Off Your Rocker?

by K E Osborn

  “Shh baby,” he whispers as I try to keep myself quiet. The feeling as he moves in me slowly, makes me warm all over. My breathing deepens as both of our hips move in unison with each other. The pleasure mixed with the excitement and fear of being caught is making me break out in a cold sweat. My skin is covered in goose bumps and my nerves are tingling with every movement that he makes. He thrusts in me deeply as his hand finds its way back to my clit. The pleasure is almost too much to bare as he massages my clit with his fingers and fucks me from behind. I whimper slightly as he quickens his pace. He thrusts deeply making me moan out loud.

  “Shh,” he says, but I can’t contain myself. I let out another moan while he continues his relentless tempo inside me and the pressure on my clit. His arm under my head moves and suddenly his hand is around my mouth trying to block my moans. I breathe rapidly through my nose and the sound is obvious, but I don’t care anymore. All I want is to come again. His hand’s holding tightly over my face as his other circles my clit forcefully. This is rough sex, but I love every second of it. He’s breathing deeply and fast and I know he’s enjoying this just as much as I am. Thrust after thrust and the motion of his hand between my legs is making me whimper on every exhale. I start to stiffen as I feel the welcomed rush of adrenalin surging through me. My nipples harden and my clit throbs as he takes me. His mouth is at my neck sucking and biting as he thrusts harshly and deeply inside me making us both jolt with pleasure. I scrunch my eyes shut as my entire body quivers and a heat surges through me making me feel like I’m on fire.

  “You will come when I tell you to, do you understand me?” Colt whispers in my ear then bites my earlobe hard. I whimper and he tightens his grip across my mouth and thrusts hard into me. My breathing become erratic and harsh as he moves in and on me. He firms the pressure on my clit as I feel him starting to jolt behind me. Breathing loudly, he slams into me, “Come with me,” he says just in time for my body to react. I flush with heat, my body shudders and the pleasure hits making me stiffen as I climax, just as I feel him unload inside me with a light moan. He jolts a few more times bringing me back down. His grip on my mouth slowly loosens as he stops moving inside me and moves his hand from between my legs, under my shirt to my breast.

  Holy crap!

  Fuck!

  I can’t believe I just had sex in a room full of sleeping people. I’ve never done that in my life, but when Colt puts his hands on me, it’s like my brain switches off and my body takes over. I can’t control it. He pulls out of me and tugs on my shoulder for me to turn over. I roll over in the bed facing him and his hand skims across my cheek. His eyes are sparkling luminous pools of blue staring at me with such lust, it makes me want to go again. Leaning in, his lips meet mine and he kisses me so tenderly, that if I was standing it would’ve made my knees weak.

  “You really have to learn to control your moaning,” Colt whispers as he lifts his head and glances around the room.

  Oh my God, I hope no one heard us!

  He smirks and looks back at me as Dingo lets out a small snore from across the room making me giggle to myself.

  “I think we’re all clear,” he says, and I smile at him. I shake my head in disbelief that no one woke up to my moaning or the sounds of our heavy breathing. I think everyone must be comatose.

  Weeks pass as we fly all over the USA on tour with Slayed. My father keeps calling trying to persuade me to come home, but it always ends up with me hanging up on him. I’ve lowered my flight pill to half a tablet, so I’m not so out of it when we fly, which is often, but Colt always has a way of calming me. The evil minion fans keep trying to get to Colt and they never have anything nice to say to me or about me, but I don’t let it get me down. They don’t know me, so I don’t take anything to heart. Rob Luxley is taking up more time with Colt than I’d like, but I guess that needs to happen in order for them to keep up the momentum and fandemonium that’s surrounding Slayed at the moment.

  Colt and I have gone back to having our separate room from the others who stay in the penthouse suite. After the sex, drugs and almost punch up with his brother, Colt didn’t want me to be around that kind of atmosphere. I know he said he doesn’t have the urge to use anymore, but every time I see his face when Hux is snorting Cocaine, I can’t tell whether it’s a look of disgust in his brother or a look of just pained desire. It worries me, but I haven’t seen any other signs that Colt’s struggling with his sobriety, so I don’t say anything. Anna and I have gotten much closer seeing as our guys are spending more time away from us than with us. We keep each other occupied and entertained while the guys are playing or working on new songs.

  The guys had their last show in the USA last night at Fenway Park in Boston and I’m sure the crowds are just getting larger and noisier. Sia, Anna and I are always at the side of the stage watching when they play, and Colt makes me stand where he can see me at all times throughout every concert. His persistence with that is starting to drive me a little nuts, but I do it because it’s so important to him. After each concert the guys come off stage and Colt makes his way to me, kissing me passionately and picking me up twirling me in a circle – every time. It’s like a ritual. He’s always so amped up after a show. I can see how music and performing really means everything to him.

