I climbed to my feet and made my way back over to my bed. Nothing made sense. There were no cages like that in any place I had ever seen before in my life. It was not a prison. I was somehow positive of that. And those girls, I knew them. But how? They did not go to my school, I was sure of it. And the clothes? I searched my brain but could not figure out what was going on with the clothes. They were bizarre. The girls had on pants and even short pants and those shirts showed their midsections. It was unbelievable. I had never seen anything like that before.
I closed my eyes and pulled the covers up over my head. My head was now throbbing, and I felt sick to my stomach. I rubbed by eyes, attempting to make some sense out of what I had seen. It was so strange. I was actually there. I swear it. And my watch, my gift from Jackson, I was holding it in my hand, showing it to these girls. How is that possible?
CHAPTER 17
Friday, October 23, 2009
I WOKE UP TO A DULL LIGHT glaring down at me. My head was throbbing and I couldn’t get my right eye to open. It felt stuck. I slowly turned my head, trying to figure out where I was but the movement instantly made me nauseous.
Noticing my movement, my mom was immediately within my field of vision. “Honey, you’re awake. How do you feel?”
I tried to reach up to touch my head but she gently took my hand in hers, stopping me. “No. Don’t,” she whispered in a soft voice.
“My head is killing me.” I groaned. “What’s wrong with my right eye? It feels like it’s stuck. Can you wipe it? There’s something in it.”
“Sweetie, you fractured your right eye socket and you have twelve stitches. Don’t try to touch it.” She sat down beside me, still holding my hand in hers.
“What? How?” I could barely remember what happened, but I knew I’d blacked out again.
“When you tripped, you hit the corner of your eye on the corner of the coffee table.” She explained in her soft tone.
I could feel the tears pouring over and running down my cheeks. A strong hand took hold of my other hand while she tried to wipe away my tears.
“It’s okay, honey. The stitches are right by your hairline and your mother called in a plastic surgeon friend of hers to make sure there would be no scar.” My dad squeezed my hand tenderly.
“Let me get you something for the pain. I’ll be right back.” My mom leaned and kissed me on the forehead. I suddenly felt four years old again and didn’t care.
“You know, honey, your friends and Jackson and even his parents have been here every day.” I turned my head gritting my teeth from the pain and trying not to vomit, just to look at my dad.
“What do you mean every day? I just hit my head a few hours ago.” Now I was really confused. “Didn’t I?”
“Two days ago, actually. It’s Friday evening, sweetie.”
This fact only made the tears come harder and my head hurt even more, if that were possible.
“Hey.” He rubbed my arm in an attempt to comfort me. “It’s okay. Everyone’s at the game right now, but you will see them soon. You’ve had numerous visitors. Your room is filled with flowers and balloons.” He chuckled. “It’s kind of ridiculous.”
He paused, waiting for me to say something, but I didn’t have anything to say, so he continued to ramble like he always does when he is nervous. “Can I ask you something without being too personal?”
“Sure, Daddy,” I squeaked, feeling so sick to my stomach. I just wanted someone to turn off that freakin’ overhead light. It was killing my head.
He suddenly looked really uncomfortable as he always did when he butted into our personal lives. “Is Jackson your boyfriend?”
“Yes. Why?”
“I thought so. I saw the pocket watch he gave you for your birthday. It was on the floor by you where you fell.” He paused, waiting for me to say something. When I didn’t, he continued. “I didn’t show it to your mother, but I read the inscription.” Oh no, here it comes.
My dad paused again like he was considering his words carefully. “Jocelyn, you just met this boy. Now, I realize he’s a nice kid and all, but I don’t want you getting too serious with a boy at this age. Besides, you’ve only known him a short time and for him to engrave something like that… well, it concerns me.”
“I know.” I felt the same way but I couldn’t explain to him how Jackson and I felt such a strong connection to one another. He would never understand that. But then again, neither did I.
“You realize your mother would have a nervous breakdown if she saw that inscription.”
“Yes.” That I was positive of.
“Well, I tucked it into your nightstand under some folders and I won’t say anything to her. I promise. But you have to promise me something too, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Don’t give up on your dreams for some boy you just met. I know how it feels when you’re young and in love, but you still have college ahead of you. I don’t want anything stupid to happen to derail your dreams. So be safe and smart, okay?” I had to smile despite the pain it inflicted. It was so difficult for him to talk to me about anything personal.
“I promise, Daddy.” He leaned down and kissed me on the uninjured side of my forehead.
“And you know you still look beautiful, pumpkin.” Now I knew he was lying, but I appreciated the effort.
My mother returned shortly thereafter, giving me an injection in my IV that put me out for the rest of the night. At least the pain went away for a while.
CHAPTER 18
Saturday, October 26, 1878
I ROSE BEFORE DAWN. I did not sleep well because of the strange episode from the night before. I felt tired and drained, and my head was throbbing. My body felt worn out and my mind was exhausted. The party held no excitement for me. I was too confused and overwhelmed by emotions that I could not explain. I just wanted to spend my day in bed.
