by Jess Bryant
“I…” Her voice broke and she cleared it and forced back the flash of tears, “I didn’t think…”
“What?” He asked softly when she trailed off and she glanced over to see his brows furrowed, “That I wouldn’t remember?”
She shrugged and he sighed, a flash of hurt crossing his face before he shook it away.
“I remember everything too, Kady. Everything. And that’s exactly what I’m going to give you this time.”
Kady bit her lip but nodded at the promise in his voice. She couldn’t find the words. She wasn’t sure what to say. He remembered their first date all those years ago. He’d recreated the night to show her that he remembered, that he cared. He was promising her everything she’d always wanted and she didn’t trust herself not to tell him she loved him all over again so she only nodded.
Nick gave her a soft, knowing smile, “So, I just have one question for you now?”
“What’s that?” She managed.
“Chocolate or vanilla ice cream this time?”
She laughed at one of their oldest debates. Nick preferred chocolate. She preferred vanilla. She always, always won, because he always, always gave in. Only this time, she didn’t just want to win. She wanted them to work together so she met his eyes and smiled when she shook her head, offering a compromise.
“Make it a swirl.”
9
He was winning her over. Nick was sure of it. Over the last week, he’d made actual progress with Kady and he knew they were on the verge of getting back to the way things used to be. No, that wasn’t right. He didn’t want things to go back to the way they used to be. They were both older and wiser now. He knew the mistakes he’d made. He knew the pain he’d put Kady through. He didn’t want them to go back to things like they’d been before, when he hadn’t known what it was like to lose her, to live without her. He wanted things between them to be better than they’d ever been when he finally got her back in his arms.
And he was almost there.
She’d let him take her out on a date finally. He’d wooed her with a recreation of the first date they’d had as teenagers. A drive-in movie, shared ice cream cones and cuddling under the stars. She’d gone along with all of that. She’d even let him kiss her on her front porch before she said goodnight and went inside. That had been almost a week ago and now he was about to pick her up for their second official date. He’d wanted to take her out the night after their first date but she’d switched shifts with one of the other nurses so her friend could go to her kids’ t-ball game. She’d ended up working nights for nearly a week because of it but that was just Kady. His sweet, selfless Kady who would do anything for her friends. He hadn’t seen her those nights but he’d still gone to the hospital and taken her food, dinner instead of lunch which had seemed to both surprise her and soften her towards him even further. When he’d asked when he could take her out again, she’d offered her only night off up for grabs and he’d done exactly that.
He had big plans for them tonight. If Kady had been impressed with his idea of recreating their first date, he couldn’t wait to see her reaction when she saw where he was taking her tonight. It was a risky plan, one that might ultimately backfire in his face as his almost future brother in law had been quick to point out, but Nick had to hope that the progress he and Kady had been making meant that she was ready to let him back in, for real.
At exactly seven he rang the doorbell and waited impatiently on the front step when he heard her call out that she was coming. He tried not to think about how this house had once been theirs, together. He couldn’t let himself think about that, just like he couldn’t let himself think about why it was that she had yet to invite him inside. He understood her need to take things slow, to learn to trust him again before she let him into her heart, or her home, but still the thought of not being allowed into the home that should have been theirs twisted his guts into knots.
Had she changed the space? Made it her own? Wiped out every trace of him? He couldn’t blame her if she had. She’d had every right, but still it made him slightly nauseous to think of her having other men over to her home during the time he’d been away, other men in their house, in their bedroom, in their bed.
The door swung open and all of his doubts faded away when Kady smiled at him as she pushed out the screen door. She absolutely took his breath away. It didn’t matter to him if all she ever wore was her hospital scrubs or sweats, she’d still be the most beautiful girl in the world to him. But seeing her like this, all dressed up and looking pretty as could be, for him, made his heart lurch and the urge to kiss her downright impossible to ignore.
“Hey, I thought…” She started but he cut her off with his mouth on hers.
Kady let out a squeak of surprise but didn’t pull away. Thank God. Nick slid his fingers into her hair, pulling her closer as his mouth ate as hers. Kady opened for him when his tongue lapped at her bottom lip and he stroked deep. She tasted so good. She always had. Like minty toothpaste and something sugary sweet. She tasted like his. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he backed her up against the house, using his body to pin her in place as the kiss turned wild and ragged.
He wanted her. Hell, he always wanted her. And he knew she wanted him too. The sparks between them were still there, still licking at his skin and threatening to burn him alive with the need she made course through his veins. But, a little voice in the back of his mind reminded him, this wasn’t just about want. He and Kady had never been just about want. He’d needed her. She made him whole. They were more than just frantic, hot, passionate sex. They’d been that too. And he definitely wanted them to be that again. But he didn’t want them to go there until he was certain Kady wouldn’t regret it afterwards. And as of right now, no matter how she moaned into his mouth or stroked her fingers through his hair, he couldn’t be certain.
