The Heart's Appeal

by Jennifer Delamere

  There was a flurry of movement a short distance away. The earl, who was exiting another door of the courtroom into the crowded hallway, seemed to have stumbled. Julia heard Edith emit a soft cry as he fell to his knees. Several people rushed forward to help him up. Over the course of the afternoon, Julia had thought more than once that the earl’s energy appeared to be flagging. Now he looked positively haggard. Michael and two other men led him to a bench, where he could sit and catch his breath.

  “Someone needs to help him,” Julia said.

  “There are a dozen doctors here,” Lisette replied and added with a sniff, “A pity they are all women.”

  Julia glanced at Edith, expecting a similar reply, but to her surprise, she saw that Edith’s expression was anything but dismissive. Everything in her manner signaled a desire to rush to him. Surely this must be as much from filial devotion as from her instincts as a physician?

  “Why don’t you go to him?” Julia encouraged.

  Her words had the opposite of her intended effect. Edith’s expression shuttered. “No. He has fought my becoming a doctor at every step. I’m not giving him the benefit of my expertise. Or my pity.”

  She turned on her heel, but as she walked away, Julia saw her heave a tremendous sigh, and her shoulders shook a little.

  I will go to him, Julia thought. But before she could move, her attention was arrested by the expression on the earl’s face. He was waving away the people hovering around him, exclaiming that he was fine, but his gaze was fixed on his daughter’s retreating form. And for a moment—just a moment—Julia saw in his eyes the very same sorrow and longing that she’d just seen in Edith.

  There must be something there, she thought. There has to be. She just had to figure out a way to make them both see it.

  She was so caught up in these thoughts that she barely realized her feet were closing the gap between her and the earl until he pointed an unsteady finger at her and said, “Stay away from me! You’ve caused enough trouble already. You’re lucky I didn’t bring action against you for trespassing on my property!”

  Michael stood next to the earl, and his eyes widened in surprise at these words.

  “I was given leave to enter your home, as I recall,” Julia returned evenly, wanting to reassure everyone within earshot that she was no lawbreaker. “How are you feeling? Are you dizzy? In pain? Did you try the liniment that I left you instructions for?”

  She reached out to lay a hand on his forehead, but he batted it away. “I will not be treated this way!” he bellowed. “I will be respected!”

  Michael drew her away. “I think you’d better go, miss. I’m sure you mean well, but you are only upsetting him.”

  He spoke as if she were a total stranger. Startled, she looked up at him, silently chastising him for his aloofness.

  But then, seeing that everyone else’s attention was on the earl, who was complaining and calling out for his physician, Michael’s expression softened. He whispered, “Did you really go to his lordship’s home?”

  She saw a hint of perplexed amusement. It was a look she’d drawn out of him many times during their lessons. She felt a burst of joy to see it again. “Why yes, I—”

  “Here is Dr. Adams, sir!” Mr. Tamblin cried out in relief, as a gentleman carrying a medical bag rushed up to the earl.

  “Sir, I warned you about overexerting yourself,” Dr. Adams admonished. He began checking the earl’s vital signs, exactly as Julia had wanted to do.

  The earl allowed him to do it, although he said sourly, “Don’t scold me, Adams. Just get me home.” He addressed the doctor as if he were a servant instead of a private physician.

  “Stephenson! Come help us,” Mr. Tamblin ordered.

  Michael’s gaze lingered on Julia for a long moment. Enough to nearly melt her heart. He still cared for her; she could feel it in the heat of his gaze before he finally turned away.

  Julia took a moment to gather herself. There was nothing more she could do here. She turned and hurried down the long corridor, exiting the massive doors to the street, looking for Edith.

  “Edith, wait!” Julia called as she caught sight of her friend half a block away.

  Edith didn’t stop. Even when Julia caught up with her, she kept walking purposefully, not acknowledging her presence. But Julia matched her stride for stride.

  “What just happened in there?”

  “Don’t lecture me about not helping him. There were plenty of licensed physicians available to give him whatever he needed.”

