I placed my hands over his. “I know.” I slowly turned to face him. “Jackson, I know. Somehow I feel it in the very essence of my soul. I love you too.” I smiled slightly, feeling embarrassed.
Jackson held my face in his hands and gazed at me intently. Our eyes locked, and I was struck again by the brilliance of the green in his eyes. He tenderly brought his lips to mine. The intensity between us heightened as our bodies pressed together passionately. Gently yet firmly, Jackson pulled himself away from me. He struggled to maintain his even breathing and smiled lovingly at me.
“We have to go.” He gently pulled me towards the door, ending our brief encounter.
Robert and Emily smiled as we entered the kitchen. “My goodness, Jocelyn, you look so beautiful.” Robert came around from the stove.
“This certainly feels very odd to say the least, to see you dressed in that attire, here.”
“Yes, it does.” Emily agreed. “Now would you two please stand over by the fireplace so I can take some pictures before you leave?”
***
We drove in silence for several minutes. I rested my head against the cool window, trying desperately to grasp some smidgen of reality. My mind was whirling in a thousand different directions. The cold window felt amazing against my forehead, but even though my headache was gone, I could not find any solace.
“Are you all right?” Jackson placed his hand over mine.
“No.”
“Everything is going to be fine. I know you have been through a lot this evening, but you have to trust me when I say that I do understand. I remember when I learned about all this how confusing and lost I felt.” His words did give me some comfort.
“How did you get through it?” I looked over at his striking profile, pleading for the right words to make this all click in my head.
“It took some time. My family helped me more than anything else.” He gave my hand a gentle squeeze as we turned the corner onto Cody’s street.
“There’s so much to try to put into perspective that my mind cannot process it all.”
Jackson guided the car into a spot along the already crowded curb and turned the engine off.
“It does get easier, I promise. However, I am not sure how much information I should give you or if it is better for you to discover some things on your own.” He faced me with a soft expression.
“But I want to know everything.”
“Such as?”
I didn’t even know where to begin. “Are there a lot of people who have this, this EVE thing?”
“I honestly do not know. I only know of the few in my own family and your uncle Monte. My father told me once that there were many more, but it is impossible to know exactly how many. He has a lot of theories about all of it that you would probably find very interesting. You should ask him to explain it to you, since I cannot give you an accurate account.” He glanced at the people walking past our window towards Cody’s house.
“When did you go through this?”
I wanted to keep him talking and make him tell me everything he knew.
“I was nineteen and away at Boston U when the barrier began breaking down between both sides of my consciousness. I started having visions of a world I did not understand, and it lasted for months before I ever told my family. I was positive I was losing my mind. The visions and the people in them were so real to me, and I felt very close to them. It scared the life out of me.”
I halfheartedly laughed, recalling my feelings over the last few weeks.
“I am so sorry that you had to experience all of this, but honestly there was no other way. I mean if you think about it, how would you have reacted if my family moved in across the street, I befriended you, and then tried to explain to you this bizarre story about this concept of EVE without any proof?” He chuckled.
“I would have thought you were insane and stayed as far away from you as possible.” I laughed, knowing it was true.
“Exactly. You had to experience it for yourself. I am only sorry that you got hurt in the process. That was never my intention at all.” Jackson gently ran his fingers lightly over my cheek that was heavily coated in makeup to hide the bruises.
“I understand what you are saying, but,” my eyes held his intently. “I cannot help it if I am curious about my other life and knowing that soon I will be fully aware and living as one conscious mind on two parallel planes across some one hundred and thirty years. It somehow doesn’t seem possible.”
“I know.”
More people drifted by his CRV, giving us strange looks as to why we were sitting in the car alone on the side of the road.
“Come on. We should at least make an appearance.” The corners of his lips slightly turned up.
“We don’t have to stay long, do we? I’m really not in the mood for a party.”
“Half an hour tops. We need to keep up appearances, after all. Then we can go somewhere and talk, and I promise that I will answer all your questions as best I can.” He leaned over and kissed me gently before opening his car door.
The house was overflowing by the time we arrived, most already intoxicated this early in the evening. We spotted Kyle and Jenna who were dressed up as Scarlet O’Hara and Rhett Butler from Gone with the Wind. We pushed through the crowd and made our way over to them.
“You guys look great!” I shouted over the music at them.
“Thanks, so do you two!” She shouted back.
Jackson left me momentarily to find us a couple of sodas. Jenna and Kyle were in high spirits and rambling on a mile a minute. I only caught a few words of what they were saying.
A moment later, Caitlyn slid in beside me, dressed in her sexy Jasmine attire and elbowed me in the ribs, nodding towards the ice tub across the room.
“Can you say relentless?” I glanced over in the direction she was looking and there stood Taylor in her tiny, black playboy bunny costume, flirting with Jackson. She was hanging on his arm and giggling like a hyena, flipping her hair over her shoulder. She looked ridiculous.
