Healed by Hope [Marked 6] (Siren Publishing Everlasting Classic ManLove)

by Jana Downs

  She froze, eyes flicking back and forth between them.

  Hope only had a second to intercept what was going to be a nasty interaction if she took another step. He pushed Steve to the ground with a lunge, and the unsuspecting wolf stumbled and fell right where Hope wanted him. He covered Steve with his body, providing a heavy blanket for the scared wolf. To let him know he wasn’t getting aggressive, he lapped at Steve’s mouth, comforting him the best way he knew.

  Steve whimpered, squirming for just a second before going still. He sighed, the relief in the movement obvious. Hope licked him again. Good boy. The smell of fear was slowly fading, replaced by contentment.

  In all his years being around the pack, all his life really, he’d never seen a wolf as close to their base nature as Steve was. When wolves were in their feral form, more often than not, the human part was still steering the ship, even if they were driven by some of their baser instincts. Steve wasn’t like that. He seemed so molded to his wolf it was like the two had merged completely.

  He lapped at the corner of Steve’s mouth, a gesture of comfort and affection. Steve grinned and nuzzled him back. Underneath his hurt and suspicion was a goofball wolf dying to get out. He had all the energy of a pup and all the stockiness of gamma. It was a bull-in-a-china-shop combination. Hope tried very hard not to find that absolutely adorable.

  Hope eased off to let him up, and Steve immediately sprung up like a jack-in-the-box. The she wolf ran off into the brush, but Steve paid her no mind. He seemed much more interested in Hope.

  Steve barked at him, all but commanding him to come play. Hope huffed, the dominant part of him bristling a little bit at the order there. The larger part of him just thought he was funny.

  He barked again, running a short distance away before waiting on Hope to join him.

  Fine. We’ll play. There was no harm in having a bit of fun before they had to have a serious conversation. For the first time in a long time, Hope allowed his wolf full rein and bounded after Steve.

  Chapter Three

  Steve woke up feeling light. It might’ve been an odd way to describe the feeling of utter contentment he gained from waking up curled up on a particularly comfortable patch of grass, but he had no other word for it. The heaviness of his depression, his helplessness, and anger had been sitting on his chest for months and now…contentment.

  He stretched in the grass, worrying for a split second about picking up a tick before shrugging it off. If he didn’t get one running around last night, he was probably not going to get one laying here. He stared up into a canopy of trees, a tent of white birch that reminded him of the area his family had camped at when he was younger. The soft sound of insects buzzing told him that the day was a little warmer than it had been in recent weeks. The fact that he wasn’t freezing to death should’ve told him as much, but he’d learned that being a wolf came with a whole different set of definitions of pain, pleasure, hot, and cold.

  He took a deep breath as some of his good mood slid away. He didn’t want to think about the fucked-up parts when he felt like this. He rubbed his eyes, wiping out the junk that accumulated in the corners while he slept. Whatever had happened last night was something to cling to, not the past few months.

  Mustang was probably going to be pissed he’d stayed out this long. He distinctly recalled the Alpha warning everyone to be back before daybreak. Then the call of the moon had been so strong that he hadn’t heard anything else. He’d smelled something delicious and then he’d been lost to the will of the wolf. He didn’t even remember transitioning from human to animal. He just knew he had.

  “Mm, time to face the music,” he murmured, goading himself into action. He had to give Mustang a decision on going to the Circle. Maybe he had been a little hasty when deciding to kick it. He didn’t feel as strongly about dying today as he had last night, though nothing had really changed. Maybe he’d needed to let his wolf out of the pen every once in a while. He didn’t feel like he’d been in a fight so maybe he hadn’t lost his shit this time, even if he had seemingly blanked the entire event.

  “I suppose you’re right about that,” an unfamiliar voice said from somewhere to his right.

