“Father, please do something! Stop this!” I approached my father and demanded.
“Jocelyn, they are fine. Trust me,” he responded softly.
I stood there, helpless, watching William and Jackson rolling around, soaked to the bone with blood and mud smeared across their faces and clothes. I could hear Olivia’s sobs behind me and all of our mothers’ small noises whenever another punch was thrown by one of the boys.
All of us were getting drenched as the rain picked up its momentum. The intensity of the screams from both Jackson and William began to slow, along with their movements. Jackson had worn William out to the point that William laid on his back in the yard and gave way to a burst of hysterical tears and sobs. Jackson rested beside him in the rain, purely exhausted.
Robert gently guided Benjamin’s arm and then my father’s. “Let us leave them alone. It is over. They need some privacy.”
Olivia and her parents bid us all good night and went home. I knew Olivia had wanted to speak with William about everything that had been decided for them, but she would have to wait a little longer.
William and Jackson should have left for school hours ago, but the events of the day had prevented their departure. I was not even sure if they would be returning tomorrow morning or what their plans were. I wanted to wait for them to come inside but my mother sent me upstairs to bed.
I soaked in a hot bubble bath for a while, trying to warm myself back up from the freezing chill and wetness outside. I hated myself for being so thankful that I was not Olivia and facing what lay ahead of her and William, but I also felt guilty because I knew in my heart it could have been just as easily Jackson and me instead.
Mimi came in and brushed out my hair as I sat on the corner of my bed. I could no longer hear any voices from downstairs, and I wondered if Jackson and his parents had gone home as well.
“Long day,” Mimi stated rather than asked.
“Yes. I suppose you heard everything.” I laughed. I knew she had. She always did.
“Yes’m.”
“What do you think about all this?” Her opinion truly mattered to me. She was a very wise woman who had seen so much in her years.
“Not m’ place ta say.”
Mimi sat down beside me and lovingly took my hands in hers.
“I am asking.”
“I’s think tha’ Miss Olivia is n’ fo’ a very long pregnancy, but it’ll help a great deal havin’ ya ere wif er.”
“I am not so sure. She is not exactly happy with me these days.”
“She jus’ needs sum time ta ajus.”
“I know. We spoke a little today, and that helped, but I know she cannot be thrilled at the prospect of living here as opposed to her own house.”
“Er fatha will not allow er ta live at home, so yar ma offered er ta live ere. Mr. Adams is a great deal mo’ upset than he’s lettin’ on, and Mrs. Adams is a mighty cold woman n’ mys opinion.” She looked deeply disturbed.
“This is such a mess. Have you seen William and Jackson since they came in? Are they all right?” I asked softly.
“Fine. Fine. Jus’ sum bruises n’ scratches. Nothin’ serious.” She laughed. “Boys’ll be boys.”
“I suppose.” I sighed.
I still wanted to see Jackson to make sure he was fine. I was not even sure when I would get to see him again.
I snuggled down into bed while Eddie came in and stoked the fire to break the chill out of the night air. Within minutes, Mimi turned out the oil lamps and closed my door. I strained my ears to see if I could hear anything from my parents. I was positive that they were still awake but probably had retreated into Father’s study. The entire house was silent with the exception of the scuffing movements of our servants. At moments like these, I hated having such a large home. It made it impossible to hear what was going on.
CHAPTER 13
Sunday, October 18, 2009
JACKSON CALLED MY CELL AT ONE, waking the four of us. I hadn’t realized how late it had been when we finally drifted off and couldn’t believe we’d all slept in so late.
“Did I wake you?” he asked when I answered. Clearly he could tell.
“Yeah.” I rubbed the sleep out of eyes.
“Sorry. I figured you would be up by now.”
“Normally I am, but Jenna, Hilary, and Caitlyn spent the night.” I did my best to stifle back a yawn, but it escaped despite my best efforts.
“Not gossiping about boys now, were you?” he teased.
“Why would we waste our time?” Two can play this game.
“I am hurt. I just thought that perhaps since you all had boyfriends it might be a topic of conversation.” I could hear the smile on his lips, and it instantly brought one to mine.
“They have boyfriends.”
“And you do not.” He attempted to sound hurt. “Really?”
“Certainly not.”
“Now I am hurt and offended.” He laughed. “Then what am I?” I could tell he was enjoying himself.
“Just a friend who lives across the street.” I smiled, enjoying myself too.
“A friend? Is that all? You really do know how to hurt a guy.” He continued laughing. “So you are not mad at me?” He inquired.
“No. Should I be?”
“No.”
“Then why are you calling?” I teasingly demanded.
“Wow. Now look who is being rude.” The smile in his voice returned.
“Sorry, but you are the one who just woke me up, plus my friends,” I pointed out.
“I am sorry. I honestly did not mean to.” He paused, and I rolled my eyes to the three sets that were on me. “But I was calling to see if you wanted to help me catch up on biology and review a little more for the psychology exam tomorrow.
“Seriously? I haven’t even showered yet, and you’re already talking about studying?”
“Okay fine. You shower and throw on something comfortable, and I will fix you something to eat so you do not have to study on an empty stomach. How does that sound?”
