Standing Outside the Fire

by Jillian Neal

  “I know what you need, angel. I’m gonna take good care of you. Tender little pussy already showing me just how sweet it’s gonna be for me, isn’t it? So creamy and tight.” She bucked against his exploring fingers and clawed at the white sheets beneath her. So fucking responsive to him he damn near came across that fucking T-shirt she was still clinging to. He knew her better than anyone, and somehow that translated to knowing exactly what she wanted to hear from him.

  He brushed kisses at the tender spots where her pussy met her legs as he pressed two fingers gently through her folds. With no more warning than that, he found the tiny, hidden away opening that she was begging to be filled.

  He tried with two fingers, but she was too tight. Holy shit. He managed with one and asked a question he needed an answer to. She was a preacher’s daughter after all. He supposed it was possible. “Have you ever done this…with anyone else?”

  She nodded. “Yeah, just not in a long time.” Pain flashed in her eyes making him want to hunt down and beat whoever had caused her to look that way when she thought about sex. He doubled down on his determination to be gentle with her.

  “Not with Ed, then?” He loathed the thought.

  “No. We were waiting. Preacher and all.”

  “You’re so damn tight,” he coaxed her G-spot with his index finger, “try to relax for me. I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “The only way you’ll hurt me is if you stop. That feels so good.” Her eyes drifted closed again, and she bore down on his hand. Her sweet little pussy nursed at his fingers. My god, she was going to feel incredible on his cock.

  “I know it feels good, baby. I’m about to make it feel even better.”

  Keeping his strokes deep and even, he sank his mouth to her pussy lips and coaxed her clit with his tongue.

  A choked groan sobbed from her as she locked her thighs against his head. Her pussy fucking wept for more. And he indulged her with gentle flickers of his tongue until her clit peaked enough for him to draw it in his mouth and suck.

  “Oh god. Oh fuck that’s…good,” she gasped. It took all of his lacking concentration to keep from laughing. He’d never heard her so much as use the word damn before that moment, and she’d gone right for the ten-dollar word. Maybe that halo of hers could be set aside for a little while, if he did everything right. “I’m…” she whimpered and writhed. Her body seized.

  He locked her hips down with his available hand, keeping her right where he needed her. “Let it come, angel,” he urged. “Let that sweet honey drip down my throat. You taste so fucking good.” She tasted like his.

  But she fought the release like she somehow couldn’t allow herself the pleasure. Now, she was keeping herself from him both physically and sexually. He couldn’t stand that.

  Determination throbbed through his muscles. He craved her climax more than his next breath. “I want it, Charlie. I want to own it. Give it to me,” he commanded and then set to work.

  Chapter Thirteen

  She tried. She tried so hard to do as he ordered. Wanting nothing more than to please him, her mind scrambled. A tidal wave of fear tore her in two. She couldn’t relinquish control, not even to Jamie. Orgasms made her unable to breathe.

  But holy mother, that felt so good. It was all-encompassing, absorbing her entirely. She longed to be able to throw herself completely into it.

  “That’s it,” he continued to coax. Her tenacious grip on her own sanity slipped another degree in the sexy smoke of his voice. “Let yourself have it, baby. Let it feel good for me.”

  He didn’t sound frustrated, but surely he was. Both of the other guys she’d slept with, all of once, had gotten extremely frustrated with her. She tried not to think of that, and only to focus on how insanely good Jamie’s masterful hands felt on her body.

  Her body.

  Oh god. Panic walloped through her midsection forcing the amazing sensations aside to make room for more doubt. A whimper sprang free from her lips, but she wasn’t certain which side of her mind had created it—the side that swore she’d never recover from the awe-inspiring work of Jamie’s hands and his tongue—good lord, that wicked tongue—or the side that was frantically trying to make certain her shirt stayed down and didn’t reveal the scars.

  She wanted to let Jamie know how much she was enjoying being with him like this. And oh Great Jehoshaphat, what had they done? This was her and Jamie.

