Toni L.P. Kelner - Laura Fleming 02 - Dead Ringer

by Toni L. P. Kelner

  After that, we dedicated our attention to our plates. Vasti eventually wandered back over with her own plate, and then complained that all the good stuff was gone by the time she got there. I would have been more sympathetic if I hadn’t seen her talking to half a dozen different people before going to serve herself.

  “That was wonderful,” I said, sopping up the last bit of gravy with the last piece of biscuit and popping it into my mouth. “Now I’m ready for dessert. Vasti, which end of the table did Aunt Daphine put her apple cobbler on?”

  “Mama didn’t bring any this year.”

  “She didn’t?”

  “She said that she hadn’t had time to bake, so she bought an apple pie at the grocery store.”

  “Really?” I was going to have to track down Aunt Daphine after this. I couldn’t imagine her not having time to make apple cobbler for the reunion. Where was she anyway? I hadn’t seen her yet.

  Despite my disappointment over Aunt Daphine’s cobbler, I managed to console myself with helpings of pecan pie and chocolate cake. Richard, despite his earlier protests, also managed to squeeze in a couple of desserts.

  After everybody had eaten enough to bust a gusset, Yancy Burnette stood up to make the announcements of family news he had been gathering sill year. The Burnettes had seen three marriages, one divorce, four births, and two deaths over the previous year. There was a moment of silence for the two we had lost: Paw and a third cousin.

  Then they gave out prizes for the youngest and oldest attendees and for the attendee who had come the furthest. Aunt Maggie, after much protestation, accepted the designation of oldest and her prize of a shawl, but refused to put it on over her jeans. Richard and I got the prize for coming the furthest, which was no big surprise. Our only competition would have been if my cousin Augustus had gotten leave from the Army to come home from Germany. Our prize was a set of glass ash trays.

  “But we don’t smoke,” Richard said in a low voice.

  “I know,” I whispered back. “We’ll give them to Aunt Maggie to sell.”

  After that, a couple of musically–inclined Burnettes took turns playing the guitar and singing gospel songs. Richard and I sat and listened for a little while, but then decided to go visit some more. I still wanted to see what was going on with Aunt Daphine.

  We finally found her at a corner table with Aunt Nora.

  “Well!” I said in mock exasperation. “It’s about time you showed up.”

  I expected her to respond in kind, but all she said was, “Hey there. How are you two doing?”

  “Just fine.” We hugged, and Richard and I sat down at the table with them.

  Aunt Daphine asked the usual questions about work and life in Boston, but even though she listened politely, I could tell that her heart wasn’t in it. She didn’t look good, either. Not exactly sick, but there were dark shadows under her eyes that hadn’t been there the last time I had seen her and her cheekbones, usually her most striking feature, jutted out as if she had lost weight. Even her hair, usually a shiny brown, looked listless and indifferently styled. That was a bad sign for the owner of a beauty parlor.

  Aunt Daphine quickly ran out of questions, and excused herself to go to the restroom.

  “Aunt Nora,” I said once she was out of earshot, “what’s the matter with Aunt Daphine?”

  “I wish I knew, Laurie Anne, but she won’t tell me a thing.”

  Now I was really worried. If Aunt Nora didn’t know what was going on, something had to be bad wrong. “Hasn’t she spoken to Vasti?” I asked. Even if she had told Vasti something in confidence, Vasti wouldn’t have been able to resist dropping hints.

  But Aunt Nora shook her head. “She won’t talk about it to anybody. Ruby Lee, Nellie, Edna—all of us sisters have been taking turns with her, but we might as well be talking to a stone wall. I was hoping that maybe you could try to get something out of her if you’re going to be in town long enough.”

  “We’re staying a couple of weeks,” I said. “I don’t know if it will do any good, but I’ll try.”

  “Good,” Aunt Nora said. “So, did you two meet Thaddeous’s new girlfriend?”

  “She sure is something,” I said, then hesitated. “They aren’t really planning to get married, are they?”

  “Lord, I hope not,” Aunt Nora said, and then looked embarrassed. “I shouldn’t say that. I barely know the girl. It’s just that she’s not the kind of girl I expected Thaddeous to bring home.”

