Just Like Em

by Marion Ekholm

  * * *

  SAMANTHA’S REMARKS WERE downright laughable, Em thought. With Karen’s image dominating the whole room, she hadn’t been able to talk to him, let alone imagine Roger kissing her. She had to focus on what she planned to say—Roger had to know her mother might consider the job, even though it would create problems for her and Sammy.

  “What’s the matter, Em? You haven’t been your usual bubbly self.” Roger stopped by the door, holding on to the doorknob, limiting her space. “Are you angry with me?”

  “No.” Em closed her eyes and ran her hand across her forehead. Why must he stand so close?

  “What’s the problem, then?”

  “My mother.”

  “Doris? What’s wrong?” Alarm rang in his voice, and she opened her eyes to see the deep concern reflected in his.

  “Mom might be interested in your housekeeper position.” She expected some delight, but not the hearty laughter that percolated from deep inside his chest.

  “She is?”

  “She might be. She wants more things to occupy her time, and she’s lonely for children.”

  “Well, call her and tell her she’s hired,” he said with unqualified joy in his voice. “I want this settled tonight.”

  “I haven’t mentioned it, yet, so it’s not a sure thing.”

  Immediately he sobered. “You still don’t want her to take the job. Is that what’s had you so uptight tonight?”

  “I wasn’t uptight. I...”

  “Sweetheart, take my word for it,” he said as he attempted to wrap an arm around her. Em moved out of his reach. “You were very uptight, and I’d like to remedy the situation.”

  “How? By rubbing my feet, cuddling in a chair?” The words spewed out from someplace deep inside her, lacking any inhibition. “You’ve got enough memories of Karen in this house. I don’t have to provide you with more.”

  Surprise and a sudden flush covered Roger’s face.

  “I’m sorry,” Em said.

  “Don’t be. I deserved it. You don’t know how many times I wished I could take back what I said at the hospital and tell you what I really meant.”

  “Which was?” Hope lingered just a little out of reach.

  Roger held up a hand: a stop signal. “I have to say this first, so don’t go ballistic.”

  Em chuckled. “I never go ballistic and I don’t explode. Usually,” she added as an afterthought. “Go on,” she said when he continued to stare at her without comment.

  “I loved Karen very much. I never thought anyone could take her place. Our time together, you and me,” he pointed to her and himself before raising his hand again and reiterating that signal to stop, “was so special. It reminded me of what I missed with Karen but I... I’m not saying this right.” He dropped his hand and eyed his feet.

  “I made you think of Karen.”

  His head shot up. “No! I was thinking of you, and how you made me feel.” When Em didn’t respond, he continued, “I like being with you.”

  Em gazed at the purse she clutched. “I like being with you, too.” She caught her lower lip with her teeth and looked up at him. “This might come as a surprise. Remember when I stayed with Jodie that summer?”

  Roger nodded, his forehead furrowed.

  “I had a crush on you back then.” She could barely believe her confession. He remained immobile.

  An eternity passed. “You liked me?”

  Em nodded.

  “That’s why you deflated my tires and poured paint in my shoes, because you liked me?”

  She nodded again. On her last day with the Holdens, she had tried anything she could think of to make him notice her. And he did, chasing her down the street with vows of death and destruction. If he hadn’t tripped...

  They’d never seen each other again until that day at Metro.

  “If I had caught you that day...”

  Em quickly added, “You have to remember I was Samantha’s age at the time. How else could I gain your attention? I was a little naive....”

  “A little?”

  “Okay, a lot. You didn’t hurt yourself when you fell, did you?”

  Roger chortled. “It’s a bit late, but thanks for asking. After four weeks in the hospital...”

  “No!”

  He laughed outright. “Here’s a point to keep in mind for future reference.” He decreased the space between them. “I respond much more favorably when a person is nice to me.”

  Em grinned. “I’ll try to be nice.”

  “And I’ll try to say what I mean.” Roger glanced up, moved closer to her ear and whispered, “We have an audience.”

  Grasping one of her hands, he started down the hall, still watching the top of the stairs. “It’s time you were all in bed,” he shouted.

  Em looked up and saw the twins in their underwear, peeking through the railing. They didn’t move.

  “I’m sending Sophia up there, and I don’t want anyone coming down the stairs.” He walked toward the living room, where they had interviewed the women. “That should give us some privacy.”

  “Oh, really. What do you have in mind?” Em stopped just outside the archway. “Not in there,” she said, unwilling to see that portrait of Karen again.

  Sophia was coming out of the kitchen. “I’ll take care of the boys.”

  “Okay, If I show Em your suite? We’re going to offer her mother your job, and I’d like to show Em what the rooms are like.”

  “Oh, that’s so good.” She reached for Em’s hand and pressed it before adding, “Of course. Just don’t mind the mess. I’ve been packing.”

  CHAPTER TEN

  “I LOVE THAT woman,” Roger said, as he led Em into Sophia’s suite. “That door takes you into a hallway connected to the outside, the garage and the laundry room.” He opened another door into a small sitting room. “Doris will have her own TV and phone.” He continued to the bathroom. “A standing shower as well as a tub.” Still on the move, Roger walked through the bathroom into an oversize bedroom. “What do you think? There’s a walk-in closet, but I don’t want to disturb Sophia’s things.”

