His smile dropped and instead he just stared at my face. I met his gaze, trying to read his expression but he wasn't letting me in this time.
"You’ve been crying," he concluded, in a matter-of-fact way.
I wondered if this routine was getting old for Adrian. It seemed that every time Ray and I had a problem, I ran to Adrian. Had he noticed?
"Come in, Sidney; let me have a look at what he did to you."
I rushed across the giant room. I knew he was concerned about the injuries I had sustained, but I was more concerned about Adrian’s wounds. I gently took his face in my hands and inspected his wounds. He’d suffered a split lip, but other than that he was unscathed. I touched my finger to his mouth and lightly rubbed it, wishing my touch could heal his injury.
“I’m so sorry,” I tenderly whispered
He didn’t answer. Instead he took my face and brushed his hand against my cut. We were just two victims of Ray’s violence. I turned my face into his warm hand. It felt so good to be this close to him. I looked into his green eyes and for a moment thought that maybe I could take all of my anger out right here, right now. I could put my lips on his and get lost in the feelings of this new person. I could get back at Ray that way.
Instead, I shook the temping thoughts from my head. I would never allow Adrian to be a pawn in this excruciating emotional game that Ray and I had always played. Adrian was too good of a person to be involved in that.
He looked at me with a sheepish grin. “I didn’t know Ray Ryker from Unspoken Words was your boyfriend.”
I dropped my hand from his soft face and looked at him skeptically. “Is that why you didn’t fight back when he punched you? You were too star struck or what?”
He shook his head. “I just didn’t realize that your boyfriend was so famous, that’s all.”
I brought my face close to his, the same way he liked to do when he teased me.
“I can get his autograph for you the next time I see him if you’d like.”
As I made the suggestion I couldn’t help but burst into laughter. All of the crazy things I had been through finally seemed to be catching up to me and now I felt like I might welcome a strait-jacket and a padded room. At least I’d get a decent night’s rest.
Adrian sat silent, choosing not to engage in my crazy laughter. Instead, he touched my head and I could see the anger return to his eyes as he looked over my freshly opened cut.
“I’d prefer that you didn’t see him again.”
I stood up and took a deep breath trying to keep my emotions in check. “That shouldn’t be very hard to do. I’m pretty sure we’re broken up.”
Not wanting to rehash the memories of tonight’s dreadful event, I turned towards the door and began to walk out. I needed to go home, but then I remembered the conversation I had heard moments before.
I turned and asked him, “Who were you talking to on the phone?”
Adrian’s eyes got big. “You heard that?”
Embarrassed for eavesdropping, I looked down at the floor in shame.
“It was a client I’ve been working with. We’ve posted his bail and now he’s fled. You just witnessed the not so glamorous part of my job.”
“Don’t you have bounty hunters to deal with bail jumpers or something?”
Adrian smiled. “Not at Adley and Ayers Law Firm. We don’t mind getting down and dirty over there. We have no problem playing the lawyer and the hunter if needed.”
The way he said hunter sent shivers down my spine. I wouldn’t mind being hunted by someone like him. If given the opportunity, I might even skip bail just to have him hunt me. Looking up, I noticed Adrian must have still been in hunter mode. He was staring at me as if I were his next meal. I could see what might happen if I stayed any longer, and so I turned around and began heading out of the house. Adrian followed, and once we were on the front porch, he reached into his pocket, pulled out a cigarette, and lit it.
“So, if you decided to go in on a partnership with this firm you’re working for, you could call yourselves Triple A,” I suggested.
He looked confused.
“Adler, Ayers and Adrian, get it?”
He gave me a slight frown and took a long drag and slowly exhaled, “Why are you leaving?”
That was a funny question. It had to be close to two o’clock in the morning. Did he expect that I would just stay the night?
In absence of a good answer, I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t know. I just need to go home and get some rest. Everything feels like it’s falling apart right now.”