“How pitiful. Does she honestly believe she has a chance of taking him from me?” I asked.
Jackson looked over at me with apologetic eyes. He said something to Taylor and firmly shook his arm free from her and headed back towards us. Taylor shot me the most evil look before stalking off in the opposite direction, making Caitlyn, Jenna and I laugh all the harder.
“That girl does not understand the concept of no!” Jackson rolled his eyes. “I am afraid I might have insulted her this time.”
“Oh, what a shame!” Caitlyn couldn’t hide her enthusiasm. “I hope you didn’t hold back any punches.”
“I told her that I am very happy and very much in love with Jocelyn and that she has no chance whatsoever of me ever being interested in her.” He shrugged one shoulder and slightly raised his eyebrows as a slight smile spread across his lips.
The three of us roared with laughter. Jackson leaned over and kissed my cheek, enjoying the momentary lapse from the reality that we had left behind us in the car.
“Oh, I wish I could have been standing there just to throw in a few comments of my own,” Jenna added.
“Me too,” Caitlyn chimed in.
“Hopefully, now she will leave us in peace,” he said in a hopeful tone.
I could not afford to be so naïve. I knew Taylor better than that.
“You cannot be serious. Your rejection will only make her more determined,” Caitlyn assured him. “She will enjoy the challenge of breaking you two up.”
“She can try all she likes. It will never happen,” I said with upmost confidence. Both Jenna and Caitlyn looked at me with surprise.
The night was dreadfully dark, and the wind had picked up in intensity, bringing a chill that went straight through our clothes. The clouds hung heavy over the sky, blocking out any stars. The leaves were drifting freely from the trees and blowing softly across the ground. I snuggled against Jackson’s warm body as we made our way back to his CRV.
***
We pulled into his driveway, and Jackson turned the engine off. The lights were blazing from his home, and we could see our parents still gathered around the dining room table playing cards. I turned toward Jackson and took his hands in mine.
“Okay, now answer this for me. I know we’re engaged. I know how you proposed and that we’ve been together for three years.” Jackson nodded. “So tell me, what is my life like there?”
“What exactly do you want to know?”
“Everything.”
“Well, like we told you earlier, you go to school, church, you have friends, and a very large, close family.”
“You’re being very general. Tell me details like what do I do? How do I spend my days? Who do I hang out with?”
“You read a lot, play the piano, you spend a lot of time with Elizabeth, but Olivia used to be your best friend.”
“Used to be? She’s not anymore?”
“You two are still working things out, but after the recent scandal, your relationship has been strained somewhat.” He tilted his head slightly.
“Recent scandal?”
“Yes, your brother, William, and your closest friend, Olivia Adams, seemed to have gotten themselves into a bit of trouble before the wedding.” He raised his eyebrows at me.
“Really? And how did that go over?”
“Not well. See, Olivia lives in Jenna’s house, and she and your brother were sneaking around behind everyone’s back, seeing each other. Your brother and I share a dorm at Northwestern, and he had confessed to me at the beginning of the fall term of their courtship. However, they were afraid to tell you because each of them has such a close relationship with you. They feared how their relationship would affect it. When you found out a couple weeks ago, I am afraid you did not handle their betrayal very well.”
I listened intently as Jackson explained the couple’s fall from grace. It amazed me how intriguing my life was there. I couldn’t believe how strangely similar my life was there with friends and family yet incredibly different. It was funny that despite the large span of time difference between the two worlds, some things truly didn’t change.
“You want to know something funny?” I asked him, trying to absorb everything. “I’m afraid to go to sleep tonight.” It felt silly to confess something that sounded so trivial, but after this evening, going to sleep no longer seemed trivial at all.
“You have nothing to fear, my darling. Tonight is no different than any other night.”
“But it is.” I fought back the tears I could feel welling up behind my eyes. “I know now that things are different.”
“Nothing is going to change, my love.” He kissed my forehead.
“I’m sorry. I know it sounds ridiculous.” The tears rolled down my cheeks, making me feel incredibly childish.
“I would not say that. Your reaction is perfectly normal.”
He pulled me closer to him and whispered in my ear, “My cell phone is on. You call me if you need me no matter what the time. Understand?” He kissed my cheek lightly and gazed deep in my eyes. “You are not alone. I am right across the street.”
Jackson came around and opened my door. I took his hand, stepped out, and wrapped my arms around his neck. “I’d better get home.”
“All right. I will walk you.”
“No. Thank you, I want to clear my head.”
We gazed into one another’s eyes for a brief moment before he leaned down and kissed me softly. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
“Of course.” He smiled. “I will call you in the morning. Call me tonight if you need me.”
I nodded and slowly let him go.
***
I tossed and turned, clutching my cell phone in my hand. I wanted so badly to push the button that would connect me with Jackson, but I hated being weak and refused to do it.
