Down & Dirty: Books 1-3: Dirty Angels MC Series Box Set

by St. James, Jeanne

  She inhaled a breath and whispered, “Am I?”

  Something flashed behind his eyes. Pain? Regret? Anger? Whatever it was, she couldn’t worry about that now. She wanted to know about Jazz.

  She whispered her name.

  Hawk’s eyes darkened and he shook his head. “Down the hall.” He twisted enough to grab the chair and drag it closer to the bed. He sat on the edge of the seat, grabbing her hand that didn’t have the IV and raising it to his lips. His mouth skimmed across her skin but she could hardly feel it. She must be on some really, really good stuff.

  “Morphine?”

  His eyes raised to hers. “Yeah.”

  “She okay?”

  Kiki watched his Adam’s apple lift then fall as he swallowed hard. That was telling.

  “Gonna be. Might take a while.”

  “Hawk...” She closed her eyes to fight against the picture that played in her mind of Jazz laying on the dirty floor with the Warriors over her...

  “Don’t fuckin’ say it,” he growled. “’Cause if I hear it, I’m gonna freak the fuck out an’ I need to be by your side right now. Not chasin’ those motherfuckers down. They’ll get their due.”

  “Let the cops handle it.”

  His lips flattened and his jaw got tight. Fear crept through her at his determined look. He was going to dole out the club’s form of justice and he might end up back in jail. Not County, either. State prison this time. Which meant he might never get out.

  And, Jesus, as she looked at the man sitting by her side, she realized she could not lose him. She couldn’t.

  “I wasn’t raped,” she whispered.

  His nostrils flared and his fingers constricted around hers. His body was like a tightly wound spring. “Know it.”

  “Jazz—”

  “Babe. Know it,” he said forcefully. Meaning, don’t say it out loud.

  “I want to see her.”

  His eyes raised to the bag of fluid that hung above the bed, then flicked to the monitors that were attached to her. “Ain’t goin’ nowhere.”

  “I have to see her...” She swallowed hard, her mouth dry like cotton. “I tried, Hawk. I tried to stop them.”

  His eyes squeezed shut. “Babe,” he said on a rough breath. His eyes popped open as he aggressively scrubbed a hand over his mohawk. “Both got your share of shit, babe.”

  “Is she awake?”

  “Dunno. Been in here. Haven’t left you.”

  The beeping from the monitor became quicker as her heart beat faster at his words.

  He rubbed his hand over his jaw, which now displayed a dark five-o’clock shadow. “My fault. Shouldn’t have dragged you into my life.”

  “You didn’t drag me. I came willingly.” And she did. Yes, he was pushy and domineering, but Kiki would never do something she didn’t want to. She had been intrigued by Hawk the minute she walked into that room at County and saw his body just about busting from the seams of those orange coveralls, tattoos on his scalp, and seeping attitude. She immediately saw a challenge and the second he opened his mouth, she had no doubt he was one, too.

  He continued as if she hadn’t said a word. “Shouldn’t have sent you back to the house by yourself.”

  He was going to second guess every move he made that night. “You couldn’t have known.”

  “Got Warriors fuckin’ with us, should’ve known. Fucked up, babe.”

  Blaming himself for something he had no control over wasn’t going to do either of them any good. “It isn’t your fault.”

  He tried to extract his hand from hers. She held on as tightly as she could, but he was a million times stronger than her, especially right now.

  “The fuck it isn’t,” he exploded. “Bastards got a beef with DAMC. Been goin’ on a long time. Should’ve expected more shit to go down after Dogs an’ Hogs. Let my guard down. All of us did.”

  “But I’m not DAMC.”

  He blew out a loud, forceful breath. “Yeah, babe, you are. Minute you climbed into my bed you were marked DAMC. Them findin’ you in my driveway proved it to ‘em.”

  “They just wanted my car.”

  “Our women, our money, a sled, a car. Our town. Always tryin’ to grab our shit.”

  “Brother,” came from a deep voice at the door to her hospital room.

  Diesel’s bulk filled the doorway, his face tight and unhappy. His eyes landed on Kiki. “You good?”

  “Did you get your cut back?” Kiki asked, seeing that he had a different T-shirt over his broad chest but was still missing his usual leather vest. The one he draped over her.