  The after party sounds like it’s in full swing in the penthouse next door as I take off my converse and jeans. I’m walking around in a black vest and black lace panties while I wait for Colt to come back from an after-show meeting with Rob. I can’t help but feel a little depressed and homesick. I really miss Princess Sophia and even my parents to some degree. I’ve been on tour now for three months with Colt, and my feelings for him are growing each day. He still has issues with the word ‘boyfriend’ and I can’t figure out why he really doesn’t want to be called that. It hurts that he still won’t sway on it. Everyone knows we’re together, but still he doesn’t want to make us official.

  I lay down on the bed and exhale looking up at the white ceiling contemplating on calling Joseph for an update on Princess Sophia, when the door of the suite opens and Colt walks in wearing a huge grin on his face.

  “You’ll never guess what Rob got for us?” he says loudly and rushed like he’s excited. I sit up on the bed and shake my head raising my eyebrows at him as he sits down next to me. “An interview with Rolling Stone magazine. Can you believe it?” he asks taking my hands in his and squeezing tightly. I’m excited for him, but I can’t seem to bring myself to show it. I’m too tired and gloomy to care.

  I smile at him. “That’s great news, babe,” I reply and he looks at me creasing his brows together.

  “What’s wrong?” he asks while his hand brushes my cheek. I exhale and lay back down on the bed.

  “I think I’m homesick. I miss my dog and my own bed, and I’m so sick of living out of my suitcase.”

  He looks at me with wide eyes and swallows hard. “Do you want to go back to London?” he asks, quietly.

  I exhale and rest my forearm over my eyes. “I do, but I don’t want to leave you—”

  “Lia, I don’t want you to stay here if you’re not happy, just because of me,” he interrupts.

  I move my arm from my face and look up at him. He looks pale and the glimmer in his eyes from before has now faded.

  “Colt, I want to be wherever you are. I’m sorry, it’s just a little homesickness, I’ll be fine. I promise. I’m happy here with you. Nothing makes me happier than seeing you on stage in all your glory, rocking out like the rock God that you were born to be.”

  He looks at me and exhales. “Are you sure? Because I don’t want you to ever be unhappy Lia, and I know I’ve been away a fair bit with Rob and the guys, but it’ll get better. I promise. I’m sorry, I’ve been so caught up with the band and I haven’t stopped to think about how it would be affecting you.” He hesitates then takes a breath, “You want to go home though, don’t you?” he asks making me scrunch my eyes tight.

  “I just feel really down tonight.
You’re away doing band stuff and I know that’s all part of it, but I miss you. And it’s not fair on me to ask you to change in any way just because I’m pathetic and hate being away from you. You won’t commit to me, and I’m starting to feel like maybe I don’t belong here. I don’t… I don’t know. Colt, do you even want me here anymore?” I ask feeling nervous waiting for his answer.

  He flares his nostrils and shakes his head. “Of course, I want you here Lia. You’re my inspiration, my muse, I love… I love having you around. I just don’t want you to be here if you don’t want to be, and from what I’m hearing – you don’t,” he says looking away from me. His chest is heaving from breathing heavily.

  “Look, let’s not make any decisions right now, okay? Let’s sleep on it and see how we feel in the morning. Like I said it’s probably just homesickness,” I say as he drops his chin to his chest.

  He sniffs and exhales loudly standing up and pulling down his jeans. He gets undressed and gets into bed. I feel horrible. Do I really want to go home? Can I really leave him behind? I don’t know where all this is coming from, and I really don’t like it. I move under the covers and for the first time since I met him, I fall asleep without Colt’s arms around me.

  I feel like I’m floating as a dim light makes its way into my eyes. I hear someone humming, but I don’t know the song. My eyes flicker open and shut as the dim light and the humming wake me fully. I look over and Colt’s not in the bed next to me. I hear the humming again and I look down toward the end of the bed and Colt’s sitting there with his back to me. A lamp’s on and he’s humming something I haven’t heard before. I look over at the clock and it’s five in the morning.

  “Colt?”

  He turns to look at me and smiles. “Hey, sorry didn’t mean to wake you, go back to sleep.”

  “It’s fine, what are you doing?” I rub my tired eyes.

  “Like I said you’re my muse, my inspiration. I was lying in bed and the words just kept repeating in my head. I had to get them down.”

  I scratch my head and yawn. “What are you on about?”

  He smirks and that bright spark is back in his eyes. “This song, Lia, it’s about you.”

  I’m completely awake now. My mouth drops open and my eyes widen. “You wrote a song about me?”

  “Yeah?” he says rubbing the back of his neck and looking at me with worry lines creasing his forehead.

  I’m truly shocked and bewildered. I exhale and shake my head. “Um, wow… Can I hear it?” I ask quietly.

  He smiles brightly and nods standing from the bed and fetching his guitar. He sits back down on the end of the bed and I crawl my way behind him, one leg either side, while I hold onto him from behind in a monkey vice grip. I rest my chin on his shoulder as he tunes his guitar. A wave of excitement surges through me as I wait to hear the words he’s written for me.

  “Okay, so it’s a work in progress, but this is what I have so far,” he says and starts to sing a slow rock ballad.

  She came into my life one night, and I’ll never be the same.

  Her green eyes shone bright, it was such a delight, now I burn an eternal flame.

