Standing Outside the Fire

by Jillian Neal

  That got her a grunt. She barely managed to keep her eye roll at bay. Jamie grunted when he refused to say what he really wanted to say. “Just spill it,” she ordered.

  “I wasn’t aware I was someone people needed to warn you off about.”

  Oh good grief. “You’re not.”

  Another grunt. Why did cowboys have to be so frustrating? That was yet another reason she shouldn’t even try to imagine what it would be like to be in a romantic relationship with Jamie—to wake up in those impossibly strong arms every day, safe and warm, to trace the trail of dark brown hair that she knew ran from his abs down into his shorts with her fingers, to feel the slight friction burn from his short beard on her chin and…points below, to finally find out exactly what Jamie’s lips tasted like. She imagined straight whiskey and pure sin.

  She knew he’d be the kind of kisser who could get girls drunk off his mouth. She knew because she’d heard it all through high school, and then every time he was home from Oklahoma State, and for the rest of adulthood. Other women were in and out of his life constantly. They never stayed around long. She’d asked him once why that was. He’d shrugged and gotten a weird look in his eyes. They’d never discussed it again.

  Chapter Five

  Jamie finally got the call he’d been waiting on. “What happened?” he demanded of Wes.

  “I tried to buy her as much time as I could. Told everybody not to go up and get her out of the bride dressing room thing ‘cause you were up there and needed some time to talk before she walked down the aisle.”

  “How’d that go over?”

  “They sat for a good little while, but then her sister tore down the aisle and went running up there. Her daddy followed after. Tell you the truth, I didn’t know her preacher guy had any fire in him, but he was pissed the fuck off. Got to threatening you. Saying you’d turned her against him. Poisoned her mind or whatever. Her daddy assured Ed that you’d been a bad influence on her since middle school. You know he don’t much like cattle ranchers in general which is funny since that’s who makes up half of his congregation. He thinks we’re all un-American. Says the whole town puts Holder land and family above the good Lord, and that makes our ranch an idol. Dad reminded him that Holder Land and Cattle paid a good portion of his salary, so he might want to think on that. Ed got the bright idea that he’d fight you for her. Maddog and I reminded him that there were a lot more Holders than he wanted to take on, and that we didn’t mind whipping his pansy-ass if he even thought about going after the two of you. He told us we’d go to hell for it. Maddox told him Satan was scared of us too.”

  Jamie laughed at that, but Wes continued. “That might not’a been the thing to do though. Last thing I heard before he went into Reverend Tilson’s office with her daddy was that something was going to have to be done about the Holders. Things went from bad to worse real quick like as you can see.”

  “They can all suck my star-spangled firecracker for all the shits I give what they think of me. I just wanted to make sure no one was heading our way before I stopped to get her something to eat.”

  “For right now, no, they’re not looking for you. I wouldn’t come back home ’til this all blows over though. It can’t possibly be good for anyone involved, Charlie most of all. And if people start talking shit to her, we all know you’re gonna throw down every chance you get. Just let everybody get used to the idea that this whole wedding ain’t happening.”

  “That was my plan.”

  “Right now the church ladies are trying to decide if it’d be okay to cut the cake for everyone.”

  Jamie turned to Charlie. “You care if everybody at the church eats the cake?”

  “Nope. Tell them to enjoy it. It cost me a fortune, but me not having to eat it is worth every penny.”

  “Tell ‘em to go ahead. Give Ed some. Maybe he’ll simmer down.”

  “I doubt that’d help. Where are you two heading? You’re not going on their honeymoon with her are you, ‘cause I’m telling you that might drive Ed right over the edge. Guy’s got a mean side, that’s for sure.”

  “Nah. I figured we’d go up and see Colt for a while.”

  “That’s a good idea. I won’t let anybody know that I know where you are. Tell Colt I said hey.”

  “Will do. Let me know if anything happens there that I need to know about, and would you mind…”

  “Checking your cattle and your hay every damn day you’re gone?”

