A Dream Forbidden

by Tracey H. Kitts

  "How did Mason find out?" I asked. I wasn't about to drop the subject, so he might as well answer all of my questions. I didn't take a threat to Dracula lightly and I'd already made up my mind that I would stay the rest of the day if I had to in order to get the whole truth out of him.

  "They knew we were associated and were showing up at The Dungeon in the hopes of capturing me. But Mason has ways of finding out things without people realizing what he is doing. He made an excellent spy."

  "How long have they been here?"

  "Three weeks and they are growing anxious."

  He moved behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist as he whispered in my ear, "I fear they would do you harm if given the chance, my angel. You take a great risk in coming to me. You are safer with the werewolf."

  I turned in his arms and rested my face against his chest. "But here I am."

  "Yes, here you are," he whispered.

  Several minutes passed. Dracula hugged me more tightly and rested his chin against the top of my head.

  "Stay with me tonight," he said softly. "It is the full moon, you will not be missed."

  To my discredit, it took longer than it should have for me to say, "I can't."

  He sat back down on the cushion and looked at the floor. His hair still covered his face, but the side I could see was obviously disappointed. And I could tell he had misinterpreted my reasoning.

  I walked over to the vampire and hugged him to me. With him sitting down, he was at chest level, and I kissed the top of his head while I explained, "It has nothing to do with your face. It's the one I'll see in the mirror that concerns me."

  "I understand," Dracula said as he rose to his feet. "Come, I will show you out." He paused to read my expression. "That is unless you wish to stay?"

  His comment let me know that he'd read more than my expression.

  "No," I said softly, "I should go. I didn't even tell Alek where I was going."

  "Let the wizard wonder," he said.

  He took one step toward me, completely closing the distance between us. The scent of his cologne rose to meet me as I looked up at him. His emerald eyes glowed with magic and the promise of many wicked things. Even with half of his face covered, he was the most ravishingly handsome being I had ever met. His beauty was different than Marco's rugged manliness. Though beautiful isn't a word which describes most handsome men, it was the first word that came to mind as I looked at him that afternoon.

  How much more would he tempt me? Because I wasn't sure how much more I could take.

  "No, Vlad take me back up," I said with much more conviction than I felt.

  "As you wish." With these words he bowed slightly and I followed him back out of the bedroom.

  We didn't speak as we made our way back to the surface, but he held my hand the whole time. The only exception was when he had to navigate the boat. I hardly noticed he was holding my hand until he let me go. Dracula was so much a part of me that I didn't notice him some times until he was gone. He lead me back a slightly different way. I hadn't known there was more than one tunnel out, but apparently I had a lot to learn. We were underneath the trap door to his office at the theatre when I was nearly paralyzed with fear. Cold stabbing pains ran through my body and I clung to him.

  "What is wrong, my angel?"

  I couldn't express it. I was suddenly terrified of what would become of me if Dracula was taken from my life. They couldn't kill him. What kind of life would I have if he was gone? I suppose I had thought he was untouchable before then. But what if he wasn't? The thought was too horrible to entertain. He had been a part of my life since I was sixteen years old, ever since I first dreamed about him. It didn't matter that I had never laid eyes on him in person until a few months ago. He was a part of me. He was mine, and God help anyone who tried to take him from me.

  I took his hand and ran it up my shirt, pressing his palm against my heart. The pain in my chest was just as real as if my heart was being torn out. I knew then that Marco was everything I had ever wanted, but Dracula was everything I had ever needed. Since he first spoke to my great, great grandfather, he was destined to be a part of my life. And from the first moment I laid eyes on him, so was Marco. I couldn't live without either of them. I dropped my shields and let Dracula feel all of this.

  "You would die for me," he whispered in astonishment.

  Tears slid down his face as he withdrew his hand.

  "I should never have told you," he said. "If I had known …"

  "You can't stop me from dying for a worthy cause."

  "And you find my life worthy?"

  I could tell by the tone of his voice that he was truly amazed at the thought of anyone being willing to die for him.

  "Yes," I whispered fiercely, "You are mine, and I protect what's mine."

  He didn't bother to correct me or to insist that he could protect himself. Instead he helped me through the trap door and walked me to the front of the theatre. I cried all the way home. It was late afternoon by now, and when I walked in I explained to Alek what had happened. He poured us both a cup of tea and I continued to cry. I wasn't sniffling or sobbing, but tears kept spilling from my eyes while I spoke of Dracula's assassins. They had come to murder someone I loved, and they would either accomplish that task or die trying. They'd better be ready to die.

  * * * *

  After talking to Alek, I ascended the stairs and prepared myself to do something I had deliberately been avoiding. I took Mathias's journal from the shelf and opened it. He told me once that I would "turn to these pages many times and find wisdom that was not here before." But when I opened the book, nothing was there. Nothing new anyway.

  I put the journal beside me and prepared to meditate. Mathias had given me some meditations to practice in order to gain more control over my abilities. I followed his instructions and a staircase appeared before me. I saw along this staircase many colors that stretched upward and wrapped around the steps. The stairs I visualized looked very much like the stone steps leading down to the dungeon. As I approached the first step I looked down, and through my mind's eye saw my right foot with the dragonfly tattoo on the big toe. This was my way of visualizing me without detaching myself from the surroundings.