I shifted the phone to my other hand, trying to turn away from the eavesdropping group beside me. “Are you serious? You want me to come over there and study and you’re going to fix me some breakfast?” All the eyes upon me widened, as did their smiles. Immediately, their heads began shaking for me to say yes. “All right. Fine. Give me about an hour.”
“Wonderful. I shall see you then.” He hung up before I could say anything else.
I set the phone back on my nightstand and all three of them jumped up, fully awake and completely excited.
“Oh, my God!” Hilary started in. “This is great!” She jumped around the room and then headed for my closet. “We’ve got to find you the perfect outfit, something he hasn’t seen you in yet.” I rolled my eyes at her but couldn’t help but laugh also.
“You want to tell me again how you’re not interested in him?” Caitlyn smirked.
“Really,” Jenna agreed.
“It’s studying. That’s all. Now I’m getting into the shower.”
I left the three of them all giddy like junior high girls over a boy’s phone call.
***
Jackson answered the front door wearing jeans and a cream-colored, long-sleeve, cotton shirt with three buttons at the top. Two were undone. The shirt really emphasized the muscular structure of his frame. His smile was warm and welcoming.
He stepped back and let me pass and of course, the now-familiar symptoms returned full force as I crossed over the threshold so close to him. I was suddenly extremely thankful that I had an empty stomach, but somehow, that did not stop the nausea. I became so lightheaded that I grabbed the doorknob to maintain my balance, accidently brushing against him. The muffled fog completely engulfed me again as I hit the floor the voices and images returned.
“Mother, Olivia invited me over this afternoon. May I please go?” A woman was standing next to the fireplace in what appeared to be my mother’s living room, but it was different. I scanned the roo
m, noticing all the variations. Then I really looked at whom I had just addressed as Mother. She was not my mother, and her clothes were ancient. She wore a beautiful, blue, full-length skirt and a long-sleeved, white blouse and her blonde hair was pulled up in a bun. This was wrong — the room, the woman, all of it. The woman turned to me and smiled. “Yes, Jocelyn. But please return by supper. You know your father will be upset if I have to send one of your brothers for you again.” She cautioned. Brothers? What? I only have one brother. What is going on?
“Jocelyn, are you all right?” I felt Emily dab my forehead with a cold washcloth. “Sweetheart, you fainted. Do you want me to call your mother?”
I slowly opened my eyes to find out only Emily kneeled beside me but Robert and Jackson also. I was so embarrassed.
“No. I’m sorry. I’m okay. I must just need to eat something.” I lied.
The last thing I wanted to do was put something in my queasy stomach. My head was still spinning, and everything sounded muffled in my ears. I wish Jackson would back away from me. I sat up slowly, feeling completely foolish.
“There is no need to apologize, Jocelyn.” Robert held out his hand to help me up.
I was thankful it wasn’t Jackson’s, because I had a feeling that if I touched him, I would be right back flat on the floor again.
“Easy now.” Robert’s eyes were soft and caring, just like Jackson’s.
“Thank you.” I stood. “Really, I’m very sorry. I feel so foolish.” I covered my face with my hands. I’m sure it looked as if I was trying to hide my embarrassment, but I was really trying to get my head to stop spinning.
Jackson picked up my scattered books and papers that had crashed out of my arms when I fell. “I will put these on the table for you.”
He walked out of the room, leaving me alone with his parents. Strangely, I felt really comfortable with them, even more so than I did with Jackson.
“It is all right, really. No need to feel foolish,” Emily reassured me. “It happens. There is no reason to be embarrassed.” She wrapped her arm around my shoulders and guided me into the kitchen.
I sat down at the breakfast bar, where Jackson or Emily or perhaps even Robert, I didn’t know which, had made brunch. There was a plate with scrambled eggs, a slice of ham, wheat toast, and a bowl of fresh fruit waiting me for. It looked fabulous, but my stomach was still too uneasy and I didn’t trust it.
Emily and Robert hung around the kitchen with us, probably just to make sure I wasn’t going to fall off the bar stool and crack my head open on the tile.
I picked at my food, eating only a little of the fruit and taking a couple bites of the toast. Just the sight and smell of the eggs and ham were making me queasy. If I was home, I would have put them in the trash to get them away from me, but since I wasn’t, I tried not to breathe through my nose so as not to be rude or insulting to my hosts.
“Is everything okay, Jocelyn?” Emily noticed I was only picking at my food.
Immediately, I sliced the ham and took a bite. “Yes. It’s delicious. I love it.” I lied, not wanting to hurt her feelings.
His parents hung around, making small talk until we finished eating.
Jackson finally announced we needed to get busy studying for our upcoming exams, so his parents excused themselves to the family room while we disappeared into the dining room.
Sitting in seats opposite of each other made Jackson a constant distraction for me. Every time I looked up, I could see his gorgeous face looking back at me, making it impossible for me to concentrate.
“Did you hear that Cody is having a costume party at his place on Halloween?” Jackson asked, flipping pages without really looking at them.
I tried to act like I was looking at our textbook. “Hilary said something about it last week. Are you planning on going?”
