A Cockney's Journey

by Eddie Allen

  “Morning, Eddie, bit parky this morning, isn’t it, lad?” he informed me, as if I was totally oblivious to the poxy weather.

  “Yeah, it’s atrocious. Mind you, it could be worse,” I said conversationally.

  “You’re probably right there, Ed. I’ve finished in this street. Fancy a lift up to the market?”

  “Yeah, Cheers, Bob,” I said, tiptoeing across, trying not to slip on the icy road. I jumped into the milk float, thinking what a nice bloke Bob was; a totally inoffensive guy and always smiling.

  “Save your plates for the day ahead,” Bob said, while pulling away from the kerb and heading up Lyndhurst Way.

  Blimey! I could walk faster than this contraption.

  We slowly moved towards our destination. And I mean slowly!

  “Who you got today?” Bob asked.

  “Away to Swindon, Should stuff them,” I said confidently. “What about your lot, Bob?”

  “Carlisle at home. We haven’t won in fifteen games, so I don’t hold out much hope,” he said frowning.

  Now, for some unknown reason, Bob supported Bradford Park Avenue, the worst football team in the country. They would soon be relegated into oblivion. Why Bob followed them, I haven’t a clue; they were thrashed every week. Not like my super-hoops. QPR were lying second in Division Two, Nailed-on certs for promotion. The conversation on football dried up rapidly as we approached the market gates.

  “Thanks a lot, Bob, that was really kind of you, mate.”

  “No problem, son, don’t work too hard, will ya?” he said jokingly.

  “Not a chance, Bob,” I said, running into the market.

  “Morning, Toby,” I said as I strolled past the butcher’s.

  “And a good morning to you, young man,” he called, tipping his hat in my direction. I ran round the back of Laurie’s. My cap and coat were hanging on a nail. I quickly put my coat on and stuffed the cap on my nut.

  “Morning, Laurie,” I said, all cheerfully while walking through to the shop front.

  “Nice and early again, Ed. You do amaze me for a youngster.”

  “Why’s that, Laurie?”

  “Well, kids today don’t like getting out of bed. Mind you, you’re definitely an exception; you’ve never been late at all,” he smiled.

  After our short conversation, I started to arrange the fruit display, lining up cucumbers like torpedoes, filling up the tomato trays and emptying bags of King Edwards. After I finished, Laurie asked me to sweep the shop through, which I duly obliged.

  “Soon as Candy gets here, Ed, we’ll have breakfast.”

  “Yeah, that’s fine, Laurie.”

  I hoped she would hurry up. I was starving.

  Candy eventually turned up and Laurie and I went for breakfast down the market café. I enjoyed a hearty meal consisting of eggs, bacon, tomatoes and beans with two rounds of toast, followed by a large glass of Coke. I was stuffed and extremely satisfied with my breakfast.

  “That’ll keep us going for the rest of the day,” Laurie said happily, stroking his stomach with both hands in a circular fashion. We left the café and made our way back to the shop with a takeaway tea for Candy.

  During the morning, I was stacking crates of bananas in the rear of the shop when I noticed Laurie and Candy staring at me, watching my every move.

  “You didn’t think we would forget, Ed?” Candy mentioned, with a big grin on her face. Laurie was standing next to her smiling and holding a bag. I gazed blankly at both of them, wondering what the hell they were chatting about. My puzzled look startled them.

  “Well?” Candy said.

  “Well what?” I said, all confused.

  “Pass me that calendar, Candy,” Laurie asked, holding out his hand. He flipped the pages. “I wrote it down on here somewhere,” he reckoned. “Here we are, I knew I’d written it down, Look.” he shoved the calendar in front of Candy’s face.

  “That’s right, fifteenth of February,” she chimed. “Happy birthday, Eddie!”

  I was gobsmacked; fucking hell, I’d forgotten my own birthday!

  “Here you are Ed, Just a small token of our thanks,” he handed me a bag and inside was a card with a lovely written inscription. I then pulled out a present wrapped in blue paper, slowly unwrapping the paper until my eyes nearly popped at the sight of a blue and white hooped QPR top.