  “Got it.”

  It had to be covered in her blood. “I’ll get it cleaned for you.”

  Diesel’s eyes widened for a second then quickly narrowed as he stepped into the room. “Ain’t gonna do that.”

  “It’s the least I can do.”

  “Babe,” Hawk said simply. Which clearly meant to let it go.

  Her gaze swung to him then back to Diesel as the larger man approached the bed. “Thank you.”

  Diesel’s chest lurched as he took in all the medical devices attached to Kiki. “Club’s enforcer, babe. Gotta protect everything that belongs to the club.”

  Now, not only Hawk, but it was Diesel implying that she was considered a part of the club. Or more like club “property.” She wasn’t sure if she liked that.

  “Failed,” Diesel grunted.

  “No,” Kiki said immediately. “You found us. You saved us. You didn’t fail,” she assured him.

  His mouth became an angry slash, reminding her exactly of Hawk’s earlier. “Failed you. Failed my brother. This shit’s gonna end.”

  “I want to see Jazz. Hawk won’t take me. Will you?”

  Diesel’s eyes slid to his brother. Kiki didn’t miss Hawk’s frown and slight shake of his head. “Doctor probably won’t like you movin’,” Diesel finally said.

  “Get a nurse with a wheelchair. I need to see her.”

  Diesel stared at her for a moment, looked one more time at his brother, then, with a jerk of his chin, strode from the room.

  “Babe.”

  “I need to see her, Hawk.”

  He inhaled a deep breath, then said, “Yeah. Got you.”

  Diesel came back in the room not even a minute later, pushing a wheelchair with an orderly following closely on his heels, squawking at him.

  “You can’t just help yourself to a wheelchair, sir!”

  Diesel just grunted and rolled it closer to the bed.

  “You can’t move her! I’m going to get a nurse.”

  “Do that,” he grumbled.

  The female orderly huffed and rushed from the room. Kiki wanted to laugh but couldn’t with her broken and bound ribs, so she shot him a smile instead, even though that was painful, too, with what felt like a split bottom lip.

  She didn’t want to look in a mirror any time soon since she could imagine what a mess her face was. But, what she went through was nothing compared to Jazz’s nightmare.

  Hawk unhooked the bag from the IV pole and hooked it onto the one attached to the wheelchair. Then he pushed her hospital gown down from around her neck enough that he could peel off the pads to the heart monitor that were stuck to her chest and when the beeping went wild, he yanked the machine’s plug. “Know your heart’s beatin’. Don’t need that shit, anyway.”

  Kiki tried to smirk but winced instead. She agreed. Her heart was beating and it was doing it for him, so it was beating just fine. Her eyes followed him as he reached under her to lift her. Diesel pushed him aside.

  “Lemme,” he grumbled to his brother.

  Hawk stepped back, said “Careful,” and let Diesel gently lift Kiki up and place her into the chair.

  She was proud of herself when she didn’t even let out a whimper as he did it.

  “Got it from here, brother,” Hawk said, shouldering Diesel away from the chair’s handles.

  D lifted his hands in surrender and stepped out of the way, then marched out the

door leading the way to Jazz’s room.

  As Hawk pushed her into the hall, Kiki was surprised how packed the corridor was. And surprised the hospital staff hadn’t herded all of the bikers and their family into a nearby waiting room. They lined both sides of the hallway from her room and beyond, all the way to Jazz’s room, the direction Diesel headed, demanding people make room for Hawk and her to get past.

  Jesus. It hit her then how much of a family this club truly was. Somber faces lifted a little as they saw her and Hawk heading down the narrow path.

  Words of encouragement, back pats to Hawk, and thumbs up to her greeted them as they passed.

  “Make a hole,” Diesel barked as they rolled up to what she could only assume was Jazz’s room. They made a hole.

  Ace stood beside the door, eyeballing Hawk. “Son,” he greeted. Then his gaze dropped to Kiki. “Should you be outta bed?”

  “No, Pop, she shouldn’t but she’s as fuckin’ stubborn as a Dougherty,” Hawk answered for her.

  The wrinkles around Ace’s warm brown eyes crinkled further. “Yeah. Tells you somethin’, son.”

