Between Loves (The Pendant Series Book 2)

by Austin, Cynthia

  Okay, so maybe Adrian and I would not be able to remain friends.

  Attempting to defuse the situation, I reached over and took his hand again. “You’re right, Ray. I do love you and nothing’s changed.”

  Why did this guy make me so stupid? Was I still a freshman, here?

  He squeezed it tight, searching my face for the truth, and he must have been pleased with what he saw because I watched as the fire in his eyes burned out and was replaced with the smoldering look of lust. He grabbed my face and pulled me down next to him, kissing me passionately. I closed my eyes and gave in to the swirls of ecstasy surrounding me. The room started spinning as I lost myself in him. I loved him so much and it seemed that everything was finally coming together.

  He pulled his head back slightly and I opened my eyes. He tenderly whispered, “Thank you for giving me another chance. I promise I won’t blow it this time.”

  We kissed again and I knew what he said was true. Ray broke away from our kiss and flashed me a big smile of his perfect white teeth. Then, like a little boy he exclaimed, “I have a surprise for you. Let’s go downstairs.

  ***

  We entered the double doors to the hotel ballroom and all at once it was as if we had been transported into a parallel universe. The place was dark except for the different strobe lights flashing every which way and my ears were flooded by the thunderous music being played on what seemed to be a full-sized arena stage.

  The beat was a cheerful tune that immediately made me want to dance and the song sounded vaguely familiar.

  At once my face lit up at the familiarity of the band. “Is this The Neon—”

  Ray smiled knowingly and nodded his head as he cut me off in mid-sentence. “We’ve been opening for them on tour and Tyler and I have become pretty close. He agreed to sing at the event tonight.”

  It was almost surreal to hear Ray on a first name basis with one of the hottest bands in the country, but it reflected the status Ray had attained.

  “What kind of event is this?” I asked, still getting used to the visual spectacle.

  Ray placed his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close as we walked into the festivities. “The radio station here in San Francisco wanted to throw us a post-award party. It’s their way to congratulate us for winning the ‘Best Breakthrough Band’ award.”

  A nicely dressed man holding a tray of the most luxurious bottled water I had ever seen approached us. Ray grabbed one as he gave the man a nod of appreciation. Once the man was out of earshot, Ray looked at me and said in the deepest, most sophisticated voice, “Would you like to purify yourself with the waters of Lake Minnetonka?”

  I buried my face in his shoulder and tried to stifle my laughter. Ray’s mom Teresa was a huge Prince fan and Ray loved to make fun of his movie Purple Rain at his mother's expense.

  He shouted, “Come on, let’s dance.”

  Before I had time to answer, Ray was pulling me out on the dance floor and we were dancing as one of my favorite bands sang less than five feet away. The whole thing felt more than a little surreal, as if I could blink and all of this could disappear. I held on to Ray as we both laughed, and sang, and danced, just like old times.

  Ray may have outshone me on all other aspects of life, but on the dance floor, I was the Queen. After all, I was the one who taught him how to dance at Homecoming years before.

  After a few songs, we tirelessly left the dance floor in search of some of that purifying water. Ray led me over to the bar and asked me to wait for him while he went to use the bathroom. I ordered two waters and went to take a seat at a nearby table.

  Then, I heard my name being called.

  “Sidney Sinclair? Is that really you or are my eyes deceiving me?”

  I knew that flat, dry voice anywhere. I plastered a fake smile on my face and spun around as graciously as I could.

  “Rene! It’s been a long time,” I responded with my excellent brand of fake enthusiasm.

  The thin, blonde woman stood erect in a black skintight dress as she held a dirty martini in the air. Her hair was just as I remembered, straight and shoulder length with bangs cut across her forehead in a razor straight line. Her big sunglasses were replaced with an even bigger pair of fake eyelashes.

  She stabbed the olive with her drink stirrer and plopped it into her mouth. Swallowing it down, she answered, “It certainly has. I actually was expecting it to be a little longer, given the last publicity nightmare we had to go through on your behalf. The P.R. team has been making it their mission to make sure Ray didn’t break down and call you.” She frowned slightly before continuing, “I might have to fire them.”

  Rene’s insulting words actually relieved me. To hear that Ray hadn’t contacted me in six months because the label restricted him meant that it wasn’t his decision to stay away from me.

  He didn’t hate me after all.

  Gulping down her martini, Rene continued, “Of course I’m not surprised to see you. The love you two have for each other doesn’t die easily. Let’s just try to refrain from any more drunken bar fights, okay? Water’s probably the safest choice for both of you.”

  And then she was gone, leaving me standing, mouth open, staring at the two bottles of water that I was holding. Rene was a bitch but I think there was a bit of a compliment in what she had said to me.

  She had just validated that what Ray and I have, is in fact, special.