  She started to rise from the table. “I better head on into the kitchen and help with the washing up.”

  “Aunt Nora,” I said, “you have been helping with the washing up at every reunion for as long as I can remember. Don’t you think it’s somebody else’s turn?”

  “Shoot, it doesn’t take but a few minutes.” She started toward the kitchen, but turned back with a grin. “Besides, you hear the best stories over the dishes.”

  “Do all Burnette women gossip?” Richard asked.

  “No more than the men,” I retorted. “Besides, it’s not gossip if you’re really interested in the people you’re talking about.”

  “I think Webster would have a few questions about that definition,” Richard said.

  I ignored the comment. “Come on. I’m sure there must be a neck around here that we haven’t hugged yet.”

  I guess I wasn’t really looking where I was going, because I nearly ran into a man coming our way. It was my cousin Linwood. He stopped short and gave me a fierce look.

  “I might have known that you’d be here,” he said.

  “Hello Linwood,” I said as evenly as I could. Even though Linwood was more heavyset than his late father had been, that straw–colored hair and the expression on his face made him look an awful lot like Loman.

  “Planning to get somebody else shot?” he asked, but before I could answer, he added, “I suppose you made sure that they didn’t mention my daddy when they were telling who died this past year.”

  “Shut up, Linwood,” Linwood’s wife Sue said as she came up behind him. He glared at me with those nearly colorless grey eyes for a long couple of seconds, then stomped away.

  “If looks could kill,” I murmured, grateful for the arm Richard put around me.

  “Don’t mind him,” Sue said. “I tried to talk him out of coming today, but he said that he has a right to come and he was going to. I’ll make sure that he doesn’t say anything else to you.”

  “Thanks, Sue,” I said. “I know it’s awkward for Linwood, and for you, too.” Linwood’s father Loman had been involved in Paw’s death, and he ended up dead, too. Linwood had it in his head that it was my fault, and there didn’t seem to be anything anybody could say to change his mind.

  Sue shrugged, and pushed a stray piece of sandy blond hair back from her face. “Shoot, there ain’t nothing nobody can say that can bother me. Linwood’s just touchy these days, especially since he lost his job.”

  “I didn’t know the mill was laying people off.”

  “It wasn’t no layoff—Burt Walters fired him,” Sue said matter–of–factly. “It was Linwood’s own fault, too. People around town are willing to forget about Loman, but Linwood’s not. He picked one fight too many, and Walters told him to take a hike.”

  “That must be tough on you two, what with the new baby and all.” Crystal had just been born in September, and they already had Jason and Tiffany.

  “We’re doing all right,” Sue said. “I wanted to thank you for that outfit you sent the baby. It’s right pretty.”

  “Where is Crystal, anyway?” I asked. “We haven’t seen her yet.”

  “Edna’s showing her off,” she said, referring to Linwood’s mother.

  “Sue!” Vasti squealed as she appeared from somewhere. “You’re not wearing a button.” Without waiting for permission, Vasti pinned a badge onto Sue’s dress. “That’s a real pretty dress you’re wearing. You can hardly tell that it’s a maternity dress.”

  I winced. Sue never had been a thin w
oman, but with Crystal only a couple of months old, I would have thought that Vasti could have resisted teasing her just this once.

  “Hey there, Vasti,” Sue said unenthusiastically.

  “The Retort Courteous,” Richard said under his breath.

  “How do you like my new outfit?” Vasti asked, preening. “I think it matches my eyes real well.”

  “The Quip Modest,” Richard said. Neither of my cousins seemed to hear him, but I nudged him anyway.

  “Since when are your eyes striped?” Sue said.

  “The Reply Churlish,” from Richard.

  “I mean the dress sets off my eyes nicely,” Vasti said.

  Richard said, “The Reproof Valiant.”

  Vasti went on. “After all, some of us do try to color coordinate our wardrobes.”

  “The Countercheck Quarrelsome,” Richard said. I nudged him again.

  “Maybe you can come coordinate my clothes sometime,” Sue said.

  “The Lie with Circumstance.”

  “Now you don’t need me for that, Sue,” Vasti said. “You always look real nice.”

