by Cydney Rax
“Thank God,” she said. “Daddy’s home.”
Ajalon Cantu was her “Clyde” and she was his “Bonnie.” The bond they’d shared and the influence he’d had on Nicole could never be broken. His love always felt so intoxicating, and right now she needed to know that a man was in her corner.
As she stood in front of his door, anticipating the look on his face when he saw her, she recalled how good he was at convincing her to do things she did not want to do. It was the way that he talked, the confident way he carried himself. She knew that she, in turn, would have to convince him to help her, just like she had helped him.
It was a cool, breezy night in the middle of autumn. They were at their home in Alabama, kicking it. Ajalon sat on the couch with his legs spread wide open, his big feet lazily perched on top of the coffee table. The volume of the TV was high, and Nicole was content to sit next to her man with her head leaning on his shoulder. A call came through on Ajalon’s phone. Once he ended the conversation, he looked at Nicole.
“C’mon, Bella,” he said to her. “Come take a ride with me.”
“Okay,” she said, instantly springing to her feet. “Where are we going?”
“Just trust me. Can you do that? Can you trust me to protect you?”
“You’re so adorable it’s unreal,” she told him. And they were off. Ajalon took the wheel and drove away from the safety of their home, venturing toward a place unknown. They laughed and joked during the ride. She noticed how often he checked his rearview mirror, yet he managed to remain cool and calm.
After they’d traveled less than thirty minutes, he pulled up in front of a two-story flat, and asked her to wait in the car. She told him she would. She let him know that she was hungry, though, so he had to hurry.
“It won’t take long. I promise.”
Ajalon looked in every direction before exiting the car. Nicole studied him as he walked up to a strange man who was standing on the porch. They greeted one another, then quickly exchanged items. She saw Ajalon slide some cash in his pocket. The two guys laughed and talked for a minute. Then the guy abruptly left, rushing through the doorway and slamming the door shut.
Ajalon returned to the car, whose engine was still running. “Told ya I wouldn’t be long. Now, let’s go eat.”
He didn’t say another word. They drove off in silence. And deep inside she realized he was taking care of his business. Trash and discarded debris lined the street. The neighborhood looked old and neglected. A dozen young men hung out on the corner in front of an ancient-looking liquor store. To Nicole, it seemed like the guys had nothing but time. She never wanted her man to be like one of them.
Nicole shivered and pulled a sweater over her shoulders. “Hurry. Run that red light, don’t even stop at that intersection up ahead.”
“I-I got to stop,” he told her in a nervous voice. He was looking at his rearview. She turned and looked behind her. Saw the patrol car that was now directly behind them. She froze in her seat, feeling hot now instead of cold. Nicole understood why there were times when you couldn’t run a red light. They stopped at the corner, obeyed the law, and looked the part of good, law-abiding citizens.
The light turned green. Ajalon slowly drove through the intersection. Maintained his speed until the cop followed behind them for a block, then made a left at a darkened street, then went on its way.
She sighed in relief.
“I never want to go through that again. Don’t put me in any more dangerous situations. You hear me?”
“I hear you,” he said. And she could’ve kicked herself for agreeing to accompany him, agreeing to go along with activities that made her uncomfortable and then angry. But Nicole loved Ajalon. And though she did not like what he did, she knew that what had just transpired could happen again. The things that we tend to despise can somehow repeat themselves and make us question ourselves.
During that time of her life, Nicole felt conflicted. She knew Ajalon sold dodi weed and Crissy or glass, the street names for crystal meth. Nicole always felt nervous about what he did, but she went along with it as long as he kept her out of his plans.
Back then she told him, “As long as you know what you’re doing, I guess it’ll be alright.”
“I know what I’m doing,” he assured her. Since she refused to accompany him anymore, he’d go on drug runs by himself. Nicole would wait at home and feel scared to death that he’d get caught one day.
“I’m too smart to get caught.”
“That’s the same thing that the last man said, yet he still got arrested.”
Ajalon simply laughed and asked her to trust him. But trusting the man she loved was risky.
There was something intoxicating about Ajalon and this was why she found herself being drawn back to him years later. She stood there on the landing outside of his apartment in Houston, seconds away from knocking on her ex’s door. She could have left right then. She could have told herself to leave and stick with her promise to never become involved with him again.
For the memories we leave behind should serve as a warning to leave some people alone. And just before Nicole decided to knock on his door, she recalled how dangerous it felt for her to love him.
Nicole and Ajalon were in Birmingham at his friend’s Hosea’s apartment. The two lovers were sprawled on the couch, kissing and feeling each other up. He massaged her breasts until her nipples grew as hard as pebbles. She teased his neck with kisses until he begged her to let him make love to her. But she told him she had to use the bathroom. She hopped to her feet and told him she’d be right back . . . Hosea was standing on the second-floor balcony so he wouldn’t have to witness Ajalon getting it on with his girlfriend.
