Darklight 5: Darktide

by Forrest, Bella

  Her words hit me like a slap to the face as she went stalking after Kane. I stared at the empty hallway, sucking in great gulps of air as I tried to settle the emotions shaking me apart from the inside: the rage, the shame, the fear that my loss of control yesterday was not a one-off occurrence. That something was wrong with me, something I didn’t truly know how to fight.

  I headed back to the party, all thoughts of taking a rest abandoned. The festivities in the central spiral raged on, oblivious to my stormy return. More people had joined the dance floor as the music had grown livelier. I searched for Dorian's handsome face in the crowd and found him on the far side of the room with Sike and Laini. A smiling Juneau, guards in tow, carried the conversation to amuse the others.

  "And that's when the wildling said to the barkeep—" Juneau's loud joke faded to noise as I pushed through the crowd to Dorian.

  Looking around, it was clear that Roxy and Kane hadn't returned. My stomach churned, conflicting emotions settling in an uncomfortable lump in my core. How much of my reaction had been justified, driven by legitimate concerns about hostile Hive vampires stumbling upon the scene or them ending up in comas from the effects of the curse… and how much was it my frustration and jealousy bubbling over? Dorian leaned down when I tapped him urgently.

  "What's wrong?" he asked, keeping his voice low.

  "—and then the barkeep tells the wildling—"

  I tried to find the words to explain the situation, but as I told the story, I knew how bad it sounded. My tone came out sharp and bitter, and Dorian started frowning halfway through, though he didn’t speak until I finished.

  "Why did you confront them like that?" he asked, his eyes searching my face. His expression, tense and disapproving, didn't match what I’d expected. “If they weren’t showing any symptoms of the pain, then we could have dealt with this later. Quietly.”

  My body and brain felt a complete disconnect. It was just like after the battle yesterday, except this time there was no reasonable justification for my actions. A small part of me knew Dorian was right. Why couldn’t I admit that? "We’re in the middle of a sacred festival,” I said eventually, but there was no real conviction in my tone. “It’s dangerous for our relationship with the Hive if someone who disapproves were to see them.”

  "That’s a weak excuse, and you know it," he muttered. "There was no need to react like that. You're better than this."

  You're better than this. I pulled away, narrowing my eyes. "I know I could have handled it better, but this is different from the situation with you and me," I argued.

  “I don’t quite see how.” Dorian's gaze darted away as he whispered tensely. "And you're raising your voice."

  Juneau, Laini, and Sike were starting to give us covert stares. Heat crawled up my neck, embarrassment mixing with my frustration as I realized I’d drawn attention. A wildling craned his neck. A maker regarded me with curious eyes. My chest squeezed as I struggled to contain conflicting emotions. The anger was corroding again, anger that Dorian wasn’t backing me up, anger at Roxy’s words, anger that… that she and Kane had it so much easier than Dorian and me. Jealousy coated my tongue like a bitter pill. It was an ugly emotion that I hated, yet here it was, swirling with my anger into a vile cocktail of cruel words. Shouldn’t I be happy for my friends?

  Why wasn’t I happy?

  Sensing the need to defuse the situation, even if she didn’t know what the situation was, Laini let out a laugh, gracefully approaching Dorian and me.

  "Why don't we all dance?" she asked warmly. Her smile turned almost mischievous. “This is a celebration, after all.”

  I fought between the urge to tell her not to get involved and wholehearted gratitude for breaking the tension. But I couldn’t bear to dance. Without saying anything, I shook my head, stepping back, and Dorian quietly declined too, not looking at me.

  Laini darted over to Juneau. "Care to join me?" She cast a pleading look to the guards. They were helpless against the sweetness of her heart-shaped face and shrugged.

  “Won’t hurt anyone,” the lean-faced guard said.

  Juneau gave Laini a suave smile, gracefully extending his cuffed hands. "If you don't mind my unique bracelets," he said and stretched the slack piece of rope to its full extension. “They might limit my elegant movement somewhat.”

  “Stylish as always,” she replied, smiling, and led him to the dance floor.