  Hawk just grunted and pushed past his father. A pretty, older woman next to Ace laid a hand on Hawk as he passed by and she gave him a reassuring smile.

  Kiki wouldn’t doubt that was his mother. How she pushed children as large as Hawk and Diesel from her womb, she’ll never know but the woman deserved a medal.

  Kiki might have to rethink having kids with Hawk. Unless she could be guaranteed a C-section and some kind of drug like the morphine she was on now.

  Her thoughts quickly fled her as Hawk pushed her into the quiet, solemn room where Jazz laid very still on a bed. She had way more machines surrounding her than Kiki had. An older couple hovered by the bed. She recognized Grizz, Jazz’s grandfather, and could only assume the older woman was Mama Bear, his wife.

  Mama Bear’s eyes were red and puffy and Grizz kept pulling at his long, gray unkempt beard.

  “She wake up yet?” Diesel asked, his voice gruff. The big man was truly affected by the small young woman laying helpless before them in the hospital bed.

  “Been in an’ out,” Grizz answered, his voice rough, too.

  “She know what happened?” Hawk asked.

  Mama Bear shook her gray head. “Not sure. I’m hoping she’s blissfully unaware for now. Her body needs to heal first. Then we’ll worry ‘bout her mind.”

  Kiki agreed. She tapped Hawk’s hand and he brought her chair closer to the bed. Kiki reached out and stroked Jazz’s still arm, then gripped her hand and held it tight. Lifting it to her cheek, she whispered, “Honey, I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

  Diesel made a noise behind her and when Kiki glanced over her shoulder, he was striding quickly from the room.

  Grizz’s eyes followed him. He murmured, “That man’s gonna rip ‘em apart piece by piece with his bare hands.”

  “Death’s too good for ‘em,” Mama Bear agreed with her husband.

  Kiki realized now might not be the best time, but as their attorney she needed to encourage them to remain cool and let law enforcement handle justice. Not them.

  It wasn’t going to do anybody any good if they all ended up arrested. Or worse.

  She regarded Grizz. “Were the police in here already?”

  “Yeah,” he grunted.

  Mama Bear turned red eyes her way. “Did a rape kit. Victim’s advocate was in here, too. She hasn’t been coherent enough for a statement, though. I’m glad. She doesn’t need to relive that horror right away.”

  “She’s going to have to eventually,” Kiki reminded Jazz’s grandmother.

  “They’ll have your statement.”

  Kiki didn’t want to tell her that she was knocked out during Jazz’s assault. She hadn’t witnessed most of it.

  The squawking orderly came barreling into the room with what looked like a nurse by her side.

  “What are you doing out of bed and out of your room?” The nurse shot an accusing look at Hawk. “You can’t just move her like that!” The nurse was brave as she smacked at Hawk’s hands and shooed him away from the wheelchair to take over. “I’m taking you back to your room,” she huffed.

  Kiki caught Mama Bear’s gaze. “Let me know when she’s awake again and wants to talk.”

  Mama Bear gave her a sad smile and nodded.

  “Be back,” Hawk grunted as the nurse rushed Kiki from the room, Hawk on her heels.

  “You all shouldn’t even be in this hallway,” she griped as she pushed Kiki through the gauntlet of Dirty Angels and their women.

  “Ain’t fuckin’ leavin’, woman,” someone said.

  The nurse huffed again but froze, pulling Kiki to a stop when a high-pitched wail came from the end of the hallway near the elevators. The hair on the back of Kiki’s neck stood up and Kiki noticed Hawk turn solid.

  The crowd parted and Kiki had to swallow hard as she witnessed Bella, her face flushed, open her mouth and let out another haunting wail as she dropped to her knees to the hard tile floor, her hands digging into her hair.

  “Jesus fuckin’ Christ,” Diesel shouted from behind them, then he was pushing past Hawk, Kiki and the nurse and stalking toward his cousin who seemed to be having some sort of breakdown.

  A female voice shouted, “Call Axel.”

  Hawk’s head turned sharply. “No.”

  “Yes,” Diamond pushed forward, hands on hips. “Someone call Axel. I don’t have his number, or I would.”

  “No one better fuckin’ call Axel,” Diesel barked as he rushed to Bella. “Got this.”