While Nicole was hidden away in the bathroom, she found a magazine to read. Meanwhile, she heard a commotion outside the bathroom door. There was shouting and strange voices. It sounded like something big and hard was being thrown against the walls. Fear gripped her heart. She set aside the magazine and was afraid to flush the toilet. But she pulled up her underwear and waited. When it grew eerily quiet, she cautiously opened the door and took a peek. From where she stood, she could see several uniformed police walking back and forth in the living room where she’d just been. She heard the sounds of ringing telephones, shouts, and people talking excitedly. Some were placing drug paraphernalia in clear plastic bags. Nicole quickly escaped down the hall. She ran into Hosea’s bedroom and quietly locked the door. She looked around. There was nowhere to hide. He only had a mattress laid out on the floor. The sounds of footsteps approached Hosea’s room. Fearing for her life, Nicole ran over to the window. She undid the latch and raised the window. She climbed out of the window and forgot to close it. She was now on Hosea’s balcony with a view of a wooded area. Nicole climbed over the metal railing and jumped. She landed and hurt her ankle. She rose to her feet and limped away until she was able to reach the side of the apartment. By then Ajalon and Hosea were in handcuffs and being led away by two state troopers. She was shaking terribly. But she remained there, unseen, watching her man being taken from her. And when Hosea and Ajalon were eventually charged with the selling of controlled substances, Nicole felt guilty as hell. She knew she could have been arrested, too. That’s why Ajalon always reminded her that because of him she had her freedom and could pursue her dreams.
And now that her life was in shambles, Nicole knew she had to turn to Ajalon. She knew the love was still there, and maybe his love for her would be the only thing that could save her.
* * *
Nicole took a deep breath, pounded the door with her fists, and rang the bell.
“Hey, Ajalon, it’s me. Open the door.”
The Drake song that shook the windows stopped playing.
The door swung open. Her ex stood before her, an amused smile stretched across his face. His dark eyes lit up.
“My Bella escaped from her dream world and is now standing in front of me in real life.”
She rushed into his arms and presse
d her lips against his neck.
“Ciao, Ajalon.”
Nicole loved being back in Ajalon’s arms. He hugged her warmly, and it was as if they’d never parted. He stood back and observed her.
“Nicole, I am surprised to see you standing here. I thought your knight in shining armor had kidnapped you forever. In fact, I was tempted to return to Birmingham. But something compelled me to stay.”
“Was it love?”
“Love is the best reason to wait for you.”
“Well, whatever the reason, I’m glad you didn’t go back.”
“Me, too. Because even though I had my doubts, something told me that one day we’d see each other again. I’d bet my life on it.”
“You’re just too damn confident, Ajalon.”
She laughed and stepped inside the apartment. She quickly closed the door. “I honestly didn’t think I’d see you again. But things have changed. And that is why I’m here.”
Nicole lowered Emmy to the floor, but then picked her up and placed her on the sofa. She handed her daughter a sippy cup filled with a beverage that would soon cause the girl to fall asleep. Nicole didn’t want the baby to hear what she was about to say. It was too risky, especially since Emmy liked to repeat words that she heard.
Ajalon also took a seat on his sofa. It had been a good six months since they’d seen each other.
“Ajalon, have you been working out?”
“Oh, you noticed.”
“I notice everything about you.”
He blushed and told her how he would lift weights and do push-ups every day in his apartment complex’s workout room; increasing his strength as if he was preparing for a boxing match.
“Funny you should say that.”
Nicole watched Emmy drink from her cup. She waited ten minutes until the child closed her eyes and fell asleep. Then she turned to face Ajalon. He gave her a look of approval as his eyes scanned her body. She wasn’t showing a baby bump yet, and she looked good.
“My Bella did not forget me after all.”
“I could never forget you nor the fun we had.”
“It took you all this time to admit you missed what you used to have?”
“I guess. It’s funny how things work out. Because though you crossed my mind here and there, I honestly believed that I’d moved on with my life. What we had seemed like ancient history.”
He told her that he understood completely how she felt.
“How is your new husband? Does he know you’re over here with me? I think I already know the answer. It doesn’t matter, though. You’ve always belonged to me. Always.” He suddenly stood up and pulled Nicole to her feet. He wildly swung Nicole around in his arms. He peppered her cheeks with quick kisses. She laughed and told him to stop, but when he refused to quit she didn’t mind.
With their faces drawn close, her lips soon found his. Nicole closed her eyes and let herself get lost once again inside the world of Ajalon Cantu. She moaned as they tongued one another, hungrily exploring each other’s mouths with sensual kisses. That old good feeling returned just that quick.
She came up for air as he let her down and she stood solidly on her feet.
“Babe, I just want to tell you I’m sorry how things played out, you know, back when I chose him over you. I-I think I made a mistake. Because right now he’s not acting like a good husband. I was crazy about that man. And I always thought that my loyalty would be rewarded.”
“What kind of loyalty?” he asked.
“The ride-or-die type of loyalty. The kind of woman who stays with her man even if he’s not doing her right. She stays, not because she agrees with his bad behavior but because she believes in him overall. Believes in his potential and his ability to get things right one day.”
“Hmm, funny that you should say that, Bella. As I recall, that is exactly what I wished you would have done for me back in Alabama.”