  I took a deep breath, my heated concerns fading as they took to the dance floor. The two cut a dashing, if somewhat strange, figure. With Laini’s radiant smile and Juneau’s purple-gray, pearlescent skin, long hair, and tall figure, every eye followed them. As the music began, Juneau immediately brought Laini into a gentle hold, the two beginning to perform a dance I didn’t recognize. Their movements were elegant and coordinated, as if they had practiced.

  Laini let out a delighted laugh when Juneau twirled her. It was rare to see her smile these days. I glanced at Dorian, but he wasn't smiling or even looking at the dance floor. His stony face was assessing the crowd, and I followed his gaze to where several Hive vampires muttered to each other, pointing at Juneau and Laini as he lifted her easily into the air. Despite her everyday clothes, she looked like a princess in his arms.

  A stout vampire close by scoffed under his breath. "Disgusting."

  Juneau suddenly sidestepped to avoid another couple’s path, the movement so graceful it looked like part of the dance. The vampire couple scowled at him.

  "Watch where you're going,” the woman snapped.

  Juneau's smile never faltered, returning to Laini with even more energy as he twirled her over and over. She giggled in delight when he whispered something in her ear.

  "Stop showing off," someone else threw out.

  "Leave her alone.” It sounded like Brand. “You shouldn't be at a vampire celebration, murderer. Where are his guards?"

  I couldn't see past Juneau's towering frame, but as Laini stepped away from him, I saw her bare her fangs furiously.

  "I want to dance with him," she snarled back at the various commenters.

  Her voice cut through the music, the icy tone startling the female musician. She stumbled over the song, plucking a string wrong, and the entire band fell into disarray. As the music halted, Laini faced down the vampires starting to close in around her and Juneau on the dance floor. I picked out a few faces from our welcoming committee yesterday, Brand’s among them.

  "What do you care?" she asked the crowd. "Why can't I have fun?"

  I stepped forward, but Dorian put an arm out to stop me. The blockage came as a surprise, and I couldn’t stop the look of hurt that I knew showed up on my face. I couldn’t help but wonder if he’d have had the same reaction only a few days ago, before I’d shot the hunters and before I’d had that volatile reaction to Roxy and Kane. A tiny voice whispered that he was right to stop me.

  "Your fun is unnatural," a vampire woman snapped as she clung to her partner. She threw her long braid over one shoulder and bared her fangs. "He's not only a different caste—he's a ruler."

  A chorus of support rose for the woman's words. Juneau remained very still as Laini grew more defensive, her shoulders tensing.

  Reshi, pushing to the front of the crowd to stand beside Laini, regarded the vampire woman coolly. "And what's the issue with vampires and other species mingling? Our mingling saved this place less than a day ago."

  Sike slipped out of the crowd to flank Juneau, Charrek joining him on the other side. "Your caste prejudice is showing."

  "It’s not prejudice. It is mistrust, and it exists for a reason,” Brand argued. “The rulers have a historical record of murdering us, after all."

  Furious muttering and shouts broke out in the room. The tension in the room was palpable now.

  "Rulers have also mistreated us in the past," Charrek piped up. He gestured with his smallest set of hands between himself and Brand. "But we're here to help you and so is Juneau. Many of you are wearing clothes that he made with my aid
. The robes for your ceremony, an entire ceremony based on the idea of balance, were created by makers and the ruler for whom you are expressing such dislike. Isn’t it clear that we're stronger when we work together?"

  "Your suspicions are holding us back from defeating the real enemy that exists outside these walls. That is what the Immortal Council wants. You're playing into their hands," Arlonne added.

  At this, the Hive vampires exploded into chaos as they began to shout their grievances.

  "Why should we trust those who oppress us?"

  "We barely have enough resources to go around!"

  "How dare you speak of Helix,” Brand said with a disgusted sneer. "You understand nothing!"

  "It's you who doesn't understand," Arlonne shouted. "On Helix, we honor the balance between light and darkness, but if we sit here and cower, then the shadows will far outgrow the light. Balance will be lost forever. We will die in this struggle if we continue to hide like cowards."