Adrian took another drag of his cigarette as he casually watched me with his calm demeanor.
“Maybe it’s falling into place, Sidney.”
I rolled my eyes and headed down the narrow pathway that led to the sidewalk.
He followed me and made an offer, “You said if I wanted you to stay longer, I’d have to ask you to stay for a movie or something.”
I stopped and suppressed the smile that was fighting to escape my mouth.
Turning around, I said, “I was assuming the invitation would be extended sometime during the day, not in the middle of the night.”
“I have Netflix. We can watch whatever you want.”
Then he turned around and headed into the house without waiting for my answer. I hated how sure of himself he could be sometimes. As if he just knew that I would follow him wherever he went. I had half a mind to leave. To show him that I did in fact have freedom of choice and he shouldn’t be so presumptuous to assume I will be so quick to follow. But I didn’t want to go home and deal with my painful emotions the night had brought me. It sounded so much easier to go inside and get lost in a fictional movie with my mysterious new guy. So, I followed Adrian back into the giant white house.
Chapter 12
Foolish Games
Adrian was already in the kitchen by the time I’d re-entered the house.
“Are you hungry?” he yelled. “I can fix you something to eat if you’d like.”
Unable to contain my dry humor, I responded, “You mean you can make something besides a sandwich?”
“Of course. I have microwave popcorn.”
I laughed and accepted the snack.
While Adrian fumbled around the kitchen, I searched for the remote control and began browsing through the guide when I saw that the remake of The Great Gatsby had just begun. I loved this movie and so I quickly flipped it on.
Adrian entered the room and sat on the other end of the couch. He stretched his arms out so that his fingertips were almost touching my shoulder. I tried to remain frozen in my spot but eventually the buttery smell of popcorn got the best of me and I scooted closer to him and plunged my hand into the bag of the addictive treat.
“Did you find a movie you want to watch?”
“If it’s okay with you, this is one of my favorites,” I gushed.
“Well then, let’s take a journey into the mind of Miss Sidney Sinclair, shall we?”
We sat back and watched the tragic love story that always seemed to capture my heart. I loved the latest film adaptation with the bright colors and the latest songs remixed with a bit of jazz, giving them a reminiscent feeling of the roaring twenties. The lively dance parties were so extravagant that I always wished I could just jump right into the screen and participate with the party-goers. Their outfits were so eccentric yet everyone seemed to be full of confidence. Everyone was so happy, lost in a story full of money, glitz, and glamour.
The ending always left me with a bitter taste in my mouth; a disgusted feeling in the pit of my stomach and my heart, leaving it feeling sad, empty, and unfulfilled. I was terribly sad because Gatsby had let everything in his life slip away except for his one true love. Everything he had done was for Daisy Buchanan.
I was disgusted by how Daisy could betray someone she claimed to love so much and instead stay with a man who treated her like dirt. I concluded that Daisy deserved her husband, Tom Buchanan but Gatsby, well, Gatsby deserved s
o much more.
His only crime was falling in love with the wrong woman. If only he had never met her, his life would have been so much different.
The film ended in the same way it had begun; with Daisy still looking sad and pathetic in her unhappy marriage as she yearned to be with Gatsby, but the viewers watching the movie no longer felt sorry for her. She was the creator of her own destruction.
Watching the credits scroll across Adrian’s flat screen TV, I sat on the couch thinking of Tom Buchanan. I thought of the scene when he and Gatsby were both pleading their case to Daisy as they begged her to choose each of them.
Ironically, Tom never showed any interest in Daisy until he felt threatened by Gatsby. She was nothing but a possession to him. “Once in a while I go out on a spree but I always come back,” was the sorry excuse he gave Daisy as he was pleading his case.
“Well, if you relate movies to your life like you do with songs, I can definitely see why you would like this one,” Adrian announced as he invaded my sad, dark thoughts.
He grabbed a small pillow and lay down on the couch, bringing his head inches from my thigh.