  He gathered his cousin in his arms and lifted her like she weighed as much as a feather. He smacked the Down button at the elevator, Bella appearing boneless and weak as he nestled her against his wide chest.

  He put his mouth close to her ear and as the elevator doors whooshed open, he stepped inside, never once turning around to face the rest of them. The doors whooshed closed and they were gone.

  “Maybe with D taking care of Bella, it may delay the murder and mayhem he wants to commit,” said Ivy, who was wrapped tightly in Jag’s arms, her face pale after seeing her sister fall apart.

  “Not sure ‘bout that,” Jag muttered, then pressed his mouth to Ivy’s temple. Ivy curved her fingers around his jaw and held tightly.

  Kiki marveled at their closeness, but then her nurse was moving again, determined to get her back into her room and into her hospital bed. Just as they were making the turn into her room, the elevators binged again and Kiki hoped Bella was going to be okay. She had no idea why she would break down like that when she hadn’t even made it to Jazz’s room. She’d hardly made it two steps off the elevator.

  She glanced up at Hawk, who hadn’t left her side even as the nurse had pushed her like a madwoman down the hallway. “Is Bella going to be all right?”

  Hawk’s eyes fell on her, something disturbing behind his eyes. “Don’t know, babe. Shit happened.”

  Shit happened.

  What did that mean? Did he mean the same thing had happened to Bella?

  Couldn’t be.

  Before she could ask, the nurse locked the wheels and helped the orderly lift Kiki out of the chair and place her back in the bed. She had to admit it wasn’t as gentle as Diesel had been. Which, it surprised her that the big man could be that way. He seemed to be a beast through and through, so to see him affected like he was by what happened to her, to Jazz and then his reaction to Bella... it just left Kiki baffled.

  As soon as the nurse had the bedcovers over her, the pads of the EKG monitor stuck back to her chest—though, Kiki couldn’t figure out why in the hell she needed them—she opened her mouth to thank them, even though she was a bit miffed they had rushed her out of Jazz’s room. Her mouth snapped shut as her ex-husband walked into her room.

  Oh good lord.

  The nurse snapped, “There’s supposed to be a limit of visitors. This is getting out of hand.”

  “I’m her husband,” Landon proclaimed and Kiki wanted to groan. He rushed to her bedside, ignoring the killer glare Hawk was shooting his way. As Hawk stepped forward to block him, Landon skirted around him and put not only the bed but the chair Hawk was sitting in earlier between them.

  Smart man.

  “Ex-husband,” Kiki clarified.

  “Sweetheart,” Landon started then his eyes widened as Hawk took a menacing step toward him.

  Kiki gave Hawk a look and put up a hand, hoping he’d stand down. She didn’t need the man to take out his frustration with the Warriors out on Landon. Unwelcome here or not.

  He shook his head. “Gotta rest, babe.”

  “Why are you here?” Kiki asked Landon.

  “The hospital called me. I rushed over as soon as I could.”

  Kiki looked up at her now ex-husband, who was meticulously dressed as always in a well-tailored suit and his hair perfect, even though he “rushed” to her side.

  Kiki gave Hawk a questioning look. “How long have I been here?”

  Hawk just snorted and crossed his arms over his chest, which made him seem bigger and badder than ever.

  Right. Just what she thought. Landon didn’t “rush” anywhere.

  “Why would the hospital call you now that we’re legally divorced?”

  Kiki ignored the sound that Hawk made. She guessed she never mentioned it last night at the bar that it had been made official. Something he’d probably want to know.

  “I’m still your emergency contact.”

  “I’ll have that changed.”

  “To who?” Landon jerked his chin toward Hawk. “Him?”

  Hawk took another menacing step forward.

  Surprisingly, Landon ignored him. “It’s because of him that you’re in the hospital, Keek. You becoming tangled up with this gang caused this mess in the first place.”

  “Club,” Kiki murmured.

  “What? Club! Jesus, Kiki. You know what I’m saying is true. If you weren’t messing with him, you never would’ve been in this situation. He almost got you killed.”

  Oh shit. She could feel the fury radiating from Hawk’s body. The air in the room became thick with it.

  “Hawk,” she said softly.

  “Yeah,” he bit out.

  “Can you excuse us for a minute?”

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