  The lower portion of the staircase was surrounded in a beautiful, almost jewel like red. I stepped into this red and let it embrace me. I breathed in the color and let my anger and frustration flow out of me. As usual, it took several deep breaths before I felt calm enough to continue.

  The red faded into a beautiful orange that I passed through next, followed by a magnificent sunshine yellow that I stopped to breathe in as well. The yellow became a green which spilled over into a blue and from there a glorious purple. The purple gave way to a blinding white, beyond which there was a garden. This was my safe place, the place in my mind that I went to in order to practice my skills, to release my worries, and if possible, heal my heart.

  The garden was awe inspiringly lush and vibrant. The plants never stopped growing. Flowers bloomed before my eyes as if in fast motion, and vines continued to spread while I walked across them. It wasn't long before I was inside what I called "my room" and I heard Mathias's voice echoing in my head.

  "What has happened?" he asked.

  Without preamble I began to tell him what had been going on. I knew I was talking too fast, but my speech matched my heartbeat. I was desperate to find a way to help Dracula save not only his face, but his life.

  When I was finished Mathias said, "So, I see the vampire's love is returned."

  During our last conversation he had informed me that I was not in any danger from Dracula because he was in love with me.

  "Yes," I answered.

  "And does he know you love him?"

  "I haven't said, but he knows I'm willing to die to protect him."

  "Well," he sighed. "If you would face death, then my suggestion may not sound so bad."

  "What do you suggest?" I asked.

  "Let me warn you, my c
hild, that what I am about to share with you does not come without a price."

  "What's the price?"

  "First, let me tell you the solution. Then you can decide if it is worthy of the cost."

  I knew before he spoke that I would do whatever was required, but still I listened quietly.

  "You recall the method used to heal the werewolf?" he asked.

  Mathias was referring to when I had healed Bade last summer. I had used my abilities to channel his desire. I literally pulled Bade's desire from him and used it to heal his body.

  "Yes, I remember."

  "This will require more than desire. Lust is all well and good, but what you are attempting to correct is permanent. Whatever heals it must be equally as final."

  "Final?"

  "You must use your love," he said softly.

  "My love? I don't understand."

  "If you chose to do this, you will find a way. You must use all of your passion, and his as well. Everything that you feel for him, everything that you have ever felt must be put into your touch. You must give all and take nothing for yourself."

  I was quiet for several minutes before asking, "But what about Marco? I love him."

  "That is the price. You must decide if it is something you are willing to pay."

  "And his life?" I asked about Dracula.

  "His life is quite literally in your hands, my dear. If it is something you cherish, keep it safe."

  "Why must there always be a price?" I cried as I broke contact.

  Mathias had asked the one thing I wasn't sure I could give up. When I swung my feet over the bed I knocked his journal to the floor. There is a hidden compartment on the back and it fell open, spilling its contents. I replaced the lock of Mathias's vibrant red hair and picked up the necklace. The necklace had a large pink stone encased in silver. The stone was rose quartz, and I had never found out its use. As I went to replace it I looked at the last page.

  "Use the necklace," it said.

  More words continued to appear as if written with an invisible hand.

  "Wear it when you make love to him, and it will aid in the healing."

  I was afraid that was going to be part of the price and Mathias' words had confirmed my fears. Sex with Dracula was wonderful, but Marco would never forgive me. And I would never cheat on him. I replaced the necklace and cried myself to sleep.

  * * * *

  Early the next morning I felt Marco's arms around me.

  "Red," he whispered. "Are you alright?"

  When I started to cry he asked, "Baby, what's wrong? Whatever it is you can tell me."

  After I calmed down a little I told him what Mathias had said. I love Marco, and I had promised myself a long time ago that I wouldn't lie to him. I didn't leave anything out. When I was finished Marco was very quiet. I was afraid of what he was going to say or do, but he spoke very softly, "Mathias said his life was in your hands. What did he mean?"

  "I don't know." I sniffed again, wiping tears. "But I'm not going to cheat on you. I can't do that to you."

  "But you can't leave him like that," he said reasonably.

  His voice was very soft, and the compassion he showed was killing me. I expected jealousy, rage, or even violence. But this heartfelt concern was doing me in.

  "What if you don't do it, and he dies?" he whispered.

  I hadn't thought of that. Just the suggestion made my heart stop. For a moment I felt so alone and I knew that losing Dracula would feel even worse than I could imagine. I leapt from the bed and was sick as soon as I reached the bathroom. My nerves always got the better of my stomach.

  ?

  Chapter Eight

  Marco handed me a damp washcloth as he knelt beside me.

  "If he dies because of your moral standards, is that something you could live with?" He paused before adding, "Because I can't live with knowing I kept you from saving him."

  "Marco, what are you saying?" I asked shakily.

  "But I can't give you my blessing either," he said helplessly.

  He was scaring me.

  "Marco, don't leave me," I pleaded.

  "I'm not going anywhere," he soothed. "You do what you have to do, and I'll try to find a way to live with it. Because I can't live with being the cause of his death."

