Totally Fishy (A Miller Sisters Mystery)

by Gale Borger

  Luis and Alfredo pulled up short as a chair scraped across the floor into their path. Startled, Luis said the first thing that came to mind. "Hello, may I help you?"

  "Uh, no. I mean Yes." Mark looked around the diner frantically. "My uh, brother and I wanted to ask if you would like to join us." Tom shot him a murderous look and Mark frantically pulled words out of the air. "It's so crowded in here you could be uh, crushed to death by the crowd. Tom kicked him again and Mark winced. "You never know how long you got to live so you might as well make new friends for the short time you're still alive. Tom kicked him again and Mark jumped. The Gallegos brothers eyed him oddly.

  "I–I mean life is short and we are on vacation amigo, would you care to join us?"

  Luis and Alfredo looked at each other and Tom rolled his eyes. "What my brother is trying so clumsily to say is that we are new in town and we're wondering about the local attractions. Would you like to join us and tell us about the area?"

  Luis laughed and jabbed Alfredo with his elbow. "To tell you the truth, my brother and I are also new to the town, but I think we would like to join you and get acquainted. What a coincidence that we should meet two brothers from our home country right here in White Bass Lake, eh, Alfredo?"

  Mark murmured, "So much for Mexico City," and Tom blasted him again. Mark sent him a killer look, but Alfredo had already pulled up a chair. Mark rubbed his sweaty palms along his pant legs and shook Alfredo's hand. Tom addressed the Gallegos brothers and began the conversation. "So what brings you so far from home?"

  "Well," Alfredo began, "My brother and I are the assistants to a wonderful scientist, Dr. Evo Castillo, and he discovered this small lagoon in Venezuela…"

  Tom quietly clicked the laptop closed and slipped it back into its case as the Gallegos brothers spilled the entire story, including the doomed shopping excursion and the party at Fred Miller's.

  Tom and Mark paid close attention to the details of where the scientists were staying, and made mental notes to check out the territory.

  Lunch came and went with the usual fanfare at Sal's Diner, with many speculative glances thrown their way. Mark looked as if he might doze off, and Tom nudged him under the table to keep him awake.

  "So, what kind of plans do you have for your vacation?" Tom eyed the brothers.

  Giggling like schoolboys, Luis told them he and his brother planned to visit Great America. "Say, why do you not join us? You are on vacation, and I cannot wait to ride a rollercoaster."

  Having read the brochure at the motel, Tom said, "Sure. Oh, wait! We have to visit a sick relative first, so you go on ahead, and maybe we can get together another time."

  "Oh?" Alfredo looked puzzled. "I thought you had no family here?"

  "Hah. Did I say that? Well uh, she is not really family, but just like family. She's a friend of our mother's, and we have not seen her since we were small boys. Poor Juanita."

  Mark chimed in, "And her husband Carlos, who has cancer, poor fellow."

  Tom gave Mark the stink-eye, but the Gallegos brothers bought the story, and Tom secretly breathed a sigh of relief. Luis told Mark and Tom that the invitation still stood, and if their visit ran short, they could meet them at Great America tomorrow before five. The party broke up after that, and Mark wished Luis and Alfredo a long life before he climbed into the Cooper.

  Tom was livid. "What were you trying to prove in there, you idiot?"

  "What do you mean, like when you kicked me again and again?"

  "I kicked you to try to shut you up. And what was that wishing you good health and a long life bit? What kind of a smart-ass are you?"

  Mark yawned large. "Oh, lighten up, Tom. I was just being polite. I don't know what happened. When we talked about the job back home it sounded like a great idea. Don't get mad at me, but I think this hit man stuff ain't all it's cracked up to be."

  Tom sighed. "Don't feel bad. I figured that out back in Lima. So what are we going to do?"

  Mark scratched his belly. "Don't know. Let's sleep on it and we'll figure things out in the morning."

  They made the rest of the trip to the motel in silence. Once in their room, Tom flopped into the only chair and saw Mark slide into his swim trunks. Tom furrowed his brow and asked, "Now what are you doing?"

  "I'm taking a dip. Did you see all those beautiful women down by the pool? I'm gonna get me some-o'-that!"

  "Like hell you are! You're going to stay right here and help me plan."