  “That’s not why I came after you,” Julia insisted.

  They reached a corner, but Edith seemed so desperate to get away that she didn’t even slow down. Julia yelped and grabbed Edith’s arm, yanking her backward to prevent her from walking right into the path of an oncoming carriage.

  The carriage raced by with a thunderous clatter, throwing mud and a loose rock into the air, nearly hitting them. Julia felt Edith shaking as the enormity of what she’d almost done struck her. She stood still, gasping for breath, pulling her arm free but still not looking at Julia.

  Julia took advantage of this moment, before her friend decided to move again. “I saw your face back there. I saw what it took for you to walk away.”

  “You don’t understand anything about it.”

  “I also saw something you didn’t. It was the look he gave you as you were leaving.”

  Edith gave a bitter laugh, but her hand trembled as she adjusted her short coat, which had gotten pulled askew when Julia stopped her flight. “I wouldn’t have to see that. I can imagine it quite well.”

  “You’re wrong. It was full of sadness—tenderness, even. Longing—”

  “If he longs for something, it was lost years ago. I have chosen this path, and I’m not turning back. If this verdict spells the end for the school, then I will finish my studies in Vienna. I will show him I am not defeated. In fact, I should have left before now.”

  Julia seized on her words. “So why haven’t you gone to the continent? I know it’s not through fear or lack of desire. You speak fluent German, and you’ve mentioned how much you’d like to one day visit the land of your mother’s ancestors. And yet you stay here. You even turned down an opportunity to spend three months at the excellent lying-in hospital in Ireland.”

  “Leave me be.” Seeing a break in the traffic, Edith took the opportunity to cross.

  “I know the reason can’t be lack of money,” Julia continued, doggedly following her. “I would guess that for some reason, you were determined not to stray too far from the home counties. Now I wonder, why is that?”

  “You’re right. I ought to have left sooner. My father wants to push me across the channel—or even the Atlantic. This is not a man who misses me. Clearly he would like me to go as far from him as possible. Well then, I will oblige him.”

  “But if you could make a truce with your father, wouldn’t you want to?”

  By now they had reached the other side of the street. Edith halted and turned on Julia. “Are you working for him? Did he hire you to try to win me over?”

  “You know that’s preposterous!”

  “Is it? It doesn’t matter. I do know you are friends with that barrister—the one who has been so instrumental in hurting the school.”

  “I was trying to help the school.”

  “I think you were only trying to help yourself. I have seen the way he looks at you. If you can’t end up pursuing medicine, you might have an excellent career as a barrister’s wife. Or paramour. Perhaps that’s been your goal all along. It’s certainly easier than working for a living.”

  “Edith, you know me!” Julia admonished, shocked at her cruel words. “How can you say such things?”

  “Because I want you to stop pestering me. Now, will you let me be?” Edith’s voice and posture were hard and unyielding, everything about her an impenetrable wall. Julia had pushed her too hard, and like a wounded animal, her friend had turned on her. Once more, her overly direct manner had done
more harm than good.

  “I’m sorry you feel that way,” she said gently. “I won’t bother you again.”

  There might have been a flash of regret in Edith’s face, but it was quickly concealed by a little smile of prideful satisfaction at having gained her point. Without another word, she turned and walked away.

  Julia made her way home slowly. Had she really misunderstood what she’d seen in the courthouse today? Had she been wrong in thinking that father and daughter even wanted a reconciliation? She couldn’t shake the feeling that she’d been right. Yet there seemed no way to bridge the gap between them.

  Edith’s words about Michael troubled her, too. Had their attraction to each other been too obvious? Was it possible that anyone else had seen it? Everything in her life was in a jumble. The school, her friendships, and her heart—all seemed in jeopardy.

  It was a long, prayerful walk home. It was all she could do, but today, it was impossible to take solace in it.

  CHAPTER

  27

  DAY TWO OF THE TRIAL. After the way Tamblin had laid out the case for the prosecution, there seemed little doubt the jury could do anything except find the defendants guilty.

