Darklight 5: Darktide

by Forrest, Bella

  Dorian stiffened almost imperceptibly, his face morphing into a carefully neutral expression. “I understand your logic,” he said, “and you’re right that the curse could cause problems in the battle. But we exchanged blood recently enough that we should have another day before that happens. More than anything, I don’t have much energy until I manage to feed on someone. Giving Kane my blood, and then the energy needed for travel… it’s taken a lot out of me.”

  Even as I nodded, I wrestled with a selfish anger at his refusal. What was I becoming, that I would resent the man I loved for making the choice that would keep him safe in the battle to come?

  I sat up, turning away from him, tucking my knees into my chest as the anger raged alongside my searing guilt, heating my face.

  “Hey.” Dorian rested a hand tentatively on my shoulder. “I’m sorry. But if you can go longer than a day without blood, that will tell us a lot about the curse and how the blood is affecting you. I’m worried that you’re becoming too dependent.”

  I exhaled slowly through my nostrils, hating the quiver in my breathing. The anger was still there, but I was able to contain it, turning back to him. “I’m sorry, and I know you’re right. It’s just my nerves talking.” I paused, pushing back the curtains of anger to find what I was really feeling. “Tomorrow, we’re going into the biggest battle we’ve ever faced. My increased reflexes and instincts have helped me survive, Dorian. I don’t want to lose this battle… and I don’t want to die. Not here. Not now.”

  I paused as my doubts swirled inside me; it felt like I’d forgotten how to breathe as I summoned the strength to ask the question that I feared the most. “Do you think I should go back to the Mortal Plane with the refugees?”

  He flinched back from the stark words, but then found the strength that I so admired in him as a leader. “Do you think that would be safest for you? And for the rest of the team?” He paused. “We talked about this before we started the blood, saying that if it went badly, then you might have to go back to the Mortal Plane and work on that side of the war until we found another way to negate the curse. And you have changed. We have to acknowledge that. You’ve been wrestling with increased anger, paranoia, and you’ve become more and more withdrawn in the last few days. Those are signs that you’re not in your right mind at the moment, which I know you don’t want to hear. It might just be the stress, and not the blood, but if you are struggling and need some time back in the Mortal Plane, then what’s causing it doesn’t matter.”

  I shook my head, fighting internally to find the sense of rational calm I had worked so hard to cultivate throughout my life. “I can’t abandon everyone now,” I said, my voice husky with humiliating tears. “But I’m not enough to beat the hunters on my own, Dorian. I’m on the front line in this fight, and without the blood I’m not enough.”

  He shifted to sit in front of me, cupping my face in his hands to keep me from turning away as his eyes searched mine.

  “I love you, and if I thought that you needed the blood to survive, I would give it to you,” he said matter-of-factly. “But I’ve seen you fight without it. You’ve taken down hunters, beaten vampires in sparring. You don’t need it.”

  “I—” I started.

  “Lyra.” His voice cut through my protest like steel, but his eyes were soft and gentle. “I know you’re not thinking straight, that you’re not totally yourself right now for whatever reason. I want you here with me in this fight, but if you feel that you need to go with the refugees to the Mortal Plane, I’m not going to hold it against you, and neither will anyone else.” He tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear and smiled as I reached up to hold onto his wrist with one hand. “I don’t want you to lose me, just as I don’t want to lose you, but if I give you blood, there is a risk I might not make it through the battle.”

  It felt as if he’d smacked me in the face, as his words cut through everything I was feeling. I reeled back, shaken and vulnerable as I processed the blind selfishness that I’d been exhibiting by asking for his blood.

  I surged to my feet, pulling away from his hands, too rattled to find more words than, “I need to go and think.”

  He stayed quiet as I scrambled out of the hiding spot. As soon as I was out of earshot, I swore under my breath and ducked behind a boulder, my hands shaking. Anger pounded in my ears, and my throat was tight with panic. Dorian was right… I was losing control, and I hated it. I leaned my head against the cool rock and sucked in a long breath.

  If only there was someone I could talk to…

  Zach and Gina were out of the question. I’d have to explain about the blood, and they would cast judgment without question out of worry for my safety. Roxy’s face flashed through my mind, even after our recent argument, but she was with the evacuees on the other side of the mountains. A vampire would be a better bet. Bravi understood Dorian and difficult vampire situations, but it might be uncomfortable for her because of the feelings she used to have for Dorian. I rubbed my temples, feeling the dull ache return with a vengeance.

  The more I thought about it, the more one person seemed like the best choice. I made my way back to the lookout post I’d just left. Laini was sitting cross-legged, her dark hair trailing down her back. She looked out over the valley, serene and strong.

  “Hey,” I said, “do you have a minute?”