  Em gazed in awe at the peach-colored walls. “You have more room in here than we have in our entire apartment.”

  Instead of going into the bathroom again, Roger directed her though another door back into the sitting room. He pointed to the blue chintz couch. “Have a seat. I want to hear all about this crush you had on me. I’m what, six, seven years older than you? Why on earth would a teenage girl have any interest in someone so much older? Is that typical? Could Samantha go for college guys?” He placed his arm over the back of the couch and leaned against the cushions.

  Em sat, but didn’t relax, afraid she’d end up with Roger’s arm around her shoulders if she got too comfortable. And although that idea had some perks, it also made her uneasy. “I don’t know about Samantha’s interest in boys. She and Amy didn’t share any of that with me.”

  “But when you were fourteen, college boys appealed to you?”

  Em felt flustered. Why had she ever decided to share her thoughts as a teenager with Roger? “Let’s put it this way. Age wasn’t anything I considered. I thought you were cute.”

  Roger leaned back and laughed, swatting his thigh with an open hand. He sat up. “Don’t be offended, but you didn’t appeal to me at all.” He moved closer. “However, you’ve improved over the years. I particularly like it when you wear your hair down.” He reached up and stopped. “Mind if I...?”

  Em offered no resistance and one by one, he pulled the hairpins from her French twist. She closed her eyes. He ran his fingers through her hair. “Smells nice.”

  Moving back against the cushions, he asked, “What do you suppose Samantha meant by kissy, kissy?”

  Since it didn’t
appear he planned to kiss her, Em opened her eyes.“Probably a reference to our discussion while shopping.” He needed to know Samantha’s thoughts about her birth.

  “Tell me. Obviously, I haven’t a clue what goes through a teenage girl’s mind.”

  “The girls wanted to know if you and I were having sex.” Em looked down at her hands, afraid her face had turned scarlet from the heat she felt rising there.

  “What?” The word blasted from his lungs, and he momentarily left the couch, only to bounce back roughly against the cushions. “Where did that come from? Do they even know anything about what it entails? You and I....” He shook his head. “Oh, great. I’ll have to talk to Samantha.”

  “There’s more.” She looked at him out of the corner of her eye.

  He stared at her with disbelief.

  “When this kissy thing came up, Amy said it could lead...there.” Em made a gesture with her hand, unwilling to continue using the word the girls had used. “I told them not to worry. I don’t do that unless I’m married.” She paused, waiting for a reaction. Nothing. “And that’s when your daughter said, ‘That’s not what my father does,’ or something to that effect.”

  He sat forward, leaning toward Em. “She thinks I fool around?” He flopped back again, this time massaging his forehead with both hands. “Where did she get that idea?”

  “You got Karen pregnant before marriage.”

  His movement stilled, and he gazed at the far wall.

  “She knows it, and it bothered her.” Em leaned toward him and placed her hand on his arm. “I told her that her birth was a happy thing, something that brought you and Karen closer together.”

  When she removed her hand, he looked at her. “That’s it?”

  “She knows she wasn’t a preemie, and she broached the subject when she thought we might be fooling around.”

  “Now I know what she meant when she said, ‘Don’t do anything you don’t want me to do.’”

  “Raising kids is hard.”

  “What’s harder,” Roger added, “is living by the rules we want them to follow.” He stood, indicating their conversation had ended. As they left Sophia’s suite, he asked, “In your teenage fantasies, did we ever kiss?”

  “What do you think?” She glanced his way, having no intention of divulging her fantasies.

  When they reached the door to the porch, he opened it and walked Em to her car. “I figured we could give that kissy, kissy business a try just to prove it doesn’t lead to sex.”

  Em laughed and opened the door to her car. “Shame on you, Roger. You should know that’s exactly where it goes.” She was still laughing as she drove off.

  * * *

  “SO YOU LIKE this Miss Em?” Sophia asked as she poured his coffee the next morning.

  Roger regarded her, not too sure he knew what she was talking about. Except for removing those hairpins, they hadn’t done anything that Sophia could question. And that hadn’t even happened in front of her.

  “I was showing her your room, Sophia.”

  “And she likes it?”

  “I think so.” He thought back to his conversation with Em and couldn’t recall if she’d said anything about the suite. He’d spent most of the night planning how he’d approach his daughter about the subject he and Em had discussed.

  Sophia sat down opposite him, a grin extending from ear to ear. “This Miss Em is the one, eh? Nice lady. The children like her. If she came to live here, it would solve all your problems. You can drive to Tucson, and we’ll make it a double wedding.” She got up and danced around, swinging her hips and snapping her fingers. “In Tucson, we know how to party. You think about it.”

  Roger stood, leaned across the table, and nearly upset his coffee. “Wait a minute, Sophia. You’ve got it wrong. We’re not getting married.” The idea was preposterous. Him and Auntie Em? Okay, so she was wonderful. And she was great with kids—hers, his and Karen’s.