  I got swept away by her like never before, and I swear that she’s the one,

  I can’t let her know, how much I don’t want her to go, but I think we might be done.”

  Am I off my rocker, to let her go?

  Why can’t I tell her that I need her so?

  Her hand in mine when we intertwine,

  Sends a chill up and down my spine every time.

  I need you now, more than I ever will,

  Will you stay by my side, forever until, the end of time?

  The end of time.

  There’s been others before, but they never compare,

  To your dazzling beauty ‘n’ your complexion so fair.

  The one before you came, she hurt me real bad,

  And I was broken inside, confused, lonely and sad,

  And I hate her the most for making me this way,

  So now I can’t say the things I’ve been meaning to say,

  I got swept away by you like never before, and I swear that you’re the one,

  I can’t let you know, how much I don’t want you to go, but I think we might be done.”

  Am I off my rocker, to let her go?

  Why can’t I tell her that I want her so?

  Her eyes, the most amazing green that I’ve ever seen,

  The way she moves her hips turns me into a fiend.

  I need you now, more than I ever will,

  Will you stay by my side, forever until, the end of time?

  The end of time.

  How does the story end? Will I ever know,

  I hope she knows that I care about her so,

  I want her to stay and I hope she does, until the end of time,

  The end of time.

  The end. Of. Time.

  I will wait for you, till the end of time.”

  He strums the ending of the song and I can’t help it as tears form in my eyes. I sniff and he turns his head to the side to look at me. I’m feeling overly emotional. How can I go back to London after that? I had an inkling that maybe he had his heart broken before me and that’s why he’s so closed off. It’s got nothing to do with him not wanting me and everything to do with him not wanting to end up broken again. I tighten my arms around his waist and hold on to him closing my eyes as the tears start to fall.

  “Oh hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you,” he says putting the guitar on the bed and turning in my grip to face me.

  I shake my head and wipe my face as I sniff. “No, I’m not upset Colt, that was beautiful. I can’t believe you wrote that about me,” I croak out as he smiles taking both my hands in his.

  “And I meant every word of it, Lia. I don’t want you to leave me, baby. I know I’m not the easiest person to have a relationship with, my past in so many ways has stuffed up the way I think and feel now. Macy fucked everything up. She fucked me up. I was so sure that I’d never feel for another woman the way I felt about her, and that’s why I don’t do the boyfriend thing, because I can’t allow myself to fall for someone like I fell for her, just so I can have someone rip my heart out and shatter it again,” he says caressing my cheek.

  “So that’s it then, you’ll never open yourself up to another person?” I ask suddenly all my ecstatically happy emotions draining away and a somber pain creeps into my chest.

  He shakes his head emphatically. “No, that’s what I’m trying to say, Lia. What I am trying to say is that somehow you’ve worked your way in and I know that I’m falling for you, but the thought terrifies me. And you saying that you might leave to go back to London, it just brought back memories of Macy and how she made me fall for her and then she left me. I don’t think I could handle it if you left me, Lia. Please don’t leave me,” he begs. My tears now falling freely down my cheeks.

  He wipes them away as I lean into him and hold him tightly. “I’ll never leave you, Colt. Not until the end of time,” I say making him chuckle.

  “So you like it then? The song?” he asks as he wipes fresh tears from my face.

  I sniff and smile up at him. “I’m in love with it, Colt… and… I’m in love with you,” I decide to say it, even though it may just scare him off. I bite my bottom lip as he scrunches his eyes shut. He’s breathing quickly and his nostrils flare.

  Shit! I shouldn’t have said that, it’s too much for him right now.

  I see his bottom lip quiver and instantly I feel a crippling fear flow through me.

  “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that, I was ju—”

  His lips crash to mine mid-sentence. His hands fist in my hair as he pushes me down toward the mattress. His body pinning mine to the bed as I claw at his back. His tongue collides with mine as he takes control of me passionately. His hand finds my wrists and he pins them either side of my head in the way that I love.

  “And now I’m going to make normal love, to my
normal…” he pauses and swallows hard like it’s difficult for him to say. I look into his eyes and smile at him. He exhales and nods at me letting me know he’s okay. “I’m gonna make normal love, to my normal… girlfriend,” he says letting out a breath and swallowing hard.

  Did he just call me his girlfriend?

  I smile so brightly that my cheeks hurt. “And I’m going to make love to my… boyfriend?” I ask hesitantly. He exhales and nods in recognition making me lose myself. I lean up and kiss him forcefully as he grinds his rock hard cock into me. I don’t even care that he hasn’t told me he loves me back, he let me call him my boyfriend and that’s one giant step in the right direction. A direction toward me spending until the end of time with my rock God, Colter Slade.

  We spend the next two hours making ‘normal’ love as Colt calls it, and then some time in the shower just being with each other. Colt was meant to go to a meeting with Rob at seven-thirty this morning, but it’s past that and he’s still here with me. We haven’t talked about the whole ‘I love you’ thing since I said it, but I don’t want to push him. It’s obviously a tough subject for him, and with the explanation of Macy I’m okay with him not saying it back. He will, when he’s ready.