  "And I can't live with being the cause of yours," I thought as I looked at his face.

  "I would never deliberately do anything to hurt you, Marco, you know that," I said as he hugged me to him.

  "I know, Red. You do enough by accident."

  Just when I was about to start crying again he said, "I will still be around. It may take me some time, but I'll be around. I knew this might happen when I first saw him." He sighed. "When I saw the way you looked at him … you can't decide who you love, Red. And I can't bring myself to hate him for wanting the same thing I do."

  "I was so happy." I cried, pressing my face against his stomach. "I love you, Marco, I swear I do. But I can't abandon him," I wailed. "I can't leave him if there's a chance that I could save him. I wish to God I could just walk away, but I can't."

  "Then don't," he said. "If anyone understands you, Red, it's me. Remember when I turned you down and you ended up spending the night with Dracula?"

  How could I forget? It was the first time the beast had overtaken me and I wasn't in the middle of a fight. I had lost control completely. The beast is only calmed by food, violence, or sex. I had just found out Alfred signed on to be my murderer as well as my partner, and I went nuts. Marco had to leave to save some members of the pack. People were dying and he still came running to my rescue, but he couldn't stay. He sent me home to eat something, but what I craved was waiting in my bedroom. That was the first and only time I had been with Dracula, but I wanted it to be Marco.

  "It was my fault," he said softly. "If I hadn't turned you down, you never would have gone to him. But if I had stayed with you, people would have died. People I care about. That was something I couldn't live with, and you and I seem to be living together just fine."

  It was then I realized how fortunate I was to have a man like Marco in my life. But I couldn't stop myself from asking, "What if this is something you can't live with?"

  "I'll try."

  After we had both showered he said, "When you find out more about these vamps you tell me, and if he needs the pack's help, you let me know."

  "I will."

  "In the meantime, Red, try not to worry. Things have a way of working themselves out. Even this."

  As stupid as it may seem, I felt better after his reassurance. Marco's voice has a way of making the world go away when I need it to, even if it's just for a little while.

  * * * *

  Friday night was Ms. Wilson's tea party. I had known her my whole life, and she would be very disappointed if I didn't attend. Not just because she would miss me, but because I was bringing Dracula. As it turns out, they had known each other a long time ago. Ms. Wilson had been in love with a vampire, and Dracula had saved her from being lynched along with her lover. She was willing to die for Eric, but Dracula wouldn't allow it. After a while, she understood and thanked him for saving her. Now, she was holding the tea party at night in order for him to be able to attend. The plan was originally to have the party two days after my birthday, but it had been postponed by the weather. A week later wasn't terribly off schedule.

  I wore a black dress that I suppose could have passed for a sundress, if there was any sun. The weather was warm enough that I could go sleeveless, even at night. I had let my short hair grow to the point of being shaggy. It hung in layers down the back of my neck and naturally flipped out a bit on the ends. My hair seemed even redder against the black. I was just putting the final touches on my makeup when I heard a knock at my balcony window.

  I opened the French doors and let Dracula in. My heart fluttered when I looked at him, and I avoided looking directly into his eyes. Not because he could hypnotize me, but because I was afraid of what he might see there. Eyes really are
the windows of the soul, and I wasn't ready to bare mine.

  He was wearing black slacks and a long-sleeved dress shirt. The top few buttons were left open to reveal his throat and part of his chest. The shirt was blood red and it suited him perfectly. He smelled of expensive cologne, and I noticed as he stepped behind me in the mirror that he was once again wearing a half mask to cover the right side of his face.

  Dracula put his hand on my waist as he leaned into me and took a deep breath.

  "You smell like vanilla," he said.

  His voice brushed across my skin almost like a cat and I shivered.

  "It's my soap."

  "Are you ready?" he asked softly.

  "No," I thought. I wasn't ready. Not to risk hurting Marco or to accidentally kill Dracula if I didn't take that chance.

  He put his hand underneath my chin and made me look at him. The kindness I found in his eyes was nearly too much for me.

  "Whatever it is," he said softly, "I will help if I can."

  "You can't," I said, turning around before I started to cry.

  If I told Dracula why I was upset, he would never let me go through with what I had in mind. He would never risk my happiness, even for his own life. But I would give my happiness if that's what it took to save him.

  Without another word, I took him by the hand and led him outside. The night was cooler than I had expected, but still comfortable. I welcomed the breeze as we got in his car. Dracula drove a sleek black car with silver accents. It was a classic model and positively reeked of expensive taste.

  After he got behind the wheel I asked, "Why did you come to the window when you drove to the front door?"

  "Melodrama," he said with a smile. "Besides, I was hoping you could appreciate the fact that Don Juan has finally reached your window."

  As his meaning sunk in I began to laugh, and it felt good. The rose that grew on my balcony was a climbing Don Juan, and I had been waiting years for it to grow tall enough to reach my window. Plus The Phantom (in the original French novel published in 1910 by Gaston Leroux) wrote an opera about Don Juan. How appropriate that Dracula should come to my balcony, just as the famous Don Juan had visited his lovers.