Shadows of the Lost Child

by Ellie Stevenson

  ‘Why should she be dead? The last time I saw her, she was leaving Curdizan and needed some clothes, but she had no money so I bought the necklace off her, to give her some cash. It wasn’t worth anything at all, of course, but I never said, Louise is so proud. I offered her some things from the jumble box, but she said they weren’t the type she needed. I don’t know what she meant by that.’

  ‘But wasn’t the necklace meant for Thomas?’

  ‘Yes, and he was going to get it, but I needed something I could say was from Wetherby, until he managed to buy me a ring. He’s always so busy.’

  I’ll say he’s busy, Miranda thought, stocking up silver in the crypt.

  ‘Thomas was always going to get it, eventually. I just needed something to wear for a while, but I’ve changed my mind, now, it doesn’t feel right.’ She passed the beads across to Miranda. ‘Here, have it, it’s Thomas’s now.’ Miranda took the necklace, reluctantly.

  ‘Did Louise tell you where she was going?’

  ‘No, she just said she was going away and needed some clothes and the money to buy them. It was obvious she didn’t want to part with the necklace, she said she’d meant to give it to Thomas. She asked if I’d tell him she was alright and not to worry, and I meant to do it, I really did.’ She frowned, looked down.

  ‘I just forgot, we were so busy, with the jumble sales and the soup kitchen and visiting the sick almost every day.’

  ‘While Tom’s been worried sick in the meantime, knowing she’s vanished and thinking she’s dead.’

  ‘Why would Thomas think Louise was dead?’

  ‘Because of the missing kids, Mary-Ann. Tom thought she might have been one of those, everyone thinks that Eisen’s behind it. I’ve told you before.’

  ‘But he’s not that sort of man, Miranda.’

  ‘So you’ve told me, but you don’t know very much about him, like what he’s been up to with Ben Tencell, not to mention your father.’

  ‘What do you mean, “what he’s been up to with Ben Tencell”?’

  ‘Wetherby Eisen and Ben Tencell, and your da, have been shifting church goods and selling them off.’

  ‘You’re joking,’ said Mary-Ann, looking pale. ‘Why would you say such a terrible thing?’

  ‘Because it’s true,’ Miranda told her. ‘I’m a friend of Ben’s, and he told me.’

  Chapter 80

  Then – Thomas

  So Eisen might be the one behind it, all those kids going missing from school, including Louise. Assuming what Alice had said was true. Just thinking about it made me feel grim. But what about the lad, Conrad Carson? He hadn’t disappeared, like we thought he had, he’d just been working for Pike on the sly. I wondered if Pike would hire a girl? There was always cleaning and laundry work. My brain was buzzing with all the effort.

  When I woke up the next morning, I felt really ill, a lot more than tired, hot and feverish, dizzy with nerves. I did my morning round as usual, but I couldn’t face going to school afterwards, or even working at the pub that night. And as for going home in the evening, facing Da’s wrath and Ma’s nagging, not on your life. So, later that day, I crept around and grabbed some food, choosing a time when I knew they’d be out and slept out under the stars again, it was getting quite mild and the fields were free. I’d done it before, I could do it again, it wasn’t that bad in good weather.

  This carried on for several days. I left a note at the pub of course, and also at home, I didn’t want Ma worrying about me, Da wouldn’t care, but I knew I needed to be on my own. After a break, I felt much better, but I still had to sort out the Eisen thing, discover what really happened to Louise. I’d have to talk to Alice, again. I went back home and wished I hadn’t. The house was piled to the sky with stuff.

  ‘What’s going on?’ I said, horrified.

  ‘We’re packing, my lad, what does it look like?’ My father looked happy, for once in his life.

  ‘For a holiday, maybe, or a trip to the seaside?’ He could have knocked me down with a feather. We’d never, ever been on holiday, or at least not one that I could remember.

  My da started laughing and couldn’t stop, he was sitting by the fire and reading the paper. The fire wasn’t lit and the paper was last week’s but Da didn’t care, at least he could read. A lot of the men round here couldn’t. I suppose I was lucky, having a da who knew how to spell, but I didn’t feel lucky.