  One of Brand’s associates threw a limp punch at Arlonne, which she easily avoided before carefully pushing him back, still trying to defuse the situation. Juneau grabbed Laini, who was preparing to square off with the vampire couple in front of her. I ducked under Dorian’s arm, moving to where Zach and Gina stood on the sidelines just off to my left. If things were about to go badly, I wanted to be close to my family, despite everything.

  Dorian cursed under his breath, stepping toward the fray. "This has gone too far—"

  Elder Mox cut him off. "Stop this. All of you." Her voice, shockingly large for her diminutive frame, boomed through the room as she climbed onto the round table draped in the cloths. "If you can't respect the sanctity of Helix enough to not turn it into a political showdown, then leave this room. Immediately." Her stern gaze passed over the room. For a long moment, nobody said a word.

  "That's not enough," Pyma announced. Glim stood behind her, his arms crossed tightly across his chest. "We need to take extreme measures. The Coalition should leave the Hive altogether, immediately. They're the ones causing the trouble. When they weren't here, things were quieter."

  "Mixing castes has done nothing but stir up trouble," Glim added. "We would be better off without them."

  Glim’s words proved the point I had been trying to make to Roxy and Kane. They might have dismissed me, but this was proof I was right.

  "You're wrong," Kono cried, cutting through the crowd to join Juneau, Laini, Sike, Arlonne, Reshi, and Charrek. "Vampires were already suffering and dying in the sanitarium, while we sat here safe in the Hive. We can't stand by anymore while others suffer."

  "Vampires are not cowards," Arlonne said. Bryce stood beside her, a proud gleam in his eye as he watched Arlonne fiercely stare down the elders.

  Glim pulled himself up to his full, impressive height. "This isn't just about vampire suffering. It's about protecting our culture. We are the only safe haven left."

  “Enough,” Mox reiterated, her voice like a razor blade.

  Glim fell back beside Mandola, who looked with apparent disbelief at the scene. Pyma broke away from them. Instead of turning to us, she faced Mox.

  "We're tired of this insubordination. We want the Coalition out of the Hive." She threw a withering look at Dorian and me. "If they're so hell-bent on trusting our enemies and endangering our precious cultural archives, let them leave and start this unwinnable war elsewhere if they wish. We refuse to give up the last scraps of our history to hot-blooded youth and foolish dreams."

  “That has always been the plan,” Reshi said. “We require only another day or so to finish our final construct, and then we can move out of the Hive to take the fight to Itzarriol if you wish. But hunters have found the Hive. It is no longer safe here.”

  Zach and Gina, and the rest of the Coalition who were present, began to move to back up those of us already facing down the elders and their supporters. I stepped in with them, watching my worst fears be confirmed as the factions visibly began to split apart. All those who didn’t want to be involved stepped aside, many leaving the central spiral altogether. Our side held the Coalition members and sympathetic Hive members, while the other side contained the distrustful crowd of traditional vampires. How did it come this? We were having a party, and now…

  The Hive vampires muttered in agreement of Pyma’s hardline proposition, while Mox scowled but refused to say anything. Her tactful approach to her group's democracy had failed. The storm had hit the harbor. A charged silence pulsed through the room.

  "Are you going to make us leave?” Arlonne asked. Her question teemed with challenge.

  The elders and the vampires on their side stared at her and the Coalition. Slowly, I saw the realization sparking behind their cold eyes. We had the strongest warriors, including many of the Hive's scouts, and all the other castes on our side. Dorian’s generation of vampires, unlike many of the older vampires who sided with Pyma’s thought process, had combat training, regardless of whether they’d chosen the warrior path.

  The elders and their supporters couldn't kick us out if they tried. In the end, it had come down to a numbers game, and we’d won. That knowledge brought me no satisfaction or relief; the victory felt spoiled and ugly.

  Dorian took a step forward, across the invisible division between our groups. He lifted his hands peacefully, but his jaw was set with a determination that I knew well.