  Steve rolled to face whoever had spoken. His casual morning wood sprang to full need-to-fuck mode in two seconds flat. The stranger lying next to him was a gorgeous. With gorgeous dark-brown hair that was just a shade off of midnight and eyes the exact shade of green as his favorite flavor of apple, it was no wonder that sex came to mind when their eyes met. Steve couldn’t resist giving the rest of his naked body the same attention that he’d given his face. Broad shouldered, narrow waisted, and hard and hung, the rest of him didn’t disappoint either.

  The stranger cleared his throat. “Eyes off my cock, Steve.”

  Steve had a really difficult time dragging his gaze up. “Sorry. Still not used to wolves being all naked and stuff.” He immediately covered his own cock in an attempt of modesty. His wolf jerked at the rope tying his control, and he jerked toward the newcomer. He tried to cover it with a scratch to his chest. “So, um, did we hunt together last night or something?”

  The stranger gave him a quizzical look before nodding. “Something like that.” He extended his hand. “Hope Harris.”

  They shook. “Steve Justice. I suppose you know that though.” Mustang had introduced him to everyone the night before after all.

  “Yeah.” He lingered over his hand for longer than was strictly appropriate, but Steve chalked it up to another weirdo wolf move. They did all sorts of odd things. “Are you all right?”

  Steve frowned, pulling his hand back. “Uh, yeah. Fine.”

  “You seem different.”

  “How so?”

  Hope shrugged. “I don’t know. Just…different.”

  “Good different or bad different?”

  “I can’t tell yet.”

  Steve rolled to his knees before pushing himself up onto his feet. “Okay then.” He cracked his back and took a look around. “You know the way back?”

  Hope followed him up. “Yes. It’s not far.”

  “That’s good. You want to walk back together?” The guy may have been a bit weird but he seemed nice enough.

  “That would be nice.” Hope started walking toward the tree line without glancing at Steve again.

  Steve wasn’t sure what to make of the guy. He was hot, clearly a part of Mustang’s pack, and seemed nice if a little weird. If it weren’t for the wolf thing, Steve would’ve assumed he was normal and by normal he meant not into all the BDSM stuff all the other wolves seemed to be.

  “So what do you do, Hope?” Steve asked, making light conversation.

  “I own a small veterinarian clinic in town.”

  “So you treat pack pets?” His lips twitched. It was funny. It made sense in a way but it was still downright funny.

  “Essentially. My parents always told me I should’ve gone into medicine, but I like animals much better than people.”

  Steve could relate to that. In his old life, he’d loved people. In this new one everyone seemed like a threat, every action seemed like a potential betrayal. It was hard living in the constant state of battle readiness. He shied away from the topic. He had no desire to relive his nightmares in broad daylight.

  “That’s cool. Have any pets?”

  “I just got a puppy.”

  Steve perked up at that. “You can find a dog that can stand you?” He’d had a dog once, but ever since he’d turned, they’d gone nuts every time he was near.

  Hope nodded. “Oh yes. We have a few pack members that are breeders. I could introduce you if you like.”

  Steve immediately shook his head. He didn’t have a dime to his name. Mustang and Gray had been covering everything he’d needed from toiletries to new clothes after the last Alpha he’d encountered shredded his life. “I don’t know. Might attack it or something.” It was a viable excuse for not wanting the info.

  Hope gave him a quizzical look. “I noticed you w
ere a little high strung in your other form.” He paused. “Who hurt you?”

  “No offense, man, but I’m not keen on being the subject of more pack gossip.” He knew they talked about him all the time, the crazy one, the one who was broken. He couldn’t stand the pity his story invoked. He’d survived, sort of. He just hadn’t learned how to cope with his new normal yet.

  Is that why you keep trying to find excuses to die?

  The little voice in his head could shut it. He didn’t want to analyze himself further. He just wanted to exist.

  “Of course not. I wouldn’t carry tales, but you don’t know that yet.” Hope paused. “Would you like to have dinner sometime at the club?”

  “What club?”

  “Riders.”

  “Uh, I don’t know. I’m kind of on house arrest until Mustang gives the all clear.” He felt like the world’s biggest dork for having to ask permission to go out like a teenager still living in Mommy’s basement, but it wasn’t like he could avoid it.

