Never Deal with Dragons

by Christensen, Lorenda

  “They seem to have hit it off.” Trian leaned his forearms against the rail, his long-fingered hands clasped loosely together.

  I sighed. I shouldn’t be talking to him; I knew better than to trust myself in the same room. Without even trying, he managed to grab my attention as if an invisible wire ran between us, yanking my emotions up and down at will. The puppet and her puppet master.

  “Yeah. I thought they would. That’s why I invited him.”

  “I wish I’d known that.” Trian was silent, his gaze roaming across the darkened landscape below. And then, “I thought you were interested in him.”

  Surprised, I turned my head fully to look at him. “Me?” I choked back a laugh as I tried to imagine listening in awe to the history of dragonscript without my eyes crossing. “No, Carol can have him. They’re cute together. Besides, the last thing I need right now is a relationship. I don’t need the stress. If I screw up at this negotiation…” I let my words trail off, unwilling to contemplate the results of my failure.

  Trian straightened and placed his hands on my shoulders. “Myrna, trust me, you will do fine. You have a natural talent for mediation. Your willingness to approach a problem from different angles is a skill, not a downfall. Trust your instincts. And don’t worry. If the negotiations don’t work out, we’ll find a way to get our team back.”

  In typical Trian fashion, he’d unerringly zeroed in on the real reason for my restlessness and frustration. It wasn’t just my career on the line. While I enjoyed the evening playing cards and laughing with friends there was a group sitting in a prison cell somewhere in China, waiting for me to say the magic words to set them free.

  “Trian. I could spend weeks in the library, pawing through musty textbooks, and I still wouldn’t be ready. The information is there—I just won’t have the time to find it. I’ve scanned all the English translations, and I’m only scratching the surface. My grasp of written dragonscript is hideous. It will take me months to absorb everything I need to know.”

  “So? Find someone who can read dragonscript.”

  “It’s not just the research. I need someone to help me write up a contract detailing the agreement between Richard and Hian-puo’s representative.”

  “If Richard’s busy, have Carol help.”

  I blinked. Why hadn’t I thought of that? Carol worked at a large marketing firm catering to the rebooted Hollywood crowd. Because dragons were by and large footing the bills for the movie industry—they liked their entertainment just as much as the human side—she worked with contracts in dragonscript all the time.

  “Do you think Richard would go for it? I mean, Carol doesn’t have any experience with dragons, not really.”

  “She can read dragonscript. That already puts her on the short list. There aren’t many people who’ve studied the language as extensively as Carol. And if all goes well, you’ll negotiate the release of our team, and we can move on to some trade agreements, which she does have experience with.”

  I smiled. Although fashion was Carol’s interest at CreaTV, she was the company’s go-to gal when they had dragonspeak syndication agreements to decode. Even better, Carol would jump at the chance to spend time with Richard. And when I told her about Lord Relobu’s library, filled with books written in dragonspeak, she’d be over the moon.

  I looked to Trian. Right now it didn’t matter that I didn’t trust him—I’d needed to hear exactly what he told me. With a couple of sentences he’d managed to lift the heavy weight of responsibility from my shoulders. I met his eyes with my own. “Thank you.”

  He stuffed his hands back into the pockets of his jeans as if he were uncomfortable with the praise. “Bring Carol to our next training session. Not much I can do in a week, but I’d feel better if she was at least briefed on the basics.”

  “Will do.” Blowing on my hands to keep them warm, I slipped past him to go inside. Against my better judgment, I stretched onto my toes and placed a kiss on his cheek. “Really. Thank you.”

  He smiled slightly. “Any time.”

  *

  I sat at a DRACIM conference table in a ridiculously uncomfortable suit, and examined Hian-puo’s team. My heart sank. Four dragons, all armed to the teeth in leather and steel.

  They certainly didn’t look prepared for negotiations. I had really hoped this session would move quickly, to bolster both my and Richard’s faith in my abilities. But that plan didn’t look too promising.

