Just Like Em

by Marion Ekholm

  * * *

  “HERE’S MY LIST.”

  Em was drinking coffee at the kitchen table the following Saturday morning when Samantha came in and handed her a paper with names of boys and girls she wanted to come to her party. “A few of the guys are sophomores and one’s a junior. You don’t think Dad’s going to make a big deal about that, do you?”

  Em glanced down at what appeared to be twenty-plus names. Amy was at the top of the list. A few names had been crossed out. Em placed her coffee cup on the table and considered the possibilities. She wished there had been more time to discuss the party with Roger, so she wouldn’t have to make so many of these decisions herself.

  During the week, he had called often but usually he was exhausted from dealing with the problems at work. When she’d brought up the subject of the party, he had asked her to handle it. She planned to do just that, keeping it within his guidelines. That meant it would fall short of Samantha’s expectations.

  “We’ll have to make out invitations and confirm with your father how many guests you can have.”

  “I already asked them all. The ones crossed out can’t come.”

  “Samantha, you’re getting ahead of yourself here. We haven’t even discussed this. What if your father doesn’t want such a big crowd?”

  “I’m not telling people I already asked they can’t come. This is my party, Em. Don’t go spoiling it.”

  We’re back to the cantankerous teenager, Em thought as she watched Samantha pace the kitchen tile in agitation. A lot of attitude had developed since her father left, and Em was at a loss to discover the cause. Any progress she had made with the girl seemed to backslide daily. Was it her new school? Her friends? Her birthday expectations?

  “I’m not spoiling it. But there will be rules you’ll have to abide by. This isn’t going to be a free-for-all where you can just do what you want.”

  “No, but you can?” Samantha stopped, placed her hands on her hips and glared at Em.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “You’re doing it with my father!”

  Were they back to that business about sex? Except for that furtive kiss Roger gave her at the pool , they’d barely touched. And Samantha hadn’t even been around. Em nearly rose from her chair. “Explain yourself. I haven’t the slightest idea what you’re talking about.”

  “Yes, you do. I saw you dancing, making out at the wedding. You can’t tell me it stops when you enter our house.”

  With a push, Em glided away from the table and stood to face her accuser. “That’s exactly what I’m telling you. And don’t think you can make me the target when you can’t get your own way. There will be rules set down for this party or there won’t be one.”

  Without comment, Samantha turned and walked into the hall. “You hear me?” Em called after her, but Samantha didn’t respond.

  Em flopped down in her chair in disgust. “You sure handled that well,” she mumbled. How was she supposed to approach Roger with this new development? And why was Samantha attacking her that way?

  “Problems?” Doris asked as she took the seat across from Em. “I saw the youngest lady of the house going off in a huff. Didn’t even say hello.”

  “She’s planning this party for more than twenty kids.”

  “She sure is going to make out. A party for her friends on Saturday night and one for the relatives on Sunday.”

  Although Samantha’s accusations had hurt her deeply, Em didn’t want to reveal her real concerns to her mother. Instead, she broached another subject that had also been bothering her. “How will Roger afford it? I mean, two parties. He’s losing his job, yet he hasn’t curtailed his spending one bit.”

  “Don’t you start worrying about his finances, too. It’s Roger’s problem, not yours. By the way, I got a note from Betty that went to our old address. She and Dave will be docking in Los Angeles, and they plan to be here for their granddaughter’s birthday.”

  “Won’t they be surprised when they learn we’re living with their son.” Em picked up the remains of her coffee and tossed it in the sink.

  “Not as surprised as Samantha’s other grandmother was. She’s been downright rude whenever I’ve answered the phone. She’s actually hung up on me a few times when she heard my voice.”

  “Why is she calling?”

  “To talk to Samantha. They go at it for quite some time, almost every day, although I don’t think the girl initiates the calls.”

  “Maybe she’s just trying to find out what Samantha would like for her birthday.”

  “Maybe.”