  Hope nodded. “I was aware of that limitation. I was offering to act as your chaperone, at least officially.” The last part came out hasty, like he was afraid to piss Steve off. In another life, he really would’ve.

  Instead, Steve nodded. “I think that would be fun.” His heart was pounding like a wallflower being asked to dance for the first time.

  “Excellent.”

  They walked in silence as the minutes ticked by. The clouds rolled in from the west, chasing away the warmth created from the sun.

  Naked, the temperature drop should’ve been uncomfortable, but Steve was too distracted by the lovely man walking beside him to notice. He might have thought about himself as a straight man in another life, albeit a very open one, but the thoughts he was having about his new companion were anything but friendly. The urge was strange considering he hadn’t had an erotic thought since he’d been kidnapped.

  His wolf seemed to be content to just be close to the man, which was also freaking bizarre given his animal’s penchant for “bite now and ask questions later.” There was something about the way the guy smelled. He smelled “safe.” Whatever that meant to his furry self.

  “You’re hard again.”

  Steve’s face went instantly red at the comment. It wasn’t just the words. It was the sexy tone Hope had, the one that hinted at the sounds the man would make in bed.

  He put his hands in front of his cock. “Sorry.” It seemed like the only thing to say.

  “Don’t be. I like it. Your lust smells…delicious.”

  Steve really wanted to hear Hope say more sensual words like “caress” and “sensual.” He practically purred them. His cock lurched at the thought of Hope’s lips making those sounds around his hard cock.

  He cleared his throat, pulling his hands away before he actually stroked himself. “So what are you into?”

  “Into?”

  “You know, in the BDSM thing.” That was not the topic to address while his cock was standing out straight from his body like a freaking flag pole.

  Hope chuckled, low and deep. “I enjoy fire play most of all, but I work a sub up to that sort of thing.”

  “So you’re a Dom?” He’d learned all the terminology ages ago. He’d just never had the cause to apply it. He, however, did not know what “fire play” was and had a vaguely horrified interest in learning the logistics of burning oneself. The smell of burned flesh never left a person.

  His hand automatically went down to the faint scar on his hip. The brand had been applied for over a minute, marking him with the hideous symbol of his Master’s ownership. He managed to clamp down at the whimper of terror that crept up from his gut but barely.

  He’s dead. He repeated his mantra over and over again. He’s dead and he can never hurt anyone ever again.

  Hope frowned. “Yes. I’m a Dom. What scared you? Was it a Dominant that hurt you?” The guy’s wolf became visible in his eyes and the tips of his fangs pierced his bottom lip in a display of savage anger, the only kind wolves ever showed.

  Steve took a step back. He knew instantly that he needn’t have. Hope was pissed for him, not at him. He took a deep breath. “I’m okay.” Fear did nothing for his hard-on. “PTSD, or so WebMD tells me.”

  “Isn’t that only for soldiers?”

  Steve snorted. “I wish. Trauma, man. Any kind of trauma. Let’s not talk about my issues. Okay? There are many, and I could talk about them all damn day and it wouldn’t make a lick of difference. The past is the past. I’m ready for a new future, okay?”

  Since when? His declaration surprised even himself. It was like some kind of switch had flipped. Yesterday he’d been willing to let his entire life go, and today he wasn’t so sure he wanted to. Maybe it was the fact that he hadn’t attacked anyone. Maybe it was him finally letting the wolf out to play after months of trying to keep it in. Whatever the reason, he was happy the world didn’t seem so utterly hopeless right now. Maybe this is what recovery feels like.

  “All right.” Hope’s expression didn’t match his sentence. He looked like he wanted to tie Steve up and torture him for information. Granted, in theory, Steve should enjoy it a bit, but still. “So how about you?”

  Nice subject change. Except, Steve wasn’t sure which topic they’d gone to. “How about me what?”

  “What aspects of BDSM are you interested in?”

  “Honestly?”

  “Yeah.”