  "I want to protect our sacred knowledge, lore, and the vulnerable members of the Hive," he said in an even voice. "But I cannot do that if there continues to be open conflict. Whatever your opinions, the facts are these. The Hive will not be safe for much longer. Hunters found us once, and undoubtedly more will soon be on their way. Vampires must work with the other castes present here if we hope to survive. We must begin taking steps to remove the Immortal Council, which we can't do while we hide.”

  In the silence that followed, he slowly looked over the room with a steely gaze. “After surviving so much, I will not allow our own infighting to be the end of the vampire species. So, this is the way it’s going be: everyone who is unable or unwilling to fight with the Coalition against the Immortal Council and their forces will be evacuated to the compound in Scotland in the Mortal Plane."

  There was an immediate murmur of dissent, but Mox stepped down from the table, walking forward to meet Dorian.

  She gave him a shrewd look, a bitter twist to her mouth. “So be it.”

  Without another word, she exited the central spiral, leaving absolute silence in her wake. I shared an uneasy look with several of my teammates.

  Our shaky peace with the Hive had crumbled, and the celebration was most certainly over. It was back to business—the hard way.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Dorian found me later in the quiet storage room we’d been meeting in for our transfusions. I studied the needle pricks inside the crook of my arm, listening to his footsteps as he walked down the aisle of boxes to our hideaway.

  “Some end to a party,” he muttered and sat beside me.

  I nodded, a numb sensation spreading through my chest. I darted a glance at him. His mouth was set in a pensive scowl. For a moment, we sat in utter silence, as if neither of us knew how to begin.

  “I already drew some blood for you,” I said finally. I repeatedly passed the blood-filled syringe from one hand to the other as Dorian gave me an assessing look.

  “Lyra.” The caution in his voice pained me. “Are you all right?”

  “Of course I’m all right,” I replied automatically. Automatic was all I could manage at this point. His brow furrowed, an unreadable emotion flickering behind his eyes. I hated that I now found it hard to interpret some of his expressions. You’d think swapping blood might bring people closer.

  “Are you sure?” he asked. “Because after the hunters and now the issue with Kane and Roxy…”

  I tensed immediately. My tongue felt heavy in my mouth. “The last two days have been a lot. I know I’ve messed up, badly, but I really don’t want to talk about this righ
t now. Please.”

  It was the truth, and I knew I was avoiding the conversation because my shame was too raw. I knew that I’d gone too far, and I wasn’t foolish enough to pretend that I didn’t know why.

  I’d known that the vampire blood was affecting me. I’d felt the side effects, heard Gate Maker’s warning that I couldn’t let my emotions rule me, and yet I’d vastly underestimated what it could do, how closely it could tie itself to my own thoughts, how fully it could integrate itself into my psyche. I hadn’t realized it was taking over until it was too late.

  I’d lost control. But I wouldn’t do it again. Now that I knew what it felt like, I could prevent it from happening. It was true that I’d had a setback with Kane and Roxy, but it would take some practice and time to get it right. I would be more careful in the future, question myself more before acting. It would be difficult, but this was the price of being close to Dorian and being able to continue my role in this war.

  “All right. But we do need to talk about what you’re struggling with at some point. For the sake of the group, if nothing else,” he said evenly. “Remember, I’m here for you. We’re a team.”

  “I know,” I said, trying to ignore the shame crawling in my gut. “I know, trust me.”

  He dropped his gaze to the blood. His scowl deepened. “Let’s get this done. There are things we need to do.”

  * * *

  The next day, with the fiasco of Helix fresh in our minds, the Coalition heads gathered in Linus’s workshop. Although the core leadership had been established before our team arrived from the Mortal Plane, Dorian and I had been brought in to join the decision-making process. Kono, Arlonne, Bryce, Reshi, the most lucid harvester, and two shaggy-haired wildling brothers named Bok and Min who hailed from the north, made up the leadership under the watchful eyes of Linus as he puttered around his workshop. Zach and Gina sat at the end of the table beside Bravi and Kane, here to observe and contribute more from the human perspective.