“Only if you agree to be my date.” His smile was irresistible.
“Your date? You’re not going to make me dress up in some ridiculous outfit, are you?” I smirked over at him.
“Of course.” He flashed his lop-sided grin that I loved.
I tapped my pen to act like I was bored with the idea. “What did you have in mind?”
“Actually, I was thinking of something classy rather than silly or scary.”
“Like what?”
“Want to do an era piece?”
“Depends on the era. I am not putting on a toga or something equally ridiculous. And I’m not going to dress up as Pebbles to your Bam Bam either.” I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Duly noted. I was thinking that we could dress up in something from the late 19th Century. What do you think?” He tilted his head to the side, his eyes glistening.
“Late nineteenth century?” Not exactly what I had in mind.
“Sure. Why not?” He shrugged.
“Isn’t that like old Victorian style?” I was pretty sure but not positive. History wasn’t exactly my favorite subject.
“Exactly.”
“I own absolutely nothing that would fit that kind of criteria.” I shook my head. “Sorry, but we’ll have to come up with something else.”
“Please think about it because my mother loves to sew and be creative. She will handle everything. Trust me. You will not have to worry about anything.” How can I say no to that smile?
“Okay, but are you sure she won’t mind? I don’t want to put her out. I mean, the party is only two weeks away. That’s not a lot of time to create two costumes from scratch.”
“Trust me. My mother truly enjoys these kinds of projects.” Jackson winked across the table, and my heart melted.
“Fine, then. I’ll go with you.”
“As my date?”
“Yes, as your date.” I smiled back.
“Thank you. Now if you will stop distracting me, I have an exam tomorrow to study for.” He winked again with a smile, causing my face to instantly burn red.
“Oh. Sorry.” I threw my pen across the table at him.
Emily announced that dinner was ready around five, forcing us to take a short break to eat. It felt so natural being here in this home with his family, almost like I’d been here numerous times before.
We studied both psychology and biology until almost seven in the evening. I don’t think I’d ever had so much fun studying before, nor have I ever felt so prepared for exams. I was positive that at least in these two classes, if Jackson and I continued to study like this together, I was going to ace both classes.
***
The air was clear and crisp and the stars were shining brightly against the darkened sky as Jackson walked me home. I wanted so badly for Jackson to put his arms around me and pulled me close to him. I wanted to snuggle up in his arms, run my fingers through his dark hair, and feel his lips touch mine, but I knew it was impossible with these constant episodes every time he touched me.
We stood on the front porch of my house, neither of us knowing what to say. It should have been an awkward moment, but oddly, it wasn’t. I fought against myself not to reach out and touch him, but there was no way I could risk fainting here.
To break the silence, I gestured toward the swing. “Do you want to sit down for a minute?”
“Sure.”
Even though the swing boards were cold through our clothes, I didn’t care and Jackson didn’t seem to either. I didn’t want to leave him even though I was chilled to the bone.
“Thank you for helping me catch up this weekend. I appreciate it. I had a really great time getting to know you better.”
I gazed over at him, feeling such a fire burning deep within me. It seemed so unfair that I had to have such negative side effects from him.
“You’re welcome. I had a good time too. Besides, you were right. Your parents are the best. I really enjoyed getting to know them and spending time with you also.”
“Do you feel ready for the exams?”
“Very.” I nodded stupidly.
“Me too.”
“We should do this before eve
ry exam.” Please say yes.
“I agree.”
We sat in silence, each on opposite ends of the swing. Jackson seemed nervous about getting too close to me. He smiled over at me, sliding his hand only inches from my hand that was rested on the swing. Suddenly, he stopped with a disappointed look on his face.
“I am sorry, Jocelyn. I do not know what to say about these, um, episodes that you are experiencing whenever I am near you. Are you all right now?”
His face was full of concern, so I nodded with a smile. Oddly, I was getting accustomed to the constant nausea and slight dizziness I felt around him.
“Good. Just making sure.” He smiled. “But I have to admit that it is very intriguing.”
I certainly didn’t think so. “And why is that?”
“I suppose every man enjoys a challenge.” He grinned slightly.
“Is that what I am to you? A challenge?” I wasn’t sure if I was insulted or flattered.
“I do not mean that in a bad way. What I mean to say is that I like you very much and these little episodes are quite inconvenient.” He sort of laughed but not really.
Jackson turned toward me, almost taking my hands in his, but, once again, he hesitated and placed them back in his lap. “Do you have any idea how much I would love to hold you in my arms?”
I was speechless. I wanted him to sweep me up in his arms, but I was terrified as to what the effects would be. “What do you think would happen if I did?”
“To be honest, I’m trying not to think of it.” And that was the truth. If I gave it any more thought, I just might be tempted enough to try it and to hell with the consequences. At that moment, I wouldn’t have cared if my mother dragged me kicking and screaming to the hospital if I had the chance to feel his arms around me just once.
Jackson’s smile widened at my response, which made it even more difficult to hug my end of the swing. “And why is that?”
“I believe you already know.”
“What, you are not attracted to me? Is that what you are saying and you just want to let me down easy, right?” He pretended to be hurt.
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