Shadow's Dilemma (Wild Kings MC: Dander Falls Book 4)

by Erin Osborne

  “Got it. I want one brother and two prospects on her at rehab. Tech, I want you to pull her phone records and see if you can find anythin’ out of the ordinary she didn’t think about. Then I want Shadow on the inside and someone on the outside when he’s there. All other times, we’ll take shifts,” Gage says, letting everyone know that this needs to be taken seriously. “You claimin’ her?”

  “Without a doubt I am. She just needs to get on board with it,” I tell my brothers as they look at me.

  “You sure about that after the incident with Nessa?” Tech asks, wanting to make sure that I’m all in with Renee.

  “She’s it for me. We’re goin’ to be talkin’ about that too. But there’s nothin’ to worry about there because I haven’t touched anyone since findin’ out Renee was in the hospital. I don’t want them and I won’t fuck around on her. It’s not me,” I tell Tech as my blood begins to boil with the thought that I would ever hurt her or do anything with any of the skanks around here anymore.

  Tech nods at me before we go over any other business that needs to be discussed tonight. I’m sitting at the table trying to pay attention to what’s being said, but my mind is on Renee and the situation that she’s in. I’m not sure if she honestly knows anyone that would want to come after her like this. Finally, I hear the gavel slam against the table and stand as everyone else follows suit back out to the common room.

  “You stayin’ for a drink?” Steel asks, falling in step with me.

  “Nope. Gotta get back and talk to my girl. I’ll send Harley and Riley back here unless they need to get home and get the kids,” I tell him, pulling my key ring out of my pocket.

  “Nope. They can come here. Gage is sendin’ the prospects out to get the kids,” he replies, slapping me on the back before heading to the bar.

  Before, I would’ve been right there with my brothers; drinking, laughing, and having a good time. Now, all I want to do is get home to Renee and make sure that Dylan didn’t have another meltdown while I was gone. I find a peace I’ve never known when I’m surrounded by the two of them and that’s why I know that I’ll do whatever I have to in order for Renee to give me a second chance. No matter what she says, we’ll work it out and make sure that it’s together.

  I’ve sent Harley and Riley to the clubhouse, checked on Dylan, and made sure the house was locked up tight. Now, I’m sitting on the couch while Renee sits next to me in her wheelchair. She looks extremely uncomfortable and nervous about the talk we’re about to have. I’m nervous as fuck, but I know we need to get everything out in the open. I’m going to let her lead the conversation though. If she ever decides to start it that is.

  “Shadow, I know you don’t know why I freaked out and ran away a year ago. I saw that girl staking her claim on you and it triggered an automatic response in me. It’s not anything that you necessarily did,” she begins, taking a deep breath while she continues to rub her hands together and down the side of her legs in her nervousness. “Every guy I’ve been with has cheated on me and used me for one thing or another. While I know that you’re not using me, I saw that girl with you and it made me go back to every other guy. That’s why I don’t give second chances and why it’s so hard for me to let anyone in. You’re the first guy since Dylan’s dad, Trenton, that has made is through my front door. Trenton not only cheated on me, he walked away from our son. He wants nothing to do with him. I can’t help the way I am when it comes to relationships of any kind. I’ve been conditioned to be this way and I want to change, but I don’t know if I can let you in again.”

  I take a minute to digest what she’s just told me. Rage and anger roll through my body at the thought of anyone doing this amazing girl wrong. Renee puts herself last in everything. Dylan comes first, then everyone that’s lucky enough to be let in her life, her patients follow that, strangers she meets in her travels come next, and then finally she thinks about herself. If someone needed the shirt off of her back, Renee would give it to them in a heartbeat. There wouldn’t be any questions asked or any hesitation on her part. I’m stunned speechless right now.