Nick eased back from the kiss slowly. Kady gasped when he let go of her mouth. Her eyes were wide, the pupils blown, and her lipstick was smeared, her mouth swollen from the weight of his kiss. She was breathing hard, just like he was, and they simply stared at one another for a long moment. He saw the moment Kady came back to her senses, realizing they had been all but making out on her front porch where anyone driving by could have seen them. Her cheeks flushed a pretty pink and she tried to duck her head away from him but he wouldn’t let her.
He caught her chin with his hand and tipped her head back up, “Kady…”
“We shouldn’t have… not here… and…”
“Kady.” He softened his voice, hushing her with a whispered sound, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. Not here and not yet. Not until you told me you wanted it. You look so damn pretty I just… I lost my mind a little bit, okay? I’m sorry.”
He watched her throat work as she swallowed and she glanced up at him from beneath her lashes, “You’re not the only one that lost your mind a little bit, Nick.”
“You saying I drive you as crazy as you drive me?” He leaned down just enough to tilt their foreheads together and smiled.
To his relief, Kady smiled too, “You know you do. You always have.”
“And you’re worried we don’t still have things in common.” He kissed the end of her nose playfully and forced himself to pull back, “In case that mauling didn’t get my point across, here are the words. You look beautiful tonight Kady and I want you so bad it physically hurts to look at you. But I’ll wait until you’re ready. I’ll wait forever if you need me to. I just want to be with you. I want to spend time with you. I want to laugh and smile and love you for the rest of my life. You don’t have to say you want that too. Not yet. Just know that’s what I’m shooting for, okay? I don’t just want a kiss or a night in your bed. I want us, together, forever, the way it always should’ve been.”
Kady stared up at him, looking shell-shocked and well-kissed. Her eyes looked glassy though whether that was from his kiss or his words he couldn’t be sure. She started to open her mouth to say something but
her bottom lip trembled slightly and she ended up biting it to steady herself.
He cupped her face, “It’s okay, baby. You don’t have to say anything. Let’s just go.”
Kady nodded and he took her hand and led her to his truck. He knew he’d hit her with a lot already but he wasn’t backing down. Their previous date had been emotional in that it reminded her of their first date. Well, this one was going to be even more emotional because he intended to recreate the night of the first time he’d asked her to marry him.
Maybe he was pushing too hard, too fast, but he’d never know unless he pushed a little so he was taking a chance and putting it all on the line tonight.
“Where are we going?” Kady asked when they got into the truck, making him smile because she’d rebounded easily enough and was asking exactly what he’d known she would.
“The carnival.” He grinned, freely giving up the answer.
Kady laughed but when he didn’t she slowly trailed off, “Oh, you’re serious.”
“Serious as a heart attack.” He winked.
“We’re really going to the carnival?”
“Yes, Kady, we’re really going to the carnival.” He did laugh now because her disbelief was adorable.
“Nick?”
“Yeah?” He glanced over as he made the turn out of her neighborhood back onto the road that led through town.
“You do realize that we’re grown adults now, right? We’re not silly kids and we don’t weight eighty pounds soaking wet. We’re also smart enough to know that those rides they tear down and put up in the span of a day in the parking lot of the old factory can’t possibly be safe.”
“Yeah. I’m aware of all of that.” He tried to hide his grin.
“Yet we’re still going to the carnival?”
“Yep.” He popped the p on the word and stifled a laugh when she only looked at him as if she was crazy.
When they pulled into the parking lot where the carnival was set up, he purposefully parked in the furthest spot from the rides and lights and sounds. Kady gave him a suspicious look but he only shrugged and told her his truck was new and he didn’t want any kids dinging it, which was true enough. He held her hand as he led her into the park, paying for the tickets and assuring her he didn’t expect her to ride any of the small but dangerous roller coasters. Instead he led her over to the line of games and grinned when he picked up the baseball to throw at the empty milk bottles.
“Ah, now I see what’s going on.” Kady smirked.
“Yeah?”
“Uh huh. You brought me here to try and impress me with your athletic prowess like you did back in high school.”
Nick chuckled, “You caught me. Now back up and watch me work.”
For the rest of the night, they had a blast playing games and winning prizes. He missed the big prize on baseball toss and Kady ribbed him endlessly about losing his touch. Luckily, he made up for it in ring toss, winning her a huge teddy bear that was too big for her to carry around. He hauled the thing over his back and they went on. They competed against each other in the water gun horse race game and Kady just barely edged him out for second place, swearing he’d let her even though a ten-year-old took first place. He played darts, popping three balloons in a row to win a medium size prize and this time Kady smartly picked something smaller, a little stuffed snake that she wrapped around her neck like a boa. They laughed and talked and laughed some more. And when the park finally announced they were getting ready to close for the night; he bought them a big bag of cotton candy and took Kady’s hand as they headed for his truck.
“That was so much fun.” She leaned her head on his shoulder as they walked.
“I’m glad you thought so.” He kissed the top of her head and squeezed her hand.
“I can’t remember the last time I just let go like that, just acted like a kid with no worries in the world. It was kind of nice.”