  I was flabbergasted, completely shell-shocked! I stood staring at the shirt in amazement.

  “Do you like it?” Laurie said smiling. “You can thank Candy. It was her suggestion to get you that. I was going to get something completely different.”

  I was absolutely speechless. I didn’t know what to say.

  “Lost your tongue, Eddie?” Candy said, laughing. “What do ya think of my choice of pressie?” She walked over and, putting her arms around my neck, she planted a kiss on my cheek. “Happy birthday,” she whispered in my ear. I felt my eyes well up and a large tear rolled down my cheek, splashing on the floor.

  “Thank you both, very much. That’s the best birthday present I’ve ever had.” I said, holding up my new top.

  The rest of the day flew by. It was five o’clock when the guy in the china shop opposite turned his radio up. I was filling up the spuds at the front of the shop, straining my ears listening to the radio.

  “Chelsea 3 Arsenal 2, Liverpool 1 Everton 1, Leeds United 2 West Ham 1…” The presenter started to read the results from Division Two. “Blackpool 0 Bolton 0, Millwall 2 Crystal Palace 1, Leicester City 1 Derby County 1, Swindon Town 0 QPR 4.”

  I jumped with joy, dropping potatoes all over the place. I was picking up the spuds when I faintly heard, “Carlisle United 5 Bradford Park Avenue 0.” Poor old Bob, I thought. I went to the rear of the shop, my face beaming.

  “Won again, have they?” Laurie asked, not looking all that surprised.

  “Yeah 4-0, Not bad, eh? Derby drew so we’re top now,” I boasted. “Do you mind if I go and see Clare for five minutes, Laurie?”

  “No, not at all, Eddie,” he assured me. I left the shop and quickly walked in the direction of Clare’s. The overhead doorbell jingled as I entered the shop.

  “Hello Eddie, We were just talking about you,” Clare said. She was sitting in the corner drinking tea with Rose.

  “How’s my favourite birthday boy, then?” Rose asked, grinning. She looked really well.

  “Surviving,” I smiled, thinking that this was not the time or the place to tell Rose about Tyzak or anything else.

  “Would you like some tea, Eddie?” Clare asked softly.

  “I’d love one, thanks.”

  The familiar burning smell of lavender and jasmine joss sticks will always remind me of Clare’s shop. The sheer ambience of the place filled me with inner peace. I took a deep breath as I sat next to Rose.

  “Here we are.” Clare handed me a mug of steaming tea. I stretched out, retrieving the mug.

  “Cheers, Clare,” I said, taking a sip of tea. The liquid slid down my throat, making me heave. I coughed loudly and I wanted the spit the rest out. I just couldn’t insult Clare’s kindness. It tasted vile but I can’t explain what the taste was, just that it was horrible!

  “How’s the tea, Eddie?” Rose asked. Well, if I told you it tasted awful, Clare would probably be offended, I thought to myself.

  “Different, what is it?” I asked trying not to give away my disgust with the wrong facial expressions.

  “Herbal. It’s good for your system, Eddie.”

  Really? I’d rather drink castor oil and, believe me, if I had the choice I would.

  “Yeah, it’s OK,” I said, forcing another mouthful down my neck, trying not to throw up. I took the final mouthful from the mug, sighing with relief that my ordeal was over. I must remind myself never to accept Clare’s offer of tea again. Lovely woman that she is, I just couldn’t face that crap again.

  “That was nice, cheers Clare,” I lied, cursing myself.

  “There’s more in the pot if you fancy another cup, Ed?” she asked.


  You’re having a laugh. The first cup nearly killed me and a second would definitely wipe me out for good.

  “No, thanks, I’ve got to get back to the shop soon. Thanks for the offer though.” I stood up browsing around the shop. I picked up this funny-shaped crystal, giving it the once over. “This is nice, Rose, What is it?”

  “An amethyst stone, believed to bring the holder good fortune. It’s actually your birthstone. Aquarians use it when meditating.”

  Really, I thought. Give me a barrow full; I need all the luck I can get at the moment.

  “How much is this, Clare?” I enquired.