  The panic and the awe went to war. They held a draft, each claiming soldiers for their sides. She couldn’t think through the drowning doubts that cinched tightly around her throat. They became a blockade to the pleasure that threatened to pull her under. Some part of Charlie was thankful for them. For the control they allowed her to regain. Control was how she remained safe. It helped her to remember the thing she wanted most—for Jamie to enjoy this.

  But the other side, the one that aligned her pulse with the deep, forbidden strokes of his fingers, the one that rushed her own essence to his feasting tongue, wanted more. Her inner vixen, one she hadn’t known she possessed until she’d laid down beside Jamie naked, wanted his dominance, his force, his fervor. She wanted to be the object of his obsessions.

  Perhaps that was the neutral ground where the peace accord could be drawn. She wanted to be with him. She’d never been able to climax with a guy before, so she’d do what she always did. She’d fake it.

  “Tell me what you need, baby,” Jamie urged. She knew he’d likely do anything she asked.

  If she was going to have to fake it, then she wanted the full experience. The tug of emptiness she existed with daily longed to be full of him. She wanted to ache with his occupation, though she was certain she shouldn’t want things like that. At that moment, she didn’t care. She’d go back to being the preacher’s daughter, and hell, a different preacher’s almost-wife later. The seclusion of Camden Ranch bolstered her.

  “That feels so good,” she assured him, “but I want all of you. Please.”

  When he lifted his head from between her thighs, his lips were slick with her cream. That did nothing to give her courage. Embarrassment stalled the rush of blood in her veins.

  “Are you sure, angel? I was loving the sounds you were making when I was between those fuck-me thighs, but then you stopped. I want to make this good for you. Just tell me what you need.”

  “I’m sure.” She tried to grip his substantial shoulders so she could pull him back on top of her. His weight on her was the only thing that made any sense at all.

  He complied, crawling up her body like a lithe predator intent on his prey. She moaned instinctively. Her heart sped, and her breath tangled in her lungs. “Just breathe for me, baby. I’m gonna take good care of you.”

  Jamie always knew the right things to say to her. She drew a deep breath soaked with his raw masculine scent and forced herself to ignore the hint of smoke that clung to him. Her body bucked against his and she relished the thick heat that brushed against her overly sensitized pussy. Shuddering with each pass, she continued to tempt herself with the tantalizing promise of his erection.

  And again, he indulged her. Gripping his cock, he pressed it against her folds, so slick with need she was still embarrassed, and he slid it back and forth. Every thickened vein and ridge of him made her tremble. Nothing had ever felt so good.

  She almost forgot to worry about the shirt and about needing to breathe and about every reason she was going to struggle with this. Almost.

  “That tight little pussy is needing to be fucked, isn’t it?” Jamie growled. He was too far gone to guard his words. Besides, the filthier he talked, the more ravenous she seemed to get. He never would’ve guessed Charlie would like dirty talk, but he should’ve. She was the most perfect woman alive.

  “Yes,” she was clawing his back now, completely unaware. Sexiest damn thing he’d ever felt, but he knew as soon as he sank himself balls deep inside of her nothing else would ever compare. “Please,” she whimpered out again.

  Girl was driving him wild. His prec
um leaked all over those tender auburn curls that reminded him to be gentle with her despite every ragged desire tearing through him that longed to make her ache with force.

  There hadn’t been a woman yet that he couldn’t get off with his tongue. It was a skill he’d honed. He knew when to suck and when to tease, when to let her feel the scratch of his beard and when to ease off and press her until she was clinging to the edge. But if that wasn’t what Charlie wanted, he was fine with it. Hell, it didn’t matter what she needed for him to own her pleasure, he’d do it. He was nothing if not adaptable.

  She jolted and moaned out his name with his next pass of his cock against her. He swore he could get off just listening to her say his name like that. Fuck. He had to get it together, or he was going to become the only Holder to ever wear the two-pump-chump crown.

  “Condom.” He bought himself a moment to think as he leaned up off of her, trying to get his head straight.

