Vatican Ambassador

by Mike Luoma

“They did need our ship. If you remember your history, the mag loop highway was inconvenient: orbit-to-orbit… but then what? And those bullet ships? I would hate to have to ride in one of those things! They were dangerous! Who would want to ride in something called a bullet, anyway?” he asks.

  “The soldiers used to say they were ‘spam in a can’ in those bullet ships,” Dell says with a quick laugh.

  “The military needed us to give them ships that would get their troops to Mars en masse. Besides dangerous, those bullet ships were proving to be too small and too slow for mass troop movements,” he tells BC. “They only wanted our Transpace Drive so they could move troops to Mars more efficiently.”

  “The military is remarkably short sighted,” Krish interjects.

  “Remarkably?” Dell opines, “I don’t think so. ‘Typically’ would be a better word. I expect the military to be short sighted,” Dell sniffs. “It may be the nature of what they do that makes them that way, I don’t know. Anyway, soon after they put Van Kilner back in charge, they began doing two wonderful things: They left us alone again and they gave us more money,” Dell chuckles.

  “Well, the military mostly left us alone, but they could almost taste the Transpace Ships. They knew we were almost there, too. Our first ‘working’ Transpace Ship disappeared during its first test in ‘82,” Dell remembers. “Lost forever. The second one exploded when we started up the Transpace Drive,” he says, and shakes his head. “But, as the saying goes, the third time was the charm.”

  “I still have no idea why the Transpace Drive works,” BC says. “But I thought it had something to do with being able to fold the space just between here and Mars.”

  “That’s still most people’s assumption,” Dell agrees. “That’s what the military assumed, and we never bothered to correct them. We let them assume it was localized, Earth-Mars only. The public went along with the military. But Transpace Drives are not limited to Earth-Mars runs. The drive compares two points in space and finds the shortest way between. It’s not really ‘folding’ space, like some have described it. It’s more like ignoring space entirely.”

  “Ah, quoting Van Kilner,” Krish observes.

  “That is one of Van Kilner’s favorite sayings about Transpace,” Dell concedes. “’It’s not folding space so much as ignoring it entirely,’ I do like that. The Transpace Drive pushes its ship down a different path than our linear time constrained reality.”

  “Sweet,” BC says, egging on the geeks. “So why stop at Mars…”

  “Indeed,” Dell agrees. “All we need for the Transpace Drive to work is a properly identified destination, no matter where that destination is. We just need a complete set of coordinates,” Dell explains. “We can use the Transpace Drive to ‘ignore’ space between almost any two points. There are limitations. We can’t use the drive too close to any gravity well. So most of our ship’s engines and fuel are dedicated to getting the ship up and out to a place where the Transpace Drive can be used, a safe point. That takes longer than the trip through Transpace does!” Dell says, chuckling again. “We need a complete set of coordinates to create a safe point to go to, and that can be a challenge. We went to Mars the old-fashioned way and jumped back here the first time, because we had a safe point well mapped out on this end of things. A few runs to Mars, we worked out the kinks and it was smooth sailing from there. We could get to Mars and back effortlessly after just a few tries,” Dell says.

  “We gave that tech to the military and then they left us alone,” Krish starts to explain. Dell just looks at him. Krish stops.

  “Not exactly,” Dell corrects him. “They left us alone only after we built them actual warships,” Dell explains.

  “They had us create the assembly lines to crank out Transpace Transports, the first UTZ Transpace Ships, designed to carry five hundred men between Earth and Mars, and to act as their support platform while those men were on Mars, fighting. They were all space inside and all armament outside: missiles, lasers, and machine guns all over the exterior. Nasty.”

  “I’ll say,” says Krish. “One of the best stories is the one about how the first five ships off the assembly line took a bite out of the UIN Mobile Base on their test run. Did you know there were only scientists and test pilots on those ships when they eliminated the ‘invisible’, mobile UIN Base?” Krish asks BC.

  “I don’t know the story, I don’t think,” BC says.

  Dell gets back into it.

  “The UIN thought they could attack The Transpace Project’s shipyard base out in Earth orbit, hit the assembly works and shipyard before the ships were staffed by the military and ready to fight. They did not reckon on the resolve of a group of crazy test pilots and scientists functioning as the ships’ ersatz crews. We challenged those assumptions for them. They suffered our consequences!”