  “Damn baby,” I say, pulling her hands apart and holding them in my own. “If I had known any of that, I would’ve worked harder to get rid of that bitch. I’m tellin’ you now that I want nothin’ to do with her or anyone else, Doc. Now, I can’t sit here and say that I was a monk over the last year, but I didn’t think I had a chance to get you back. I will tell you that I didn’t touch that skank one time,” I tell her, needing her to know that I take her seriously and will be there by her side no matter what is going on. “Since findin’ out you were in the hospital, I haven’t touched a single girl. I don’t want to. Doc, you’re the only one I want.”

  “How do I know someone that looks better won’t turn your head when you least expect it? Or that the girls at the club won’t continue to make me think that there’s something going on that’s not? And why are you calling me Doc?” she asks, and I know that it’s not all the questions she’ll have.

  “First of all, I’m callin’ you Doc because you have more smarts, bed side manners, and medical trainin’ than the asshats that have the actual title of ‘doctor’. No one else is goin’ to turn my head. When I was with those other bitches, thinkin’ of you was the only way I could get hard and stay that way. You were the one I pictured when I was with them. There isn’t a single female out there that is better than you. The way I grew up makes me believe, and know in my gut, that you are the one that was put on Earth to bring me out of the darkness and let me live in a world full of light. You’re so pure and innocent that I know I’m not good enough for you, but I’m a selfish bastard and I don’t care,” I tell her, knowing that I need to let her in on my past and about her car before this is all over with. “Have I ever told you how I came to be a member of the Wild Kings?”

  “No, you haven’t,” she answers, letting me hold her hands as we talk.

  “When I was young, just a teenager, I left home and ended up on the streets. My dad left when I was a baby and the older, I got, I felt I had to be the ‘man of the house’. Thankfully I didn’t have any brothers or sisters because I’m sure that they wouldn’t have survived what my mom was going to put them through. The night I left, with just the clothes on my back, she tried to pimp me out to some guy her drug dealer knew,” I begin my story with my head held down in shame as I reveal this part of my life. One that I never wanted her to know. “Anyway, after tryin’ to beat the shit out of the guy, I knew I had to get away. There wasn’t anythin’ I could do to help her out anymore and I was beyond tired of tryin’. I lived on the streets for almost a year when Pops ran into me. He was out shoppin’ for a present for Ma. By then, I was practically beggin’ for money so I could get out of the cold and find somethin’ to eat that would last me a few days. He knew somethin’ was wrong just from one look. Instead of runnin’ from him, I stood my ground and gave him all the attitude I could muster. All Pops wanted to do was help me. That one meetin’ changed my entire life.”

  “What did he do?” Renee asks, lifting my head with her hand so I was looking her in the eyes.

  “He took me for a hot meal and then sent me to one of his friends. Pops couldn’t bring another mouth in to feed even though Ma wanted me to stay with them. So, he did the next best thing and sent me to someone he knew would take care of me, love me the way I deserved, and they could come see me whenever they wanted to,” I tell her, not tipping my head back down even though I want to more than anything. Until I realize that I’m not seeing pity or disgust in her eyes. I see love, anger, and understanding shining back at me. “I fought it so hard when I first got to his friend’s house. As far as I knew, no one helps someone else out for free. Instead, Mavis continued to love on me and let me know that the only thing she wanted from me was to graduate school and find a good path in life. Even if that meant followin’ in Pop’s footsteps. That’s how I know that you’re it for me and that you were put in my life for good. This thing between us is just get
tin’ started, Doc.”

  Renee takes a few minutes to look at me before I see the determination take over her facial features. It’s a look that’s starting to come out more and more in her and I love seeing it. “So, there’s going to be some ground rules if I break my number one rule for you. First of all, no matter what happens between us, I need to know that you’ll always be there for Dylan. He was so hurt when I cut you out of our lives and I won’t do that to him again. Secondly, if we fight and argue, I need to know that you won’t hide out at the clubhouse. You’ll have to be here by my side, so we can talk it out when we’ve both calmed down. This is going to go really slow and it’s going to take time before things are back to where they were,” she says, giving me hope for the first time in a long time when it comes to us.