She started pacing. “Here we go again. Why does it seem like everyone close to me wants to keep me glued to a time that is long gone? Birmingham this, Birmingham that. I cannot undo my past. I’m sorry, alright? Plus, I have much bigger problems that I’m facing as we speak.”
Ajalon looked concerned and decided to hear her out. “Come. Sit. Tell me all about it.”
Perched beside him, she began to explain at a rapid pace how her brand-new spouse was now demanding an annulment.
“He fussed at me and then filed on me. Ajalon. He blindsided me big-time.”
“I see.”
“We went through all this trouble to be together. It all feels like such a waste. Money. Moving. Everything.”
“You moved? Where?”
“From that dump where you found me last August, to my dream home, which I adored. I was finally living the life. But now he wants out, and I just moved into a place he picked out for me.”
“And can I have the address of this new place?”
“Let me write it down.” She found a sheet of paper and scribbled down her address.
“I’m scared, Ajalon. I will be on my own again. Rents in Houston are so fucking ridiculous. The price of food is out of control. Then there’s my car payment, student loans, everything.”
“Don’t let it stress you.”
“Ajalon, you know me. I hate feeling unstable. And it’s worse now that I have my daughter. What an awful situation he’s put us in. Yet it’s real. And the fact that I’m here with you right now? That’s crazier than real.”
“Hmm, I thought you were glad to be here with me right now.”
“Don’t get me wrong, I am glad. But I hate how I got to be here. In fact, it feels like I’ve been tossed into hell.”
He gave her a sad look.
“You don’t make me feel bad, babe. The man that I thought was good for me makes me feel bad.”
“I hate seeing you look so upset. You know how crazy I get when anyone makes you upset. What do you plan to do? Are you here because you want to get back with me again? Is that why you’re in my home, eh?”
Nicole hesitated. She cared about him, but she needed him for other reasons besides love and wild sex. But she didn’t want to hurt his feelings. She told him, “You know I’ve always loved you. I never stopped thinking about you. And yes, just like you told me last year, I, too, believe that we can make it this time. We have more in common anyway.” She paused as she carefully pondered her words. “Yet, of course, at the same time, I still have feelings . . . for my husband. Is that understandable? I-I was going to try and fight the divorce. And I will fight, in that I plan to take every dime from him that I can. But, Ajalon, getting his money won’t be enough.” Her voice dropped to almost a whisper. “I need something bad to happen to him.”
“Bad, eh? Such as a tragic accident?”
“Yes, a really bad accident. He can’t walk away from it and end up in a hospital. He can’t make it out alive.”
“Nicole, do you . . . do you understand what you’re saying?”
“Yes.”
“But why?”
“Because sometimes taking the fucking high road is the wrong way to travel. I don’t want to just let it go. Do you understand that people treat other people like shit all the time and get away with it? That’s not right. I don’t deserve it. I don’t.”
“Alright, okay, calm down. You’re angry and you have a right to be. But, Nicole. Think about it. You’re mad at him, but you also have his child.”
“I know. Yes, it’s crazy. But the things he’s intentionally doing to me are driving me crazy. So tell me something. Why do I have to think about our child when he obviously isn’t thinking about her? If he really cared about Emmy, no way he’d force us out of our home. If he really loved us, he’d put our needs above his, but no. Loving me isn’t on his mind. And because of that he needs to leave this earth . . . soon.”
Ajalon raised his eyebrows. “How is his ‘leaving the earth,’ as you say, going to happen?”
“I’ve been thinking. Construction site accidents happe
n all the time. In fact, he is recovering from a fall as we speak. It hurt him but it didn’t kill him. Next time he needs to go away in a coroner’s truck instead of an ambulance.”
“I see. Nicole, you don’t sound as if you love him. It sounds like hate to me.”
“I hate what he’s done. In fact, now that I think of it, it explains why Rashad was drunk on our wedding day. He had real bad jitters. Like he wasn’t sure he could go through with it. He drank like a fish and my man doesn’t even drink that much under normal circumstances. So yeah, he played me for a fool in front of everybody.”
She buried her face in her hands. “I’m too damn young to be divorced with a child. It makes me look ghetto.”
“You are ghetto. You just don’t know it.”
She side-eyed him. “Be serious. Life is so weird. You just never know what can happen. So, Ajalon, let’s talk about you. How are things going for you?”
“As you know, I quit my job at Eason and Son. After that I got more temp jobs here and there. Enough to pay rent but not much else.”
“So you’ve kept your hands clean, Ajalon? You ain’t messing around with drug dealers, are you?”
“No, Nicole. I’m straight.”
“Good. But jobs are tight and you can use some money, right?”
“Always.”
“Good. Because thankfully, I still have some cash on hand. I-I have enough to pay you to help me out.”
“What does that mean?”
“Ajalon, I will pay you twenty-five hundred to make something bad happen to him.”
“That’s a lot of money. I could use it, too.”
“So, what about it? Can you help me?”
He looked puzzled. “If you love me, why would you want me to do this? To commit a crime and potentially put my life on the line, just to kill your husband? What if something goes wrong? Does he have a gun?”
“I have one, but you definitely can’t use mine. He has one, too, but no, you couldn’t use that, either. You’re going to have to find your own weapon.”