  Dell allows himself a pause of triumph and a thin smile before he goes on.

  “That was the first time the UIN’s mobile stealth base was revealed,” he tells BC. “We knew they had some kind of flying fortress that was evading most UTZ sensors. It had been attacking UTZ targets fairly easily. Our ships were the first real challenge that base faced. And I was on one of those ships!” Dell says, smiling with pride.

  “Really?” BC asks.

  That’s something...

  “Really,” Dell affirms, “We were testing the first five ships off the assembly line when the UIN stealth base attacked us out of nowhere. The ships were crewed by the test pilots and scientists. And we kicked their ass!” Dell asserts with a smile.

  “Dell likes to remind us every now and then that he’s a war hero,” Anita kids a little.

  “He’s our hero,” Krish adds, voice dripping sarcasm. Dell looks down his nose at Krish and arches an eyebrow.

  Krish looks down nervously. “Well... actually, you are,” Krish says sheepishly, “Our hero, I mean. Sorry.”

  “Dell is rightly proud of his feats,” Anita says in his defense, “as he should be.”

  “My only regret is that we didn’t destroy the base entirely,” Dell admits. “It escaped us. But we did do serious damage! And we proved that it actually existed, and that it could be stopped or at least turned back. And we stopped them from destroying our assembly plant! They did some damage, but nowhere near as much as they could have. We could repair the damage. We did. And we kept going. We continued cranking out ships for the UTZ military from this base. And the UIN Mobile base didn’t attack us again.”

  “And suddenly Mars was much closer for the UTZ,” Krish says in a loud, exaggerated announcer’s voice.

  “Yes,” Dell agrees, and plows on, mostly ignoring Krish. “The UTZ military were ecstatic. We set up the plant, protected it, and then made sure it could run itself. And then we handed it over to the UTZ military to run for themselves. They could make as many Earth-Mars Transpace Ships as their hearts desired. And then they left us alone. Finally. So we could do what we wanted.”

  “And what did you want to do?” BC asks.

  “We wanted to keep going!” Krish exclaims. “Why stop at Mars!”

  “Shut up, Ghandi,” BC jokes, using Anita’s earlier appellation.

  Krish gives him a dirty look.

  “She,” Krish says, nodding at Anita, “can call me that. You cannot,” he says, reprimanding BC. “You haven’t earned the right to, not yet! I know she means well. You I still don’t know about, so watch out!”

  BC laughs. “Oooo… I’m scared!” he says with sarcasm. “Sorry,” he adds, more seriously.

  “Shut up, Ghandi,” Anita says. She looks from Krish to BC and laughs. Dell sighs and everyone quiets back down so he can continue.

  “We did want to keep going,” he says. “And so we did. We gave the UTZ Military the shipyard in orbit and kept this Moon base ourselves. The UTZ left us alone and kept us funded, to keep a pool of skilled engineers handy in case things broke down on one of the ships or at the shipyard. Which they usually did not,” he says with an “I’ll have you know,�
� nod. “But we were left alone, for the most part.”

  “I joined up around then,” Krish says. “That was around ‘85, right?” he asks Dell.

  “Yes,” Dell nods in agreement.

  “It was the perfect time to join,” Krish says. He looks over at Dell.

  “Go ahead,” Dell tells him, answering Krish’s unspoken question.

  “The cool thing about The Project,” Krish says, “is that even though it was a UTZ thing, it wasn’t exclusively Christian. It wasn’t religious at all. I could join The Project without worrying about not fitting in… because I’m Hindu, you know? Well, I was then, I’m not anything, now,” he says. Anita cuts him off. “You know, Krish, Father Campion here,” she nods at BC, “is a Christian Priest. Be careful what you say.”

  “Are you easily offended, father?” Krish asks BC.

  “Not really,” BC decides.

  “Good. You can’t be easily offended if you’re a Hindu these days, let me tell you. Gotta live on the Moon to escape your friends’ persecution,” he says to BC, accusingly. “Nice, huh, in this day and age!

  Anyway, as a Hindu intellectual all I had was the Moon.”

