Texas Baby Sanctuary

by Linda Conrad

  Tomorrow he would call his boss—if he still had a job, that is. The Marshals and the FBI needed to be informed about this ambush. They might be willing to give Grace a reward for stopping Serrano.

  The very least the FBI could do would be to let her see one of their specializing psychologists. Someone who deals with Grace’s particular problem.

  And what would he do while she got help somewhere else? The ache in the middle of his chest told the harsh truth. Give up his dreams. Let them go for good. And after that he’d better get back to work. After all, he could not bear to live on the ranch without Grace and Mikey.

  * * *

  “We need to leave tonight for L.A.” Sam’s voice broke through her thoughts.

  “L.A.?” She thought perhaps she’d only dreamed that he said it. “Jose has only been gone for thirty-six hours. What are you talking about?”

  She’d been sitting here in the kitchen with Mikey playing on the floor, having happy fantasies centered around them living on the ranch for good. She and Sam and Mikey. Her baby would learn to ride and shoot and become a good honest man like his new daddy.

  Instead Sam wanted them to go back to L.A.?

  “Us.” He waggled a finger between them. “Going back to L.A.”

  “Why?” The minute the word was out of her mouth, she could tell something was wrong. They must not be sharing the same dreams of the future.

  There hadn’t been much time to talk since the shooting. They’d spent all the day after speaking with the sheriff, looking at mug shots and retelling their stories. Things were crazy and confusing around the ranch and the town right now. The FBI had even flown in last night to interview them and pick up the body.

  But through it all she’d felt sure they were in sync over where to go from here. She loved him. And she was positive he loved her in return. They would marry and live happily on the ranch.

  Now the look in his eyes was hard. Unloving for the first time in weeks. The lawman was back. Had she been tricking her mind into believing something was true because she’d wanted it so much?

  “I’ve had an interesting phone call. Seems my old boss at WITSEC has just been found dead in his car. An assassination is the way it looked. One bullet to the back of his head.”

  “Oh. But who…?”

  “Serrano apparently.”

  “He’s dead. How could he…? He is dead, isn’t he, Sam?”

  “He’s definitely dead. But this was a hit Serrano ordered right before he came to Texas for Mikey.”

  “Why? Why would Jose order the death of your boss?”

  She knew it was a stupid question. Jose liked death. He used it for everything. To pave the way. For payback. To convince someone he was right. To take care of someone who’d disagreed.

  “Allegedly my boss was on Serrano’s payroll. It turns out he was the bastard who gave Serrano the lead on your whereabouts. He also was the one who had my phone bugged with a GPS chip that I thought had been removed. And finally he gave Serrano my secure HR files. That’s how the gang got the idea of coming to Chance to look for us.”

  Sam twisted and started pacing the floor. “Serrano paid the creep big bucks for help breaking him out of jail during his trial. I can’t believe I never really knew the guy. Not in all the years I worked for him.”

  “How can the FBI know about this so soon? Who called you? Maybe the information is wrong.”

  Shaking his head, Sam stopped pacing and gazed at her. “It was the Special Agent in charge in L.A. who called. Their intel is solid. They’ve had a man undercover and embedded in Serrano’s L.A. gang for six months, gathering evidence. They’re closing the sting on the rest of the drug gang as we speak. Rounding up as many members as they can locate.”

  “But that’s good. Why do we have to go to L.A. now?” She still wasn’t ready to face her demons in L.A. And she and Sam still needed time and space alone to talk.

  “The FBI lawyers want to depose you for the record. And they insist you see a psychologist. They don’t want one of their star witnesses being accused of having PTSD.”

  “But that’s idiotic. I’m not crazy. You know I don’t have post-traumatic stress disorder. Tell them.”

  “Gracie…” He took her hand, sat beside her and stared into her eyes. “You may not have PTSD but I do think you would benefit from talking to a psychologist. Why not give it a try?”

  She couldn’t think of a good reason why not. In fact, she could barely think of anything while Sam’s thumb made lazy circles on the palm of her hand.

  “I…uh…” She searched Sam’s eyes for some sense of what he felt.

  Did he still want her and Mikey? Had their relationship been based on him keeping them safe and now that the danger was gone it was over? She wanted some sign. Some word or move that would tell her he would be sorry if they had to separate.

  “I just don’t want to leave the ranch,” she finally managed. “I don’t want to go back to California.”

  “It’s time, Gracie. You have commitments. Your parents’ estate needs you for final settlement, for one thing. And I understand your grandmother has been asking to see you. The FBI lawyers won’t come to us, either, you know.”

  “But…” She didn’t deserve anything from her parents’ estate. And she couldn’t bear to face her grandmother after what she’d done. In her opinion all those things were good reasons for her not going back.

  Sam dropped her hand and stood. “It’s time I go back to work, too. I’m needed at the WITSEC office in L.A. to help straighten out the mess my boss left with his death.”

  There it was. The sign she’d been waiting for. But it was the one thing she’d dreaded to hear.

  He was going back to work. Leaving the ranch. And he didn’t seem ready to even discuss it.

  “Do we have to leave so soon?” That wasn’t what she’d wanted to say.