The entire day played out in my mind like some twisted movie. Could everything they said be true? Could I possibly be part of this EVE thing? How could any of this be possible? Were the Chandlers telling me the truth or simply screwing with my mind? I didn’t want to believe that, couldn’t believe that. I felt it in my bones that they would never do that to me.
I felt so odd, cold, and out of place. I didn’t know where I belonged. I wrapped my arms around my extra pillow and hugged it tightly, feeling lost.
CHAPTER 30
Sunday, November 03, 1878
I SNUGGLED AGAINST JACKSON’S CHEST after supper and rested my head down upon his shoulder. He folded his arms around me tightly, pulling me closer to him. We sipped our coffee and discussed various events with William and Olivia. I did my best to pay attention to the conversation around me, but my mind was focused on the pocket watch upstairs. I could almost hear it calling my name, beckoning me to come to it to witness everything it wanted to share. It was hard to remain still. I shifted constantly to the point that Jackson sighed heavily at my restlessness.
“Sorry,” I whispered up at him. “I cannot get comfortable for some reason.”
“Are you feeling all right?”
“I am fine, just restless for some reason.”
“Is something on your mind, darling?”
“No. Not really.” I lied.
The hours crawled by, and every single frustrating minute was pure agony. I felt so incredibly torn between wanting to run upstairs in hopes of another vision or remaining safely here in Jackson’s arms.
I settled once again into Jackson’s chest. I rechanneled my energy into hearing nothing but the words of those around me.
By eight o’clock our families started to say their good nights. Group by group, they dispatched to their respective homes, leaving only the current residents and Jackson behind.
“I hate to see you leave,” I whispered into his chest.
“I know. I will try and come home one day this week.”
I nodded as a silent tear drifted from the corner of my eye and landed on his vest.
“Baby.” He gently listed my chin forcing me to meet his gaze. “I know something is bothering you and that you feel you cannot discuss it with me. But, sweetheart, no matter how bizarre or strange or complicated you believe something to be, you can confide in me.” His peculiar choice of words baffled me.
“Really, it is nothing. Please try to come home this week.” I kissed him quickly before he could say another word.
With everyone now gone and William and Olivia retiring to their quarters for the remainder of the evening, I climbed the stairs slowly, still confused by Jackson’s odd choice of verbiage.
Mimi turned down the oil lamps and closed the door behind her. I remained silent for several minutes, listening to the familiar sounds of the staff and my parents moving about the house. When I was sure that I was going to be left alone for the rest of the evening, I reached over and lifted the pocket watch out of its resting place in the beautiful, blue velvet box. I was careful just barely to touch the chain as I sneaked it under the duvet.
I snuggled back into the pillows and closed my hand tightly around it.
My head felt clouded and my body went numb. I could no longer hear any sounds from the rest of the house. The world around me suddenly disappeared, opening into a bright field surrounded by large buildings that looked nothing like anything I had ever seen in my entire life.
The air was hot and muggy; I knew it had to be summer. I was walking across a grassy meadow of some sort surrounded by people who were excessively loud. These people were dressed in bizarre fashions. I was stunned when I looked over and saw that the women were wearing that same style of really short pants that showed their legs and in public no less. Their blouses were an odd fabric and weird styles that I could never remember seeing before. But when I looked down, I realized I was wearing a similar fashion as theirs! I paused a moment, trying to figure out what was going on. Everyone walking around me was wearing something similar. Not one woman was wearing a skirt or dress!
And the noise. It was so loud.
Sounds engulfed me from every imaginable direction. Things I had never heard before.
To my left there was the strangest thing I had ever seen — horseless carriages. They were all different sizes and shapes and colors. I couldn’t take my eyes off them. How is that possible?
“Hey, Jocelyn. What’s wrong?” A tall boy with dark, blond, messy hair asked me.
“Excuse me?” I shook my head, trying to place who he was and where I was. I felt like I knew this young man. For some strange reason, I felt like he was my brother. I tilted my head and squinted my eyes into the sun to get a better look at him.
“Why’d ya stop? Something wrong?”
“No. I am fine.” I stepped up my pace to walk beside him, having no clue as to where we were headed.
“Man, I am so jealous. I can’t believe that you might be going here next year.” I looked up at him now, totally confused.
I closely studied my surroundings for some sort of inkling as to our location. On the corner, I noticed a large concrete sign that read Indiana University. Could that be right? Why am I down here?
“Are you speechless or what?” The boy elbowed me in the ribs.
“I am fine. Why do you keep asking me?”
“Because you’re acting weird. What’s up with you? You were so excited earlier about seeing the campus. You can’t tell me you don’t like it, it’s perfect. Plus, you have the added bonus of being far enough from Mom and Dad that you won’t have to worry about them bothering you once the semester starts.” He stated with obvious envy. “For that reason alone I was thinking about going to school on the west coast.”
“The West Coast?” What in the world is he talking about? There are no schools on the west coast. There is nothing out on the west coast.
“Yep. Sun, fun, parties and girls. And maybe I’ll attend a class or two.”
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