  The doorbell rang and Doris went to answer. A few moments later she shouted, “Samantha. It’s Amy.”

  The more Em thought about it, the less she liked the idea of running two parties. Roger had instructed her to take the cash he’d set aside for emergencies and use it for his daughter’s party. If Samantha didn’t cooperate, the whole thing could become a nightmare. But things had to be settled. No time like the present, Em decided, as she headed toward Samantha’s room.

  * * *

  “I WANT A tent like the one Sophia had with tiny white lights.” Samantha sat cross-legged on the floor of her room with Amy settled on the bed. Em propped herself on the floor against the wall and took notes on what appeared to be a debutante’s debut.

  “And a DJ?” Amy added.

  “Right. Did you get that?” Samantha motioned to Em, who reluctantly wrote it down.

  “This will be the best party ever. Everyone will wish they had been invited.”

  Em looked at the expanded list. Everyone had been invited. This was coasting into something totally out of control, and even though it could alienate Samantha forever, Em had to put a stop to it. She tossed a roll of bills onto the floor near Samantha’s foot.

  “This is how much we have to spend, and your father said it won’t be a dime over that.”

  Samantha picked up the money, and Amy jumped down to help count it. “Wow! This is going to be outrageous.”

  “Now, we find out what all the things on your list will cost and determine what will be possible.”

  Fifteen minutes later, they discovered most everything on the list had to be eliminated. The DJ alone would consume all the money.

  “How important is food? Music? Lights? Games? Do you want swimming? You want it outside or in the family room? I need some input here, girls. Do you want casual clothes or dress up?” No response.

  The two girls stared dejectedly at the paper in front of them, and the dark lines crossing out most of the items they had requested. Samantha looked about ready to cry.

  “Come on now. What’s the most important thing?”

  “Food,” Amy said. “Everyone likes pizza.”

  “Okay. Pizza it is. I’ll find where we can get the best deal.”

  “I don’t like pizza.” Samantha’s scowl spoke volumes as she sat back and folded her arms over her chest.

  “What do you suggest?”

  “I like subs, like those long ones that come in a box.”

  “Good suggestion. How about we go half subs and half pizzas?”

  A glimmer of a smile tweaked the corners of Samantha’s mouth. “But no anchovies.”

  NO ANCHOVIES, Em wrote boldly across the paper. “What do you want to drink?”

  “Vodka!” Amy shouted.

  Em glanced at Samantha. “Do you want to suggest something?”

  They settled on a cooler full of a variety of pop, water and fruit juice. The party would be held late afternoon to early evening, and would definitely end at 9:00 p.m. Christmas lights, now packed away in the garage, could be strung to provide the festive quality. Since they’d be setting up her father’s ancient sound system on the patio, Amy said they could use her iPod and dock for the dancing, which was a
must and would take place after swimming and the meal.

  With the girls’ help, Em designed invitations on her computer, and by late that day, all the plans were complete. Never had she spent a more exhausting day.

  * * *

  SUNDAY AFTERNOON WAS tranquil, a nice change from her previous day. Amy had stayed overnight, so now the two girls watched the music channels in the family room to determine what songs they wanted for the party. At least Em didn’t have to contribute her own ideas. She still preferred music from the 80s to any of the modern tunes.

  Doris had taken over Roger’s office so that she could review plans for a second-grade class—her first substitute assignment. The teacher’s father had died, and she’d be out for a week.

  After a supervised swim, the boys had retired to their bedroom to play different games on their Xbox. Now Em had nothing to do but relax on her own. She thumbed through the mail that had arrived the previous day. Credit card statement. Telephone bill. Another letter from Bradley using her self-addressed stamped envelopes with her old address crossed out and the new one added by the post office.

  This envelope was twice as thick as the previous one. Em tore it open. Copies of the bills she had torn up plus new ones fell over the kitchen table.