  Roger took his seat as a cold sweat broke out on his forehead. Karen. She hadn’t been in his thoughts much over the past few days. How could that be? Even after her death, she had been so much a part of him.

  “It’s not right,” Sophia said. Roger looked up to see her glaring down at him, hands on hips. “A man needs a woman. One who’s alive, like Miss Em. But you have to do it right for the children. You keep Miss Karen in here,” she said, hitting her chest with a fist, “but you make room for Miss Em, too.”

  Sophia returned to the sink then paused. She turned and shook her index finger at him. “You do the right thing or you’ll be one sorry hombre. Miss Em won’t wait around forever.”

  * * *

  “THIS IS NICE of you to treat me to dinner, Roger,” Doris said as he escorted her and Em into Red Lobster. “But I might as well warn you, I won’t reconsider, even after eating the most expensive lobster they have to offer.”

  He might be wasting time and money if Doris wasn’t about to change her mind, but at least it gave him another chance to see Em. She looked lovely tonight, her hair loose over her back and shoulders.

  Sophia’s remarks about marriage had him considering the possibility. He certainly needed someone to take charge when he couldn’t be around. Em not only created a wonderful relationship of trust and respect with his daughter but also understood the needs of his boys. Those attributes alone would be enough to make the commitment worthwhile.

  All he could see were benefits for himself and his children. What could he possibly offer Em? Why would she want to saddle herself with three children and a man with an unsure future?

  He turned to Doris once their orders were taken. “When Em called me this morning, she mentioned you were offended that I hadn’t asked you myself.”

  “That’s not why I said no.”

  “Well, what is? I really wish you’d reconsider. Last night I had nightmares about the last woman I interviewed taking every TV in our house and locking herself in her room. There’s got to be some way I can convince you to take the job, even if it’s only temporary.”

  Both he and Em placed their arms on the table and leaned toward Doris.

  Doris took a deep breath and blew the air out before replying. She glanced at her daughter then directed her remarks to Roger. “Em moved to Phoenix for two reasons—to help me pay the rent so we could save and eventually buy our own place and so I could see my grandson grow up. If I’m off taking care of your kids, I’ll never see my Sammy.”

  “But you will. Sammy will walk home with my boys, and Em can pick him up here when she gets out of work.”

  “Then there’s the money. What you pay me won’t equal what I can earn as a substitute teacher. How will we ever save for our own place?”

  “But, Ma, you could end up working all day in the classroom. It would be just like it was before you retired, only you’d be going from one classroom to another. You’d be exhausted. And I can come over on weekends to help. Clean, baby-sit, whatever, so you can rest. I can manage the rent and in a few months I’ll be due a raise.”

  Doris reached for her purse and pulled out an envelope. “I was hoping to cover this myself, but next month the rent goes up.” She handed the envelope to her daughter.

  Roger watched the play of emotions over Em’s face, the intense concentration followed by a look of dismay. “Can they do this?” she asked. “It says we have to sign a two-year lease or vacate the apartment.” Em pushed the paper across the table, and Roger fought a desire to pick it up and read for himself. “We could never afford that. I’ll just have to find another place to live.”

  “And take Sammy away from his friends? You won’t find anything in this area for less, and I’d have no way of watching him after school if he couldn’t walk home with Roger’s boys.” Doris turned her attention to Roger. “So, I’m sorry, but you’ll just have to find someone else.”


  “There is another possibility,” Roger said as he rubbed his chin and gazed at the colorful fishes adorning the wall.

  Doris placed her elbows on the table and leaned in. “What’s that?”

  “We could take Sammy’s suggestion.”

  “No,” Em said, emphatically. “It’s out of the question.” He couldn’t tell if Em was startled or annoyed, but it definitely intrigued Doris.

  “What suggestion?”

  Em tossed her napkin on the table and looked everywhere but at him. “It won’t work. How could you bring it up, especially after...”

  “What happened?” Doris asked but received no answer.

  Roger was more inclined to agree with Em. After last night, he wasn’t sure he could keep his distance if she resided in the same house. “Maybe you’re right.”

  “Am I part of this discussion or not?” Doris asked, her voice taking on a tone that turned heads around in the restaurant. “Tell me what you two are talking about, or you can eat the lobster by yourself.”

  Roger sat back against the bench seat. “Sammy suggested all of you move into my place. He’d stay with the twins, and you and Em could share the apartment.”

  “I tell you, that boy is a marvel.” Doris beamed as she reached out to grip Em’s arm.

  “You like the idea?” Roger asked. When Em continued to stare at her mother in open-mouthed dismay, Roger reached over and patted her hand. “See, she likes the idea.”

  “I still could substitute teach,” Doris continued, “and you could help with the housework so I’d have enough energy left to watch the kids. We both save on rent, and you save on childcare. In no time at all, we can have enough for our own little house and forget paying some landlord a fortune.” Doris reached over and grasped Roger’s hand.

  “So you’ll do it?” he asked.

  Em still hadn’t looked at him. Roger slipped his hand over hers so that the three of them connected.

  “It’s up to Em.”

  Em glanced up, her eyes liquid pools of blue. Was she about to cry? He squeezed her hand in an attempt to offer support.