Essence

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Essence Page 17

by A. L. Waddington


  Jackson finally arrived shortly before eleven. I answered the door quickly and caught a stern look of disapproval from Eddie. However, I did not care. I grabbed by shawl and bonnet and hurried out the front door before Jackson even had the chance to enter the house.

  “Let’s go for a walk,” I said quickly.

  “What is wrong?” Jackson looked clearly confused as I rapidly descended the front steps. He quickly caught up with me at the garden gate. “Is everything all right?”

  “No.”

  Jackson halted in front of the fence along the walkway. I hesitated only for a second before I continued on my way. He kept his step with mine, but I knew he was waiting for some answers.

  “Jocelyn, please stop.”

  “I am sorry. I am just upset. My parents informed me that not only is Olivia banned from every social event until she gives birth, but I also have to find another maid of honor.” The words rushed from my lips with all the anger I felt towards everyone and everything.

  “I figured this was going to happen.” His words stopped me in my tracks.

  “Honestly?”

  “Well, yes. Under the current circumstances, I figured that we would have to change things around a bit. It would be most inappropriate for her to show herself in public in her stated condition.”

  Sometimes he truly surprised me.

  “Seriously? Why is everyone being so backward? Accidents happen. I see no reason to be so obtuse. Are they not suffering enough?” I questioned him.

  “Jocelyn, you are so sweet, but you must realize that what you are suggesting is impossible. There is simply no way we can expect our families to ignore the obvious embarrassment and allow Miss Olivia to participate in social events.”

  I could not believe he felt that way, but I knew he was also right.

  “I know, but now that she is ostracized, who am I supposed to have as my maid of honor?”

  “What about Elizabeth? You and she have always been good friends,” he suggested.

  “True. Elizabeth would certainly be my second choice. What about you? Who is going to stand beside you?”

  “William, of course”

  “William stated that if Olivia could not attend, then he would not either.”

  Jackson looked stunned. “He really said that?”

  I nodded.

  “I will speak with him. Where is he?”

  “I have no idea. He might be in his room or at Olivia’s. He stormed out of the dining room earlier and I did not see where he went.” Then I suddenly remembered. “Oh. Please tell your mother thank you for the gown. I love it.” I twirled around showing off the dress to Jackson.

  “You look lovely, my dear. My mother certainly knows how to design a dress.”

  “She designed this?”

  “Yes.”

  “She made this from no pattern at all?”

  “Well, she drew up the design, made a pattern for it then created the dress. It is something she enjoys doing. Sewing is her favorite past time.” He smiled.

  We continued to walk aimlessly down the pathway, following it to the park. The sun was shining brightly in the blue sky. There was just a hint of scattered clouds hanging around to remind us that autumn was now thick in the air. The weather was exactly how I would have wished for it to be for my party, had I thought of wishing for such things these days.

  Jackson and I crossed the cobblestone pathway to the gazebo. The green grass was totally saturated with the amount of rain we had received lately. We climbed the steps and sat down on the benches.

  “Jocelyn, are you going to be in a bad mood all day?”

  “I am not in a bad mood. Honestly.” I knew he could see straight through the lie and I did not want to complain about my headache or attempt to tell him about what had happened last night.

  “Then what kind of mood are you in?” He gave me a confused look.

  “To be honest, I am not sure. Surprised, I guess, and I do not even know why. I mean, I should have expected this. But Miss Olivia has always been such an important aspect of my life for as long as I can remember. It is just difficult to imagine getting married without her there.”

  “I understand.”

  “It amazes me that people can be so small minded about things. I know they made a mistake, but they are doing what they can to correct it and they will be married next weekend. Our wedding is still less than two months away and I honestly hoped that things would have returned to normal by then.” I shrugged by shoulders.

  “I am not sure whether things will ever return to normal again or be the same between you and Miss Olivia, I’m sorry to say.” He wrapped his arm about my shoulders, giving me a gentle but firm squeeze.