  Michael was heartily glad it would soon be over. He’d done everything required of him, and it had taken a huge toll on his conscience. So much in his own life depended on this case succeeding, but he could never forget that Julia’s dreams depended on the school’s survival. After the day he’d ended up at Anderson’s company, Michael was beginning to believe that prayers could bring results. When it came to the trial, though, he couldn’t bring himself to pray for either outcome. He decided it was better to leave his petitions unsubmitted.

  Today, he was impressed by how carefully the counsel for the defense was parsing out Dr. Tierney’s liability from that of the medical school. They may well have thought it was their best way of preserving the school. They had not been able to present any solid evidence to back up Dr. Tierney’s comments about the state of the earl’s son when he died. Nor had they been able to fully refute the claims of damages done to the earl’s reputation. Michael privately thought Tamblin had blown it out of proportion, but that had been their strategy all along.

  The defense was now addressing the jury, summing up the responses from his careful questioning of the witnesses. “So you see, gentleman, the London School of Medicine for Women holds no official position at all on the Contagious Diseases Acts. Indeed, as we have just demonstrated, there is a difference of opinion even among the school’s board of directors.”

  “No surprise there,” a man sitting behind Michael said to his neighbor. “When has a group of women ever agreed on anything?”

  “Except when they agree on how to bankrupt a husband by shopping for too many luxuries,” the other man replied with a laugh.

  The two men had made many such deprecating comments over the course of the afternoon. Michael was pretty sure they’d only come for the sport of jesting about the women. They’d kept their comments low enough not to gain the notice of the usher or the judge, but they were close enough that Michael could hear them.

  Still addressing the jury, the counsel for the defense went on to sum up the statements of the witnesses by repeating—in detail—all their assurances of their respect for Lord Westbridge and their distress that he or anyone else should think they had attempted to throw a disparaging light on him.

  Michael studied the men of the jury, trying to discern their thoughts. Most wore sober but neutral expressions. A few looked stone-faced at the barrister, leaving no doubt in Michael’s mind which way they would vote. But several were nodding thoughtfully and throwing the occasional sympathetic glance toward the women seated in the dock.

  Looking at the medical students seated in the audience, Michael thought back to Laura’s comments at the theatre. What would she think now? To Michael’s eye, they looked no different than any other group of women. Some were dressed stylishly, and others more simply. Some were pretty, and some less so. But none would have arrested attention for appearing out of the ordinary.

  Except for Julia, of course. She was the most beautiful woman in the room. Michael was careful not to glance at her too often, although he could always tell when her gaze was on him. It had been hard to keep his composure. The incident after yesterday’s session had nearly done him in, especially when he heard she’d gone to his lordship’s home. What had she been thinking? Trying to influence him, no doubt. It must have done no good, although he couldn’t help but admire her for the attempt.

  The judge addressed the jury. “Gentlemen, you have heard the evidence brought forward in this case. It now devolves on you to weigh that evidence and pronounce upon the guilt or innocence of the accused.”

  After giving them more words of instruction, the judge dismissed the jury for deliberations. Michael had kept his part of the bargain. What would happen next was out of his hands. His only regret was that when this was over, he would no longer have the exquisite torture of seeing Julia, if only from a distance.

  The jury returned in less than two hours.

  “Have you reached a verdict?” the judged asked.

  “We have, your honor,” the foreman replied.

  Julia waited, barely able to breathe, as apprehension tugged at hope. The school must win this lawsuit. She had prayed more during these past two days than she could ever remember. She was convinced the defense had made a good case. Surely God would take care of the rest. He would not let them down.

  The foreman said gravely, “We find in favor of the plaintiff.”

  No. Julia could not believe it.

  Immediately the room was abuzz as the spectators voiced either protest or approval. Those closest to Julia gasped in stunned disbelief, just as she had.

  “Silence in court!” commanded the usher. He had to repeat the warning before the noise subsided.

  “Continue,” the judge directed the foreman.

  “We find for the plaintiff. We assess damages in the amount of one pound.”