  Ah well. I’d learned that sometimes it took a few rounds of casual conversation before the real problems could be addressed. I scribbled a note—Have Sara order lunch—and passed it down to Carol, who was nearest the door. This thing wasn’t wrapping up over breakfast, and nothing hurt negotiations worse than a pack of hungry dragons.

  A large green dragon, who I assumed was Rime based on his size and air of command, scanned the table with a stone-face. The rest of his team stood silently at his side as he finished sizing us up. When the dragon’s eyes met mine, his red irises blazed with glee, and I felt Trian tense beside me. I put a steadying hand on his forearm. For me or him, I wasn’t sure.

  One of the things I’d learned from Lord Relobu’s library was a dragon’s eye color varied based on genetics. I’d never seen anything other than the warm yellow carried by Lord Relobu’s descendants. Red was new. And scary.

  From Carol, I heard a gasp when she got a look at the dragon, and wondered whether she was sorry about attending today’s meeting. I’d told her after her help in Relobu’s library last week that her presence wasn’t likely to be needed for the actual meeting, as most of the paperwork, if any, would be taken care of at a later date. But she’d slept over at Richard’s the night before, and had taken the day off for an after-negotiation lover’s lunch.

  As he and his team made their way to the table—I’d picked the large conference room furnished with one taller than my head with enormous barstools equipped with ladders for the humans and ground-level perches for the dragons—I took the opportunity to study Rime’s colleagues.

  They were all smaller than he, with long, sinuous bodies that seemed to crawl rather than walk to their perches. I fought a shudder. Snakes are not my favorite thing in the world, and these Chinese dragons held more than a vague resemblance. No wonder Trian had spent so much time on the venomous dragon varieties during training.

  The dragons’ wings were also a surprise. They were large and obviously functional, considering they’d flown in from Beijing yesterday evening. In Lord Relobu’s family wings this size were fairly common, due to an inordinate amount of butterfly lizard DNA. But Hian-puo’s particular genetic strain leaned closer to the poisonous snake variety. And they usually sported smaller wings, if they had any at all.

  I nodded to Hian-puo’s group, waiting until they’d had a chance to settle onto the perches. I motioned for Rime and his team to help themselves to the plates of mostly raw bacon heaped upon platters at regular intervals along the table. It was my version of donuts and coffee. Happy, comfortable people were more likely to listen in negotiations. I hoped the same held true for these dragons.

  “Mr., ah Rime—” the file hadn’t included a last name for the dragon “—I’m so glad you had no problems finding our offices. I trust your flight to Lord Relobu’s territory was uneventful?”

  There were few airlines that managed to remain open after the war and dragon discovery, and fewer still that attempted long-haul flights overseas, but the idea wasn’t unheard of. The news that one of these planes had a run-in with a dragon mid-flight was not so rare. Luckily for the humans stupid enough to fly on one of these planes, dragons were pretty adept at changing directions quickly. Still, the encounter normally ended with a scared pilot and a disgruntled dragon.

  “Yes.” Rime’s fore-claws clacked noisily on the table as he reached for the plate of meat. His claws were shaky and uncoordinated, and I wondered whether the dragon was fighting an illness.

  In fact, Rime reminded me of my father in the early days of his dr
inking problem, during those brief periods when my dad was trying to quit.

  I nodded toward the long troughs of fresh water against the wall. “For you and your team. Shall we get started?”

  Other than my core group of Richard, Carol and Trian, I had a single dragon guard, Dreru, present. Trian had insisted I have a dragon bodyguard, and I had insisted on Dreru. The smallest of Trian’s dragons, with his slight stature and easygoing nature, Dreru could almost pass as a civilian. I’d asked for Plob, but Trian had turned me down flat. Apparently Plob and his meaty fists scared only me.

  I guess Dreru’s presence was all for the best. My plans of presenting a noncombative front weren’t needed after all. No matter how scary my guards, Hian-puo’s were scarier. I’d met several of Trian’s dragons, and I’d yet to encounter one with as many horns and claws as Rime’s second in command. I gave him a nod and a slight smile of greeting, but he barely looked at me. He was too busy staring at Trian.