“How so?” I retorted.
He sat back up and stared into my face, “Are you kidding me? Tom was obviously Ray and you are Daisy here.”
“I hate Daisy,” I snarled, completely appalled that he would compare me to that selfish little witch. “Besides, I don’t have a Gatsby pining after me, purchasing a mansion next to my house in the hopes of me joining him for our epic reunion.”
Adrian just laughed and shook his head as he grabbed the empty bag of popcorn and headed towards the kitchen.
Anxious to change the subject, I shouted after him, “It’s so strange that you grew up on the other side of the country when your family was originally from here. Most people who grow up here never leave this pathetic town.”
He re-entered the living room and sat down on the couch, but this time he left no space between us.
“Who knows, maybe I’ll stay in this town after all.”
Once again he grabbed the couch pillow but unlike before, he placed it in my lap and rested his head on top of it. Instinctually I placed my hand on it and allowed my fingers to glide through his sleek black hair.
“That feels good,” he murmured, his eyes closed.
I felt like I could stay there forever with him. Having him so close to me felt right. Touching him and feeling those butterflies in my stomach felt more than a little exciting to me.
“You say most people who grow up here stay, but Ray didn’t…did he?”
His eyes were still closed but there was a slight smile around the corners of his mouth. He almost seemed to enjoy the destructiveness of my relationship.
I stopped stroking his hair.
“I guess there was nothing to keep him,” I reluctantly answered, as I came to the conclusion that perhaps my relationship with Ray had finally run its course. Adrian’s eyes slowly opened and he sat up on the couch and stared at me.
I believed at that moment he was finally going to kiss me. I must have said the right words affirming that his advances would be welcomed. I waited but he never brought his face any closer to mine.
“You should have been enough to keep him here, Sidney.”
I looked down at the beige couch and began playing with a loose thread, suddenly not wanting to continue this conversation.
“Well, I guess I wasn’t enough,” was all I could reply.
I looked up and met his gaze, waiting for him to challenge my conclusion.
“I guess you weren’t,” he agreed.
His comment struck a nerve. It was okay for me to wallow in self-pity and conclude that I was simply not enough for Ray, but for someone else to say that to me really stung.
I grabbed my purse and rocketed off of the couch. I threw the big red door open but then stopped in my tracks and spun around to confront Adrian and give him a piece of my mind. I didn’t have to go far. He had followed me to the door. I opened my mouth, ready to lay into him but he cut me off.
“Look, Sidney. I know this isn’t my place to give my two cents and maybe I should learn when to shut my mouth, but all I’m saying is, if you’re not enough for Ray, why is he enough for you?”
I had never really thought of it that way. Why did I put up with all of this?
I did my best to defend my consistently lame emotional state. “Because I promised him that I would wait for him and be supportive of his dream,” I mechanically answered, suddenly realizing even I was a little unsure about my answer.
“And how long did you plan on being his whipping girl?” Adrian raised his arm above my head and pushed the front door shut.
Defiantly I shot back, “However long it takes.” I felt my cheeks redden. I was getting mad again.
He took a step closer until his face was inches from mine. His scent was mixed with cigarettes and cologne and it was whirling around, making me dizzy with foolishness again.
He emotionally leveled me. “What are you going to pass up while you’re waiting for him?”
Of all of the mixed signals that Adrian let off, this one was unlike any he had said to me. This statement was loud and clear. Now, I knew. He actually felt the same attraction for me that I felt for him.
I gripped the bottom of his brown sweater and played with the wool, pulling it closer to me. He obliged and took a step closer. Our bodies were now touching and the warmth of each of us radiated serious heat. My back was pressed against the door and he was in front of me. There was no escape and for the first time, I didn’t want one. I didn’t want to run away like I so often did when the situation got awkward. I was staring into his eyes, trying to get him to read what my mouth refused to say. But he was a statue, waiting for me to answer.
