Off Your Rocker?

by K E Osborn

  I slowly roll over and reach out for Colt, but he’s not there. My eyes fly open and my suspicion is confirmed. I lift my head and look around the room, but he’s not here. I exhale and flop my head back down on the pillow. I guess we had our time together and now it’s back to the busy schedule as usual. I’m startled out of my wave of despair by the drapes in front of the balcony door parting to see Colt walk in from outside. I smile brightly as I realise he hasn’t left for the day.

  “Hey baby, did I wake you?” he asks shutting the door and walking over then sitting on the bed next to me. I shake my head and sit up cuddling into him.

  “No, I just thought you’d left for the day.”

  “That’s why I was outside, I was making phone calls and I didn’t want to wake you.”

  I smile and nod taking in his scent. He always smells so amazing, so Colt.

  “Who were you calling?”

  He smiles and kisses my nose. “Rob and the guys. They’re doing all the promo work without me today,” he says letting me go, standing up and taking off his jeans. I’m shocked. He walks over and slides in the other side of the bed pulling me to him. I giggle and rest my chin on his chest and look up at him through my eyelashes.

  “What did they say about that?”

  “The guys were cool with it, Rob not so much. I told him I’m having a day. Just one day for me and my rock chick to be together, that we needed this and I needed a break. I just need to be with you, Lia,” he says, his hands gently glide along the curves of my naked back caressing my skin. My heart pounds just that little bit faster.

  “But what about your interviews?”

  “Cancelled. I’m only doing them because Hux and Rob think we need to keep the momentum up, but ‘Until the End of Time’ has already gone triple platinum, the music speaks for itself, they don’t need me to plug it,” he says “well, not today anyway. The world can wait one more day because today is all about you. I’ve been such a selfish prick and I’ve been more concerned about the band’s popularity than how you were feeling. When you broke down after you thought Jessi and I had slept together, that was the worst moment of my life. I knew how it must have looked and Jessi didn’t help, she knew she was making it look the way she did. But to see you fall apart like that, to the point where you couldn’t even hear me when I was yelling at you, it broke my heart baby, that I’d made you that way…” he exhales as his bottom lip quivers. I can see the tears in his eyes as mine well up as well. He takes hold of me and pulls me on top of him. I lay my head in the crook of his shoulder and he holds onto me so tightly that it’s hard to breathe, but I don’t care. I just want him to hold me, and he does. For hours.

  I wake up slowly to the feeling of Colt softly stroking my hair. I look up at him and he smiles at me lovingly.

  “You hungry?”

  “Yeah, what’s the time?”

  “Just gone seven. Can I take you out for dinner?”

  I nod and lean up to kiss him. “Sounds great,” I say. “Wait don’t you have a concert tonight?”

  He shakes his head, “No. We fly out to Germany in the morning. Our next show’s tomorrow night after a few more interviews.”

  I nod. “Okay, well let's go out and have an awesome date night, and then we can get back into the swing of things tomorrow.”

  His eyes bulge and his mouth opens slightly like he’s in shock. I furrow my brow at him in concern. “What?” I ask and he lets out a small laugh.

  “No nothing bad, I just realised how much of a douche bag boyfriend I am. Tonight will be our first official date and we’ve been together for half a year. I’m sorry baby, that’s really unacceptable.”

  I smile up and lean in kissing him gently. “You’re not a douche bag boyfriend, babe, you’re just a busy one, and I get that – I really do! But it’ll be nice to finally have our first date with no groupies, no band members, no agents, just us.”

  He smiles and gets up from the bed taking me with him. I giggle at his strength and he kisses my cheek walking over to the luggage. He picks up my short black dress from last night and scrunches it up, then pulling all my clothes from my case and placing the dress on the bottom and piling all my clothes on top of it. I look at him confused.

  “I thought you liked my dress?” I ask and he scoffs with a slight smirk.

  “Oh baby, I love that dress, but if you ever go out in public wearing something as short as that again, I’ll drag you home and spank you so hard you won’t be able to see straight. That dress is only to be worn for me. No one else can ever see you in it. You got me?” he commands, looking at me with one brow raised his head tilted.