  “You were never,” Anita butts in.

  “Never what? Hindu?” Krish asks. He protests, “No, I was, I was. Back then...”

  “No. An intellectual,” Anita says with a grin, cutting him off and cutting him down at the same time. Krish clams up and looks hurt for a moment. Then he smiles, and continues as if she hadn’t said anything. “And The Project recruited me! It was as if the universe had opened up to me!”

  “Very poetic,” says Dell. “We had begun building our own Transpace Ships around the time Krish was recruited, in eighty five. Once the military had theirs, we could make our own. We brought in Krish and some other fresh blood. Our new brains, we called them.” Dell grins evilly at Krish, “whatever did happen to your brain, Krish?”

  Krish laughs a fake laugh, “Ha ha.”

  “With the UTZ Military out of the picture, mostly, we could bring on more NC’s, as the Federals used to call them,” Dell interjects to explain.

  “NC’s?” BC asks him.

  “Non Christians,” Dell and Krish say in unison.

  “Oh,” BC says quietly. Then he grins.

  “That was cute. Do you guys do that a lot?”

  Both of them glare at BC until they crack smiles a second later.

  “NC: Non-Christian... How nice. I’m BC: Bad Christian. Don’t let the collar fool ya...

  “When did you join up?” BC asks Anita.

  “In ‘96. Later. After a couple of other important things happened,” she answers. She gets up and walks over behind Krish. “Don’t jump ahead,” she chides BC. She looks down at Krish then over to Dell. “Let them tell the story. I’ll chime in when my time comes, don’t you worry,” she tells BC. “Actually, I do want to interrupt for a sec. Are you guys hungry?”

  Funny, I was, but then I hadn’t thought about it again. Lost track of time but...

  “Sure, I’m starving,” BC says.

  Dell shakes his head, “No, I’m not that hungry. But why don’t you eat in here, and I’ll keep debriefing Father Campion while you eat. If that’s okay with you, Father?” he asks BC.

  “Sure, and please, call me ‘BC’, okay?” he answers. “I’ve never been much of a ‘Father’ figure,” BC

  jokes.

  “What, killing people get in the way of that?” Anita asks pointedly.

  BC glares at her.

  Low blow, bitch. Don’t care if it’s true. Where did that come from?

  “What?” she asks, quasi innocently. “We know what you are. Who you’ve killed. You’re a soldier.”

  And to think we’d been having so much fun, after all the shooting and all the puking was done...

  BC feels the need to defend himself.

  “Look,” BC states, “I did my job. I worked for The Pope! And according to him, I did the Lord’s work!”

  “Yet again, the number one excuse for bloodshed over the course of human history,” Anita says with a note of anger in her voice. “I congratulate you on your sense of history, if not your morality, or lack thereof,” she finishes.

  She walks around the table, stands beside BC and looks down on him in his chair. “It’s why we’re still in this war now, isn’t it? Just people like you, doing your job.”

  “Oh. I get it,” BC goes on the defensive, “I didn’t know that when you asked if I was hungry that you planned to serve me humble pie for lunch. Is that it? Yum yum yum, isn’t it good? Wasn’t I bad?” BC

  lays on the sarcasm. “Jesus Christ, give me a break!”

  “What, is that a prayer? Are you praying now?” Anita says. She can’t keep her face composed after that. She laughs.

  “Some people,” Krish interrupts, “some people get veeery cranky when they’re hungry,” he notes.

  “Krish is right,” Anita agrees. “Let’s eat something. BC?”

  “What?”

  Simple as that? Move on? I guess…

  “What do you want?” she asks.

  “Anything?”

  “Anything,” Anita prods him. “Go ahead. You’ll be surprised.”

  “How about Tuna Salad? A Tuna Salad Sandwich?”

  Anita nods. “Krish, will you go get that and my usual?”

  “Me?” Krish protests. “Why am I the waiter all of a sudden?”

  “Because BC and Dell need to stay here to tell and listen to the story. And I need to stay to keep BC in line,” she says with sarcasm.

  “Oh, she does,” BC echoes her sentiment.

  “Right,” Krish sighs.

  “Besides, you know the way there!” Anita says. “It was so nice of you to volunteer, Krish!” she smiles at him.