  She wanted to say what was in her heart. To tell him she loved him and was desperate to make a life with him.

  It didn’t really matter whether they were here on the ranch or in L.A. Just as long as they were together.

  “Afraid so. We have obligations, Gracie. And as much as I might like one more night in fantasy world with you, it’s time to get back to reality.”

  Fantasy world? That’s what he thought of their time together?

  She could feel her heart tearing in two. This wasn’t fair. He’d obviously been as happy with her as she was with him. But he was ready to see it end.

  The one time when she’d found true happiness, and now she discovered the man she loved thought of their whole relationship as only a temporary dream?

  Could her life get any more screwed up?

  Chapter 22

  Sam sat back in his chair and stared at the thick manila envelope sitting on his desk like it was a rattler poised to strike. A package from Grace?

  It had been six long weeks since he’d seen Grace and Mikey. Six weeks of pure torture, knowing they were as close as a phone call but keeping his distance anyway.

  He’d checked on them. By bribing the FBI to tell him what they knew. And he probably always would keep tabs.

  But they didn’t need him anymore. Grace made amends to her grandmother for not maintaining contact after her parents’ funeral. In fact, she and Mikey were living with the older woman while Grace settled her parents’ estate and went daily to see her psychologist.

  Turned out Grace was a very rich woman. And getting better mentally if the psychologist’s reports to the Bureau were to be believed. Mikey, too, seemed to be thriving by all accounts. Loving the attention he’d been getting from his great-grandmother and the new friends in his day care.

  But dang, Sam missed them both.

  Last week he’d turned in his resignation and had begun training a replacement. He’d taken that final step because at last he’d figured out the truth. Simply being away from the Bar-C did not mean he would forget about Grace and Mikey. It didn’t matter where he lived. He would always mourn the loss
of the one woman he wanted above all others. Nothing he could do, no place he could go, would erase her and Mikey from his mind.

  But she’d helped him see how much he had missed his roots. The ranch. His family. He belonged on the Bar-C and that’s where he was most needed.

  Today he’d been arguing with himself over whether to let her know he was going back to Texas. So far he’d checked on Grace and Mikey from afar in order to live up to a promise to her psychologist that he would give her enough time and space to find her own way back. Maybe the best thing now would be for him to contact her from the ranch. That way he wouldn’t be tempted to beg her to come with him.

  In all this time, all these days and hours, he had not heard one word from Grace until today. Not a phone call or an email. He’d hoped…

  Looking down at the package addressed to him in her hand, Sam wondered if he had the nerve to open it. What if she was writing to tell him goodbye for good?

  Deep down he knew it was over between them. And probably a complete cut, when he was leaving L.A. anyway, would be for the best.

  But somehow he couldn’t bring himself to actually read the words. To see her saying that she was feeling well and starting a new life without him. Finding a new love. A new daddy for Mikey.

  The damned envelope had been sitting there unopened for hours.

  Stretching, Sam sat up. Time to be a man and take the bad news. It wouldn’t change anything as far as he was concerned. But obviously it was important to Grace.

  After using a knife to slit open the envelope, he dumped the contents on the desk. A letter and a small notebook.

  He touched the notebook cover. Soft leather. It made him think of Grace on the ranch. Was this her journal?

  Had she spent her days entering thoughts on these pages? He picked up the notebook and sniffed the cover. Yes, he could smell her scent. And she was giving it to him? As a goodbye gift?

  Placing the notebook back on the desk, he picked up the letter. He needed to get the worst over quick.

  But there were only a few lines written by hand on the paper. And none of them were what he’d expected.

  Dearest Sam,

  I am doing much better. Making peace with my mind monsters and guilt demons.

  Mikey and I miss you very much. This week the psychologist suggested that I send you my daily journal. In it I wrote all my deepest thoughts, fears and hopes so I could truly be free. But now I know I won’t be free until you read them, too.

  I wish you the best of everything, Sam. You saved my life in more ways than one. I will never forget you.

  With all my love, Grace.

  * * *

  Grace knelt in the dappled shade of an old oak tree. The scents of summer: the newly mown grass, the fragrant flowers and that special sunshiny smell of the breeze at this time of year, all gave her comfort. This was the last task on her list. The one thing she knew must be accomplished before she could move on with her life.

  But it had taken every bit of her energy to force herself out of bed this morning. She’d been crying for two days straight. Ever since her last thread of hope disappeared. She waited by the phone, hour after lonely hour, praying to hear something from Sam after she’d sent her journal. Yet silence was all that met her tears.

  Swiping the remnants of those tears from her eyes, she focused her attention instead on the large grave marker before her.

  Dennis and Louisa Ramirez Randolph,

  loving parents of Isabella Grace Randolph.

  May they rest in God’s embrace.

  The marker had turned out nicely. Her grandmother had been right about what it should say.

  Now Grace had come to bid her goodbyes. She had been in Jose’s clutches during her parents’ funeral. But her grandmother had insisted the headstone should wait until she could make her choices. Grace had needed to be here on the day it was installed. Needed to shred this last remaining rope around her heart.