  "Not now, little brother, I am going trolling. Maybe I'll get the catch of the week." He slipped out the door before Tom could grab him.

  Tom sighed and pulled out the laptop. He hooked up to the Internet again and began to surf. He Googled some of the names mentioned by Luis and Alfredo. "Hmm," he said out loud. "Great America. The two morons–geez, I can't even call them that anymore." Angrily he punched more keys.

  "Luis and Alfredo are going to Great America tomorrow. Roller coasters, water rides, fun for the whole family. Crowded. Daytime. Perfect. That's where we'll get 'em." He retrieved directions and wrote everything down.

  Satisfied, he took a shower and crawled into bed. Lacing his fingers behind his head he thought about Luis and Alfredo Gallegos. It was stupid to meet them. They were actually pretty decent guys. Tom hated the fact that they had names; it made them real people, not just anonymous targets. The two morons thought they'd met new friends. Little did they know they'd invited a couple of murderers into their lives with open arms. Humph. They were Morons; didn't they know never to trust strangers? Maybe they deserved to be knocked off.

  It was especially hard to cry off the Great America trip. Good thing he'd made up that sick relative story. They promised to meet them later if they were available. Available? Hell. I'll be available to watch as we blow you to smithereens.

  Tom rubbed his fists into his eyes, trying to block the picture of flying body parts and spraying blood. It was no use. What a poor excuse for a hit man. He turned off his light and pulled the covers over his head. Tears leaked from his eyes as he thought of innocence lost and what people would do for a little money.

  Mark crept into the room about three hours later; still dry because he'd never gone to the pool. He hoped Tom didn't find out he'd gone back to the tavern to visit with his new "family." He drank soda so his tongue wouldn't slip up; he kicked back with some new acquaintances, shot some pool, and threw a few darts. He changed clothes in the car and sat in the parking lot for a while, thinking about their job.

  I hope that Tom has more of a killer instinct than I do, because right now I want to walk away from the whole thing. Mark dropped his clothes on the floor. He brushed his teeth and crawled into bed. He hoped for a miracle, like on TV. Maybe they wouldn't have to murder the two morons and the Big Boss wouldn't find them. Maybe we can live happily ever after right here in Wisconsin.

  Now who's the moron, Mark? Fat chance. He figured they commit murder, get caught, fry in the electric chair, never getting to spend the money for which they'd thrown away their lives. We're dead men either way. Good things never happened to guys like us. He closed his eyes and dreamed of Big Macs doing the chicken dance in Wisconsin.

  * * *

  Waking with new resolve, Tom threw a pillow at Mark. "Wake up, you party animal, we have a job to do. We can grab breakfast in White Bass Lake before the two morons leave for Illinois. We'll stop back here, pick up the car bomb, and then go to Great America. I found it on MapQuest it last night and it looks easy enough to find. If the two morons are as dumb as I think they are, they suspect nothing and won't have found the homing device we put on their car last night."

  Stretching, Mark tried for nonchalance. "Sounds good to me. I hope we finish by supper. I'm going to 'throw some shoes' tonight with my new family. They said it is great fun." He grabbed a towel and ducked into the bathroom.

  Tom scratched his head and waited for Mark to reappear. "What does that mean, throw your shoes? Who are you throwing shoes at?"

  Mark looked at his n
ew Vans. "I don't know, but I hope they give mine back, I just bought these yesterday."

  They grabbed some breakfast at McDonald's because it was quick and close, and zipped back to the room to pick up the bomb. Mark grabbed some motel brochures for Great America and other local destinations, and they waited by the Interstate for the Gallegos brothers to arrive.

  Alfredo and Luis were not long in coming, and spotted the red Cooper right away. They pulled off the road to see if Mark and Tom needed help.

  "You guys okay? If your little car broke we can help. We're going to Great America so we can ride you that far."

  Mark ducked and started putting on like he was a bad ass, hoping to discourage the brothers from taking them with them. "You muthas ain't ridin' me nowhere. Chumps."

  Tom biffed him in the chest, fumbled with the key, and the cooper suddenly came to life. "Thanks anyway, we're okay–overheated a little, I guess. We were just checking the map to make sure we were going the correct way to the hospital. We're visiting Aunt Juanita today. She's scheduled for chemotherapy later, so we're going early."