  “Yeah. Sorry about that.”

  “Dad and I decided we’d divide the work between the three of us brothers. Hallie says she’ll help out too. But, listen, it’s gonna up our workload, which means we aren’t gonna be able to keep an eye on Ed and Pastor Tilson, so keep your head up. Speaking of your head, if you can finally get it out of your ass and figure out what everybody but her daddy, and Ed, and maybe the two of you have known for years, it’ll be worth it.”

  “It ain’t gonna go like that, Wes.”

  Jamie couldn’t quite make out what his brother grumbled, but he was pretty sure it was dumbass.

  As soon as he ended the call, Charlie leapt. “Who exactly is going to be sucking your firecracker?” She couldn’t even say it without laughing.

  Jamie smirked. “Ed and your daddy.”

  “I was afraid of that. What’s Daddy saying? I’m sure he’s being awful.” She understood what had driven her father to be so overprotective of her and her sister, but why did that have to include being unkind to her favorite person in the whole world?

  “Same shit he’s been saying for years, plus that I poisoned you against Ed or something along those lines.”

  Charlie ground her teeth. “Ed poisoned me against himself. I should’ve known better than to get involved with him when Dad was the one that kept inviting him over. I think I felt sorry for him honestly. And I worry about Dad after his heart attack.”

  “Your daddy is doing fine, and Ed’s ego’s bruised. He’ll get over it,” Jamie insisted.

  “I don’t think he really cares too much except that the new church that hired him wanted him to be married, but surely that’s not like a requirement. That wouldn’t even be legal, I don’t think. They can’t make you be married to preach.”

  “Even if they tried to, him having a job ain’t your problem. He’ll get over it like I said.”

  Every time Charlie caught a glimpse of herself in the reflection in the window she winced. “I really, really want to get out of this dress.”

  Jamie coughed oddly over what sounded like another grunt. “Where do you want to go get clothes?”

  “Preferably somewhere inexpensive. I have a little over a hundred dollars cash in my wallet. I’ll use that.”

  “Just let me buy you whatever you need. You can pay me back after we get you unleashed from Ed.”

  “Maybe.” She considered that, but she was sure that was asking too much. Being unleashed from Ed was precisely how she felt. How had she ever found herself tied up with him in the first place? Had she been slowly giving away her freedoms without even realizing it? Fear that she’d done just that slithered up her spine.

  Apparently, it also stirred the hunger in her belly, which chose that exact moment of quiet to make itself known.

  Jamie chuckled at her. “Just a few more miles.”

  “Guess I’m hungrier than I realized.”

  Her shoulders eased a little when they flew past the “Welcome to Kansas: The Sunflower State” sign. Putting some distance between herself and Ed, and her father, and everything else in Holder County felt far better than it should. She leaned a little closer to Jamie and got another smile.

  True to his word, ten minutes later he was pulling into the gravel parking lot of a diner that looked like it had stepped right out of the fifties. Appropriately named The Three Squares, there was even a gas station across the street that was almost equally nostalgic. It was perfect, sitting there in an open field like it had been planted years ago just for them to arrive at this moment in time.


  Jamie helped her lift the small train of the dress so it didn’t drag in the gravel dust, not that she needed it pristine. What she needed was to get rid of the thing.

  But it wasn’t until they stepped inside The Three Squares that Charlie began to understand that letting other people inside this runaway trip of hers was going to be awkward…very, very awkward.

  “Oh my soul, Les, would you look at this!” A woman, whose name tag read Lena, clasped the dishrag in her hands and rushed toward them. Jamie stepped slightly ahead of Charlie as if to build her a blockade out of his body. He really was the best. “Newlyweds! I just love young love. Here, now let me get a picture for the wall.” She gestured to hundreds of Polaroid shots of diner guests over the years that were tacked to the yellowing wallpaper. Before Jamie or Charlie could stop her, she retrieved a camera that was almost as old as the diner and snapped a shot of the two of them. Apparently, posing and smiling weren’t necessary for diner pictures, which would explain the multiple images on the wall of people with food in their mouths.