  Ray reappeared and I handed him his water. He took a swig of it and was ready to pull me back onto the dance floor but then Chrissy and Finn came into view. I let go of Ray’s hand and ran over to my best friend.

  I had to ask them, “How’s everything going?”

  Finn put his arm around Chrissy’s shoulders and answered, “Oh you know. We’re making progress but it would go a lot faster if I had a jack hammer to break this ice.”

  Chrissy brushed his arm off of her and pursed her lips at him. “You call this progress, Finn Aldman? Progress will be made when you tell your jerk of a cousin never to sing that song again!”

  Ray came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist and laughed at Chrissy and Finn’s dramatic tone. “Oh please, Chrissy, you know you love every second of this,” Ray joked.

  Finn bellowed, “She sure does. She loves it so much she’s going to take me back, isn’t that right, doll face?”

  Before Chrissy could respond, Finn grabbed her head and planted a big kiss on her cheek.

  Chrissy put a finger in his face and warned, “You keep those lips away from me and I am not your doll face, got it?”

  Of course, we all knew that Chrissy’s bark was louder than her bite, her eyes were glowing and she was enjoying every moment.

  Ray began to kiss my neck and then moved his lips to my ear and whispered, “Can we go someplace to talk?”

  I nodded, and we turned and snuck away from the two undercover love birds.

  This night was amazingly perfect but we both knew we still had a lot of unfinished business. After we had exited the double doors, we took a seat on a small bench in the hotel lobby.

  “Look, Ray…” I began, but Ray cut me off before I could finish.

  “No, Sid. Let me start. I want you to know that I didn’t mean any of those things I said to you that night.”

  He put his hand on my forehead and rubbed my small scar. “And most importantly, I didn’t mean to push you. That was the stupidest mistake of my life. I drank way too much and it just brought the devil out in me.”

  I cringed at his choice of words. There was something about Ray and his faith that still bothered me. Or, perhaps it was just Adrian’s lack of faith rubbing off of me. God, The Devil, all of that tomfoolery is just an excuse for humans to act absurd. Religion was not my strong suit.

  “I was so friggin’ stupid,” Ray continued. “I know that you never would cheat on me. I was obviously just feeling guilty about my own actions and I tried to turn it around on you. It wasn’t fair to you, and I’m sorry for that, Sid.”

/>   “I’m sorry too, Ray. I’ve thought about you every day and you don’t know how badly I’ve wanted things to go back to normal.”

  His eyes shot up in anticipation of what I was going to say.

  “But what is normal, Ray? It hasn’t been normal since high school.”

  He had no answer for that one. We sat in silence. He knew I was right. But what could we do about it? It’s not like he was going to quit his band.

  “I made a promise to you, Sid, and I’m going to keep my word.” He met my eyes with a look of confidence and determination.

  I sat in disbelief.

  Was Ray telling me that he wanted to come back into my life forever? I didn’t want to hear any more of his empty promises. I didn’t want to cling to an imaginary rope of hope. I slipped my hand out of his grip and sat back on the bench, lost in thought.

  “What are you thinking?” he asked me, too afraid to make eye contact.

  I got to the heart of the matter. “I don’t want to be given a false sense of hope just to be disappointed again.”

  He hesitated, drinking down his bottle of water before answering, then he delivered his bombshell.

  Suddenly, he was kneeling in front of me. He pulled a black velvet box out of his pocket and opened his mouth to speak.

  Ray did speak but I didn’t hear a word of it. All I could hear was a high pitched ringing in my ears as the room began to spin. I felt nauseous as I gripped my stomach and focused on holding my food down.

  Then I looked at Ray, he was staring up at me, waiting for an answer to the question I didn’t hear. But the open box told me all I needed to know. Inside that tiny case was a beautiful, vintage-looking ring. The center held a humongous diamond solitaire and the rest of the band was splattered with tiny blue sapphires.

  “You told me you didn’t want a new necklace, so I decided to take it a step further and ask you. Will you marry me?”

  I hesitated. I didn't know how to answer. I didn’t know whether to believe this was really happening.

  “Ray, our relationship has been nothing but a struggle. We always come close to happiness, but we never reach it.”

  He smiled boldly, “I'll struggle for you until I take my last breath, Sidney Sinclair.”

  I flinched at the use of my full name, he was dead serious.

  “Since that night of my arrest, there has been a pictorial timeline of my life in the spotlight. Never once have I been photographed with another girl. There’s been no one since that night because I’ve realized that I love only you. I’m nothing without you.”

  Instantly my mind was thrust back into the scene from The Great Gatsby when Tom Buchanan and Gatsby were fighting over Daisy.

  I always come back to you, Daisy.