  “I am afraid of that,” I admitted. “I got up earlier than usual this morning and found William sitting alone in the dark. I do not believe he even went to bed last night.”

  “I assume he is not doing any better.”

  Recalling how he looked, I was assuming that Jackson knew he was not sleeping at school either.

  “No. In fact, he is utterly miserable.”

  “I wish there was something we could do for both of them.”

  “So do I. It breaks my heart to see William hurting so.”

  Jackson and I arrived back at the house shortly before one o’clock. My mother was in full-blown panic mode, while my father was still hiding safely in his study and William was nowhere to be seen. The dining room table was covered with an ivory, satin tablecloth with my birthday cake perched in the center. Sarah and Mimi had obviously been cooking and baking since dawn covering the table now with an array of dishes and desserts. I could not imagine how many people my mother must have invited to warrant such a spread.

  We stood there in awe when she came through the dining room door.

  “What do you think? Is it enough?”

  “Mother, there is enough food here to feed an army. How many people did you invite?” I stared at her in disbelief.

  “I lost count. Around sixty or so?” She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

  “What? Why?”

  “Jocelyn, this is your coming-out party. You are now officially an adult, and every young lady must have a grand coming-out party.” She smiled widely and patted me on the shoulder. “By the way, you look elegant in that dress. Mrs. Chandler did a beautiful job creating it for you.”

  “Yes, she did. I love it.” I twirled around again, enjoying the way the dress flowed and billowed around me.

  “Now you two just relax and enjoy today. Everyone should be arriving shortly and I have a few last-minute things to attend to, like finding your father for one. I believe he is hiding in his study again.” She laughed, exiting the room.

  Jackson’s parents were the first to arrive. I thanked his mother repeatedly for the beautiful gown, expressing my love for her talent and the thoughtfulness of her gift. Emily was as gracious as always and thrilled that I loved the dress.

  My eldest brother, Patrick II and his wife, Katherine were the next to arrive, followed by Jackson’s siblings and spouses and children and then my other brothers, Jonathon and James with their wives and children. The house was filing up rapidly, and so far only immediate family had arrived. This was certainly going to be the grand affair my mother had intended it to be.

  Benjamin and Harriett arrived next, bringing with them their young sons, Kincade and Oscar, and minus Olivia. My father’s younger brother, Monte, showed up with his wife and their sons alongside my father’s youngest brother, Nicholas and his family.

  The house quickly became crowded, forcing the guests outside and onto the veranda. Elizabeth and her parents arrived next, with Maryanne and hers followed by Laurie, Christina, Thomas, and Theodore, with their parents and siblings. Even Reverend Jacobs and his wife and children made an appearance, along with several other families around town.

  Our guests were having a wonderful time eating, drinking, and socializing with one another. There were so many conversations taking pla
ce I was unsure as to whether anyone was doing the listening instead of the talking. Jackson remained close by my side as I received guest after guest, welcoming everyone into our home. I was indeed thankful that the rain had stopped, allowing people to mingle about the grounds. Mother’s estimate of approximately sixty guests was understated by a grand amount. However, she was enjoying all the praises from her guests on the food and decorations as she excelled in her duties as hostess.

  Elizabeth and her date, someone whom I did not recognize, wandered over to us.

  “Miss Jocelyn, you look absolutely lovely. Where did you ever get such a gorgeous dress?”

  Elizabeth was wearing a royal-blue dress that enriched the color of her eyes. For once, her hair was down in curls and flowed evenly over her shoulders and down her back. She looked so beautiful.

  “Mrs. Chandler created it for me as a birthday gift.”

  “How exquisite.” She gave me a gentle hug. “Happy birthday.” She was radiant with excitement. “Miss Jocelyn Timmons, Mr. Jackson Chandler, I would like to introduce you both to Mr. Lee Miller.”