“Am I passing something up?” I breathed, barely comprehending anything else in the universe at that singular moment.
A question answered by a question. That always seemed to work in classic dialogue.
He said nothing. Instead he brought his gaze down to my necklace once again as his hand gripped the pendant. I closed my eyes and clawed at the door while I envisioned myself gripping those dark locks of heavenly scented hair in my fists and pulling his face into mine. I bit my bottom lip as I tried to force those images out of my mind.
Friends, that’s all, I promised myself.
But then my hands deceived me as they reached up and gripped his face. I couldn’t wait any longer for these foolish games. I pulled his face down so that his lips were next to mine and I could feel his breath.
My whole body tingled at the thought of him this close to me. I wanted him so bad. I could feel the tension in his body diminish and he slowly began to give in. His lips spread apart as he pressed them to mine.
My god, this was really happening between us.
Then a phone rang.
We broke away from the trance we were in and Adrian pulled the cell phone out of his pocket. He searched my eyes for some kind of response but I revealed nothing. There was no way I was going to be the one to determine what this all meant.
He looked down at the caller ID and assured me, “It’s just a client.”
My previous instinct to flee returned. “I should go,” I breathed. “I’m sorry”
He said nothing and instead turned around and headed back into the library, holding the ringing phone in his hand. Placing the phone against his ear, he answered it as he walked through the double doors.
My heart sank into my stomach. I desperately wanted to know who was on the other end. Whoever it was, they were obviously much more important to Adrian than our inexplicable embrace. It also bothered me that every time he got close to me, he always put up a wall and grabbed my necklace. It was obvious that my necklace reminded him of someone. It was also apparent he had some unfinished business and he was clearly not ready to start a new relationship until it was settled.
Was that phone call part of that same business? He said it was a client but I co
uldn’t believe a client would be calling at this hour.
I laughed at my observation as I realized I was so worried about Adrian’s relationship responsibility that I had forgotten about my own obligation here. It was easy for me to blame my lack of relationship on Adrian, but the fact of the matter was that he had every right not to become involved with a girl who already had a boyfriend. If I wanted Adrian, there was a choice that would have to be made by no one else but me. This was my call all the way.
Ray would have to be completely out of my life.
Chapter 13
Saving Us
I found myself walking down the dark streets of Noddington Heights and glanced down at my watch. 4:28 a.m.
It was cold and I was a mess. I was grateful that my house was only a few blocks away.
Ray’s rented Jaguar remained in the driveway and as I walked past it I wondered if there was any possibility of us reconciling when he returned to pick it up. I would have to try. He had to believe me when I told him I didn’t mean those things I had said out of anger. I loved Ray, and I couldn’t imagine living a life without him.
I guess in a way, my choice had already been decided. I could never give up on Ray.
I crept up the old wooden stairs and unlocked the front door as quietly as I could. Retreating into my bedroom, I reached for my bottle of pain meds and popped two more in my mouth before I slid under the covers.
I felt so tiny and fragile in the bed I had been sharing with Ray for the past week. Turning over on my side, I stared at the empty place where my boyfriend should have been sleeping next to me. Instead, he was alone in a jail cell.
I closed my eyes and waited for the pills to kick in and take me to a place where I wouldn’t feel so guilty. I wouldn’t feel anything.
***
When I woke up the next morning I felt the full impact of my mistake.
As soon as I opened my eyes it felt as if all of the oxygen had been sucked from the atmosphere as I lay in bed, struggling to catch my breath.
I gasped for air, but my lungs were depleted and I felt as if I might die, right there in bed. I clutched my chest, attempting to soothe the scorching ache inside but I knew it was no use. Nothing could extinguish the flame that burned inside my chest. The fire had burned for too long. I knew that there was no saving it because inside, it was just an empty cavity. The burning ash of what once was. Because I believed I no longer had a heart. Ray had ripped it out of my chest the night before.
Between Loves (The Pendant Series Book 2) Page 8