  My future life began to flash before my eyes of what it would be like if I accepted Ray’s proposal: the big house with the lonely walls imprisoning me in a life of sadness and regret. The empty life that Daisy had felt would be transferred to me. If Ray and I decided to have a family, would he be there for the birth, the first words, and the first baby steps or would he be constantly on tour being idolized by his millions of fans? I would be alone, just like Daisy had been as she dreamt about being with Gatsby.

  The last thought took my breath away and I finally saw what Adrian had tried to make me see the night we watched the film.

  Besides, I don’t have a Gatsby pining after me, purchasing a mansion next to my house for me to live in.

  Then, it hit me.

  Holy shit, Adrian is my Gatsby!

  I jumped up from the bench and scanned the lobby, looking for the nearest escape plan as my track and field instincts kicked in. Ray, still down on one knee, immediately realized what my intentions were.

  His eyes grew wide with the fear of rejection and he shook his head and whispered, “Please don’t do this, Sid.”

  But I couldn’t help it. My mind was reeling out of control. There was still so much left unfinished here. I needed to clear my head and I could only do that by seeing Adrian. I needed to speak with him before I could consider Ray’s proposal.

  I glanced down at Ray one last time, his blue eyes were glazed over and I knew that I was breaking his heart but I couldn’t stop myself.

  “Don’t run away from me,” he begged.

  Ray knew me so well that it was quite possible that he was my other half. But I couldn’t accept a marriage to him without first talking to Adrian. I owed him that much.

  Doing exactly what Ray had begged me not to do, I ran away from him.

  I burst through the glass doors and ran out into the open streets of San Francisco. Immediately, I was bombarded with the flash bulbs of the paparazzi as they screamed their questions towards me.

  “When’s the wedding, Sidney?”

  “Will you and Ray be attending couples counseling to manage your anger?”

  “What if he hits you again, that was a pretty gnarly cut he left on your head the last time.”

  Ignoring all of these strangers’ intrusive questions I continued to push my way through the mob and escaped the hotel.

  It was dark and a heavy rain was pouring down on me but I didn’t care. I took off my heels and held them in my hand as I raced toward the train station.

  I had to see Adrian.

  Acknowledgments

  I would like to start out by giving a big thank you to anyone who took the time to read Between Dreams and followed Sidney’s life into Between Loves. Without you all, Sidney would still be just a thought in my mind. Your interest in Sidney gives me strength to keep going.

  Thank you to all of my friends, my family both in Arkansas and back home on the West Coast, and a gigantic thank you to all of the social media groups out there who have helped spread the word of this book. Mia and Nichole at Indie Sage PR have been phenomenal in showcasing this book on their website as well as the countless other bloggers. Our small hometown social media group on Facebook called “Martinez Rants and Raves,” each one of our town citizens has a love/hate relationship with this group and although it’s stirred some major conflict in the past, it has always served a greater purpose and that is supporting our community. The members in that group have been amazing and I am honored that many of you decided to give my book a chance, simply because we share the love our town. Thank you Roxanne down at Roxx on Main for hosting an author signing. We need more small businesses out there like you that care about the community and the creativity of art. Thank you Tina, for your eccentric personality that easily gave me the inspiration needed in order to create Chrissy.

  Thank you, Mom, and my crazy siblings. I honestly never expected any of you to read the book but I am so glad that you did. Your support means the world to me.

  Many thanks to my editors Pat Hurley and Toni Rakestraw for tackling the not so glamorous part of the writing process. Your job is imperative and I don’t know what I would do without either one of you.

  Thank you to my Beta Reader and good friend, Margaret Potter. Of course I am ecstatic about your enthusiasm to read my work but what I am most happy about is the fact that this book brought us back in contact with one another. Let’s never go another 10+ years again without seeing each other.

  Thank you to my husband, Robby, my amazing stepdaughter Madison, and my boys Tyler and Travis. I love you all so much.

  Last, a big thank you to the team at Limitless Publishing for seeing the potential in my story and taking a chance on me! Thank you so much Dixie Matthews, Jessica Gunhammer, and Jennifer O’Neill. This has been quite a journey and I am really excited to continue on this path with you all. Thank you to Ashley Byland at Redbird Designs for the amazing covers you designed for the series. I proudly point any writer in need of a cover to you.

  About the Author

  Cynthia Austin lives in Northern California with her husband, two boys, and Olde English Bulldogge named Count Dogula. They love all things horror, gothic, and Victorian which prompts her friends to dub them as “The Adams Family.”


  She is an avid reader who may be slightly obsessed with music. She hears music in a way that she believes the artist intended it to be heard: visually, with a storyline that follows. Listening to the songs by her favorite artists, she was inspired to write her first series titled “The Pendant.”

  Cynthia has been published twice in The Writer’s Monthly Magazine as well as the online news site, Yahoo! Voices. She currently attends Diablo Valley College, in Pleasant Hill, California, where she is working to achieve her degree in English.

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