  Her parents had been gone for nearly three years. And in all this time, she had not been able to drag herself to their gravesite. Not until today.

  Sam’s loving concern and six weeks of intensive therapy had made her see the truth. She’d finally accepted that their deaths were not her fault. Only one person deserved the blame. And Jose Serrano was already facing his maker for his sins.

  “I wish things were different,” she whispered to the wind. “I wish you could meet your grandson. Mikey is such a joy. You would love him as everyone else does.”

  Grace placed a bouquet of spring flowers at the base of the headstone. “And I wish you could’ve known Sam. He’s such a good man.”

  The tears started again but she sniffed them back. “He would’ve been like the son you never had. Sam’s the best, Mom and Dad. And even though he thinks he can’t be with Mikey and me, I still…”

  “You still what?” Sam’s voice interrupted her solitary thoughts.

  She swiveled around and glanced up, dumbfounded to see him standing there. Her voice suddenly fled as she gaped at him.

  Surprisingly, he didn’t pull her to her feet but knelt beside her. “Is it okay for me to be here?”

  Swallowing past her dry throat, she nodded. “How long have you been standing there? And why are you here? How did you find me?”

  “I’ve been here for about five minutes. Your grandmother told me where to find you. And as for why I’m here, that should be easy to explain, too. But…”

  Her trembling must have been obvious because he inched closer and put his arm around her shoulders, giving her both strength and warmth at the same time.

  “Tell me why. I need to hear it.”

  “You deserve to hear it, darlin’. You deserve to hear it every day for the rest of your life.”

  He cleared his throat. “I love you, Grace. I love you. I love you.” Pulling her closer, he placed a kiss against her temple and whispered in her ear. “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you before. But I don’t want to live another day without telling you. Please say I’m not too late. That you still love me and forgive me for being such a jerk.”

  Her dry throat was gone, suddenly replaced by a huge lump. “You…” She swallowed hard. “If you read my journal, you know I still love you. I’ll never stop.”

  “Oh, I read it all right. Maybe five times straight through—so far.”

  For some reason the idea of him reading her journal over and over made her smile. “It’s not a bestseller. I think five times is plenty.”

  Sam took her by the shoulders, leaned in and kissed her on the lips. It was a kiss full of promise. Full of hope. And full of love.

  The tears rolled down her cheeks as he broke the kiss and leaned back to gaze lovingly at her face.

  “Why didn’t I hear from you?” she managed to ask after a deep breath. “Why didn’t you call?”

  Sam flicked a tear from her cheek with his thumb. “I didn’t call while you were in therapy because your psychologist asked me not to. He thought you should be free to work on you instead of worrying about us.”

  “But…”

  “Yeah, I know. I should’ve gone with my gut and called anyway. I’m sorry.”

  “Then why didn’t you call when you first received my journal?” He wasn’t getting off the hook that easy.

  Sam’s expression turned sheepish. “It took me a whole day to get up the nerve to read it. I thought…you were trying to tell me goodbye.”

  She could certainly understand that. The two of them hadn’t ever been the best communicators.

  “Well, that’s an excuse for one day. What about yesterday? After you did read it.”

  “I was busy.”

  “At work?” She couldn’t understand. He seemed so eager to tell her he loved her but something else had kept him away for a full day?

  Reaching into his jacket pocket, Sam pulled out a small blue velvet box. “Not at work. In fact, before you open this, I need to tell you something. I resigned.”

  She hadn’t breathed since he’d produce
d the box, but she inhaled with those words and said, “You quit? What are you going to do?”

  “I was planning on going back to the ranch. But now…” He hesitated and his words trailed off.

  He opened the box and she stared down at the most beautiful emerald ring she had ever seen. “Will you and Mikey marry me, Grace? We’ll live wherever you want to live. I’d be happy living on the moon if you two are there with me.”

  He slipped the ring on her finger. “Say yes.”

  Her eyes blurred as she stared up into the face of the man she loved more than life. “Yes. Yes. Yes! Mikey and I would love to marry you. And if we have a choice, we choose the ranch over the moon, please.”

  She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him again. This time she wanted to let him know how she felt. Sinking into him, she put all her dreams and hopes for their future into the kiss. But she couldn’t get close enough. Their clothes kept getting in the way.

  As he came up for air, Sam chuckled and said in a raspy tone, “Easy there. It’s a little too wide-open here for that. We have lots of time. All the time in the world. Let’s go find somewhere to be alone.”

  The sun burst through the leaves as he helped her to her feet. Yes, they had lots of time. A whole lifetime full of happy tomorrows. She couldn’t wait.

  Epilogue

  Sam stood in the yard behind his old family homestead watching as his new bride picked up their son and danced him around to the two-step music.

  He couldn’t believe his luck. Grace was the most gorgeous bride he had ever seen. She’d let her hair grow out to its natural dark chestnut color. It bounced seductively against the silver satin material on her shoulders while she whirled and twirled.

  The two of them were working hard on learning to communicate with each other. As he’d suspected, they’d found they had the same values and the same dreams for the future. And now that they were almost finishing each other’s sentences, he figured they’d be a good fit for the next sixty years or so.