by K. M. Hodge
“I know you can love someone, Alex.” She sighed. “I just don’t want you to get hurt.”
He was getting a little tired of her go-to line regarding Katherine. The only person that was hurting him now was Doc.
After a long, uncomfortable pause, she continued. “I didn’t call you to fight.”
He unclenched his jaw. “I don’t want to fight with you, either.”
“Can I tell you the real reason I called?”
He exhaled, relaxing his tensed muscles. “Sure, why?”
“I selfishly wanted to be the first person to wish you happy birthday,” she said.
“Thanks, Doc. I totally forgot about my birthday.” He laughed and looked at his watch and saw that, sure enough, he was officially another year older.
The tension between them fell away and they slipped into their usual conversational tones, chatting about her pregnancy, and about Chris shipping off with Special Forces for six months. When they hung up, it was after 1:00 AM and he was bleary-eyed and hungry for sleep.
The muscles in his back and shoulders protested as he stretched and made his way through the darkened hallway to their bedroom. He quickly shed his pants and shirt and crawled into bed beside Katherine. As was becoming habit between them, she curled up against him in her sleep, and he used his index fingers to tuck away the loose strands of fiery red hair behind her ear.
So beautiful.
He tipped up her chin and softly kissed her sleep-slackened lips.
Still half asleep, she smiled rested her head on his bare chest.
He circled his arms around her and fell asleep with a small, contented smile on his face.
***
Despite the late hour he took to bed, he was wide awake at the break of dawn. His stomach growled and he thought of pancakes. He had been working hard and deserved a treat, and a big birthday breakfast would be a change of pace from his usual diet of coffee and nicotine.
He slipped out of bed, careful not to wake Katherine.
In the kitchen, he turned the radio on to the adult alternative station and got to work. It didn’t take long for him to pile up a big stack of pancakes beside him. Just as the song on the radio changed to “Leather and Lace” by Stevie Nicks, he heard a stifled giggle behind him. He turned to see Katherine poised in the entrance, dressed in one of his t-shirts, her hand covering her smiling face. He turned off the burner, pivoted to place the finished pancake on top of the already large mound, and took two long strides across the room.
He pulled her up against him and dipped his face down to hers. “Good morning, Beautiful.” He smiled as he waltzed her around the kitchen, singing in her ear along with Don Henley’s part of the song. The words hit home for him.
I need to know.
When she tipped her face up to his, he asked, “Could you? Could you love me, Katherine?”
Her eyes widened and she blinked back tears as she nodded an emphatic yes.
“Really?” His breathing hitched.
She nodded again. “Yes,” she said, her voice just above a whisper.
As if to prove her point, she rose on her tiptoes and kissed his smiling lips. Intimacy between them was still new and rife with agonizing fits and starts.
He knew her regimented course of intensive therapy and medication were helping, but that it was a slow process. That made moments like this hard for him, as their circumstances forced him to ride the brakes through these passionate exchanges, when all he wanted to do was coast through the experience with her.
When her body stiffened, he pulled away from her kiss. Her anxiety was riding shotgun this morning.
His heart hammered in his chest and he was left a little breathless from their short kiss. “Wow.” He smiled. “Best birthday present ever!”
She tilted her head to the side and a wounded expression flashed across her face. “Today’s your birthday? Why didn’t you tell me?”
He shrugged, embarrassed. “I’ve been so busy that I didn’t realize it until this morning.”
Much to his delight she bounced on the balls of her feet. “We have to get a cake!”
He smiled down at her upturned face. God, what she does to me. When she again rose on her tiptoes, he was ready for it—a lazy Sunday morning kiss. He pulled her up against him, and could see the frustrations play out in her eyes, making it harder to keep himself under control.
As usual, it didn’t take long for things to get heated. She deepened their kiss, moaning with pleasure as she pulled him in tighter.
He slipped his hands underneath the t-shirt and rested them against the small of her back, holding her close. When his phone buzzed on the counter with an incoming text message, she groaned, echoing his own frustrations at the interruption.
“Hold that thought.” He crossed to the room and picked up his phone. “Shit,” he mumbled under his breath.
She turned her head. “What?”
“I have to take this, excuse me,” he said in a rush as he breezed past her and out the back door.
This was a call he would have to make in private. He caught her disappointed look out of the corner of his eye, but this couldn’t wait.
As he jogged up the fire escape, he deleted the message.
I have a hog that you might be interested in. I have five minutes to talk if you want more details.
He had her listed in his phone as a bike repair shop. When she answered on the first ring, he let out a sigh of relief. “Are you safe? Do you need to be pulled out?” he asked in a rush of concern.
“Keep your panties on, I’m fine. Billy just stepped out for smokes and I’ve been trying to find a time to call you. I heard you might be looking for information on that Syndicate group in Virginia,” she said, perhaps dangling the carrot to see if he would jump.
He bit his lip hard. Damn her! He had put out some feelers for information from some of his assets and sources, but had kept Sally out of the loop. The cost for her information was too high for him right now.