  This was going to go over about as well as a whore in church. “I’m not.”

  “Not what?”

  “Interested.” Steve chuckled at Hope’s shocked expression. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about being kinky but I’m not into the ‘yes, Sir,’ ‘no, Sir’ thing. I’m okay with trying new things but I’m not a sub or a Dom.” To be frank, the idea of being in charge scared the hell out of him. On the other side of that feeling, he didn’t trust someone to be in charge of him either. There were too many what-ifs for him to trust so absolutely again.

  Hope looked skeptical. “Have you ever experienced a loving BDSM relationship?”

  He shook his head. “I don’t need to. I see how everyone is here. Logically, I get that people can be into it.”

  “But you have issues wrapping your mind around it,” Hope finished for him.

  Steve nodded. “Exactly.”

  “I’ll make you a deal.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Go out with me to Rider’s and let me show you a few things. Afterward, you can make a definitive decision.”

  Steve cut his eyes sideways. “I don’t know, man…”

  “At least think about it,” Hope wheedled. “I’m only asking for dinner and a show. Granted, it’s a very kinky show but one I think you’ll enjoy.”

  “Pushy doesn’t work well with me.” He tried to summon up the resentment, the anger that usually flared when someone started making decisions for him. His idiot cock just got hard again, and his wolf salivated like Hope was his favorite rock star.

  Hope stopped suddenly, eyes widening slightly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think I was being pushy. I know you’ve been through a lot. I didn’t mean to overstep.”

  Aw, crap. Now I feel like an asshole. “It’s okay.” He shifted, shy all of a sudden. “I do want to go out with you.” For no reason. He shrugged. He’d asked people out for less. The last chick he’d taken out had been the only girl at the frat party who could do as many shots as he could. His standards weren’t known for being supremely high in the best of circumstances.

  A lot had changed in a few short months.

  Hope smiled. “I’m glad. I look forward to taking you.”

  Oh man, the way he said “taking” did not sound like dinner and movie.

  Hope’s smile widened. “You’re hard again.”

  Steve jumped as Hope reached out and ran a hand along the ridge of his cock. He groaned. “What are you doing?”

  “I have no idea. I shouldn’t be touching you at all.” Hope gave his cock another firm strok
e. “I can’t help it though. You smell so good.”

  Steve’s mind blanked as he rocked his hips into Hope’s hand. He didn’t care why Hope was touching him. All he cared about was that he was and that there was no fear and nothing but pleasure. He reached up and clung to Hope’s shoulders, leaning into him as his strokes grew bolder.

  “Wanted to do this since last night,” Hope rumbled, forcing Steve up onto his tiptoes to chase the firm stroke of his hand.

  “Yeah?” Apparently his dirty talk needed more work than he originally thought. He’d always felt like he’d been the one in control of his relationships. He didn’t feel very in control at the moment. Usually that led to a meltdown. Right now, he was just hard and needy and he didn’t want to question why things felt as good as they did.

  “Oh yeah. Since you decided to grind your pretty cock against me before things got furry.”

  Oops. He’d forgotten that part.

  It was then that the other half of the sentence registered. Was it weird to blush when someone complimented his cock? He’d never had anyone call his cock pretty before.

  Hope did something with his hands that made Steve’s thoughts scatter and his eyes cross. He gasped.

  “Like that, boy?” Something about the way Hope said “boy” made him pant. He said it like he as a very, very naughty boy and naughty boys definitely deserved spankings. He was not opposed to a playful slap on the ass but he had the sneaking suspicion that Hope was the type that didn’t play around when it came to his spankings.

  “Yeah. God, yeah.” Color me articulate.

  “Touch me, boy. See how hard you made my cock?” Even while he was being so commanding, there was a thread of warmth through Hope’s words. It was nice, pleasant even.

  Steve didn’t answer. He just wrapped his hand around Hope’s thick prick and started using his favorite masturbation techniques. It wasn’t until recently he’d been able to play with his prick at all without losing control and shifting into his four-legged self.