  I bite my bottom lip, I can tell that he’s serious, so I just nod and smile at him. “I got you.”

  He looks like he’s in pain, his eyes are scrunched and he’s frowning. “The way Coslecki was manhandling you, I can’t ever witness anything like that again Lia—”

  I walk over to him and take his face in my hands looking him in the eyes. “It’s okay, Colt, I won’t ever let that happen again. The dress is for your eyes only. I promise.” I pick up my jeans and a vest. He looks at me and smiles brightly.

  “Thank you,” he says caressing my cheek.

  “Thank you. A night with you is just what I need. I love you Colt and nothing will ever change that fact.”

  We make our way downstairs to the stretch Hummer, Colt takes my hand and leads me inside. I have no idea where we’re going as Colt pulls me to his side.

  “Where are we going?” He pulls me into his lap.

  “It’s a surprise.”

  I can’t help but get a little excited. Our first real date, and in Paris no less. We pull up and I can see that we’re right by the Eifel Tower. I look at Colt as I shift off his lap when the car door opens, he smirks at me and steps out of the car holding his hand out for me to take. I step out of the car and he doesn’t say anything as I gaze up at the wonder in front of me. It’s so big and I stare at the tower in awe. Colt starts to walk with me in hand and we move over to a little sectioned off area almost right underneath the tower. I’m speechless as I see a table set for two with candles glistening in the light breeze. I can’t stop the smile that invades my face as he leads me over to the table.

  “Did you organize all of this?”

  “Do you like it?”

  He pulls out my chair and I sit down. “I love it, this is amazing Colt.” A string quartet starts playing softly in the background.

  “Well, only the best for my girl.”

  He waves his hand to the waiter and I smile as a rush of undeniable love fills my chest.

  “When did you get the time to do all this?”

  He smirks as the waiter pours us both a glass of Champagne. “This morning when you were still in bed sleeping, I made the arrangements for dinner after I told Rob and the guys I was taking today off.”

  He raises his champagne flute. “To you. The most thoughtful and patient, and not to mention sexiest girlfriend in the world.”

  “To you, my rock God. I’m so thankful to spend any time with you I can. I know I can jump to conclusions and I react before thinking or knowing the full situation, but I love you so much, and being with you is all I want.”

  He smiles at me and nods his head. “That’s all I want too, baby. Just me and you – until the end of time,” he says clinking our flutes together.

  We spend the next few hours dining on French cuisine and Colt’s hands are always touching me in some way, whether it be holding my hand on the table or placing his hand on my back as we have photos taken under the Eifel Tower. The undeniable love that I’m feeling from him fills me with a new hope, hope that we can make it through. I know with all my heart that I want that more than anything – I want to be his forever. His always. His constant. Through all the good times and bad. I can only hope that he feels the same way about me.

  We take the stretch Hummer back to the hotel and I feel a little lousy for occupying all of his time today. I know that Hux and
Dingo probably won’t appreciate it. So I decide to be selfless for the first time today.

  “Babe, I think we should pop into the penthouse suite and say hi to everyone.” He kisses my head and wraps his arm around me.

  “Don’t you like being alone with me anymore?”

  I look up at him and roll my eyes. “Of course I do. If it were just you and me for all of eternity I’d be ecstatic, but they’re our friends and I let them down today by being selfish and taking you away from them—”

  “They’ll survive another few hours without me, but if you really want to we can pop in for one drink and then I’m taking you to our suite where I can show you how much I lo…” he winces and trails off. He shakes his head and scrunches his eyes shut like he’s annoyed at himself.

  “Hey! It’s okay, like I said you don’t have to say it. I know how you feel Colter Slade and just because you can’t say it doesn’t mean you don’t feel it. So, one drink and then you can make love to me all night long agreed?”

  He exhales and smiles. “You amaze me. Most girls would’ve run by now with all my issues,” he says cupping my cheek with his hand.

  “Well, I’m not most girls.”

