gave a nod.

  “Thanks,” he said. “Have a good night.”

  I looked at the money and back up at him.

  He thought I was a fucking flower deliveryman.

  Then the door started to shut.

  “Sweetie, let’s get them in some water and pick up where we left off.”

  I heard the words and then the door clicked shut.

  For a second I was paralyzed. The second time I tried to do the flower-at-the-door thing and the second time it blew up in my face.

  I should have kicked the door in and went after Violet, but she was home now. Right where she wanted to be. Right where she belonged. I had gotten what I wanted out of her.

  I put the money into my pocket and already had a plan in mind.

  Davis was buying me my first round. I’d buy the rest.

  Then someone would be chasing the demons away.

  Three drinks and she was melting into me like wax to a flame. She rested against my body as I threw my arm around her, claiming her as my mine. At least for the night. What the fuck was her name? Mary? Megan? Marcy? It didn’t matter one bit. What mattered was that she was on her fourth drink. I was nowhere near her in terms of drinking, but that wasn’t the game here. The game was to bring her home and forget about Violet.

  That’s how it would work.

  Back to square one.

  Just like Violet had said in her letter.

  We could have our playtime if we wanted. If not, whatever. I’d have my headboard pounding so hard against the wall, she’d need noise canceling headphones to try and sleep. I’d make women’s screams echo through the apartment so that the police would come, thinking someone was getting hurt.

  Fuck yes. That was how it was going to work. That’s how I was meant to live.

  I’d make Violet hate me.

  Shit, I planned on making the woman in my arms hate me.

  I hadn’t seen Violet since what happened at that prick’s house with the flowers. Not that I was really trying to find her. I went to the shop and stayed there. I crashed at Hunter’s place for a couple days until he kicked me out. Then when I went home there was no sign of Violet anywhere in the building. I’d find a way to get her to come out of her hole…

  The woman planted a kiss on my cheek and let out a groan.

  “What’s wrong, babe?” I whispered.

  “I don’t want to be here anymore.”

  “I haven’t wanted to be here for the last fucking hour,” I said.

  “You okay to drive?”

  “I had two beers. Last one was a while ago.”

  “Good. Because if you couldn’t drive we were going to sneak into the bathroom.”

  “That’s romantic,” I said with a grin.

  “Your dimples are cute.”

  She stuck a finger into one and twisted.

  I grabbed her wrist and pulled her away.

  “Hey!” she yelled. “What was that for?”

  I didn’t know why I did that. I wasn’t in a relationship with Violet. I owed her nothing. She owed me nothing. She was better off without me. And I was going to seal the fucking deal.

  “Don’t touch my face,” I said.

  “Why not?” she asked.

  “Because that’s not where my cock is.”

  “Let’s get out of here,” she said.

  I stood up and threw some money on the bar. More than needed, but my eyes were locked to hers.

  Yeah, I was thinking about Violet. And I was going to think about Violet when I fucked this woman. Eventually, though, Violet would simply disappear.

  Trust me, once she came home and heard me fucking some woman, it would smooth it all over.

  Hating me was so much easier than loving me.

  32

  What Did You Do?

  (Violet)

  I was still in shock when Davis shut the door and I was holding flowers meant for me. Mason had driven all the way here to give me flowers? How did he find Davis’ house?

  Davis touched my arm. “No card. Figures. People are going to be coming from every direction now. Wanting a piece of Nona’s pie. I’m sure she has that already figured out down to the damn penny though. Hey, are you okay, sweetie?”

  I stared at the flowers.

  Mason had made a move. And I had stood frozen.

  I dropped the flowers and ran to the door. I tore it open and looked out. Mason was already gone. I stepped out on the porch and Davis was right behind me. I felt his hands slide around to my hips. His lips tried to touch my neck.

  I wiggled and spun around. “What are you doing?”

  “Fixing this,” Davis said. “We have the entire house to ourselves. We can pick up where we left off. Make it right.”

 
“Sex?”

  “Togetherness.”

  “I don’t want to be together with you. Ever.”

  “What?”

  “You hurt me. You really hurt me.”

  “I know. I’ll make it all up to you. Just come inside again. Let’s finish talking. See where it all ends up.”

  Everything was shaking. I wanted to kick Davis in his balls.

  “This is never going to work,” I said. “You and me. How can it?”

  “Because we’re meant to be together,” Davis said. “You’ll see that.”

  “Davis, I have to go home. I have to fix everything that’s wrong.”

  “Start right here,” Davis said. “You don’t need to run again, Violet. I’m a different person. I’m a man now.”

  I shook my head. “No. I’m not listening anymore.”

  “It was your fault,” Davis threw at me. “You put the pressure on yourself. And you put the pressure on me. You made me feel not good enough.”

  “What?”

  He was trying to turn everything onto me. Make it all my problem.

  “You know exactly what I mean, Violet,” he said. “You dangled that over me for a long time. Telling me you wanted to, but that you were afraid. That you weren’t sure. That you wanted to talk to friends. And I stood there and stuck it all out. All my friends were getting laid, fucking anything they could get. But I stood there.”

  “Until you fucked someone,” I said.

  “I slipped and I told you I regret it.”

  Time was wasting. Mason was getting more and more away from me. Standing there talking to Davis wasn’t going to fix a thing with Mason. Yet, I couldn’t walk away. There was so much left to say to him.

  “Good for your regret,” I said. “And for the record, no, I’m not a virgin. So you don’t get to ever enjoy that feeling.”

  “I don’t care about that,” Davis said. “Just come inside. We can do this.”

  “No we can’t,” I said.

  That was it. I was done. Completely and officially done with him. I smiled even. I looked right at Davis. I nodded.

  “What?” he asked.

  “I’m really sorry about Nona passing,” I said. “But this… never.”