“What makes you think I want anything on them?” He hoped to get more information before he showed all his cards.
She huffed. “You don’t fool me, Spook. I don’t have time for this cat and mouse shit, anyways. Billy will be home any minute and he doesn’t really like me talking to you.” Her comment served as a jab, reminding him of the time Billy had caught them together outside some dive bar in Maryland.
He let out a tired sigh. This woman exhausted him. “What do you want, Sal?”
“I want the same deal as before.”
He ran his fingers through his messy hair. Fuck! He couldn’t say no. She always brought him solid information. “Deal. Text me when you have something, and I will do everything I can to get to you. I’ll need at least a five-hour window, though.”
“Not in the D.C. metro anymore, are you?” She was far too clever for her own good, but that had always been part of her appeal.
“Just call me when you have something.” The terms of their arrangement could be hashed out later.
“Billy is back. I have to go. I’ll text you when I have what you need,” she said in a rush, and then the line went dead.
Alex sank down on the step of the fire escape. Sally was one of his most reliable assets for getting good, on-the-ground information for criminal activity in the D.C. Metro. She might come through for them, but her terms had always been information in exchange for sex. Before, that kind of an exchange had never been a problem—quite to the contrary.
Katherine had changed that.
Ever the good soldier, he followed protocol and called his boss, who answered on the third ring.
“I thought you were on leave, Bailey,” he said with no small amount of sarcasm.
Alex sighed. “Sally just called.”
His boss grumbled on the other line. Everyone at the agency was aware of what a handful Sally Ride could be.
“She’s your asset. Leave or no leave, you’re gonna to have to manage her.”
Alex’s head dr
opped. “Yes sir.”
He ended the call and slammed his fist against the decorative pergola.
Happy... fucking... birthday to me.
***
Rayburn Building
Washington, D.C.
June 16, 2008
11:45 PM
~~~
Scott Mitchel sat cross-legged on the floor of the tunnel that connected the Rayburn Building to the U.S. Capital. It was a quiet place to sit and think over what his next move would be. He had received a message from his contact at the FBI saying that it looked as though Charles had been arrested and charged with the murder of the two men in Texas and the CIA cunt. The man said one of his subordinates, Emmanuel Richards, arranged for the arrest without his prior knowledge or consent. He also said that someone on the outside had arranged the meeting between the FBI and Charles MacAvoy, but it was unclear who that man was at the moment.
He’ll pay, whoever he is. Scott clenched and unclenched his fist.
As he thumbed through his burner phone, he found the number he was looking for and called it.
His right-hand man, Jean, answered on the second ring. “What’s up, boss?”
“I need you to put some tails out on everyone associated with Katherine. Has anything shown up on travel manifests?”
“No. Your sister and that CIA agent appear to have holed-up somewhere.”
Scott pinched the bridge of his nose. “Call me if anything out of the ordinary happens.”
“Yes sir!”
He ended the call and rested his throbbing head against the cool wall. Charles was going to ruin everything for him. There had to be a way to get to him and end that threat once and for all, even if he had to do it with his own bare hands.
Chapter 18
CIA Safe House
Wrigleyville Neighborhood
Chicago, Illinois
August 21, 2008
9:00 AM
~~~
Alex grumbled as he packed his suitcase for the trip back to the East Coast. He had been issued a new CIA identity so he wouldn’t show up on anyone’s radar, because they’d managed to catch some chatter from various groups—there was a price on his head. No one knew yet the extent of The Syndicate’s connections, so they had to play it safe. The last thing he needed was to get shot.
In a few minutes, he would be leaving for an indeterminate amount of time. Betty and Brian had agreed to come and stay with Katherine while he was gone, but he still felt anxious at the thought of leaving her side. He couldn’t shake the memory of what had happened to her the last time he’d left. That night they had lain awake all night, talking and fooling around. In the two months they’d been living at the safe house, the physical aspect of their relationship had begun to evolve.
A couple of times, things had gotten pretty hot and heavy between them, but their mutual anxieties always prevented things from escalating too far. Despite this, he’d never been so happy in his entire life. Even though things were still new between them, he had pledged faithfulness to her. She never said anything, but he could tell that she worried about of his addiction. With her help, he was working the steps of the program, and for the first time in a long time he was proud of himself—no small feat.
The day before, Alex had gotten a call from Sally with information she would only share in person. After talking it over with Richards and Magellan, they decided it was vital for him to come back to the East Coast to present his findings to the joint investigative team, and to get the information from his source. He had a full report that outlined a strong enough paper trail to help the case along. There hadn’t been a smoking gun, but the information he’d gathered, coupled with whatever Sally had found, might be enough to prosecute. None of his other contacts had come up with anything regarding Katherine’s father, but there was talk about still going through with the case.
The impending trip and the thought of seeing Sally again made him nervous. If Katherine had noticed his apprehension, she never said anything, and for that he was grateful. He was still too ashamed to own up to some aspects of his past. His relationship with Sally had always been complicated, and he didn’t think he could explain it to Katherine.