  She walked over to a stand in the corner. “You can have this, Eddie.” She picked up an amethyst stone hanging on a thin leather neckband and placed it over my head.

  “Thanks very much Clare, It’s beautiful.” I said with a big smile.

  “You’re welcome. Call it your birthday present, Eddie.”

  Rose bent down, pulling a small parcel from under her chair. “This is for you, Eddie. I hope it serves you well, happy birthday!”

  She handed over the parcel and I slowly unwrapped it, full of anticipation and excitement.

  What could it be? I’d never seen anything like it before.

  Rose must have read my mind instantly. “It’s a North-American Indian dream-catcher, Eddie. Hang it on your headboard over your head. The American Indians are very spiritual; they believe all your bad dreams will be filtered through the dream-catcher, thus allowing only good dreams to penetrate the catcher. Indian shamans swear by them.”

  “That’s amazing, Rose, Will it stop him?”

  “Stop who?” Clare asked, intrigued.

  “Never you mind, Clare. I will explain later,” Rose glanced at me, looking uncertain. “It should restrict him,” she said hopefully.

  “What’s a shaman, Rose?” I asked curiously.

  “A witch doctor.”

  “Oh, I see. Like an Indian medicine man?”

  “Yeah, sort of,” Rose replied.

  “I must get back to the shop, Rose. Thanks for the present. I’ll see you soon. Bye, Clare. Cheers for the necklace. See you next week,” I said waving goodbye to both of them.

  I legged it back to the shop. Laurie was serving this couple as I entered the front of the shop. “That’ll be two and six, sir,” Laurie said, handing them their bag of vegetables.

  “Thanks! See you next week,” the customer replied after paying.

  “You can go early, Ed, seeing as it’s your birthday.”

  “Thanks, Laurie, see you Saturday.” I put my football top on under my jumper. I looked round the shop. No Candy, I thought. Wondering where she was, I left the market making my way home. The weather had deteriorated for the worst. The pavement and roads were already beginning to freeze over as the temperature plummeted drastically. My God, you could freeze to death in this, I thought, as I moved quickly down Lyndhurst Way. Halfway down the street, I noticed a car with its bonnet up under a street lamp. As I got closer, it was obvious whose wheels it was. Candy was bending over the engine looking distraught and puzzled, calling her car a wanker! She was dressed for summer, not a freezing cold February evening.

  She glanced across the road from under the bonnet towards the sound of my footsteps.

  “Eddie,” she cried, looking at me with those big blue eyes pleadingly. “Please help me,” she begged.

  Now, I’m a complete sucker when it comes to the opposite sex, especially long-legged gorgeous blondes. Well, I mean, she’s the damsel in distress and I’m her knight in shining armour! I can dream can’t I?

  “What’s the problem, Candy?” I asked, crossing the road, approaching her knackered car.

  “The bloody thing just died on me,” she said, all confused. I stood by her side staring at the engine. The street lamp was giving off a substantial amount of light. Seeing the engine wasn’t a problem, sussing out what was wrong was another story.

  “Do you know anything about cars, Eddie?” Candy looked at me, hoping my answer would be yes.

  “Well, as it happens I do a bit. I’ve helped my mate Tony’s dad a few times.” I was scanning the engine with eager eyes, hoping I could see where the problem was.

  “What do you think? Can you fix it?” she asked, shivering.

  “Sit in the car Candy while I have a look. Try and keep yourself warm, I’ll do my best to get it going for you.”

  Candy sat in the driver’s seat huddled up. I was twiddling about with wires and cables, looking for a sign. My hands were freezing. I started to rub my hands together, trying to bring back a bit of feeling to them when I noticed a cable hanging down. On further inspection, I realised the distributor lead had worked its way loose. What a touch! She’s going to think I’m a genius. I stood back from the car with my hands on my hips.

  “Got any tools in the boot, Candy?” I asked.

  Candy hung her head out the window. “Yeah, there’s a little box with bits in.”