  “What the...?” She read the handwritten note several times. “This is to inform you that I have not received payment. If it and the additional items aren’t paid for by the end of this month, I will be contacting my lawyer concerning matters we discussed earlier. BST”

  Em gathered all the papers and made a beeline for her room. Where had she put her divorce papers? She could remember the exact place in the apartment, but during their move, she hadn’t kept track of them. An hour later, she was still delving into boxes in the garage, when Doris came in to find her.

  “What’s going on, Em? Our room looks like a cyclone hit it and this...” She circled the open boxes with items strewn around the cement floor. “What are you looking for?”

  “My divorce papers.” Em pushed away from the spot where she had been kneeling and stood. She brushed back a strand of hair that had gotten loose from her ponytail and looked around her in dismay. “I can’t find them. I don’t know where all my legal papers are, and that worm has the gall to say I’m supposed to pay for his college expenses.”

  “That’s absurd. You’re divorced. How can he...?”

  “I don’t know, Ma!” Em shouted in frustration. “Maybe there’s something in my papers that says I have to pay for them. I won’t know until I find those damn documents.”

  Em pushed past her mother and went back to her room with one destination in mind—the drawer where she had seen her cigarettes. They were months older than the ones she had tossed near Skull Valley, but they would have to do. Em grabbed the soft pack and some matches, and stuffed them in her shorts pocket before her mother entered their room.

  “I’ll take care of this mess later,” Em said as she headed for the door. “Right now I need some space.”

  “Em...”

  “Not now, Mom.” She held her hand up to ward off any further conversation. “I really can’t handle anything more right now.”

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  “I’M NOT GOOD with this legal mumbo jumbo.” Em held her cell phone to her ear and took another puff on her cigarette and exhaled. Stale. She’d have to invest in fresh cigarettes if she expected any satisfaction from her sometime habit. “Once I find my papers, I’ll need someone to go over them with me.”

  “I’ll ask Harve,” Jodie replied in a no-nonsense voice.

  “No. Don’t bother him. You were a paralegal. If you could explain...”

  “Of course. I’ve gone through hundreds of divorce papers. From what you’ve told me, that ex of yours needs to be run over by an SUV.”

  “I’d prefer an eighteen-wheeler.”

  Jodie chuckled. “Right. Go for maximum damage.”

  “Bradley gave me to the end of this month.”

  “Well, as soon as you find them, phone me.”

  Em caught a sob in her throat. “Jodie. I’m just so afraid he might take Sammy away from me.”

  After she hung up, Em drew another puff, inhaling deeply. The dry, dirty taste held no appeal whatsoever. She tossed the cigarette to the ground and mashed it into the sidewalk with her sandaled foot. Oh, how she’d love to do that to Bradley.

  It was dark by the time she got home. She went directly into the garage and started in on the boxes again.

  “You in here, Em?” her mother called.

  “Yes. I’m still looking.” A scorpion skittered near her foot when she moved one of the boxes. It startled her, and a chill ran down her spine. She hated the creatures, and although their sting wasn’t lethal, it could cause great discomfort. She quickly stomped on the scorpion before it could find another hiding place.

  “There’s no air-conditioning in here.” Doris wiped the sweat from her forehead and pushed her damp hair back.

  “I know, Ma. You don’t have to help. You should be getting ready for tomorrow’s class. You need your sleep.”

  “Like I’d be able to sleep knowing you’re out here banging around....”

  “I found it!” Hugging the papers to her chest, Em closed her eyes and whispered, “Thank you.”

  She had started for the door, when Doris called out, “You just going to leave this mess?”

  Em turned around. Several boxes sat on the hood of Roger’s Mustang. She removed them and placed them on the floor. “The mess is not going anywhere. I can tidy it tomorrow. In the meantime, you have to get ready for bed, and I need to go over these papers. Come on,” she insisted with an agitated wave of her hand when her mother refused to budge.