  We walk into the bustling penthouse suite and even though there’s not an after show party going on in there, there’s still people everywhere. Colt holds on to my hand tightly as we walk in and take a seat on the lounge.

  Anna comes running over to us. “Thank fuck you two are here. Johnny and Dingo are driving me bonkers,” she exclaims, slumping down on the lounge next to me, as Colt pulls me to his side and we both chuckle.

  “What are they talking about now?” Colt asks.

  Anna exhales. “The bloody meaning of life. Can you believe it, a bassist and a drummer talking about that shit? Urgh, I swear some of the ridiculous crap coming out of their mouths is just plain… well stupid. My husband’s an ignoramus!”

  Anna looks at me with her eyebrow raised and then looks across at Colt – girl code for how is everything? I smile at her and nod slightly, she smiles brightly.

  “Wanna drink guys?” Kira calls out looking directly at us. We both nod and she brings two beers and then walks away. I take a sip of my beer, when the door opens and Hux stumbles in with a girl either side of him. He looks like he’s off his face. His eyes are bloodshot and his hair is messed up. The girls bring him over to the lounge next to Anna and he sits placing his head in his hands.

  “Hux, you okay, bro?” Colt asks, concern etched in his voice.

  “Woooohoooooo, I’m on a flying carpet,” Hux replies sounding excited as he throws his hands into the air like people do when they’re on a rollercoaster. I look up at Colt and he’s frowning and his brows are creased so far together, I think they might actually join.

  “What the fuck, Hux? You’re off your face man. So much for being in control of the drugs you dick,” Colt berates, shaking his head.

  Hux stands up abruptly and walks over in front of Colt. “Oh brother, brother, where is my old brother? The one who loves smack? Have you seen him?” Hux stumbles almost falling on Colt. Colt’s nostrils flare as he pushes Hux up and stands up steadying him.

  “Hux man, look what you’re doing to yourself,” Colt says as Anna takes my hand in hers. I feel sorry for Colt right now, he must be angry and hurt that his brother is so wasted that he can’t even stand properly, let alone string a few sensible words together.

  Hux dives his hands into his pockets and searches around. Colt looks him curiously as his hands steady Hux’s shoulders.

  “What I’m doing to myself? Look what you’re not doing to yourself. But I can help with that,” Hux says pulling a bag from his pocket and before anyone can react, he’s opened the bag and throws it all in Colt’s face. I gasp as does Anna while Hux laughs hysterically, falling backwards into the coffee table. I stand and wipe the Cocaine from Colt’s face. His breathing is rushed and harsh as I wipe frantically around his eyes to remove all traces of it. I can’t help but notice all the particles flying up inside his nostrils as he breathes in deeply. Or the fact that his lips should be covered in the powder and there’s nothing there.

  “Are you okay?” He finally opens his eyes and looks at me. His rage is apparent as his hands ball into tight fists by his side. His gaze moves from me to his brother who’s standing back, pointing and laughing. Dingo and Johnny are quickly by Colt’s side as I continue to wipe down the rest of his face. Colt takes hold of my wrists and places my arms at my side.

  “Colt, hold it together man,” Johnny says placing his hand on Colt’s shoulder. He shrugs it off and starts to stride toward Hux who has stopped laughing and holds his arms open as if to hug Colt. He clenches his fist and knocks Hux right in the jaw sending him backwards to the floor. Hux laughs and rolls around while everyone crowds around him. Johnny takes Colt’s arms and pulls him away from Hux.

  “C’mon let him go, he doesn’t know what he’s doing,” Johnny says.

  “Oh, c’mon big bro, you fucking love the smell and taste of it. I can see in your eyes that you’re dying for a hit. I have plenty more,” Hux teases pulling another bag from his pocket and dangling it in the air above his face. Colt surges toward Hux again, but Johnny holds him back. Hux laughs hysterically.

  “You will cave brother, sooner or later you will join in the party,” Hux calls out while Johnny walks Colt away and into his and Anna’s room. I stand on the spot not knowing what to do.

  I look at Anna and she half-smiles at me. “Maybe you should go and check on him?”