  The room erupted again—some people shouting with laughter, others with indignation. Julia was confused. One pound was an insignificant sum in this context. Did this mean the school was safe after all?

  “The jury finds for the plaintiff, with damages in the amount of one pound,” the judge repeated. “As the jury has found for the plaintiff, the Court assesses all court fees to be paid by the defendants.”

  “Oh no,” Lisette moaned. “After all the months this case has dragged on, the court costs are bound to be ruinous.”

  Edith pointed toward the jury. “Why do some of them look surprised? They had to have known this would be the result of their verdict.”

  Julia sent a worried look toward the defendants’ table. They were among the few people in the courtroom who were silent. They had fought for a decade or more to establish the school and keep it running. This was a terrible blow, and yet they were facing the worst with grim fortitude. The exception was Dr. Tierney, whose face was red from barely suppressed anger.

  The earl had been as easy to read as an open book: his smile of triumph when the verdict was read; his consternation when the foreman announced the award of one pound; the way he leaned back in satisfaction when the judge assessed the fees to the defendants.

  The most inscrutable person in the courtroom was Michael. Was he happy with this outcome? Did he have any regret over his role in defeating the school, knowing what it would do to Julia? It was impossible to guess. She stared at him, silently willing him to meet her gaze, which at last he did. As their gazes held, some emotion began to flicker in his eyes. Before she could decipher it, the moment was lost. He was forced to turn and acknowledge Mr. Tamblin, who had reached out to shake his hand.

  There was no way for Julia to catch even a glimpse of Michael in the swirling crowds after the courtroom was dismissed. Edith, too, was quickly gone, stalking off alone. She hadn’t spoken one word directly to Julia today; her anger over yesterday’s events had no
t abated. Today, however, Julia did not pursue her. She needed time, as they all did, to consider what these events meant for their futures.

  After the crowd from the trial had filtered out, Julia sat for a long time on one of the red-cushioned benches in the great hall. It was a magnificent place, with a soaring arched roof, stained-glass windows bearing coats of arms, and an intricate mosaic marble floor. It looked like a cathedral. She admired its beauty, but the Royal Courts of Justice was a shrine to the works of men, not God. Had justice been done here today? She could not believe it had.

  The great hall still hummed with activity. Julia watched barristers in robes and wigs walking by on their way to other courtrooms, often accompanied by clerks or clients. There was no sign of Michael, though. Perhaps she’d been wrong, or even hypocritical, to look for an indication that he felt remorse for her sake. After all, if she loved him, shouldn’t she feel some bit of happiness for a success that gave a critical boost to his career? Her heart only grew heavier as she pondered these questions.

  Julia could not remember a time when she had doubted her calling. She’d been sure about where she was going and how she would get there. But over these past few months, her plans had unraveled. She’d lost her patron. Her scheme to attain Latin lessons, which she’d considered a godsend, had brought only trouble and heartache. She’d been rejected by the missionary society. What was she going to do? She could not embrace the idea of going to India, but it probably didn’t matter. Today’s verdict meant she might never become a doctor anyway.

  Tears crowded her eyes, stinging as she blinked them back and heaved a long, despondent sigh. If she closed her eyes, she saw Michael. If she opened them, she saw his world, which had been so terribly at odds with her own. At last, taking a last swipe at a stray tear, Julia stood up. It would do her no good to linger here. She had never been one for self-pity, and she wouldn’t allow herself to start now.

  Outside on the busy street, she passed a vendor selling farthing pinwheels to a woman and her son. The boy looked a lot like Sam. It reminded Julia that she’d promised to visit Sybil today in order to check on the baby. She sighed again. It was a long walk to Bethnal Green, and she was tired after a sleepless night. She wanted only to find some tea and a quiet place to think. As she stood there, arguing with herself, she remembered something Mr. Müller used to say: if an answer from God is a long time coming, the best way to pass the time is to keep busy helping someone else. Her future was uncertain, but there was still plenty for her to do in the here and now.