  “By the way,” Doris said, following her out, “the reason I came out here to begin with was that Roger called. He asked that you call him back.”

  “Oh, but it’s so late.” Darn that Bradley, Em thought. His rotten letter even destroyed her chance to talk with Roger.

  “That’s okay. He said whenever you came in no matter how late. I didn’t mention why you were out smoking up a storm.”

  Em ground her teeth before answering. “I had good cause.”

  “That may be, but you’d better shower and throw your clothes in the washing machine if you don’t want Sammy to catch on. He’s the best smoke detector going.”

  “No better than you.” Em picked up her shirt and took a whiff. Sure enough. The smell was in her clothes. Probably her hair, too. She’d better shower before taking a chance and leaving the odor around the house. She went into the bathroom she shared with her mother and began to strip.

  “Don’t forget,” Doris said through the door. “You’re getting the boys off to school tomorrow. I’ll be home by the time they’re back.”

  Em tossed her clothes into the sink. “Okay.” She ran the water and squirted some hand soap over the clothes. While they soaked, she took her shower.

  Once dressed in her night clothes, she slipped into her bedroom. “You asleep yet?”

  “Yes.”

  Em went over and sat on the edge of her mother’s bed. “I apologize for my behavior today. I was short with you and ran out, leaving you with the kids. You’re a treasure for putting up with me.”

  Doris patted Em’s bare leg. “You worry me sometimes. Whenever Bradley’s in the picture you get in a state.”

  “You’re right. He knows exactly what to do to rile me. But Jodie has agreed to go over the papers with me. If necessary, I’ll hire Harve as my lawyer to protect my rights, as well as Sammy’s. No way will I let him get his hands on my son.” As she rose from the bed, Em added, “And I’ll make supper tomorrow so you can relax after work.”

  Thank goodness she had someone to go over the legal papers, Em thought as she left their bedroom. That kno
wledge and the soothing shower helped wash away all the day’s anxieties.

  * * *

  EM FOUND A lounge chair by the pool and dialed Roger’s number. He sounded groggy, as though she had roused him from a deep sleep.

  “I’m sorry about calling you so late, but Mom said you needed to speak to me.”

  “Yes. Yes. What time is it anyway? Are we still in the same time zone?”

  “It’s after eleven.”

  “Same here. Where were you? Your mother said you disappeared before supper.”

  Em hesitated. No way would she mention Bradley’s letter, or the fear that had taken hold of her earlier. “An errand. Samantha decided what she wants for her party, and I needed to check out some details.”

  “So everything’s settled?”

  “The invitations are ready. She’s distributing them tomorrow in school.” Em lay back on the cushions and watched the dark clouds roll over the distant mountains. They might get rain again tonight. “The ones for the relatives went out in the mail.”

  “I really appreciate your taking over this chore. How many are coming?”

  “If they all show up, twenty on Saturday and about the same on Sunday.”

  There was a long pause and Em wondered if he had hung up or gone back to sleep. “Em, can I say something without getting you upset?”

  Em sat up. The question had come out of nowhere, and she wasn’t too sure how to respond. “I don’t know.” She waited a moment, not sure what he might want to say.

  “Listen. Don’t hang up, okay? If I’m overstepping let me know. Just...don’t hang up.”

  She lay back against the cushions. “Go ahead.”

  He sighed. “Every time I mention Karen, you shut down.” He waited but Em didn’t offer any comment. “I’m going to say this, this one time. I had a wonderful marriage with Karen. We loved each other very much, and it’s been hard...accepting the fact that she’s gone. Out of my life. Out of the children’s lives.”

  He paused again but Em couldn’t add anything. “You still there?”

  “Yes.”

  “I like being with you. And when we’re together, Karen is the furthest...” He stopped again. “My thoughts are about how you make me feel, how you make me laugh.” Another pause. His voice dropped to a near whisper. “How I want to hold you and kiss you. You, Em, not...” He didn’t bother to add Karen’s name.