  “Um,” Charlie tried to give weak protest, but Lena looked so thrilled she hated to correct her. She was waving the photo back and forth trying to get it to develop.

  “Sit in the round booth. That way you can cuddle.”

  They both stood frozen until Jamie relented and guided Charlie toward the table. “Are we going along with this?” he spoke through his teeth.

  “She looks so happy. I hate to ruin it.”

  “Got it.” With that, Jamie wrapped his arm around Charlie’s shoulders and pulled her closer rather intimately. She absolutely should not have done it, but she couldn’t help herself. She laid her head on his substantial shoulder and for just one minute let herself enjoy the warmth of his body and the scent of his cologne mixed with saddle leather that clung to Jamie always.

  But as she turned to let him help her into the seat, she caught the faint scent of smoke that had her moving away quickly. Just like the saddle leather, it was a part of him, and that was the part she couldn’t handle.

  Chapter Six

  Okay, so pretending to be married to Charlie was both reckless and stupid. It came far too easily to Jamie. He should’ve hit the brakes, but the day, the night before, the months of absolute dread that he’d held for this day that had turned out to be the greatest day of his life so far—it was all too dizzying for him to make good decisions. Or maybe that was the remnants of the hangover.

  All he knew was he needed about four plates of burgers and fries and maybe a milkshake to clear his head. Surely, that would help.

  To his shock, Lena set down two waters on the table and then scooted into the round booth beside Charlie, which in turn moved her right up against Jamie. Damn. Charlie smelled good. She always did. Like vanilla and cinnamon and some kind of musk he figured had to be from heaven because he’d never smelled anything like it on earth. She was an aphrodisiac without even trying, and she was pressed up against him like she really could be his.

  “What can I get you?” Lena urged.

  Jamie glanced down at the still unopened menus. “Maybe give us just a minute.” He tugged at his collar and decided to dispense with the tie altogether. He couldn’t fucking breathe.

  Charlie opened her menu to block her face and then shot him a help me glance. Once again, he wrapped his arm over her shoulders and propped it on the back of the booth wall trying to create a little more room for her.

  “Well, while y’all decide tell me how you met.” Lena wasn’t leaving it seemed.

  “Uh well,” Charlie tried and then came up short. Girl never had been good at lying. She was much better at being openly defiant and telling her daddy to get over it. Yet another thing Jamie adored about her.

  He threw all caution to the wind and figured he’d go with the truth. Surely, things couldn’t get any more awkward. “She moved into my hometown when we were in middle school. They brought her into my classroom on her first day of school that year, which also happened to be my birthday. I’ll tell you the truth, I figured God himself had gotten me a birthday present. I didn’t need to blow out the candles. I got my wish.”

  Charlie turned to stare him down. There was a whole different look in her eyes, one he’d never seen before. “Was it really your birthday?” she whispered.

  He nodded.

  “How did I not know that?”

  “You’d been through hell up to that point,” he gently reminded her. “By the time it rolled around again the next year you’d forgotten exactly when you arrived at school. No big deal.”

  “That is a big deal,” she corrected him. “It’s a huge deal. Birthdays are so important.”

  Before she could continue, Lena was visibly swooning. She grasped Charlie’s arm. “Oh honey, you have got yourself a good one. You better hang on to him. Men like that are once in a lifetime. And I know. Les’s my fourth husband.” She gestured to the kitchen.

  As if on cue, Les leaned in from behind the cooktop. “Lena, honey, leave ‘em be.”

  “Well, all right, fine.” She scooted out of the booth. “Y’all just flag me down when you’re ready to order. We have cherry pie today. Cherries are so fresh and ripe, you’ll love it.” Jamie really needed her to stop talking about cherries. “I top it with some fresh cream. Let it melt just a little all over. Get the cherries nice and creamy.” Dear god. “Now, don’t let me catch you letting him get his hands under that dress,” she urged.