  The two men bowed towards one another as I curtsied. Lee took my hand and kissed it gently. “It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Miss Timmons. Miss Elizabeth has told me so many wonderful things about you I feel as if I already know you.” He was quite charming.

  “Thank you. It is a pleasure to meet you also, Mr. Miller.” I glanced over at Elizabeth a questionable smile as she beamed with pride.

  “Mr. Miller just moved here from Indianapolis for his new position at Wilson and Riley. He is an architect,” Elizabeth explained.

  Clearly, Mr. Miller was a few years older than the rest of us. He was very handsome, with bright- blue eyes and sandy-blonde hair. His features were soft and boyish, making him appear young.

  “Wonderful. Welcome to Chicago.” Jackson extended his hand and Mr. Miller took it. “Did you move here with your family?”

  “No. My parents and siblings remained in Indianapolis. I recently bought a house over on Maple Lane,” he answered politely.

  “How do you like Chicago so far?” I inquired.

  “Well, it is much bigger than Indianapolis.” He laughed. “But everyone has been very welcoming. I have only been here since mid-September and so far I am finding it very enjoyable.” His gaze fell upon Elizabeth, making her blush and look down.

  “Would you gentlemen please excuse us for a moment? Miss Elizabeth, may I speak with you briefly?” I asked.

  “Certainly. Please, excuse us.”

  Elizabeth and I curtsied as the two men nodded.

  We made our way through the growing crowd out into the far yard by the carriage house so that we could speak alone.

  “So how did you meet Mr. Miller and why did not you tell me you were seeing someone?” I was intrigued.

  Elizabeth blushed again.

  “He is quite wonderful, isn’t he?”

  I nodded.

  “And very handsome.”

  “Yes, he is.”

  “I was surprised when he showed interest in me.”

  “Elizabeth, how can you say that? You are very beautiful and the sweetest person I have ever met. Why would he not be interested in you?” Her lack of self-confidence always surprised me.

  She shrugged as her eyes scanned over the guests lingering about on the veranda before she continued. “When I met him, he just seemed so nice. I thought he would only be interested in being friends with me. Boys have never really paid much attention to me before.”

  “That is only because you are always so serious with your studies. Every time the rest of us wanted to play, you were always buried in a book.”

  “I enjoy reading.” She smiled softly.

  “He seems like a delightful gentleman. But I am curious. How old is he?”

  “Twenty-four.”

  “He looks so young.”

  “Yes, and he is so very sweet. We both share a love of literature and spend hours discussing various works we have read.”

  “I am so happy for you. It is wonderful to see you so happy with someone.”

  “My parents even approve of him. I never thought my father would ever approve of anyone for me.”

  “Are you two getting serious?” I grinned at her.

  “I believe so. He invited his family up for Thanksgiving to meet me. Of course, when he mentioned it to my mother, she insisted that they all join us at our house for a proper Thanksgiving dinner.” She looked shyly over at me out of the corner of her eye. “His family is quite large. I do not believe my mother anticipated having such a group. He has seven brothers and sisters. Most are married, some with children and they are all coming along with his parents. It should prove to be very interesting, to say the least.” She halfheartedly laughed, clearly nervous about the upcoming event.

  “I am sure it will be splendid.”

  “I hope so.” Elizabeth glanced over the vast array of guests milling around everywhere once again. “I have not seen your brother, William, or Miss Olivia. Are they here?”

  “Olivia is still not feeling well. I believe William is over there with her.” I lied. I hated lying to her. This façade was getting old quickly. Her believing the lie only made me feel that much worse about it.

  “Of course. How thoughtful of him. I hope it is nothing serious. She has missed a great deal of school lately.”

  “Yes, but I am sure she is on the mend.”

  “Good.”

  “Miss Elizabeth, can I ask you something?”

  “Yes, of course.” We wandered along the back fence.

  “Well, as you know I am getting married to Jackson this Christmas.” She nodded. “And I would be honored if you would agree to stand up with me as my maid of honor.” I stopped and faced her.

