“William explained to me what happened.” She sat down on the corner of my bed, placing her hands over mine. “I believe William and Olivia were only concerned about hurting your feelings.” Her soft, blue eyes were filled with sincerity.
“Perhaps.” I sobbed as she handed me her handkerchief. “But what bothers me the most is that they all deceived me. They made a fool of me in front of everyone.”
My mother wrapped her arms around me and let me cry on her shoulder. “I do not honestly believe that was anyone’s intention. And no one believes you to be a fool.”
“But Jackson did not tell me. And for William and Miss Olivia to…” I sobbed. “Jackson, he’s supposed to be in love with me, tell me everything. There are not supposed to be any secrets between us. I would never do this to him; betray his trust like this.”
She finally released me and wiped the tears off my cheeks and then cradled my face in her hands.
“Jocelyn, you are a smart, beautiful, young lady, and I understand why you feel hurt and betrayed. You honestly have every right to but downstairs there are three people who are hurting because they hurt you.” She sighed.
I could only hope that someday I would have her grace, patience, and objectivity.
“I believe now is the time for forgiveness, to remember how much each of them means to you and how much you mean to them.”
I nodded my head, understanding exactly what she wanted me to do.
“Now, let’s clean up your face. Everyone is wondering where you are. Of course, I told them that you were tired and decided to lie down for a while.”
Her comforting smile gave me the strength to stand.
I returned to the porch to find the three of them still there. Olivia was sitting on the swing next to William, who had his arm around her. William and Jackson rose as I approached, while Olivia still cried into her handkerchief. Jackson slowly approached me with a distressed look on his face.
He led me over to the double lounge rocker by the swing. Olivia looked over at me as I sat down.
“Jocelyn,” she began, “please try to understand.”
But I wouldn’t allow it.
“Olivia, please.”
I held up my hand to stop her from continuing. “I can handle tears from anyone but you. You have nothing to be upset about. I behaved badly, and for that I apologize. I understand why you all had your concerns.” Although I honestly didn’t. “But I am truly happy for you both.” I did my best to smile and put the circumstances of the evening, along with their deception, out of my mind and attempted to focus on the joy of the situation.
“Jocelyn?” William began, still holding Olivia in his arms.
“William, seriously, it is all right.” I had had more than enough for the evening. Thankfully, Jackson leaned over and asked me if I wanted to take a walk alone with him.
The full moon glowed off the cobblestone walkway, illuminating the path before us. The air was crisp and clean, and the smell of autumn was thick. I linked my arm through his as we walked slowly, enjoying the peaceful time we shared alone together.
“Jocelyn, will you please allow me to explain my actions?”
I opened my mouth to stop him, but he paused and placed his finger to my lips. I smiled and kissed his finger before he lowered it again.
“Your brother and Miss Olivia have been writing to each other since the fall term resumed. William apparently began courting her shortly before the end of summer, and they are both very happy. I believe it is wonderful after all that she has been through since losing Mr. Donovan.”
Olivia had been in love with Sean Donavon for three years before last spring when he had passed away from pneumonia. They had gotten engaged the summer before, and she was devastated when she lost him. She had stayed in bed for months, and only toward the middle of the summer did she begin to rejoin social gatherings. Jackson sighed deeply before continuing. “William makes her very happy, and they seem very much in love with each other. I know they were concerned that with you and William being so close and Miss Olivia being your dearest friend their union might upset you. Neither of them intended to hurt you.”
That sounded a tad bit flimsy, and I didn’t buy it. There had to be something else, but I held my tongue. Instead, I wrapped my arms around Jackson’s neck and kissed him on the cheek.
“Thank you for being honest with me.”
I stepped back, looking at his beautiful smile. His dimples deepened as his smile reached his eyes.
The wind gently blew through his hair, lifting it slightly, and adding emphasis to the slight curls in his hair. His hat shifted a touch, causing him to readjust it. I laughed at him as he cocked it to the side and gave me a jaunty grin.
“I love you, my darling,” he declared in the moonlight.
“I love you too,” I whispered back, completely in awe of him.
“Do you realize that in just over two months we will be husband and wife?”
“I cannot wait.”
Jackson held both my hands in his as we stood facing each other. He finally turned, and we slowly resumed our walk.
“You realize that it is going to be an enormous affair.”
He glanced over at me, and I could feel he was heading somewhere with this. I nodded to gently urge him to continue.
“Well…”
He stammered, and I knew this could not be good.
“How would you feel about us having a double wedding?” He spoke very quietly.
I unsuccessfully attempted to conceal my shock.
“Seriously?”
He nodded with a weak smile.
I stopped dead in my tracks and stared at him. He did not seem to grasp the seriousness of what he was asking of me. For as long as I could remember, I had been dreaming of my wedding day. Now that it was so close and already painfully planned out with almost every little detail attended to, he wanted to alter everything.
“Are you asking me if I mind if William and Olivia have a double ceremony with us?”
I could not believe my ears. Please let him be kidding.
“Yes, I am. Your brother asked me several weeks ago when he proposed.”