  But she linked her arms around his back preventing his movement. Girl was strong. She had to be in the field she’d chosen. Taking on the weight of full-grown men when they needed her help was a part of her job. “Pill,” she pled. “I’m on the pill. Just please.” She closed those gorgeous eyes. Her head shook back and forth against the pillow.

  “Please what, angel. Say it. Tell me you want my cum soaking down those tight walls, dripping down your thighs when I finish. Tell me you need me to defile that pussy, so sweet and innocent.”

  “Yes. God…yes. Please.” Her entire body was strung so tight, Jamie swore under his breath. With no more provocation than that, he sank himself a few inches into her warm, wet heaven. She was too tight for him to even move. The welcoming heat of her body licked at his cock. He wasn’t going to survive.

  “Jesus Christ, you feel incredible, honey. So damn good,” he grunted, “too fucking good.” He was in some kind of divine agony. He knew in that moment he’d never be able to go back to just being her friend. He’d always want this. He’d always want more.

  “Jamie,” she gasped. “I need…” her eyes flashed open begging him of their own accord.

  “Tell me, sugar. Say it, whatever it is.” Concentrating on what it was she was needing gave him a moment to gather his staying power, what little of it there was left anyway.

  She spread her legs further and coaxed him deeper inside. “Move,” she urged.

  He allowed himself another inch, maybe two. Her tender little pussy nursed at him now, tempting him. So fucking perfect. He met her on her next urgent buck, slamming inside of her. He hadn’t meant to use that much force, but he longed to tear away every ridiculous reason why this couldn’t be their forever.

  He knew she was a gift from the Good Lord. He’d always known that. But burying himself so deep in the atonement of his best friend was somehow more than holy. Like he was heaving every mistake he’d ever made onto some kind of sacred fount set for him alone, so she could wash him clean.

  Her body quaked with her need. She stared up at him. A thousand questions glimmered in her eyes like the stars in the endless Oklahoma sky. He vowed to himself to find the answer to every single one.

  There was nothing between them. It made this all the more holy. “Charlie, baby, this is incredible,” he tried to explain but there weren’t words. Words hadn’t yet been invented for the way he felt.

  “I know,” she choked. “Please don’t stop.”

  “Never fucking going to stop. Never,” he vowed as he sank himself in deeper with each pass. His cock was so sensitive he felt her clit swell against him. Holding himself up on one forearm he reached between them to stroke that swollen little nub so anxious for his attention.

  A choked scream from Charlie rattled in his ears. His roar of ownership met it in the darkness. She tightened like a bolt of ecstasy as he rutted on her like a wild beast. With every deep, hungry thrust, the bolt tightened until the agony in his balls was unbearable.

  “Come for me, angel,” he begged. “Fuck.” He shook with the desperate need to unload inside of her. Not yet. Leaving women unsatisfied was not something he did. Ever. He refused to count his teenage years, or to even acknowledge them.

  But his release surged through his veins hot and insistent. “Let it go for me,” he urged again. “Give it to me.” Nothing was working. She writhed and the word yes hung on her lips, but she also fought her own release. He wasn’t certain she was even aware she was doing it. Her pussy spasmed around him.

  And it was too late. He couldn’t stop it. Hot cum shot through him as he gripped her hips, slammed her against him so deep neither of them knew where he stopped and she began, and he filled her full.

  He rode her through every spurt as he unloaded, praying that maybe the motion would send her over. It didn’t work. Fuck.

  He collapsed back beside her and set to right his wrong. But when he reached for her, she stopped him. “That was amazing,” she insisted.

  “For me, yeah. But not for you. I’m so fucking sorry.”

  “Why are you sorry?”

  That seemed painfully obvious to Jamie, but apparently she was going to make him say it out loud. He squeezed his eyes shut and flipped through several curse words in his head. “You didn’t come,” he forced out between his teeth. “Here, let me…” he tried to reach between her legs again but she stopped him.

  “I know, but it was still amazing. I can’t ever do that with someone else. You were everything. It was so good I forgot to fake it. Thank you. But please promise this won’t change us. I can never lose you.”