  “I can, and will, do all of that. Renee, I know it’s goin’ to take time to get back in where I was before. I’m just grateful that you’re givin’ me this chance and I’ll prove to you every day that we’re goin’ to make it. Now, before we lie down, I need to tell you one more thing,” I tell her, sitting back just a little bit so I don’t scare her with the rage I feel right now. “We looked at your car after the accident. Someone messed with your breaks and that’s why you couldn’t stop. I’m not sure why you said it accelerated the way it did and there’s no way to find out now. So, I need to know if you’ve had any threats or anythin’ out of the ordinary happen?”

  I look up into her face and see that shock at the bombshell I just dropped on her. Instead of bombarding her with questions and being in her face about it, I give her the time she needs to process the information. Just when I think that she isn’t going to say anything, she takes a deep breath and starts answering me.

  “I don’t know anyone that would want to see me hurt like that. Especially anyone that knows I had Dylan in that car with me. There’s been no disgruntled patients or anything else,” she says, looking at me as she continues to think about events in the months, or weeks before her accident.

  “No calls or letters showed up unexpectedly? Could it possibly be Dylan’s dad tryin’ to get your attention? Or try to get him away from you?” I ask, trying to pull any information out of her that I can.

  Renee shakes her head no. She’s always been very careful of paying attention to her surroundings and spends more time watching what’s going on than anything else. If she hasn’t noticed anything out of the ordinary happening, then I can guarantee that she’s not lying about it. This only proves the horrible thought in the back of my mind that the accident was only the beginning of a shit storm. Fuck! This is not what she needs right now. But I’m going to do everything in my power to protect Dylan and her.

  I want to get her out of her own head, so I tell her to go to the bathroom so that I can help her back in bed. It’s been a long day and I know that she’s exhausted. Her face is drawn out and starting to lose some of its color the way it does when she’s run down. While she’s in the bathroom, I pick a movie on the TV and turn it on so that we can watch something as she falls asleep. As soon as we get comfortable, I’ll fill her in on my fighting. I’m not going to hide anything from her including that. She’s not going to be happy, but at least she’ll know the truth.

  Chapter Four

  Renee

  I’VE BEEN IN REHAB FOR ABOUT TWO months now and I dread every single appointment with the slave master otherwise known as Patrick. But, he’s got me to the point that I can walk with crutches now. I’m grateful that I’m not in that damn hospital bed and wheelchair anymore. However, I don’t want to be on the crutches either. I’m afraid that I’m going to get ahead of myself and end up face planting. That would be embarrassing and horrible!

  Shadow has been by my side through all the tears, yelling, cursing, and when I’m proud of every milestone I accomplish. Dylan and he are the reasons that I keep struggling to overcome this pain and inadequate feeling from not being able to do things on my own.

  The night that Shadow and I had our talk, I’ve been trying to wrap my head around the fact that he’s been fighting in underground fights. It scares me to know that he is intentionally putting himself in danger by doing this. I know he trains and does his best to protect himself, but there’s no rules. Whatever guy he’s fighting can do whatever they want to him. He’s assured me that he’s always surrounded by the guys from the club and that they’ll stop anything before it goes too far. I guess I’ll have to take his word about it for now.

  Today is the day that I’ve been waiting for though. I get to go and see if I still have to use the boot when I’m using my crutches. I hate wearing this boot. It’s so big and in the way. Especially when I’m trying to sleep. The only time I get to take it off is when I’m at rehab so that I can try to strengthen it back up.

  “Doc, you almost ready to head out?” Shadow asks, walking into the room as I sit up in bed.

  “Nope. I’ve been being lazy and haven’t even gotten my shower yet,” I tell him, stretching and letting the sheets drop below my chest. The tank top I’ve been wearing to bed has gone askew and there’s no hiding my boobs about to pop out of the small shirt.