“William already spoke with her father?” This was also news to me.
Jackson barely nodded.
“When?”
“Almost a month ago, I think. He spoke with Mr. Adams and proposed to her one weekend when we came home from school. Jackson looked at the stones, refusing to meet my eye.
“So then everyone knows about this?”
Jackson nodded slightly without looking up at me. I truly was the last one to know. The full degree of their deception grew a hundredfold. Suddenly, I was angry and hurt all over again.
“Yes,” Jackson replied in a weak tone, “and now William has asked me, well, us, if there is any possibility that we could have a double wedding.”
I started to speak but again, he placed his finger up to my lips.
“Now before you get upset, think about how much you love both of them,” he pleaded. “I understand that our wedding is the most important day of our lives for us but I was thinking that it would be all the more special if we shared it with the two of them.” He looked deep into my eyes, begging me for compliance before he finally kissed the top of my head.
I felt trapped in an impossible situation with no way out. I was so hurt and angry that I could not find the right words to say. So I smiled and nodded. What else could I do?
We wandered back up the cobblestone pathway toward my home. I did my best not to focus on the entirety of the situation. It felt like a nightmare I could not awaken from. I could not believe they would even consider intruding on our special day. Doing something like that to someone else was inconceivable to me. How could they both be so thoughtless and inconsiderate? Especially Olivia. Certainly she of all people understands what my wedding day meant to me.
Upon our return to the house, I played my part by smiling and being graceful and polite. I hugged both William and O
livia and expressed my delight in their nuptials. I also informed them that I would be thrilled to share my wedding with them. Before retiring for the evening, I smiled accordingly when Patrick formally toasted the announcement of our double wedding. I did not want to feel this selfish, but I simply could not fathom why they were in such a rush to be married and could not wait and plan their own ceremony at some other time. I hated being manipulated into sharing my wedding.
CHAPTER 3
Sunday, October 11, 2009
I WOKE EARLY TO THE SOUND of the basketball bouncing off the asphalt driveway and laughter outside my window. I crawled out of bed and over to my bay window seat to peek through the blinds. Kyle, his younger brother, Brandon, Ethan, and Jackson were shootin’ hoops. I considered opening the window and shouting at them for being so loud this early in the morning, but instead I sat there, watching them for several minutes before making my way to the bathroom.
After breakfast, I decided to go outside and practice hoops with everyone. Much to my pleasant surprise, Jenna had also appeared. It shocked me, considering she never rose before noon on a Sunday. The incredible noise the guys were making must have awakened her also.
I crossed the porch to the driveway and I could already hear their juvenile antics. Jenna saw me coming and threw the ball at me. I caught it and expertly hit an easy three-point shot. The boys laughed and Jenna gave me a smirk.
“Show off!”
I glared over at my brother. “What’s with all the noise so early in the morning?”
“Just havin’ fun.” He gave me a brotherly shove.
Jackson approached me with an amazing smile on his beautiful face and his hand extended. “Sorry. I haven’t gotten the chance to properly introduce myself. I am Jackson Chandler.”
His hand barely brushed my fingers in his attempt to shake mine when complete darkness overwhelmed me. Suddenly, my head hit the asphalt with a loud thump.
I woke up on the sun porch lounge with everyone standing over me like I was some specimen to be studied. As I slowly opened my eyes, the nausea took a strong hold of me and everything I had eaten for breakfast instantly came back up and landed on the rug. The cold sweats and uneasiness were holding a firm grip over my entire body. My mom touched my forehead with a cool washcloth.
“It’s okay, sweetie. Don’t worry about that. I’ll clean it up.”
“I’m sorry,” I barely muttered as she hurried away to retrieve the cleaning supplies and bucket under the sink.
Jenna came over and sat down beside me. “Are you okay?” Her face was full of concern.
I nodded.
“Is it the same as before?”
Again, I nodded. “I think you have the flu.”
“Probably.”
“Well, at least this will get you out of school tomorrow.” She laughed. “And nice bump.” She touched the side of my face, which hadn’t hurt at all until her fingers brushed it.
I winced in pain. “Ouch.”
“That’s gonna leave a mark. Just in time too for the homecoming dance. But I’m sure we can cover it with some makeup.”
My mom returned and cleaned up the mess I’d made, bringing with her a smaller, plastic wastebasket to set beside me.
Jenna and the guys lingered about the sun porch, discussing the upcoming game on Friday and Jackson’s first day of school tomorrow. Jackson sat directly across from me on a wicker chair with floral cushions, looking completely comfortable and at ease with my friends and family. It seemed rather odd to me that he just sort of melted into our group the way he did, like it was the most natural thing in the world to him.
By noon, my mom had insisted that I retreat to my room for the remainder of the day. The boys returned outside to shoot hoops, but at least Jenna came with me to keep me company.
I hated being isolated in my room during the day. My attempts to reassure my mom that I was now feeling better were completely fruitless. Jenna had let it slip that this wasn’t the first incident, making my mom all the more concerned.
“If it happens one more time I’m taking you to the office for an examination.”