  Luis furrowed his brow. "I thought you said your Uncle Carlos had cancer?"

  Alfredo said, "No, I distinctly heard a family friend had cancer, not an uncle."

  Mark barked, "It was. Uh, I mean we just call her Aunt Jemimah."

  Tom poked him. "Juanita."

  "Juanita, that's right." Mark lowered his head and shook it slowly, sounding sad. "Poor Juanita."

  Tom mentally scrambled for the lie from the night before. "Yes, that's correct, but Aunt Juanita almost had a heart attack last night worrying over Uncle Diego–I mean Carlos. Carlos Diego. Cancer. Poor Uncle Carlos. Poor Aunt Juanita. Tom wiped his eyes with his T-shirt.

  Luis looked from one to the other. "Well, good luck. Sorry to hear about your aunt. Catch up with us later if you can."

  The Gallegos brothers waved them as they pulled around the Cooper. Mark waved back, then fell back when Tom backhanded him in the chest. "What are you doing? Can't you get a simple story straight? Aunt Jemimah?"

  Mark looked sheepish. "I was remembering breakfast. Sorry. Anyway, I was being friendly. What was I supposed to do? Besides, they aren't bad guys, just dead guys. It's not like they'd rob us or nothin'."

  "If people around here will take your shoes, they might try to take our car. Don't forget, those guys are strangers too. We need our car."

  "Do you think I can buy another pair of shoes in case I don't get mine back after I throw them? I liked the mall. We could get some kick-ass shoes at the mall. Look!" Mark pointed to the map. "There is a mall near Great America. Let's go, what do you say?"

  Tom blew out an exasperated sigh. "Maybe we can just steal a pair of shoes and you won't have to worry about them anymore."

  Mark looked slyly at Tom. "Hmm. I don't know; I sure had fun at the mall. They had an ice cream store right there inside! I'd like to go to a mall again sometime."

  Tom was thoughtful. "Hmm, ice cream is always a plus. Yes, I'd like to go again, too."

  Mark smiled contently and settled into his seat. He could get through this. He would finish the job and then say goodbye to Tom. He would stay here with his new family and friends. Today would be a piece of cake. "I'm glad you agree."

  13

  Ian undid the locks and a large smiling man lumbered through the door of his lab.

  "Hank," both Sam and Fred screeched. Racing to the changing room, they grabbed him from opposite sides. They bounced up and down, hugging him and talking at the same time.

  "What are you doing here?"

  "Did you hear about Evo's fish?"

  "It's so good to see you."

  "Did you bring us new fish?"

  "When did you get in?"

  "Have you spawned any C-3383s yet?"

  "When did you get back from Venezuela?"

  "Have you named your new babies yet?"

  "We're so glad you're here!"

  Hank hugged them both at the same time. He stepped back and laughed. "Whoa girls, let me get a word in. Let's see if I can answer your questions. Ian called me in, yes, it's great to see you too, no, today, yes, today again, yes, and I'm happy to be here too." He hugged them both again.

  He looked at me and pointed. "You are definitely one of Freddie's sisters. Hmm, Buzz or Mag? I know you're not Alexandra, because you're not wearing high heels."

  We laughed and I replied, "Buzz, Mr. MacRone. I have a few of your fish."

  "Now there's a good girl." Hank held out his hand and I took it. My world immediately closed in and I tried to ignore feeling of vertigo that came over me when his hand touched mine. A dark wave of nausea swooped through me and I grabbed for something to hold onto. Hank must have let go of me because the air cleared and my vision returned to normal.

  I found myself sitting in a chair with everyone looking at me. J.J. stood next to me and had a hand on my shoulder, kneading it gently. I blinked and shook my head. The last thing I remembered was shaking hands with–

  I would have shot out of the chair, but J.J. held me down. Voices mumbled around me, and I focused on them. J.J.'s rich tones filled my head and I zeroed in on him.

  "…all the excitement. I'm sure she'll be okay in a minute. Why don't you go on and show Hank around. We'll catch up later."

  The voices faded and I heard Fred say, "I still have a bunch of offspring from your fish, Hank, and I've enjoyed them immensely. I'd love for you to come and see what I've done with them."

