by Jess Bryant
“What about you, Kady?”
“What about me?” She feigned ignorance and watched Shane shake his head.
“Don’t you think it’s about time you got to be happy again too?”
Kady frowned at the question. It wasn’t what she’d thought he would ask. She’d thought Shane would ask if she was happy and she’d been fully prepared to lie and say that she was. But instead he’d asked her if she wanted to be happy again, and she knew without a doubt what he was getting at.
She bit her lips, “Shane, I don’t…”
“Excuse me.” A rough male voice spoke over her and she nearly jolted straight off the ground.
Nick was standing beside her suddenly. He was frowning at Shane. Shane frowned right back.
“What?”
“I’m cutting in.” Nick all but growled.
“Maybe you should ask Kady if that’s okay with her.” Shane raised a pointed eyebrow.
“Kady?” Nick turned his dark gaze on her and she was instantly caught in it.
She wanted to say no. She didn’t want to dance with him. She didn’t want to be near him. She didn’t want to have to talk to him and he’d want to talk if she let get close to her. But the glint in his eye was as good as a dare and she’d always been incapable of running from a challenge. She could do this. She could stop avoiding him for the three minutes a song would take and then she’d have proven to both of them that it was no use.
They were over.
“Fine.” Her voice came out low, practically a whisper, so she cleared her throat and tried again, “One dance.”
5
He’d thought he could do it. He really had. He’d thought that since Shane was his best friend, since Shane was a happily married man, since Shane had never thought of Kady as anything but a friend, that seeing Kady in his arms wouldn’t make him want to cut the other man’s hands off.
But he’d been wrong.
He’d never considered himself a violent man but he had honestly considered shoving Shane away from her when he hesitated to let Nick cut in. Hell, who was he kidding? From the moment Shane had taken her hand he’d wanted to gut his best friend and string him up from the rafters.
It was a damn good thing Nick hadn’t been around while Kady was dating other men. He scowled at the very thought of her with anyone else. If he hadn’t left, she never would have gotten that chance. His decision had cost him years with the woman he lived and he would regret it to his dying day.
He’d stood aside as long as he could. He’d known her friends were watching him and he hadn’t wanted to make a scene. But as the song came to a close, he knew that he couldn’t let the image of Kady in Shane’s arms be the last thing he saw tonight.
Still, he was shocked she’d actually agreed. Shocked and grateful. Even if she was just thinking to avoid a scene by giving in, it was more leeway than she’d allowed him since he came back to Fate for good.
Kady looked more resigned to his presence than excited so he didn’t dare do more than take her hand in his and set his other palm against her waist. She inhaled at the innocent touch and his heart picked up speed. Was it possible she was still that attuned to him, still that aware of the smallest contact?
God, he could only hope.
He kept a respectable distance between them and as the next song filtered through the speakers, he was pleased to note it was slow enough that he wouldn’t have to worry about two-stepping into someone because he was distracted trying to get his partner to talk to him. He got them onto the beat and pushed Kady across the dance floor in time with the music.
She didn’t look up at him, instead staring off just over his shoulder. He sighed as they made the first turn around the floor. He squeezed her hand in his and her blue eyes finally, finally, came back to his.
“So…” He tried to ease into a conversation that wouldn’t cut short this moment he had with her, “Girls night?”
“Yeah.”
The one-word response didn’t give him much hope but he persisted, “You girls go out often?”
“Every few weeks or so, when one of us needs to get away and let loose.”
“Oh yeah?” He raised an eyebrow even though she wasn’t looking at him, “Victoria needed to get away from Austin and the kids or something?”
Her blue eyes darted to his and he grinned. She rolled her eyes and his smile only grew. He could still tell when she wanted to laugh at one of his dumb jokes but was holding back so as not to let him think it was actually funny. He took that as a good sign.
They both knew that the reason she was out tonight was because of him. The girls had been gathered around her when he and Shane walked in and when they’d started towards them the others had quickly closed ranks to protect her. Kady had good friends. That pleased him even if he wanted to tell each and every one of them that he was the one that would do the protecting from here on out. He couldn’t, not yet, but he wanted to.
“Something like that.” She smirked.
“Seems like a good group of friends.”
“They are.”
He let them fall back into silence as he spun Kady out and pulled her back in. Their bodies moved together so naturally, as if they’d been doing this their whole lives. In a way, they had. Not even the years apart could erase the easy, natural way they fit together.
Kady shot him a look as he grinned and got them back on beat.
“So, you and Shane just happened to decide on a boy’s night, tonight, at the exact same bar me and the girls were at?”
“Seems like it.”
“Coincidence?”
“Happenstance? Luck?” He smirked, “Call it what you will.”
“Stalking?” She surprised him by raising an eyebrow and teasing him.
“It’s a small town, Kady. You had to know you couldn’t avoid me forever.”
She was silent for a moment and he cursed himself for not simply teasing her in return instead of pointing out the obvious. He had a small chance here, the length of a song, just a couple of minutes to prove to her he was worthy of a second chance. He knew jumping straight back into his apologies wasn’t what she wanted to hear. Not tonight. So, he tried to keep their conversation light.