  I opened the boot and retrieved the box of tools. Carrying them around to the front of the motor, I opened the toolbox and fished about inside. She wasn’t joking about bits. Bloody hell, what a load of crap! Good job I don’t need any. This will do. I fished out a roll of insulating tape and a small penknife. Bending under the bonnet, I pulled the cable up. Using the knife, I opened up the brass connectors on the end and, scraping all the shit off, I pushed the cable back into the distributor cap. What a nice tight fit it was. I then wrapped insulating tape around the end. I stood back, dropping the bonnet shut. Candy was peering out of the windscreen with a desperate but hopeful look on her face. I pulled out a fag, struggling to light it. On the tenth attempt it clicked into action.

  “Well, Eddie, any joy?” Candy asked softly, expecting bad news.

  I took a long hard drag on my fag thinking, this is it! Blowing out a cloud of smoke, I told her to turn the engine over. She turned the ignition, nothing. Again she tried and again nothing. Oh shit. I’ve made myself look a complete plum. I stood next to the driver’s window. I could smell petrol.

  “You’ve flooded it,” I said disappointingly.

  “What do you mean, Eddie?” she asked all worried.

  “Too much wellie on the accelerator, Candy.” I tried to explain to her that when you start a car you shouldn’t pump the accelerator so much because you over fill the carburettor with fuel.

  “What now?” she asked.

  “Leave it for a while.” I walked round the car and, opening the passenger door, I jumped in. “Give it a few minutes and try again, alright?”

  “Sorry, Ed,” she said. We both sat there freezing, my nose started to run, it was so cold. Candy looked at me with those beautiful eyes. “Thanks for being here, Eddie. I would have been really scared on my own.”

  “Don’t worry, Candy. It will start, I promise,” I said confidently.

  “I know it’s your birthday, Eddie. I will definitely make it up to you.”

  “No problem, Candy, Now give it whirl and don’t touch the accelerator.”

  She turned the key in the ignition. The engine span round, firing life into the old beast. Coughing and spluttering and kicking out smoke, she was somehow running. The sound of T-rex flooded the car from Candy’s eight-track cartridge.

  “You’re a bloody marvel, Eddie, I could kiss you to death.” she said, all excited.

  Don’t let me stop you!

  To my surprise she turned round and putting her arms around my neck she planted a lovely smacker on my lips, holding me very tight. For those few seconds, I was in heaven. I wanted this moment to last for eternity. Unfortunately, it couldn’t. She pulled her lips from mine, smiling. Her eyes were shining like a beacon. My God, she enjoyed that, I thought to myself. Nah, I must be imagining it. She’s twenty-two and I’m only fifteen. Candy looked at me, stroking my cheek with her hand.

  “You really are such a sweet guy, Eddie, Story of my life,” she said sighing. Now that statement had me totally confused. What did she mea
n story of my life. I wondered if I should ask her what she meant.

  The car started to warm up as the heater slowly started to blow warm air from the struggling engine. Candy was staring at me, trying to say something. I got the impression she wanted to speak but was having trouble saying what was on her mind. I felt nervous so I decided to break the silence.

  “Well, that’s you sorted out Candy. I must go now; I’m meeting a few friends soon. Don’t forget, go easy on the pedal,” I said smiling. I opened the passenger door, putting my left leg on the floor. I was just about to pull myself out of the car when Candy called my name. I turned round, looking into her eyes; I saw that she had a small tear forming.

  “What’s wrong, Candy?” I asked confused.

  “Nothing, Eddie, Thanks for being a star.” She leant over and kissed me again. “Take care and I’ll see you soon.” I pulled myself out of the car, waved goodbye and walked home. Candy sat there for a while before driving away. It wasn’t until years later that I found out that Candy had fallen in love with me while working at her dad’s shop. Our paths would cross one more time when I was in my twenties, as you will find out later.

  I turned off Lyndhurst Way to walk down my street. Walking towards me and waving were Karen, Lyn and Spud Murphy, looking absolutely frozen.

  “Bloody hell, Karen, I told you he wasn’t dead.” Spud said jokingly.

  “Where have you been, Eddie? Haven’t seen you in yonks,” Karen said, putting her arms around me and giving me a welcoming hug. I stood there explaining about my Saturday job, my old man and school. After I finished telling them everything, Karen asked me if I’d seen Ann lately.