  J.J. knelt in front of me. Taking my hands in his, he looked back at Hank, and then at me. "What happened, Buzz? You came apart after you took MacRone's hand. Is he a bad guy?"

  Still a little disoriented, I simply nodded. "I don't know why or how, but foul energy poured off him, J.J. It knocked me over."

  "Should I toss him now?"

  "No, let's see what he wants first, okay?"

  J.J. nodded stiffly. I could see he was tense, but he didn't go after Hank.

  Almost back to normal (whatever that means), I put on a genial face and watched the little group approach. "Take a lesson in gentlemanly manners, Connor," Mag said out of the corner of her mouth and strolled into the lab.

  Ian opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted once again by banging on the outer door. "Is the whole damn town going to show up today?"

  The smiling faces of Jack Bordy and Jack Jr. greeted Ian as they hauled two large coolers through the door. "Specimens," they echoed each other.

  Sr. continued, "They arrived Fed Ex a few minutes ago and we saw all the cars so we brought them down. Thought you'd want them quick."

  Ian hefted one of the coolers. "Thanks guys. Suit up and come on in."

  Sr. grabbed a gown. "Thanks, Ian, don't mind if we do."

  Jr. poked his father. "This don't look like no strip joint I ever seen, Dad."

  Sr. calmly stood on Jr.'s toes. "Shut up and listen, boy. Shut up and learn."

  Ian was about to close the door when it jerked open again and my sister, Al slipped through.

  Crap. Just what I need.

  She took in the entire room. "Boy, Ian, did you invite the whole town over today?"

  "Shut up, Al," Fred said. "Why'd you let her in, Ian?"

  Ian stepped forward. "I asked her to come out."

  Our gazes flew to Mag who laughed. "Don't get your undies in a bundle, little Freddie. Ian has a computer glitch and Al is going to fix it."

  Fred stared with an incredulous look on her face. "You mean Al actually knows something useful?"

  "There's a lot about me you don't know, dweeb child." She turned her back on Fred, and Fred stuck out her tongue.

  Al swept by me with her nose in the air and I swatted at the fumes she left in her wake. "Whew. I sure know who's wearing too much perfume."'

  "You're so lame, Buzz, you're almost as immature as Fred."

  I grabbed Fred when her hands turned into claws and she went for Al's throat. "Whoa, Trigger. Not here, and not now. Ian asked for her help."
r />   "Then I'm leaving. I refuse to breathe the same stinking air as that evil bitch."

  I still had a hold of her and she began to squirm. "Come on, Fred, don't be a baby. Why you let her get to you like that, I don't know."

  "Leave me alone, Buzz." She struggled to get out of my grasp. "Let me just kick her ass and I'll be happy."

  "Take a 'lude, baby girl or she'll impale you on a stiletto." I didn't want to hurt Fred, and my reluctance to do so gave her a distinct advantage. The little shit slipped out of my grasp and had an arm around my neck before I knew it. I struggled but my airway was becoming smaller by the second. I wrestled with her for a few more seconds and heard J.J. laugh. I finally got pissed off enough that I raised my elbow to jam it in her side when Sam came over. She touched Fred's arm and said, "Take a breath, my friend. Come and talk with me."

  Sam gently took Fred's arm from around my throat. The half-nelson Fred had on me eased and I sucked in a much needed breath. I rubbed my neck. "Shit head," I muttered irritably, "I was only trying to keep her from getting killed by Al. I'll remember next time to let Al have her for lunch." Sam ignored me and took Fred across the room, speaking softly.

  J.J leaned over, ruffled my hair, and whispered, "Al sure brings out the best in people, doesn't she?"

  I jerked my head out of the way. "Al's mostly a pain in the ass. She's just a bitch the rest of the time. What's up with Fred? Makes me wonder about the advantages of being an only child."

  He chuckled and ruffled my hair again. "It's not half as much fun as you guys have–believe me."

  Ignoring my crabby attitude, he threw an arm around my neck and we walked to where Ian and Hank stood in deep conversation over a particular slide. I poked J.J. in the ribs, and he danced back, rubbing his side. "Yo, woman, that smarts."

  "Yep, and don't you forget it."

  He gave me an injured look. "If you ask me, all you Millers are a pain in the ass."

  "Yes we are, and don't you forget that either, Green."

  Hank chuckled. "How long have you two been married?"