“You do realize there’s only two bars in this town, right?”
“Fifty-fifty odds.” She sighed dramatically, “I knew I should’ve gone to the Roadhouse.”
He bit of a growl at the thought of his sweet, beautiful Kady hanging out at The Roadhouse. That backwoods biker bar was no place for her. It was full of cowboys and lowlifes, all of whom would be tripping over themselves to get their hands on his Kady. Just the thought of one of those bastards so much as laying a finger on her made Nick want to burn the old, rickety establishment to the ground.
“Not really your type of place.” He tried not to let his voice sound like his teeth were gritted.
“Says who?” Kady lifted her chin, mock offended.
“You used to hate the Roadhouse.”
“Used to was a long time ago Nick. Things change.”
“No. They don’t.” He shook his head.
“Yes, they do. I’ve changed. I’m not the girl you remember.”
“You are though.” He argued and she huffed as if his words weren’t true, “You’re still the same Kady I remember. The Kady that can befriend anyone, anywhere. That group of girls at the table couldn’t be more different if they tried but they’re all here, for you. You’re the one that holds them together. You’re the one that always held everyone together. That hasn’t changed.”
“Sure it has. I had to learn to let other people hold me together after you left.”
Nick felt her words like a kick in the chest but he hid his wince from her. It hurt, but he didn’t think that was why Kady had said it. No, she was too nice for that kind of low blow. Even now, even when he deserved it, she wasn’t trying to make him feel guilty for what he’d done. She was just pointing out the obvious, telling him the truth, just as she always
had.
“Connor took good care of you.” He admitted softly instead of going on the defensive and her brows furrowed when she glanced back up at him. “He was always protective of you, even though he was the little brother. I remembered him as the boy he was back then but that’s not who he is anymore. He’s a good man and I’m glad you had him to help fix what I broke.”
Kady bit her lip and looked away again, “If he was here, he never would have let you get close enough to ask me to dance.”
“Good thing he’s occupied with his own girl problems then huh?” He chuckled but Kady’s eyes swung back to his.
“He told you about that?”
“What?”
“His… girl problems?” Kady was looking at him with a shine of awe in her eyes and he hated to put it out but he shook his head.
“No. Not exactly. I just… well, we spend a lot of time together in that cruiser and he’s said some stuff. I know he’s at the reunion tonight and I just figured, he’s probably got his own shit to deal with if she’s there too.”
“Oh, she’s there.” Kady sighed. “I have no doubt that she’s there and not just there, but there with Connor’s best friend.”
He winced, “Ouch.”
“Yeah.”
“Poor kid.”
“He’s not a kid anymore though.” Kady shook her head, “He needs to grow up and get over the idea that she’s going to suddenly wake up one day and see that he’s the one that’s always been there for her. It’s a fairytale and he knows as well as I do that fairytales don’t come true.”
“Hey…” He brushed her hair back gently, “Don’t say that.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s… God, Kady, you used to be such an idealist.”
“I told you, things change.”
“My Kady believed in fairytales and happily ever after and if this Kady doesn’t, I’ll just have to make her believe again.”
Kady frowned but didn’t say anything. The song would be coming to an end soon and he knew that he was losing his chance with her. She would step out of his arms soon and he hadn’t really gotten the chance to talk to her yet. Not about the important stuff. He knew that tonight, here and now, on the dance floor of a bar wasn’t the place to get into all the ways he’d screwed up or why he wanted, no needed, a second chance, but this was as close as he’d been to Kady in years and he wanted to hold onto her for just a few minutes longer.
He pulled her closer as they swayed to the song and Kady stiffened slightly before relaxing again when he didn’t speak. His hand stayed laced with hers, his other on her hip. He didn’t dare try to feel her up, not that grabbing her ass in public had ever been his style but damn if he didn’t want to. He wanted to feel her, really feel her, but despite the fact that she was in his arms, Kady was still holding herself away from him.
The song drifted to its end and she pulled back slightly and looked up at him. Her blue eyes sparkled. Her lips curved into a small smile. And at that moment, she looked so much like the Kady he remembered, like his Kady, that it was the most natural thing in the world to reach up and brush her hair behind her ear.
“You’re so beautiful.”
As soon as the words escaped his mouth, he knew they were the wrong ones to say. Kady’s lips pursed and her eyes left his again as she moved away from his touch. She stiffened even further in his arms and he was only really surprised that she didn’t pull all the way away from him.
“Don’t.” She said softly.
“I’m sorry.” He sighed, “I know I don’t have any right to…”
“You’re right. You don’t have any right to anything when it comes to me. Not anymore.” She glanced back at him and the pain that glinted in those eyes he’d always been able to read so easily made him ache to heal all the hurt he’d caused. “But I hate things being this way between us so please, can we just… try to be friends again?”
“Friends?” He knew his eyebrows must have hit his hairline.