  Charlie’s mouth hung open, and Jamie choked on the water he’d been drinking. When Lena finally left, Charlie turned her appalled look to Jamie. “Is there some kind of diner fetish in Kansas that we’re unaware of?”

  “I doubt you want me to Google that.” She gave him one of her infectious giggles, and he relished every moment of it. “Does that mean I’m not allowed to finger you at the table? Lena seems like it’d disappoint her if I don’t at least try.”

  Charlie punched him in the arm rather hard. “Would you stop?”

  “I thought we were supposed to be married. If we were married, I’d flirt dirty with you constantly. I’m just getting into character.” Okay, so he’d never outwardly flirted with Charlie, because that would cross that very firm friend/lover boundary that they’d always kept in place, but it was even more fun than he’d always imagined it would be.

  She rolled her eyes. “You’re just trying to embarrass me because you think it’s hilarious that I still blush.”

  “It is awfully cute.”

  “What do you want to eat, Holder?”

  He almost said you, but thought better of it. “I don’t much care what, so long as there’s a lot of it.”

  “Agreed. And I still can’t believe you didn’t even mention it was your birthday that day. You just let me follow you around like a lost puppy and never said anything about it.”

  Which was why he never said anything. He’d been given the best gift he ever could’ve come up with, so why say anything more about it. She’d kept right on looking at him like he was her personal hero, and that had been all he’d ever needed.

  “Do you know what you want?” Once again, he changed the topic.

  “I know that I’ll likely never be able to look at cherry pie the same way ever again.”

  “Thank god. I thought it was just me. Also, I kinda want to ask if we can get this table wiped down again. Little worried about what Lena and Les do when the diner’s empty.”

  Charlie gagged and lifted her arms off of the laminate. “If I wasn’t starved, I’d say we should drive until we find something else.”

  “There ain’t a lot between here and Lincoln so we need to get while the getting’s good. There’s a Target about three hours north of here and there might be some fast food up there, too, but I’m too hungry to wait that long.”

  “Me too.”

  While they were splitting a piece of peach pie, because cherry was absolutely out of the question, Lena pushed two of the wax-coated menus toward Charlie. “You should take these with you so y
ou remember all of the things you did on your honeymoon.”

  Charlie officially melted. Jamie bit back a grin. The girl kept everything. Every movie stub, every concert ticket, every everything they did together. She’d print them all out and keep them safe in all of her scrapbooks. She kept root beer bottles and pressed flowers into books to keep those too. Everything that ever meant anything to her or represented anytime they’d had fun together, she still had. But Jamie knew she’d also lost everything, including her mama, when she was little so he never questioned her being sentimental. He liked it. She was like his own personal diary. He told her everything. Everything except that he’d always wanted more of her.

  “Thank you,” Charlie gushed. She gave Jamie a soft grin. “I will definitely keep them.” And just like everything else she saved, she pressed the paper smooth, ran her fingers gently along the red tie binding, and carefully tucked them near her.

  “Are you just passing through here? Where are you headed?” Lena asked with entirely too much exuberance for someone not traveling with them.

  “Um…Nebraska.” Charlie seemed to realize how odd that likely sounded.

  “Oh,” Lena’s face fell. “Well, that’s…nice.”

  Okay, so Nebraska wasn’t exactly on any top ten honeymoon destination lists, but they weren’t really going on a honeymoon.

  They endured an awkward lunch with Lena constantly joining them at their table to ask uncomfortable questions. Jamie’s ears perked up while he was paying when Lena asked Charlie, “What would you say was the first thing that attracted you to him?”

  Charlie smothered a giggle and considered for a minute. Jamie stared her down. “Come on, honey. What was the first thing that attracted you to me?”

  Heat stained her alabaster cheeks and turned her lips the most beautiful shade of pink he’d ever seen. Somehow he knew she’d be just as pink and ripe between her legs, and god, he wanted to confirm his suspicion.