  “The Lie Direct,” Richard said with glee.

  “What was that, Richard?” Vasti asked.

  “Nothing,” I answered for him. “Come on, Richard. Let’s go say hello to Aunt Ruby Lee.”

  Undaunted, Richard said, “As you like it.”

  Aunt Ruby Lee was still legally married to Conrad Randolph, but since he was in jail and the divorce was in the works, her ex-husband Roger Bailey saw no reason to waste any time in trying for a second chance with her. He had his arm around her shoulder, just like old times, which led me to believe that he just might succeed. I couldn’t blame him. With her blond hair, blue eyes, and generous figure, Aunt Ruby Lee was the prettiest of my aunts.

  “Laurie Anne! Richard!” Aunt Ruby Lee said. “I am so glad you two could come.” She hugged us both, and then Roger hugged me and shook Richard’s hand.

  “How are you doing these days, Roger?” I asked.

  “Mighty fine,” he said with a big smile. “Spending time with Ruby Lee has reminded me of what I’ve been missing. Let me tell you, Richard. A good woman is the most important thing you can have in your life, and that’s a fact.”

  “You’ll get no arguments from me,” Richard said.

  “You two boys just cut that out,” Aunt Ruby Lee said. “You’re going to have both me and Laurie Anne blushing in a minute.”

  “And what’s wrong with that,” Roger said. “Laurie Anne, I’ve been trying to talk your aunt into letting me make an announcement this afternoon, but she’s being shy.”

  “Oh?” I said innocently. So they were talking about getting married again.

  Aunt Ruby Lee shook her head firmly. “It’s too soon to make that kind of announcement, Roger. How would it look, when things with Conrad aren’t official yet?”

  “I don’t give a hoot about how it looks! I’m in love with the prettiest woman on this earth, and I want everybody on earth to know it.”

  “If you don’t lower your voice, everybody in Byerly is going to know about it,” Aunt Ruby Lee scolded him, but I could tell that she didn’t really mind. She was in love again, too. After her last marriage ended the way it had, I was glad to see her so happy.

  We chatted a little longer before drifting off to visit with more cousins. The festivities were starting to wind down when Thaddeous came over.

  “Laurie Anne? Can I talk to you for a minute?” Thaddeous said.

  “Sure. What’s up?”

  “I need a favor.”

  “Name it.” I meant it, too. After my last trip to Byerly, I owed Thaddeous more than any favor was going to repay.

  “Actually it’s for Joleen. She just told me about it, and she’s so worried that she started crying on my shoulder. She’s in a lot of trouble at work, and I was hoping you could help her out. Somebody must have done something to her computer, and it’s not working like it’s supposed to. She’s afraid that Mr. Walters will fire her if he finds out.” He lowered his voice. “Walters has been trying to make time with her, and he was right put out when she told him that she isn’t that kind of girl. He’s been looking for an excuse to get rid of her ever since.”

  “I don’t know what kind of system she’s got,” I warned, “but I’ll be glad to give it a try.”

  He beamed. “I really would appreciate it. Do you think we could go over there today? That way we can get it fixed up before Mr. Walters comes into the office tomorrow morning. I’m afraid Joleen wouldn’t get a bit of sleep tonight if she was worrying about it.”

  “Sure thing. The reunion is about over anyway. Let me check with Richard, and find Aunt Maggie to tell her.” I conferred with Richard while Thaddeous conferred with Joleen. After a round of goodbyes and a quick stop at Aunt Maggie’s to pick up what I needed for the rescue operation, we piled into the car Richard and I had rented to drive out to the mill.

  Chapter 2

  So many of the people in Byerly depend on Walters Mill for their livelihood that it always seems to me that the mill building should look more impressive than it does. But then, founder Big Bill Walters had never been one to spend two pennies when one would do the job, and I guess he figured a nearly windowless, boxy building made of mud–brown bricks was good enough. And his son Burt, the current man in charge, hadn’t done anything to improve the mill’s appearance.

  We pulled up to the security booth and Ralph Stewart, the guard on duty, came out as Richard rolled down the window.