He hadn’t come back to Fate to be her friend. Not even close. He loved her. His heart ached without her. His soul felt broken in half. And he knew she felt the same way because he could still feel the electricity between them, could still see it in the way she looked at him, those looks that were hope mixed with disappointment and fear.
“You were my best friend, Nick. Before… everything else…”
“Kady.” He frowned but she shook his warning tone off.
“I can’t keep doing this.”
“Doing what?”
“Avoiding you.”
He snorted, “Then stop avoiding me and talk to me, Kady. Please. Give me a chance.”
“A chance to what?” She narrowed her eyes, “Break my heart again? Embarrass me in front of everyone I’ve ever known? Leave me broken and alone? That’s all I think about when you ask for another chance, Nick.”
He bit the inside of his cheek as pain slashed through his chest. He’d known he screwed up from the moment he left Fate and Kady behind. He’d stayed away because he hadn’t thought she’d accept him back but nearly dying had changed things for him. He wasn’t giving up just because she wanted to push him away to protect herself. It only made him want to try harder to prove to her that he was the man she remembered, from before he’d done something foolish and selfish. He was still the man that loved her and he’d prove it to her. He’d never expected it to be easy but he hated himself for the pain he’d taught Kady to expect from him.
“I’m sorry Kady.” His voice came out hoarse with emotion, “I am so so sorry for the pain I put you through and if I could go back in time, I’d turn that job in Dallas down and never leave your side. I made a mistake. A stupid, horrible, life ruining mistake. But I never stopped loving you. Not for one second of my life and I’m going to prove that to you.”
“Nick…” Her voice broke and she dropped her chin as she shook her head, hiding her face from him.
He stopped pretending to dance and pulled her to the side of the floor. He tipped her chin up and seeing the watery tears in her eyes felt like a punch in the gut. He tried to pull her closer, to hug her, to tell her that he was going to fix this, that he was going to fix them, but she resisted and shrugged out of his hold.
Kady wiped at her cheeks furiously, “I want to believe you so bad.”
“Then believe me. Please, baby…”
“I can’t. Not yet. But I want to.”
“I’ll wait. I’ll wait until you can believe me. I promise. I told you that I’m back. I’m here for you and I’m not going anywhere, not ever again. I love you and I’m not giving up on us.”
Kady stared at him for a long moment. The flash of tears made her blue eyes silver and the liquid clung to her lashes. Her bottom lip quivered and he ached to reach out and smooth his thumb over the smooth curve and reassure her. But she didn’t want his touch, not yet, and he had to respect that.
He didn’t have any rights to her. Not anymore. Not to her body or her heart. She wasn’t his but she would be again, someday, soon, because he knew that she loved him too. She was just scared. He understood that. He’d been scared too when he decided to come home and face her. But seeing her had only confirmed what he’d always known.
This was where he belonged. Not Fate. Not in this small town. He belonged at Kady’s side, wherever that was, wherever she was, that was his home.
“I’m sorry Nick. I can’t forgive you. Not yet.”
“Don’t you apologize to me, Kady. Not ever. I’m the one that apologizes. I’m the one that will spend the rest of my life apologizing to you and making up for what I did, because I love you, babe. Always have and always will.”
Her bottom lip trembled again but she gave a small nod, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?” A small flare of hope filled his chest and he knew it showed on his face when she gave a reluctant sigh.
“I expect lunch.”
“I’ll be there.” He promised.
She nodded again
and then sighed and turned and walked away. He let her go even though everything inside of him ached to go after her. He’d told her that he wouldn’t give up and she’d finally given an inch in return. Lunch. Tomorrow. It was something. It was start.
A new start to their forever.
6
Kady chewed on one of her fingernails and looked at the clock. It was almost noon. Just a few more minutes and she knew that the elevator down the hallway would ding, the doors would slide open and Nick would be there.
He’d be dressed in his awful khaki uniform. He’d be holding a bag of food from the diner. And he’d be wearing the soft, hopeful smile that was slowly wearing down her restraint.
She hated the way her heart sped at just the thought of him but there was no stopping her reaction to Nick. There never had been. Not when she’d been a little girl, not when she’d been a teenager madly in love and not even now, when she knew that opening up even a crack in her armor would let him back inside where he could hurt her all over again.
“Stop chewing on your nails.” Holly admonished as she returned to the nurse’s station and hip checked Kady back into reality. “That’s a really disgusting habit. You’re basically eating the germs from whatever you touched last.”
“Considering that we wash our hands about a billion times a day, I doubt I’ll die of some horrible disease.” She didn’t bother taking her finger away from her lips.
“So just dead skin cells then. Sexy.”
She stuck her tongue out at her best friend and collapsed into the chair beside her behind the nurse’s station. She sighed heavily and Holly shot her a sideways look as she entered a patient’s information into the system. She waited until Holly finished and then sighed again, making her friend laugh.
“Oh my God. Really?” Holly shook her head with laughter, “Ok. Fine. I take the bait. What’s wrong, Kady?”
“Nick.”
Holly dramatically put her hand to her chest and gasped in mock horror, “Oh dear, what a shock.”
“Shut up.” Kady managed as she tried to hide her own smile.