  “Are you serious?” I nodded. “I would be truly honored, Miss Jocelyn.” She embraced me tightly. “I thought for sure that Miss Olivia would be standing up for you?”

  “I am afraid that circumstances have changed.”

  Elizabeth nodded but did not push for any further clarification. “I am sorry to hear that, but yes, I would love to be a part of your wedding.”

  “Wonderful. Then it is settled.”

  “Jocelyn,” Mother hollered from the back porch, “please, come in, dear. It is time to cut the cake.”

  “All right, Mother.” I looked over at Elizabeth. “Guess we had better return to the party.”

  ***

  By eight o’clock the majority of the guests had departed, but there were still several family members lingering around. My brothers and uncles, along with their families, loitered in the living room, enjoying a lively conversation. There was still no appearance of William or mention of him, even from the family. It was quite disappointing. Jackson and I joined everyone in the room, taking a seat next to the warm hearth. The night air had rolled in, bringing in a chill that belonged with the season. I felt drained from the chaos of the day. I leaned my head against Jackson’s shoulder. The exhaustion swept over me quickly as I drifted off to sleep. I do not know how or when, but someone had gotten me upstairs into my nightgown and tucked away in my bed.

  CHAPTER 19

  Saturday, October 24, 2009

  JACKSON WAS PERCHED ON THE CORNER of my bed, reading a book, when I awoke on Saturday morning. He looked sad, almost heartbroken. I could hear the rain pouring down. The sky was dark and gloomy outside the large window, offering little light into my cold, sterile hospital room. The fragrance from the flowers was a bit overwhelming and as much as I truly appreciated the sentiment from my family and friends, I wanted to clear them out just to kill the aroma.

  “Good morning. How are you feeling?”

  “Better.” I lied.

  “I stopped by last night for a few hours, but you never woke up.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Why are you apologizing? You obviously needed the rest.” His smile was so sincere. Then his expression changed and his face clouded. “Look, Jo
celyn. I am so sorry. I would never do anything to ever hurt you. I did not reach out for you to cause you harm or an episode. I was only playing around and reacted out of instinct when you stood.”

  “Jackson, I wish I could explain to you what happens when you touch me, why I faint.” I was not about to confide in him the entire truth.

  “I know,” he said.

  “So please, don’t worry about it.”

  I mustered up the best smile I could for him and a sharp pain shot through my head. I did my best not to wince from the pain so as not to make Jackson feel even worse than he already did.

  “Sure you don’t want to ask someone else to the Halloween party? Or perhaps we should change our costumes. Maybe I could go with something more along the lines of Frankenstein’s monster and you could be my bride.” That at least brought a smile to his face.

  “You are going to look absolutely gorgeous in the costume my mother is making you. Besides you cannot back out now. She has already started working on it. Do you really want to explain it to her?” His beautiful, green eyes were pleading with me.

  “No.”

  “Then I guess you are stuck with me. And I honestly do not want to invite anyone else because I already am going with the best-looking girl in school.”

  “Wow. I know I hit my head, but how hard did you hit yours?”

  “Stop it. I know I am right and I really do not appreciate you speaking about my girlfriend that way.” His smile was so heartwarming.

  “So how did the game go last night?”

  “You are trying to change the subject,” he accused.

  I gave him a small smile. “Guilty.”

  “We won, but it was ridiculously close. Zak made a mistake in the fourth quarter and threw the worse interception possible. They would have scored too if not for your brother. He knocked the guy flat on the three-yard line so hard his helmet flew off. The kid dropped the ball and we got it back.”

  “Seriously? Wow. What was Zak thinking? He never makes such careless errors.”

  “I believe he was not thinking. That was the problem. Besides everyone makes mistakes but I believe the team taught him a lesson afterward. They were really upset with him by the time we got to the locker room. I came here straight after the game, so I missed the fallout.”

 

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