There was nothing worse than that. So I remained banished to my room on probably the last beautiful Sunday of the year, and I was not happy about it. I flopped down across my bed in frustration and flipped on the television, but as usual, there was nothing good. So Jenna put in a movie.
I picked up one of my pillows and threw it at Jenna. “This sucks. I feel fine now. Why did you tell her about yesterday?” I knew Jenna had the best intentions, but it still made me upset that her little comment put me in my room for the rest of the day and probably tomorrow as well.
“I’m sorry. I just wanted her to know that this happened before.”
“I know.”
She folded her legs up under her, sitting on the side of my bed. “So what do you think of Jackson?”
“Not sure.” I shrugged. “I haven’t even talked to him yet.”
“He’s really nice. And, man, is he gorgeous!” Jenna said.
“Jenna!”
“Oh, stop it. Like you didn’t notice. I might have a boyfriend, but I’m not blind.” She laughed. “He’s asked me all kinds of questions about you.” An evil grin spread across her face.
“Really?” She nodded. “Like what?”
“Oh, just the usual ones like, ‘Do you have a boyfriend? What do you like? Do you play sports?’ All that kind of stuff.” She bounced around on the corner of my bed.
“What did you tell him?” I hated to admit I was curious.
“I told him you’re great, that you play softball, basketball, volleyball,” she paused, laughing, “and that you are very available.”
“You didn’t! How could you do that to me?” I could already feel the blood rushing to my face.
“I didn’t say anything that wasn’t true,” she defended herself. “Besides, he’s gorgeous and new in town, which makes him all the more mysterious. He’s from Boston, so he has that sexy accent. He’s tall, built. What else do you want, Jocelyn?” Jenna could be so impossible sometimes.
“Are you kidding? I don’t even know him. I’ve never even spoken to him.” It was just like her to do something like this, always messin’ with things that weren’t her business.
“But that will soon change. Besides, did you notice last night that he sat beside you on the couch?”
The coy look on her face was starting to make me nauseous again, but not in the same way.
“That doesn’t count. I was asleep,” I lied.
“He was also one of the last to leave last night. He was here first thing in the morning to get Ethan and Kyle to play ball. Plus, he was the one who carried you inside after you passed out.” That I didn’t know.
“Yeah. Well, he also saw me throw up. Very romantic.” I covered my face with one of my throw pillows.
She shrugged her shoulders casually. “True. And believe me, it’s unfortunate, but at least he didn’t leave. That’s a good sign.”
She tried to reassure me, but I wasn’t quite convinced. Something like that was truly tragic in front of someone you’re trying to impress, not that I was trying to impress him. Well, not really.
“Yeah. A great sign,” I grumbled at Jenna, who, in return, tossed a pillow at me. I fell backward against the bed when it hit me.
“You know, it’s not so bad having a boyfriend living so close by.” She walked over to the bay window and sat down to watch them for a few minutes. “It’s comforting to know he’s so close.”
“Jenna, I’m not…” I paused. “I’m not looking for a new boyfriend. I just want to finish high school and go off to college. I don’t have time for all the drama of a boyfriend.”
“Jocelyn, you haven’t had a boyfriend since our freshman year.” She came back over to the bed and sat down beside me. “I know how hard it was when Danny moved, but that was a couple years ago.”
“You know he still e-mails.” I had never shared that information with her before
. I knew she’d be too judgmental and think I was holding on to him and the past.
“You’re kidding!”
I shrugged casually. “Every once in a while but not very often anymore.” Which was true. Danny moved on with his life. He’d posted a junior prom picture of him and his new girlfriend on Facebook. It ripped my heart out to see him with her, but he did look happy. We had been together for three years when his dad was transferred to Fresno, California.
Jenna broke my train of thought. “I’m sorry. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“’Cause I knew you’d think it was a bad idea.”
“I do.” Judgmental.
“Well, don’t worry ‘cause he’s moved on and has a new girlfriend. I’m over him. My goodness. We were kids, Jenna. And, seriously, my not wanting a boyfriend has nothing to do with Danny.”
However, she and I both knew that wasn’t entirely true.
Jenna and I spent the remainder of the day watching movies and talking. We were both so bored, and I truly appreciated that she spent her day keeping me company rather than enjoying her Sunday with everyone else.
For the next several hours, we could hear the boys outside, but as the sun began to set on the long day, the hollowness of the house disappeared and became alive with laughter and conversation from the rooms below.
After six, Jenna left me to join the others before she headed home. I spent the next two hours negotiating with my parents until I managed to convince them that I felt fine and it was just a twenty-four-hour bug. I wanted desperately to go to school tomorrow after spending the day confined to my room. I was restless and going stir crazy, so much so that I was even happy when Ethan came to see me before he went to bed.
His hair was wet, and he smelled like soap from the shower as he sat down at the foot of my bed.
“Feelin’ better?” I nodded. “Mom says you want to go to school tomorrow. Sure that’s a good idea? You’ve been sick all weekend.”
“I feel fine, E. They’re being overcautious. I’m so sick of being in this room I could scream.”
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