  “Hey there! What are y’all doing out here? Didn’t I hear that you folks were having your family reunion today?”

  “We have reunited to our heart’s content,” Richard said.

  Thaddeous spoke up from the back seat. “We wanted to go up to the mill for a few minutes, if that’s all right with you.” Then he nonchalantly added, “I’ve got my key.” Thaddeous was the youngest supervisor at the mill, and was still awfully proud of his position.

  Ralph scratched his chin. “I don’t know that I should let you in, Thaddeous. Mr. Walters said that I’m not supposed to let anybody up there after working hours without special authorization from him. Today especially, because Mr. Walters is on the warpath about something or another. He wants me to get all the sign–in books in order right away, and said he’d be over to check them any time now. He’ll be awful mad if he sees y’all when he gets here.”

  Joleen looked alarmed. “He’s coming over here tonight?” Then she said, low enough that Ralph couldn’t hear her, “What if he tries to use that computer?”

  “Look, Ralph,” Thaddeous said. “We won’t be in there but for a little bit. You know we won’t hurt anything.”

  “Well,” Ralph said, “I just don’t know.”

  “I didn’t want to bring this up,” Joleen said, “but Ralph, do you remember that morning last week when I came in early and you weren’t here yet? Remember how I didn’t tell Mr. Walters?”

  “Everybody’s late sometimes,” Ralph said indignantly. “I had car problems that day.”

  “We understand that, Ralph,” Thaddeous said. “We all bend the rules every once in a while, and that’s all we’re asking you to do now.”

  Ralph was clearly weakening. “I guess it’ll be all right, just this once,” he said, “but you be sure to get gone before Mr. Walters gets here.”

  Thaddeous nodded. “We’ll park around back, and if he gets here before we leave, call up to the mill and we’ll be out of there in a heartbeat.”

  “Thanks Ralph,” Richard called out as we drove to the mill. As Thaddeous had promised, we parked on the far side of the mill, where Walters would be unlikely to see us. Thaddeous let us in by a side door.

  The building echoed as we walked through to Joleen’s desk, stationed right in front of the elevators at the main entrance.

  My heart sank when I saw Joleen’s computer. It was at least five years old, which was ancient in computer terms. Papers were stacked on top of the air vents an
d the screen didn’t look like it had been dusted off in a year. This was not going to be fun. “Now what exactly is wrong with your system?” I asked Joleen.

  “I don’t know,” she said defensively. “I was entering in orders like I always do, and all of a sudden it wouldn’t do anything anymore. I kept typing, but nothing happened.”

  The system froze, I said to myself. “What did you do then?”

  “I turned it off, and tried to turn it back on, but nothing happened.”

  “Sounds like a hard disk crash to me,” I said speculatively. No one argued with me. “First things first. Joleen, move those papers off of there. If you block the air vents, your system is bound to overheat.” Then I pointed to the metal copy holder next to the disk drive. “And keep that away from the computer from now on.”

  She moved it, but asked, “How come?”

  “Paper is held onto the holder with a magnet, right?” I said.

  She nodded.

  “Well putting a magnet next to a floppy disk or a hard disk is just about the worst thing you can do to it. It scrambles your data.” She still looked confused. “Trust me,” I said emphatically.

  “Now let’s see what we can do,” I said, pulling up a chair and switching on the PC. As Joleen had said, an error message told me that she was in deep trouble. “When was the last time you made a back–up?” I asked hopefully.

  “What’s that?”

  “Never mind,” I said. “This is going to take a while, so y’all may as well get comfortable.” As the three of them found chairs, I went to work. Joleen was lucky I had brought my laptop computer down to show off to the family. The utility software on my hard disk was the only way I was going to be able to save her data.

  As it turned out, it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. With the help of a couple of utility programs, I salvaged a bunch of files and Joleen showed me which were the latest. That done, I couldn’t resist the opportunity to set up a decent file structure and clean up the disk in general.

  As usual when working, I lost all track of time. Thaddeous and Joleen had long since lost interest in what I was doing, and even Richard’s eyes were starting to glaze over when we heard the shot. Or rather, when everybody but me heard it. I was so deep in Joleen’s files that it didn’t register.