  I watch as Shadow’s eyes darken as he looks at me. On one hand I don’t want to move things too fast and jump right back into fucking him. But, at the same time, I don’t want to wait because he’s been driving me insane. When he comes back from his training sessions, he’s usually wearing a loose pair of shorts and before he steps into the house, he’s taken his shirt off already. For some reason, he doesn’t take a shower at the gym before coming back to Dander Falls. So, I get an eyeful of his muscular and tattoo covered body on a daily basis.

  “You know that I’m not goin’ to wait for you if you keep showin’ your body, right?” he asks, walking closer to me as he talks. It’s almost like he’s stalking his prey.

  “Same goes for you, big guy,” I answer, throwing the blankets off me and maneuver myself off the bed after grabbing my crutches. Shadow always makes sure that they’re within reach no matter where I am. “Let me jump in the shower and we can go.”

  “How about you step in a bath and I’ll help you wash your hair. Still not a fan of you takin’ a shower alone until we know about your leg,” he says, walking in the bathroom behind me to turn the water on and get the temperature right. “Unless you want me to join you.”

  “I don’t know that we need to go there just yet,” I tell him, sitting down on the toilet so that I can take my boot off before getting in the tub.

  “I know. We’re goin’ at your pace and I don’t want to rush you. It’s just when I see you like this I want to explore every inch of the body that I’ve missed for over a year now,” he tells me, looking down at me as he places a hand on my cheek. I lean into his touch and relish the feeling of his hands on me.

  “It’s not easy for me either,” I tell him honestly. “I want you more than you know. It’s just I want more to come from whatever this is. We’ll see where this goes and take it a day at a time. If it happens, then it happens. I just don’t want it forced.”

  “I don’t want it forced either. We both want one another, and it will happen when it happens,” Shadow says, waiting until I’m naked before lifting me up and setting me in the tub.

  I take a few minutes to let my body soak in the hot water and release the tension that’s been building up in my muscles. Not only from going to rehab several times a week, but from the sexual tension that’s been building up in the past few weeks between Shadow and I. Leaning back against the tub, I close my eyes and sink as low as I can into the steaming water while I continue to feel Shadow’s eyes on me. Goosebumps break out over my skin as I feel his gaze roam over my body before he gently runs his hands along my skin.

  “Damn, baby. I’m gonna have to take a cold shower before we leave here,” he tells me, pulling his hand away from my body.

  “Then I guess you should get to it and let me bathe in peace,” I tell him, letting a smile take over my face as I keep my eyes closed.


  “Not a chance in hell when I get to have eyes on this gorgeous body of yours,” he says, tipping my face up as he leans down for a kiss.

  Once again, I’m left breathless as Shadow devours my mouth. He explores every inch of me between the kiss and his hands roaming my body. I reach up and wrap my arms around his neck and tangle my fingers into his long hair. Shadow lets out a deep growl as I try to deepen the kiss. Instead, he pulls back and leans his forehead against mine. We take deep breaths so that we can come back down and get our bodies under control.

  “Let me wash your hair so that I can get out of here until you’re ready to get out. We have to leave soon though,” he reminds me, picking the cup up that’s been left by the tub for him to use.

  I move forward in the tub so that my head is resting back in the water while Shadow uses the cup to pour water over the top of my head. Once my hair is completely wet, he begins to massage the shampoo into it before repeating the process to rinse my hair. I swear, he does better than any salon I’ve ever been to before. As soon as the shampoo and conditioner are rinsed out of my hair, Shadow stands up and dries his hands off before heading into my bedroom.

  My eyes follow his movements until I can’t see him anymore. Knowing that I have to leave soon, I hurry up and wash my body. I do take the time I need to shave and things before I call Shadow in the help me get out of the tub. He walks back into the bathroom shirtless and I can feel myself practically drooling over his half naked body. The man is ripped, and he seems to get bigger every time I see him.