  I nod and walk toward the room. I move to turn the handle on the door when I hear Johnny and Colt talking.

  “Fuck man, fuck,” Colt exclaims loudly.

  “Colt, I know, just calm down. You don’t want Lia to see you like this, do you?”

  “God no! She can’t find out that I’m struggling. Every time Hux forces that shit on me I just wanna snort a line, just one, but I know I won’t stop. And I can’t do that to Lia, Johnny, she means so much to me.”

  “I know man you need to be careful. I saw your face when the coke hit you. I saw you snort it in and lick your lips. Colt that doesn’t help you know.”

  I frown as my fears are confirmed. He did try to take in some of the Cocaine. The fact that he didn’t try to wipe it away himself should’ve been a giveaway.

  “I know, but it’s instinct. I didn’t even know what I was doing until I tasted it. But then I smelt Lia, and felt her hands on me, somehow I knew I’d be okay. If she’s here then I can fight it,” Colt says and there’s a brief moment of silence. I take the opportunity and open the door and peek my head around to see Colt sitting on the bed with his hands holding his head and Johnny next to him rubbing his back. Johnny looks up and smiles.

  “Sorry, I’ll come back,” I say. Colt looks up at me, his eyes are wide and glassy and he’s blinking rapidly. The sight makes me crumble inside. He’s high, not that I’m surprised, there was so much powder on his lips and under his nose.

  “No, let's go. I need you Lia,” he says standing and taking my hand. I look into his wide eyes to see his pupils dilating. I swallow a lump in my throat and nod at him. Johnny looks at me and mouths, ‘Are you okay?’ I nod and let Colt wrap his arm around my shoulder and I walk with him back to our suite.

  I don’t tell Colt that I heard him and Johnny talking. I think he feels bad enough right now and I don’t need to make him feel worse. I cuddle into his side and he holds me so tightly it almost hurts.

  “I’m so sorry, Lia,” he whispers into my hair.

  “You have nothing to be sorry about.”

  “I shouldn’t have hit Hux in front of you again.”

  I scoff at him. “No babe what was rude was Hux throwing that shit in your face. He’s such a selfish prick sometimes,” I say without thinking.

  “You don’t like him much do you?”

  I swallow a lump in my throat. “It’s not that I don’t like him. What I don’t like is him trying to force a lifestyle on you that
you’re trying to forget. You’re better than that, and I know that it was hard for you to let go of that lifestyle, but if you have to use me to help, then use me Colt. I’m here for you. I’ll always want what’s best for you, and doing drugs is definitely not what’s best for you – or your brother. Maybe you need to contact your mum and see if she can help get him back into rehab?”

  Colt winces. “Mum can’t know that he’s using again. It’ll kill her. After all the effort she put into getting us both clean when Dad died - I don’t think she could do it again.”

  I nod and lean up kissing him softly. “Well, just know that I’m always here for you, and if you ever need to talk, or if you’re struggling then please tell me so I can help.”

  “Do you know how much I need you, Lia?”

  “About as much as I need you.”

  I’m startled awake by my mobile phone ringing. Colt and I both sit up in the bed in a dazed and confused state. Colt turns on the side light while I pick up my phone and fumble with it still not really awake.

  “Who is it?” Colt asks while rubbing his eyes. He looks so tired.

  I try to focus my eyes on my phone.

  “It’s Mum,” I say with a shrug.

  Mum never calls.

  “Mum, it’s really early,” I say looking at the clock showing four-thirteen in the morning.

  “Delia, sweetheart it’s your father.” There’s an edge in her voice that instantly uneases me.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “He’s just been taken to hospital with a suspected heart attack. Darling he’s been so stressed about you lately and I think it has taken its toll on him,” she replies and starts to cry. My chest feels tight, like it’s constricting and squeezing until there’s nothing left. I realise I’m not breathing and I take in a lungful of air. Colt looks at me with his brows creased and he starts to rub my back.

  “Will he be okay?” Tears start to stream down my face while an enormous amount of guilt falls on my shoulders. I should be there. If it wasn’t for me being away this would never have happened.