“It was nice, and you should get to do that more often. You don’t have to take care of everyone all the time anymore, Kady.”
She sighed, “I know. It’s just a hard habit to break. Stressed is like my body’s default. It’s been that way since mom…”
“I know baby.” He rubbed her back as he guided her towards the truck through the mostly empty parking lot. “That’s why tonight isn’t over yet.”
“It’s not?” Kady tilted her head to look up at him.
“Nope.” He shifted the giant panda, “Hold this for a second, would you?”
Kady took it, complaining about the gigantic stuffed toy as he moved around his truck. She was still complaining and clearly blinded by the thing in front of her face because even after he rolled back the cover on the bed of his truck, she gave no reaction. He snorted and took the stupid bear from her.
“Ta-da.”
“Oh my God.” Kady gasped, her now free hands going to her mouth, “When did you do this? I was with you all night?”
“I did it before I picked you up. You just couldn’t see it because I had the cover pulled over it. What do you think?”
He’d transformed his truck bed into their own private bedroom. Big, comfy blankets covered the floor and equally big pillows were stacked against the back window of the cab of the truck. There was a cooler in one corner filled with wine, beer and water. He’d even included a little bag of snacks.
“Nick.” Kady spun to face him, her eyes watery with tears, “It’s perfect. It’s looks just like…”
“Just like the night I took you to the carnival and then we went mudding out in the woods. We spent the night together cuddled in blankets looking up at the stars and I knew right then that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you Kady.”
“Oh, Nick.” She threw herself into his arms, burying her face against his chest and he caught her, holding her tight.
“I still want that, baby. I still want you and the life we planned together. I thought maybe if I reminded you…”
Kady pulled back and wiped at her cheeks where a few tears had spilled over, “I don’t need reminding Nick. I never forgot. You did.”
Her words cut him like a knife to the chest and he felt tears in his own eyes, “I know and I’m so sorry for that. I know I hurt you. I know I ruined us. I know nothing I can say will ever make up for the pain I put you through but Kady… I love you. I’ve always loved you. I want to spend my life with you and I don’t want to take a single minute of it for granted. I’ll make you so happy if you let me. I swear I will.”
Kady wiped at her cheeks again, “Nick… I… I want us to have that too just…”
“You need more time?”
“Yes. No. I don’t know.” She threw her hands in the air, “Can we just lay here, under the stars, together for tonight? This has been such a great night. You made me forget about all the bad stuff, all the stuff that makes me worry and stresses me out. You did that for me. Please, just… don’t ruin it now.”
It hurt hearing that she didn’t want to talk about it, about them, not yet, but Nick knew from her tears and from her reaction that she wanted the same things he did. He knew she did. So instead of pushing her for more, he accepted her compromise yet again and helped her up into the bed of the truck. He pushed the giant panda in beside her and then crawled in as well, using the damn thing as a pillow as he lay back to look at the stars.
Kady scooted over beside him, taking his hand and twining their fingers togethers. She lifted her head and kissed him softly, sweetly, and with all the love she couldn’t tell him about just yet. He kept the touch soft and intimate and when she pulled back, he brushed a hand through her hair and just looked at her for a long moment. She smiled again, that soft reassuring smile of hers that had always told him everything was going to be okay, and then she put her head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and they lay there like that for a really long time. Together. Quiet. Just enjoying a moment of peace where they could just be them again.
10
Kady might as well have sucker stamp
ed on her forehead. That was what her brother had told her. Connor had told her she was an idiot when he found out she was dating Nick again. He’d roared and yelled and told her she was only setting herself up for more heartbreak but in the end, he’d simply hugged her and told her that he hoped he was wrong.
He was a good brother but she hoped he was wrong too.
So far, he had been.
So far, Nick had done nothing but convince her he was real.
In the last week, she’d let him take her out three more times. Three more dates. Three more chances for him to show her that he was still the man that she’d fallen in love with all those years ago.
And he had.
He’d been sweet and charming. He’d reminded her of all the good memories they’d shared. She’d remembered all the reasons she’d fallen in love with him as a girl. And they’d made new memories as well.
Spending time with him, she’d remembered how he could be serious and thoughtful but that he also had a sense of humor that never failed to make her laugh. Dad jokes. He’d told those silly, ridiculous dad jokes even when he’d been a kid himself. She’d fallen in love with that side of him and spent so long yearning for the day they would have a family and he would be a father.
Nick would make such a good father.
“Kady?” His deep voice pulled her out of her thoughts and she blinked, taking a moment to remember where they were, and when.
On her front porch, their front porch really. They’d bought this house together and when Nick had left, she’d never found the time or the strength to change the paperwork. The swing that he’d hung on the corner the day they’d moved in was where they’d sat down to talk when he’d brought her home from dinner.
She hadn’t been ready to invite him inside. Even now, she was scared to let him in. All the memories in that house, memories of the life they could have had, the one he’d set aside like a book and then come to pick back up years later, as if nothing had happened to make her reconsider finishing their story.