I reluctantly crawled slowly out of bed and put on my robe before splashing some cold water from the basin on my face. I quietly brushed by teeth and hair before I went downstairs.
The house was still quiet. I crept around silently, not wanting to wake anyone and lost in my own thoughts. I continually ran the episode over and over in my head trying to make some sense of it but nothing helped. I could not explain it away. I entered the living room, where it was still fairly dark, and wandered over to the front window. I pulled the curtain back and stared at Jackson’s dark, motionless house across the street. It was obvious that everyone over there was still sleeping as well.
“What are you doing up so early?”
The voice came out of the dark corner in the room, frightening me to my very core. I jumped, spinning around, only to find that William was sitting in the corner, still dressed in the clothes he’d worn the day before. His face looked haunted and torn.
“William!”
“Sorry, Jocelyn. I did not mean to frighten you,” he responded in a weak voice.
“I did not realize anyone else was awake.” My heart was pounding so loudly in my chest that I was sure he could hear it.
“I could not sleep.”
I walked over to where he was seated and sat down beside him. I hesitated for a moment, unsure of his reaction, but then placed my hands over his.
“I am sorry, William. I know you are going through a difficult time.”
“I am only feeling sorry for myself, and I am so ashamed that I am. I thought I was a stronger man than that.” He refused to make eye contact and instead stared down at our hands.
“You are a strong man, William. I know that. This would be hard for anyone.”
“I am so ashamed of myself for having disgraced our family, for what I have done to Olivia, her family, and what this has done to our lives. This is not what either of us wanted.”
I gently squeezed his hands in mine. It was all I could think of doing. I had no words of comfort for him. My heart broke for him. William had always been so special to me, and it was killing me having this distance now between us.
We had always been there for each other and I was helpless to give him any words that might bring some solace.
“I have made such a mess of things, and now I cannot make it right. I wish there was a way out for both Olivia and I.”
“I understand.”
“No, you do not, Jocelyn. I appreciate you trying, but you simply cannot understand what I am talking about.” He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.
I sat there numbly staring at him.
“Did you speak with Olivia last evening?”
He shook his head slowly, with his voice barely above a whisper in shame. “No.”
“Why not?” For once, I wanted the truth and not speculations from others.
He still refused to look at me. “Because I am a coward.”
“You are not, William. You have never been afraid of anything in your life.” I assured him.
“I am now. I am terrified of getting married. And every time I look at Olivia’s face, she gives me this look like she truly loathes me for ruining her life. And she has every right to look at me that way.” Tears rolled down William’s cheeks.
“Everything is going to work out in the end. She is just having a difficult time as well right now. It is a huge adjustment for both of you.” I put my arm around his shoulder pulling him to me.
“Have you spoken to her this week?” He glanced up at my face with pleading eyes.
“No. She did not come to classes all week. I went to her house, but her mother told me she was not well and not receiving visitors.”
He ran his fingers through his hair in exasperation. “I do not know if she would even see me if I went over there.”
“I am sure she would.” I tried to reassure him, but I honestly was not sure she would.
“I do not believe so. Did you invite her to the party?”
“Mother handled the entire guest list. I honestly have no clue as to whom she invited. I do not believe my opinion matters in such things.” I laughed, “I do not even know whom Mother invited to my wedding.”
“Sounds like Mother.” William gave me a weak grin.
It was at least good that he tried.
“Yes. Perhaps you should go over there this morning and speak with her. Invite her to the party. I believe it will do you both some good to socialize a little.”
“I am not so sure. I do not believe Olivia wants to be around anyone at this time. Besides, I am not really in the mood for a party as well.”
“William, it is my birthday party. It will not be the same without you,” I complained.
“I am sorry, Jocelyn. I truly am. But in my current state, I am not up for it.” He slumped over, resting his head on his knees.
“Perhaps by the time the guests arrive and the party gets underway you will change your mind,” I said hopefully, even though I knew he would not.
“Perhaps.”
We sat there for a few moments in silence. The sun was coming up outside, promising a beautiful autumn day. I was glad to see that it was no longer raining and gray. Maybe the sunshine would improve everyone’s mood and my party would be a success.
I heard someone, probably Sarah, rummaging around in the kitchen. “Sounds like breakfast is being started. You hungry?”
“Not really,” he answered in a weak voice.
“William, I believe I am going to smack you!” I shook my head with irritation. “You are truly aggravating me this morning. Now, some food would do you some good. I am going to go get dressed. You go clean yourself up. You look horrible.” I bumped up against him, making him smile. “And I will meet you back down here at the dining room table. All right?”
“I guess there is no fighting you, is there?”
I shook my head at his weak smile.
“Fine.”
***
I searched relentlessly through my wardrobe for the perfect dress for my party. There were several that I loved, but I wanted something exceptional. Mimi opened my door and chuckled aloud when she saw the mess I had made spreading dresses about my room in my indecision.