  ‘You’re a hoot, Tommy lad, you should go on the stage. Since when have we had the money for trips?’

  ‘I’ve told you, Scotty, his name’s Thomas. Don’t call him Tommy, that sounds wrong.’

  ‘Your ma’s going all la-di-da on me, just because we’ve come into some money.’

  ‘Money?’ I said. ‘What money is that?’ I noticed my da was in a good mood.

  ‘Let’s just say we’ve come into some cash, a bit of cash, with more to follow, if we like. And I do like, Tommy, I like it a lot. So, your ma’s convinced me it’s time to move on, to somewhere bigger and in a better street. Nothing fancy, much like this, but not so rough and more room to spare. I’m not sure, but your ma’s the boss, I reckon she knows what’s right for us.’ I stared in amazement.

  Since when had Da ever called her the boss? I reckoned it must be a lot of money.

  ‘But what about your job at the laundry?’ I looked at Ma.

  ‘I’ll probably keep that on for a while, but your da’s giving up his job right now. It’s never been any good for his health and he’s planning to start his own business, now.’

  I doubted the drinking helped his health, but I wasn’t going to say so, not to his face. ‘So what’s this business?’ I said, curious. ‘I thought you only knew about flour.’ And stepped back quickly to avoid a clip.

  ‘It was when you got that job with Mason’s that put me onto it, as it happens. People will always need to eat veg and I can be my own boss for a change, instead of working for somebody else. You can join me, Tommy, we’ll have our own little family business, Islip and Son, that’s what we’ll be. I’m not talking about the future, you can start straight away.’

  You’ve got to be joking, I thought, grimly. I couldn’t think of a suitable answer.

  ‘Cat got your tongue?’ said my da, grinning.

  ‘I don’t want to live on another street. I like it round here, with all my mates.’

  ‘You’ll do what you’re told, Tommy, lad,’ said Da. ‘You can start by helping your mother to pack.’

  ‘I’m going to work,’ I told him, quickly. ‘Miranda’s expecting me down the pub.’

  ‘And that’s going to stop as well, when we leave. You can stick with the fruit and veg if you like, at least for a while, having an inside source will be useful, but the pub can go and the schooling too. You’re getting too old for school, I reckon.’

  ‘But it’s free,’ I said, with a catch in my throat, I could see the world as I knew it dissolving. ‘They feed me too and that saves money.’

  ‘You’ll be making plenty, once you’re with me, don’t worry about that and you’ll be far too busy to go to school. It’s time to grow up at last, Tommy lad.’

  ‘I’ve got to go,’ I said abruptly and ran for the door, as fast as I could. My throat was full, I could barely breathe, I’d been anxious before, but now I was scared. The thought of leaving the Low was terrible, Ben and Miranda, people I’d known and probably Alice, it was all too much for me to bear. And never knowing about Louise. I almost howled.

  As I made my way to the pub, my brain was working as fast as my legs. I knew I’d have to run away, but tonight, I’d do my job like a man. I wished I could stay a boy forever.

  Chapter 81

  Now – Aleph

  Sometimes, when things are really difficult, almost impossible, the only thing is to do is the next thing. Whatever that might be. I switched off the light and walked down the steps into the street.

  It was cold, no, sharp, it was one of those times when it feels like spring when the sun still shines but when ni
ght comes down there’s an icy chill and a cloudless sky. I turned up my collar and hunched myself deep as I could in my jacket. Walking around to the site of the church, I could almost see it, no longer there, but there in my head as sharp as could be, like it had been for real when I went to the past. I set the equipment on to record.

  I let the file run on for a couple of minutes, checked it was playing and sat on a bench and waited to see. Nothing happened. I heard an owl, or maybe some tourists and one or two people passed by and stared but I didn’t hear ghosts, I didn’t hear anything, not even a laugh. No doubt I seemed like a ghost to the tourists, a faded outline sitting on a bench, hidden in the shadows, or maybe they thought I was drunk or crazy. Or maybe, possibly, someone in shock. I still remembered Alice’s words.

  ‘The Sunday it happened, I was meant to be going round to Annerley’s house. That’s in Leverhulme, where we once lived. We were staying at a friend of mum’s, near Annerley’s.