  She turned to me with a smile. Her violet eyes softened when she saw the tense lines on my face. “What’s going on?”

  “I want to run something by you,” I muttered. “Do you mind?”

  “Not at all.” She gestured to the valley. “As long as we can keep an eye out.”

  “Of course.” I worked up my courage. As briefly as I could, I summarized everything for her. I was blunt about my side effects and concern that I’d been selfish but let my frustration bubble over about my worries for the upcoming battle. Laini’s eyebrow rose higher and higher.

  “I never realized that you guys went to such great lengths,” Laini said in a hushed voice. “That must’ve been hard for both of you.”

  “It has been,” I admitted, my voice thick with tears. The struggles of the last two weeks washed over me, and I sat with them for a moment, overwhelmed. Laini didn’t prod me. Eventually, I wiped my eyes and tried again.

  “I’m constantly angry. It’s like I’m walking around full of gasoline, and the smallest spark can set it off. It’s so—” I broke off, trying to search for the right word.

  “Primal?” she guessed with a bittersweet smile. “I might know something about that.”

  “Yes,” I said bluntly. “How did you handle your anger?” I winced at my delivery. “I just mean that you seem a bit… better since we got to the Hive.”

  Laini hesitated. “I know I was acting different in Itzarriol. I’ll tell you what helped me, because I think it might work for you, too. It’s about Juneau and me.” Well. My interest was piqued. Something certainly occurred between them while the rest of us were in the sanitarium. I had my suspicions, but I wanted to hear it from Laini.

  “Juneau and I grew closer… unexpectedly. It’s no secret that I disliked him at first; everyone saw that. But after Juneau tricked the guards who followed him back from the party, he let me ambush them and feed on them. I helped him survive in the city long enough to stage a successful evacuation of his guild. He impressed me.” She smiled to herself. “For a flamboyant, spoiled rich guy, he was surprisingly capable during an emergency. One evening, we got stuck near the Gray Ravine for several hours.” She shuddered, perhaps remembering her breakdown on the harvester’s boat.

  I listened intently as Laini explained that she’d told Juneau about Lanzon. “I told him everything. About how we met, how he died, how much I missed him, still… and the rage I felt for the rulers who brought about his death.”

  Oh, Laini… I could only imagine how vulnerable she must have felt, to open up to someone she considered an enemy.

  “He didn’t try to comfort me or make it better. He just sat the
re and listened, and somehow, he knew that was exactly what I needed. Later he told me his own story. It was devastating. I can’t tell you everything he said, but when he was young, maybe a teenager by Immortal standards, his abusive parents and grandfather were murdered. By vampires. They’d snuck into Itzarriol to feed. Juneau believes those vampires saved his life.”

  A chill ran down my spine. I hated to think of anyone hurting the flighty and excitable Immortal, especially when he was a child. Juneau’s openness to vampires suddenly made a horrifying kind of sense.

  Laini caught my shocked expression and inclined her head in acknowledgement. “Yes, it’s a lot. It surprised me, too. But my point is, my anger had prevented me from seeing something good right in front of me—a person trying to be good, who just needed a push in the right direction. I was always angry, and it wore me down. I felt sick with myself, so I tried to push it away and hide it. It never worked; it just came out when I lost control. Usually at the worst possible time.”

  I nodded. I knew that feeling all too well.

  “But after I figured out where my anger was coming from, I was able to direct it to something better. When we went to rescue Carwin and Detra from the rulers, I used my anger to give everything I had on our mission. I didn’t ignore it or fight against it. When you push it down, it just makes it harder to find a good use for it.”

  I let her words soak into my tired brain. She was right. If Laini had been able to accept all that anger and use it for something positive, like rescuing Rhome’s children, then I could do it.

  “Thank you, Laini,” I said. “I hope Rhome and the kids make it safely.”

  “They should be in Scotland soon,” Laini muttered. “I think the groups headed through the gates are under much less risk than the group going through the tear.” Her eyes rested on me with a sweet but appraising frown. “Your anger, Lyra. If it’s not directed at Dorian or anyone on our team, where do you think you should direct it?”

  I opened my mouth, but I had no reply ready. Where should I push my anger? Abruptly, Laini stiffened, and I froze.

  “Something’s out there. I don’t sense darkness, so it’s not a hunter, but…” She moved closer to me. “Someone is coming toward us.” She crouched beside a jagged collection of rocks and shadows. I pulled one of the knives from my belt, bracing myself for combat.

  “We need to raise the alarm if we need help,” I told her. Her lips twisted with disbelief at something that I couldn’t sense.

  “It’s a vampire.” She took a cautious step forward and raised her voice to say, “I know you’re there. Who are you?”

  A weak, quiet voice whispered back, “Sabal.”