“My dear child, wha’ ave ya done?”
“You are looking much better this morning, Mimi.” She appeared revived from her previous state.
“I’s feels much betta. Now let’s find somein’ special fo ya ta wear.” She stepped back out of my room and returned with a large, white box and set in down on the table. “Mrs. Chandler gave dis ta me las nite ta give ta ya dis mornin’.”
I eagerly lifted the lid and opened the tissue paper to reveal the most beautiful maroon, velvet gown with ivory-colored lace at the collar and sleeves. I pulled it out of the box and held it against me in front of the full-length mirror. There was a dark, maroon, satin ribbon around the waist that tied in the back and darted pleats down the chest. It was perfect. The colors fit the seasonal spirit of fall — warm and welcoming.
“Oh, Mimi! It is gorgeous! I cannot believe Mrs. Chandler! This is perfect!”
“She wanted it ta be a surprise fo ya birthda’.” She smiled; “Now, let’s git ya reade. We ave a lot ta do.”
I quickly undressed and placed by nightclothes on the bed. I could not wait to get into this dress.
***
I descended the staircase carefully, not wanting to wrinkle my dress. It had taken Mimi and me almost three hours to get hair done perfectly. I was elated with the results we had achieved. Mimi was invaluable in her talents.
William and Patrick were in the dining room when I arrived.
“Glad I decided not to wait to have my breakfast.”
William looked refreshed. He had finally taken a bath, shaven, and put on clean clothes and finally disposed of the ones he had been wearing for God only knows how long.
“But it was truly worth the time. You look stunning, Jocelyn.” My father got up and pulled out a chair for me.
I sat down, and he patted my shoulder gently before returning to his seat. Sarah came in with a plate of ham and eggs with biscuits, orange juice, and coffee, setting them down in front of me.
“Thank you, Sarah. This looks wonderful. And thank you, Father.”
“You are most welcome, darling.” He took a sip of his coffee.
“Where is Mother this morning?” I asked, placing my napkin in my lap.
“Driving the staff insane” William laughed making our father smile.
“I see.”
“Easy on your mother, William. She is not only making the staff insane. She is working on me as well. I am going to be hiding in my study until the party begins.” My father picked up his morning newspaper and began reading again.
“What are your plans for this morning, William?” I took a long sip of my hot coffee.
“I am going to head over next door and speak with Olivia.”
Mother entered the dining room looking frazzled and upset.
“What? William, please. Not this morning. I honestly do not want any drama during the party.” She gave him a stern look and our father hastily put his paper aside.
“Mother, I am only going over there to speak with her. I have not spoken with her since last weekend.” William had a confused look on his face.
“Could you please not invite her to the party this afternoon? I do not want any whispering or speculating amongst the guests.” Mother gave him an apprehensive look.
“Are you telling me that Olivia and her family are not invited to my sister’s birthday party?” William balked as his face was red with anger.
I looked at the three of them. This was not going to be good.
“Of course, I invited Olivia’s family. Her parents and her brothers will be here, but her mother and I decided that Olivia would not be attending. We were just going to tell the guests that she is suffering from the flu.”
“Is she banned from all social events until the wedding, or is this in effect until our child is born?” William looked as if he was ready to explode.
“I believe it would be appreciated by both families if she did not attend any soc
ial gatherings until after the baby arrives,” Father interjected.
“Fine. If she is not welcome at my sister’s birthday or apparently even her wedding, than neither am I.” William got up so fast that he knocked his chair over and stormed out of the dining room.
“William, please. Try to understand,” Mother called after him, but to no avail.
Father got up and picked up William’s overturned chair. “Let him go, Annabelle. He needs to calm down.”
“So I suppose Olivia is not going to be my maid of honor?” I tried to act casual, but I was just as disappointed as my brother.
“Your father and I feel that you should probably have one of your other friends stand up with you at your wedding.” Mother rang her hands on the apron she was wearing over her new gown.
“Olivia has been my closest friend since forever. I mean, I realize that recently we have drifted apart, but that never deterred me from wanting her to stand up with me at my wedding.”
“Jocelyn, honey, Olivia will probably be noticeably pregnant by then and it would be inappropriate,” he explained.
I placed my napkin down on the table and stood up.
“Please excuse me. I believe Jackson will be here soon.”
Neither of them said a word to stop me.
***
I paced the living room for a short time while listening to the phonograph. The tune had drastically changed and no longer seemed enjoyable. My headache had almost disappeared during my time with Mimi but now decided to return worse than before. I had no idea where William had disappeared to. I wondered if he had escaped to Olivia’s or if he was hiding upstairs in his room. I was tempted to look for him, but I was not sure as to whose side I was on in this argument.
Traditionally, my parents were correct to try and save as much grace and dignity as possible out of the current situation, but William was also being ostracized from his own sister’s birthday and wedding. I felt disheartened. I hated the entire situation and both William and Olivia for shifting the course of events for everyone, it seemed. This was not the way things were supposed to be.
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