  Rime slid onto his perch across from me, and didn’t even bother introducing his companions. He leaned over the table, and I had to make a conscious effort to keep my body still. I really hate snakes. I pulled on the sleeve of my suit, trying to make sure all visible skin was covered. I did not want to scream like a little girl if Rime accidentally—or on purpose—rubbed against me.

  “What is this?” He hissed, deliberately showing me his forked tongue. “Relobu not only sends a human to do his bidding, but a female? Is he so weak he cannot find a better champion?”

  I almost gagged at the smell of his breath. What had he been eating? The odor was strange, an odd sickly sweet I’d never before encountered in a dragon. We didn’t know why, but dragons were strictly carnivores, and sugar didn’t usually tempt them in the least. At least none that I’d met.

  “Mr. Rime, this meeting is designed as a mediation session. There’s no reason for Lord Relobu or Lord Hian-puo to require a champion. Today, we’re here to get to know one another better, and to become confident that we all understand the needs of both parties. Richard, how about you go first? Can you tell me what Lord Relobu hopes to gain from these talks?”

  “Yes, of course. Lord Relobu wishes to ensure the safe return of his business envoy. In addition, he would like, with Lord Hian-puo’s help, to establish some guidelines for the future on what is expected to secure the appropriate permissions should Lord Relobu send his subjects into Lord Hian-puo’s territory.”

  “Thank you, Richard. Mr. Rime, can you share with us Lord Hian-puo’s goals for these talks?”

  Rime stretched his neck until his bloodshot eyes were inches from mine. “My lord wishes to inform Lord Relobu that he will not countenance intrusions upon his sovereignty, in any form.”

  “We were not intruding upon his sovereignty—”

  “Richard, right now we’re just trying to flesh out the goals of these negotiations. Later, when we’ve established the boundaries of our talks, we’ll discuss the difficulties experienced by both parties.”

  Richard gave me a disgruntled look—I imagine he expected me to be on his side of all arguments—but he nodded. Rime’s eyes flicked between Richard and me before turning to Trian.

  “If we are only talking, then why is Relobu’s enforcer here?”

  “Trian is here at Lord Relobu’s request. Just as Hian-puo has sent your companions.” I kept my voice calm, but firm. There was a fine line to walk between the appearance of amiability and a doormat. It was my job to walk it. And it was time to get to the meat of today’s gathering.

  “Mr. Rime, one of the main topics that need to be discussed today is the future of Lord Relobu’s team currently in Lord Hian-puo’s custody. Could you tell us how Lord Hian-puo would like to proceed in order to see them released?”

  “No.” Rime shifted once again on his perch, and I felt Trian twitch beside me.

  I shot a glance to Carol. She was wearing the exact same “oh-no” expression as I’m sure I was. This was the fun part of negotiations.

  “Excuse me?”

  Rime leaned forward. “The team sent to Shui-Tech will not be released.”

  “I’m afraid that isn’t an option, sir. I believe Lord Relobu is willing to offer concessions for their release. Richard?”

  “Lord Relobu offers Lord Hian-puo personal use of ten thousand acres of prime cattle territory, located south of the Mexico City area, for a period of three years.”

  Since the war and ensuing climate changes, land dedicated for raising cattle was a precious resource. Although humans still outnumbered dragons about three hundred thousand to one, dragons required a large supply of food, and most couldn’t survive in the colder regions of the world. It wasn’t often that dragon lords left their own territory, but it was common practice for the clan heads to send delegates with messages to their foreign counterparts. So for Hian-puo’s diplomats, ten thousand acres of farmland in the southern portion of Relobu’s territory was a king’s ransom.

  And Rime had to know that.

  The dragon paused for a moment. “Lord Hian-puo will consider your offer. You will have word of his decision in two months.”

  Leave Lord Relobu’s team in the hands of the Chinese dragon for two additional months? I didn’t have to look at Richard and Trian to know the time frame would be rejected.

  Richard beat me to the punch. “Unacceptable. Lord Relobu requires the conditions of the Shui-Tech team’s release be settled today.”