  “Bah!” Krish says, standing up. “I’m going! Are you sure all you want is a tuna sandwich?” he asks BC.

  “Well, since you’re asking,” BC pauses...

  ...Let’s push him a little...

  ”...how about a salad and a cola, too? Oh, and creamy Italian dressing on the salad, but on the side, okay, not on top, I don’t want it to get soggy, I hate that,” BC says, sounding faux-finicky. “And croutons! Don’t forget croutons! Make sure they’re crispy, not stale. Do you have garlic ones? I love those! And could you make sure the cola isn’t too syrupy...”

  “AARGH!” Krish loses it. BC smiles. So does Dell.

  “That was good,” Dell nods to BC.

  Krish leaves the room, cursing under his breath.

  “I’ll be back shortly!” his voice echoes as he hits the hallway.

  “Sometimes it’s at his expense, but Krish is usually good about being our comic relief,” Anita confides to BC conspiratorially. “I’m sorry things got hot there for a second. I was actually trying to make a joke.”

  “I don’t joke about killing people,” BC says without humor.

  I don’t joke about them, do I? Have I? Hmmm... okay maybe I have a couple of times...

  “It is war,” she admits. “People get killed on both sides. We’ve all done what we’ve had to,” she says.

  Wonder what she’s done?

  “I can see how it could have sounded like a cheap shot,” she admits, “and I’m sorry about that, okay?” Anita checks with him.

  “Apology accepted,” BC says.

  You know, she is kind of pretty in an unconventional way. Like a mischievous angel. When the light hits her right. And when she isn’t trying to kill you. Or give you shit over what you do. Funny, any woman looks good when she’s apologizing to you, happens so rarely...

  “Look, don’t gloat, okay?” She admonishes BC. “And don’t get used to it!”

  “Shall I go on?” Dell asks, stoic and reserved. BC and Anita look at each other and laugh.

  “Please,” BC says. He shifts in his seat, settling in for more of Dell’s story. Anita sits back down in her seat as well, and the tall man begins again.

  “We in The Project built our own shi
ps, and we didn’t stop at Mars,” Dell says. “The asteroids were the next logical step. We hoped to find a large enough, stable enough rock to build a base on, with raw materials we could use to build more ships, well beyond the reach of either side of the war. We’d be left entirely to ourselves,” Dell explains.

  “Van Kilner wanted to go to the asteroids to live in lower gravity. Gravity was punishing him, as he got older. That was one reason. The monetary support from the UTZ was beginning to dry up, too, each year’s budget slightly smaller. Van Kilner figured the asteroids’ resources would free us from the UTZ’s budget control, give us the means to build Transpace Ships to jump beyond the Solar System,” Dell says.

  “That was Van Kilner’s dream, to go to the stars themselves, beyond our own system. He could see that wouldn’t happen with the war going on. Not if we tried to survive just on the UTZ’s scraps.” Dell shakes his head.

  “We moved everyone out to The Project’s first asteroid base in mid ‘92. The base was fully functional by then. We kept a small staff here,” he says, looking around the room and the base around their conference room, “but all our meaningful work moved out to the asteroid base,” he says, confirming BC’s earlier guesses.

  “This place has been like this,” he indicates the emptiness, “ever since. Mostly used now as a base for covert-ops,” Dell says, nodding to Anita.

  “Those ships we built for ourselves to take us to the asteroids were spotted by some commercial pilots. They called our ships flashers, pretty much from the start, so we called them that, too. Van Kilner doesn’t like that name, though, says it’s undignified, and reminds him of fat naked men in long trench coats...” Dell laughs.

  “BC’s all about flashers,” Anita jokes.

  “We were jumping back and forth all the time, so it was inevitable that some of our ships would be seen. A few were that first year,” Dell explains. He gets back to his story. “It was after we had spent a year out in the asteroids that we found the other base. The alien base,” Dell says.

  “I wondered when we were getting to that,” BC chimes in.

  “We found an abandoned base, left years ago by some alien race. They left parts behind, ship parts, fusion reactors, fusion drives. We hit the jackpot!” Dell can’t help but smile. “We began reverse engineering what we found!”