  The terror that galloped through her voice brought him up short. “Back up just a minute. What do you mean you can’t ever do that?”

  Now, she was the one looking at him like he’d lost his mind. “I meant exactly what I said.”

  “You’ve never had an orgasm?”

  She shook her head. “I have them…you know…when I’m alone, just not when I’m with another person. It’s totally normal.”

  He weighed and tasted each word before he freed them from his lips. “It may be but that ain’t how it’s going to be between us. Tell me what’s different about when you’re alone. What do you think about then?”

  She turned the approximate shade of her hair. “No,” she defied. “And you can’t fix this. It’s fine. Seriously, being with you like that…it was everything. I’m sorry you didn’t like it.” Now, she was refusing to even look at him.

  He gripped her chin and forced her gaze back to his own. “Hear me, Charlie. I loved that. I loved every moment of it right up until I realized you hadn’t gotten off. That ain’t how it’s supposed to work. I want to figure this out. I want to fix it. Sorry if that’s not what you want to hear, but…” he trailed off, not certain what else to say.

  She brushed a kiss on his shoulder and then his neck. “If you’re determined to fix it, can we argue about it in the morning? I already know it can’t be fixed, but we’re both exhausted.”

  “How do you know? Did a doctor tell you that?” Jamie refused to let this go, if for no other reason than his certainty that he’d just blown the one chance he had to prove to her that they were meant to be.

  She brushed the hard angles of this cheeks and chin, trying to soften his scowl he assumed. “No, a doctor didn’t tell me that. But it’s my body, so I should know. I’m sorry you’re upset. It’s not your fault at all. I’m not fixable.”

  “Stop apologizing to me. I’m the one that’s supposed to be apologizing to you,” he huffed.

  “But you didn’t do anything wrong. It was amazing, like I said. I wish I could explain what that meant to me. I’m so afraid that it’s going to change us, though.”

  She laid her head on his chest and nuzzled her face against him. He wrapped his arms around her and tried to sort through the barrage of emotions now swamping his mind. It was going to change them. He wasn’t going to let her excuses or their families come between them anymore. He’d failed her in the past, and he was going to fix it.

  Chapter Fourteen<
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  In the early morning hours, long before the sun ever made an appearance, Jamie’s phone buzzed on the bedside table. He’d spent most of the night in debate over what to do next to convince Charlie that he was the man she’d needed all along. Even if he wasn’t that man right now, he would become anything she wanted. She just had to give him a chance.

  Keeping her cradled gently in his arms, he cleared his throat, answered the phone, and whispered a half greeting to Colt.

  “Sorry to wake you,” Colt sounded like he wasn’t any happier to be awake two hours before sunrise than Jamie felt. “There’s a small ranch about five miles west of ours. They were shipping early this morning. Trucks had just made it back to the main road when a couple of our bulls got through the fence. They ran out in front of the first truck. He slammed on the brakes and ended up jack-knifed. Truck behind that one hit the first. It’s a mess, and Mr. Clayton says he smells fuel. We could use some help. None of us know what to do. Those trucks are gonna go up in flames, and that’s all of their cattle for spring shipping. We’ve got to get the cattle off of those trucks.”

  Jamie eased himself away from Charlie without waking her. He made it to the living room before he spoke. “I’m on my way, but as long as the engine block doesn’t spark, the fuel isn’t going to ignite. We’ll get it taken care of. Any of the cattle hurt or just spooked?”

  “I don’t know yet, and it’s gonna be a bitch getting them off of there because they’re likely to run as soon as they’re free. I’ve got some fire extinguishers just in case.”

  “Good. Bring those, but unless you’ve got an FSI extinguisher that ain’t gonna do you a bit of good on a fuel burn.”

  “What is that?”

  “A foamer. Grab as many sandbags as you can get your hands on to go with those extinguishers. I’m betting moving the herds is gonna be more of a bitch than the fuel, though.”

  “I’ll get the sandbags we’ve got in the barn for flooding and pick you up in just a few.”