  “No.” Rime snarled at Richard, his red eyes silently daring the man to disagree.

  “Mr. Rime. I have staff here,” I motioned to Carol, “who would be able to draw up a contract today.”

  “I said no!” Rime jumped from his perch as he lunged toward me, stopping only when his neck encountered the blade of Trian’s sword.

  “Sit. Down.” Trian said through clenched teeth.

  Rime jerked once, involuntarily. His gaze flicked down to Trian’s sword hand.

  “We keep Lord Relobu’s team, until such time as the negotiations can be moved to Lord Hian-puo’s territory.”

  “No.” It was Richard’s turn to attempt a lunge across the table. I put a firm hand on his chest.

  “Sit down. All of you.” My voice shook, but I kept my eyes on the dragons across from me. All of them were crowded around their leader, claws and teeth fully visible. They hadn’t appreciated Trian’s actions in the slightest, and every eye in the room, save mine and Carol’s, threatened murder.

  For a moment after my order, no one moved. But then Richard eased slowly back into his seat, and Trian adjusted the position of his blade until there was an inch of space between it and the leathery hide of Rime’s throat. I heard the slide of Dreru’s heavy feet on the stone floor as Trian’s guard returned to his previous relaxed position against the wall.

  Hian-puo’s dragons followed suit, grudgingly, by settling back onto their perches.

  Richard, who seemed to have regained a small hold on his temper, asked the next question.

  “How do we know our team is unharmed?”

  “Your team is in good health.” Rime’s tone made it clear he currently wished otherwise. Trian paused in the middle of sheathing his blade.

  I needed to regain control of the meeting. Now.

  I cleared my throat. “We appreciate you sharing that information. However, I’m afraid that isn’t going to work for Lord Relobu. Please don’t take offense at this, but we have no way to know whether you are telling us the truth.”

  I braced myself for another explosion, but Rime only nodded before he unlatched the satchel at his waist and tossed it on the table with a single claw. “The photographs inside are from yesterday morning, as you can tell by the date of the newspaper held by Lord Relobu’s team. They are unharmed and being detained at a secure location.”

  Richard and Trian hurriedly opened the large bag, and studied the grainy print. Six figures, three human and three dragon, stood in a loose group for the photo. One of the humans sported a sling on his arm, but the team appeared
otherwise in good health.

  I looked to Trian. He gave me a small nod. This was the entire team, and they were still alive.

  I mulled my options, then sighed. “Rime, thank you for this reassurance. As you can certainly appreciate, Lord Relobu is eager to resolve this issue. Today.”

  “They encroached upon my liege’s claim to sovereignty.”

  This was the same reason the dragon had stated earlier, and it didn’t give me much information to go on. “How? How did these men break the law?”

  Rime started to answer, but he stopped as a small shudder ran through his body. I could see beads of moisture clinging to his hide. He looked like Emory after a brisk walk down the hallway. Or a drunk gone too long without liquor.

  It occurred to me again that Hian-puo’s dragon might not be well.

  “Are you okay?”

  Rime’s guards turned their heads to gaze curiously at their leader. Rime’s claw rattled along the table surface before he quickly jerked it back. Without answering my question, he rose and gestured to his guards. “We’re finished here.”

  The guards traded confused glances, but dismounted from their perches.

  They were leaving.

  My question about Rime’s health had been a mistake. A huge one. Pretending like I’d never voiced my concern, I tried to get the dragon’s attention back to the original discussion. Kindness wasn’t working. In fact, I’d only managed to make him angry. So I tried something different.

  “No, sir, we are not finished. You are holding a foreign dragon lord’s men without cause, without trial, and without informing their leader of their location. You must understand I will have no choice but to inform Lord Relobu that you mean this to be an act of war. I cannot believe you want him to treat it as such.”

  I looked him straight in the eye, and willed him not to call my bluff.

  Rime looked me over, his expression clearly communicating his disgust. “We will discuss this at another time.”

  “Is there a reason we cannot discuss this now?”