  ‘I didn’t want to go round to Annerley’s. I thought she was boring and I wanted to have some time to myself. I had to pretend I was going, though, they wouldn’t have let me out go out on my own, not for so long. I should have told Annerley not to expect me, then they wouldn’t have caught me out. It was such a stupid mistake to make.’ Alice sighed.

  ‘I walked around the streets for a while, and then I met up with some kids from my school and stayed out longer than I’d meant to do, and when I realised what the time was, I thought I’d go home and make some excuse. It still wasn’t lunchtime but I was hungry, Mum always makes me get up early, even on a Sunday. I was walking home when the accident happened.

  ‘When I got back, still in shock, because of seeing the accident happen, the nightmare just got even worse. I’d known the boy who was killed, Daniel, he was my friend, and he should have been back at the house that I’d left, but he’d had been outside in the garden, playing, and they’d all gone out, looking for me. They’d left him there, free to escape. I felt so guilty.

  ‘By the time I got back, I’d been gone for hours, because after I saw the accident happen, I went to the park and sat and cried, I never guessed they’d been looking for me, I assumed they’d think I was still at Annerley’s. I couldn’t tell them what I saw, there was just no way. They asked me if I’d left the gate open, or maybe not put the latch back properly because that was how Danny got onto the street. But I said I hadn’t, I knew I hadn’t, and I think they believed me, they had to believe me, it was true, wasn’t it?’ She paused, then sighed and bit her lip.

  ‘Nobody knew just how he’d got out, and neither did I, because I knew I’d been very careful. But a few days later, my mum was saying she’d got in a panic when she’d learnt I was missing and had used the garden gate to go out. Instead of using the front as normal.

  ‘That was when I think it happened. Maybe she closed the gate behind her, but forgot to check that the latch was connected. It’s easy to do, I’ve done it myself, but I know I didn’t do it that day. She would have been in a hurry that day, thinking I was missing.’ Alice sighed.

  ‘What’s more, Aleph, I know I’m right, because when I came back, after seeing the accident, the latch wasn’t down, the way I’d left it. And the only person who’d gone that way, as far as I know, apart from me, and of course Daniel, was Mum.’

  ‘You never told her?’ I said to Alice.

  ‘How could I say? I put the latch back and closed the gate properly, without even thinking, I was too much in shock, and it was only later that I saw what it meant. So when she asked me if I’d shut it after I’d left, I told her, yes, and over again. I never told her, she was the one.’

  ‘That was brave,’ I said, softly, finding it hard to even speak.

  ‘It wasn’t brave,’ said Alice, defiant, ‘I had to do it, I had no choice. If Mum had known what she’d done that day, that she was the one who’d left the latch off, then she’d think she was a killer too.’

  Chapter 82

  Then – Thomas

  As I walked to the pub that night, my head was spinning with questions, decisions. I wasn’t going to leave my home, Curdizan Low was where I belonged. And how had my parents, always struggling, managed to find the money to move? And suddenly too, as if by a windfall. Maybe my da had been putting on bets, but no, the season had barely started. And drinking not gambling was his vice. It had to be something different from that. But what? I wondered.

  ‘You look fed up,’ Miranda told me. ‘And you’re late.’

  ‘Lots on my mind,’ I said to her, shortly.

  ‘A trouble shared…’

  ‘My parents are leaving Curdizan Low. They’ve come into money.’ Yes, don’t laugh.

  ‘What?’ said Miranda. Not very likely, is what she’d be thinking.

  ‘That’s what they said and they’re taking me with them. We’re going to live in a better street. Ma has already started packing.’

  ‘No,’ said Miranda, disbelieving.

  ‘Go round yourself, you’ll see it’s the truth.’

  ‘No, I believe you. Well, that’s odd.’

  ‘Odd’s not the word I’d use to describe it. How about tragic? I don’t want to go.’

  Miranda wiped the bar casually. ‘How did they manage to find the money?’

  ‘I wish I knew, I was thinking the same myself, before.’

  ‘The thing is, Tom,’ Miranda looked thoughtful, ‘you know those shoes, the ones in the trunks?’

  ‘As if I was ever likely to forget them.’