He looked up from his suitcase just as Katherine sulked into the room. He pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head. “I wish you could go with me.”
She wrapped her arms around his mid-section and snuggled her head against his chest. “Me too.”
He tipped her chin up and brought his mouth down to hers in a soft kiss. “Hmmm.” A shot of electricity shot through him as he deepened the kiss. In her embrace, all his anxiety and fears disappeared. When it was just the two of them, he could forget all about his shameful past behavior and be a better man.
Still, he paced himself. By now he had grown so attuned to her every response that he was able to take them right up to the line she had drawn in the sand between them.
“When are Brian and Betty supposed to get here?” He gave her a suggestive wink.
She smiled slyly up at him. “We have about five minutes.” She bit her bottom lip as he backed her up against the bed, causing them to both topple over onto it.
“Let’s make the best of our last five minutes alone,” he said as he gazed into her loving eyes. Her long legs wrapped around him, making him hiss into her open mouth.
Two can play at that game. He nipped at the curve of her pale neck.
Her breath quickened and she raked her fingers through his hair. She rolled and pinned him down, then dipped down to kiss him passionately on the lips.
Her actions made him tremble and gasp, and he fought to control himself. Baseball, think of baseball.
They both jumped at the sound of the doorbell.
He grumbled under his breath at the intrusion, and would need a minute before he was presentable to company.
Katherine bit her lip, apparently trying to refrain from giggling at his obvious discomfort. She straightened her clothes and bounded off, leaving him alone.
He fell back onto the bed trying to calm his roaring heart. Loving her is going to be the death of me.
***
Dulles International Airport
Dulles, Virginia
August 21, 2008
11:30 AM
~~~
“Hey, is it lame that I miss you already?” Alex asked.
On the other end of the line, Katherine chuckled and whispered into the speaker, “No, but only because I miss you, too. Betty brought puzzles for us to work on.”
He laughed. “I’m sorry. I promise I’ll hurry up and get back to you as soon as I possibly can.”
“You’d better.”
“I love you,” he said in a husky voice. He was overjoyed when she responded in turn. He hung up the phone and put it in his carry-on bag.
As he shouldered his way through the crowds of people at Dulles International, he spotted a very pregnant Doc waiting for him at baggage claim. He broke into an easy run, knocking against people to get to her. When he finally made it to her side, he lifted her off the ground and spun her around.
“Look at you! You’ve never looked more beautiful.”
She had a glow and a fullness about her that made her look like an entirely different person. This was the longest she had ever carried one of her babies, and he was hopeful right along with her that perhaps this was the season for their dreams to be actualized.
Doc held him at arm’s distance, inspecting him like a mother might. “You look pretty good yourself. You’ve gotten some color.” The cold tips of her fingers brushed against his cheek.
He flushed in embarrassment at her attention. “I’ve been helping Katherine in the garden.”
She smiled, letting her hand fall from his reddened cheek. “Come on, we’d better hurry up and get your bags. I’m double parked.”
He chuckled and followed after her in search of his luggage.
***
That night, after dinner, he sneaked out onto the deck to ca
ll Katherine. When he ended the call and went back inside, Doc sat at the table waiting for him.
“It’s been almost three months since you’ve lectured me in person, so I guess I’m due, huh?” he said, gearing up to receive his routine wrist slapping.
She nodded to the chair in front of her, indicating she wanted him to sit down.
“What’s up, Doc?” He turned on the charm like he always did to diffuse the tension in the room.
She shifted in her seat. “How are you really doing?”
He shrugged. “I’m doing okay, I guess.”
“You guess,” she said under her breath. “So the medication is working?”
“Yes, it’s a lot better. I’ve even cut down on smoking.”
“No nightmares?”
He used his finger to traverse the circular knot in the wood of the table. “No, I still have nightmares,” he said under his breath.
“Want to talk about it?”
Alex laughed. “Do I ever?”
He could have left it at that, but Doc was tenacious when it came to his well-being. For better or worse, she had made him her responsibility, and for the most part he didn’t mind that.
“Doc, it’s the same old thing. She left a hole inside me that is never going to go away. This stuff with Sara and Katherine just brought it all back up again. I’ll be fine.” No sooner had he said the words than the realization hit him: he really was fine.
The look in her eye told him that she didn’t believe him. “Are you staying sober?”
He smiled with pride. “Yeah, I’m working the program.”
Her left eyebrow shot up in surprise. “Oh, I thought that was all bullshit?”
“Yeah, well, I guess it isn’t.”
She nodded. “You know what that means? No masturbation and no sex outside a committed relationship.”
“I’m almost three months sober.” He confidently met her worried gaze.
She let out a loud exhalation. “That’s wonderful, Alex!”
He nodded. “The last time was with Sara, the day she turned over Katherine’s location.”
“Oh, Alex,” she said, putting her hand on his and squeezing. “None of that is your fault.” She wet her lips before continuing. “How are things between you and Katherine... physically?”