  ‘Well, you know they were going to sell the shoes on, your mother and mine? And Eisen told you some stuff had gone missing from the church, lately? Well, I was thinking, if the things that went missing, valuables mostly, were then passed on to a helpful person willing to sell them, and at the right price, wouldn’t that person have extra money?’

  ‘You mean like my parents?’

  ‘It’s possible, Tom, it could explain things.’

  ‘It’s just what my Da would do,’ I agreed. I knew I should be defending the man, or at least my ma, if I couldn’t defend him, but I couldn’t be bothered, not anymore. ‘What sort of goods are we talking about?’

  ‘Silver, cups and bowls mostly and a little bit of pewter, an assortment of things. The kind of goods that come from a church and would fetch a nice price, unlike the shoes.’

  ‘You’ve got to tell me who was involved, I won’t breathe a word, I promise I won’t. I need to know if my ma’s involved.’

  ‘Ben and Eisen and probably the vicar. No, scrap the probably, definitely the vicar. He gets it all from disused churches, or so Ben told me. The stock is stored in the crypt of the church. That bit’s right, I saw it in there. There’s masses of the stuff, you wouldn’t believe.’

  ‘Oh yes, I would, I’d believe anything, of Wetherby Eisen. But Ben and the vicar? Surely not. And passing the stuff to my ma and da? No, that’s wrong, they don’t even know them.’

  ‘Eisen said some goods had been stolen. Maybe they didn’t pass it to your parents, maybe your parents just took it, Thomas.’

  ‘Why would my mother go to the crypt? She’s never been in a church in her life, except perhaps when her parents died and she went to the funerals. And maybe not then, I couldn’t guarantee it.’

  Miranda polished the bar a bit more, and served a quick pint, chatted a little. I willed the customers away, quickly. She turned back to me.

  ‘Maybe she followed me into the tunnel.’ I must have looked blank.

  ‘When Alice and I went down the tunnel, you said Ben couldn’t get into his workshop. But I didn’t lock it and neither did Alice, I looked behind to check and make sure. Maybe your ma came along afterwards, locked it behind her and followed us all the way to the crypt.’

  ‘That doesn’t sound much like Ma to me,’ I said, doubtful.

  ‘People aren’t always what they seem.’

  Chapter 83

  Now – Aleph

  I had to tell Cressida what Alice had said. I didn’t want to
do it, of course I didn’t. So I delayed telling her until the next day. Hoping, I suppose, that Alice would tell her. Alice didn’t.

  ‘I know why Alice won’t talk,’ I said.

  ‘I’ll be round as soon as I can,’ said Cressida. Soon as she could was incredibly fast.

  ‘What’s that doing on the table?’ she said. Giving the recorder a filthy look, as if I was going to record her thoughts.

  ‘I’ve been trying to record the ghosts crying, with not much success so far,’ I explained. ‘I stayed in the courtyard until one in the morning, but I didn’t hear a single thing.’

  Cressida looked at me as if I was mad. You were the one who first saw Tom, I wanted to say. I poured out her coffee, she was going to need it. Out in the street, the rain poured down. Cressida looked more fragile than normal, if that was possible. God, I thought. Get on with it man.

  ‘Alice saw the accident happen, when the boy died. She told me she saw it.’ Cressida nodded and I rattled on.

  ‘She also told me, the child, Daniel, was playing in the garden, and she shut the gate when she left the house. But when she came back the latch was off, someone had used the gate since then, giving Daniel the chance to escape. She thinks it was you.’ I paused, briefly. ‘But she could be wrong.’

  Cressida’s face had turned grey as the rain, had sunk into shadows. ‘Alice must hate me, think I’m a killer, if that’s what she believes happened.’

  ‘No,’ I told her, ‘actually, Alice wants to protect you, wanted to stop you from blaming yourself. She thought if she spoke it would all spill out, and it almost did, a number of times, when she was angry. But it’s harder to blurt things out on a screen.’

  ‘But she couldn’t go on like that forever.’

  ‘No,’ I said, ‘and I think she’s finally realised that. She needs your help and support, Cressida. I know it’s terrible, what you’re hearing, but leaving the latch off, if you did, was just a mistake, a tragic error.’ Rather like mine, I thought, sadly.