  A figure emerged from the shadows. Indeed, Sabal stood before us, with a hunched posture. Her eyes darted around, but she relaxed upon seeing just Laini and me. Sabal was supposed to be back in the Mortal Plane across the tear. I couldn’t imagine what she was doing here. Unless something had gone terribly wrong in the Mortal Plane. I tensed, nightmares flashing before my eyes.

  “What are you doing here?” Laini asked stiffly. “I thought you were going to Moab.”

  “I thought you were going to the Hive,” Sabal muttered. “It doesn’t matter. Are all the group leaders here?” From her stance and tone, it didn’t seem like she’d fled from a bloodbath. I relaxed a fraction.

  “Most of them,” Laini said with a half-shrug. “What’s this about?”

  “I have information for you,” Sabal replied quickly. “I snuck away from Moab on a redbill and made it to Itzarriol… I hoped I could find Myndra, since I figured she wouldn’t stay in the Mortal Plane for very long. Ever since Lyra told me that my sister was alive, I’ve been looking for her. I got humans to help me look on the internet and the news, but there’s been nothing.” For a moment, her eyes grew glassy with tears.

  She’d gone all the way to Itzarriol for her sister?

  “You could’ve been killed,” I said, trying to work out how I felt about this. My first instinct was disapproval. She was clearly dedicated to her sister, but that had been incredibly reckless. She’d taken off without any backup. If it was Dorian or Zach, though… Darn. I would’ve done the same thing. I sighed. “You did what you had to do.” And apparently, there was more to her than I’d thought, if she’d made it all the way to Itzarriol and back alone. I cast an appraising eye over her. We could use skills like that.

  Sabal wrung her hands. “I saw no sign of Myndra near Itzarriol, but I preyed on hunters until I found something—information about who’s controlling the revenants.”

  She knew about the revenant masters? “Who?”

  “Their names are Lord Orrin and Lady Izelde. There are others, but those are the leaders. They arrived at the training camp earlier today.” She balled her hands into fists. “I followed them. I want revenge for what they did to my sister.”

  Laini and I shared an astonished look.

  “We need to tell the others,” I said. “We’ve got to wake everyone up. Are you up for a fight?” The latter, I directed to Sabal. She looked like she needed to drain a dozen more hunters followed by a week-long nap.

  Sabal’s eyes flashed with fierce determination. “I’m ready to do whatever I need to in order to find my sister.”

  Laini and I escorted Sabal back to the camp, where we wasted no time waking up the leaders. We gathered in a tight circle away from the other slumbering warriors, who needed their rest. Sabal told Dorian everything she knew about the group controlling the revenants. She fiercely expressed her desire to fight with our group.

  “I want to destroy whoever turned my sister into… that.” Sabal glared at something beyond our group, likely imagining what she wanted to do to said rulers.

  I stood beside Dorian. On the outside, I looked professional and calm. Inside, the weight of Laini’s words made my stomach sink. I needed to talk to Dorian, give him some insight into what I was wrestling with and to assure him that I wasn’t going to leave his side, but the time wasn’t right.

  A sudden buzz filled the air. Dorian sucked in a breath. “The jaspeth.”

  As he spoke, the jaspeth machine swept low and fast over our camp. The noise roused every warrior from their bedroll. Reshi waved from the back of the jaspeth and jumped elegantly to land in the dirt. Her clothing was streaked with dirt and sweat.

  “The hunters. They’ve found the evacuees,” she spat. “We managed to chase them off with the jaspeth, but we couldn’t kill them all. They were too fast for us. When they realized they were outclassed, they ran toward the training camp. It’s only a matter of time before the entire camp knows that there’s a giant group of vampires nearby.”

  My pulse skyrocketed. There went the chance of any rest. This day would never end. Chaos erupted as everyone struggled to get ready. I darted to my unused bedroll to gather my belongings. After brief hesitation, I stuffed the transfusion kit into my bag, just in case. A familiar sensation in the air made the hairs on the back of my neck stand to attention.

  “Everyone, listen up,” Juneau boomed in a voice that rang throughout the camp. “Change in plans. All teams assemble—the evacuation is in motion. We are attacking the camp now.”

  The battle was on.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Thick fog shrouded the tear leading to the Mortal Plane, but lightning crackled along the edges of its angry presence. All the fighters, myself included, scooped up weapons, packs, and supplies already prepped for the raid. I looked toward the valley. It was peaceful at the moment, but that would change soon. If we were lucky, the soul-light would brighten before the initial strike. Our current conditions weren’t ideal for the humans, although in the drifting fog, the hunters would suffer too. I rubbed my eyes, steeling myself for a battle without the benefits of Dorian’s blood. He was right: I’d fought redbills, monsters, vampires, and hunters without a drop of vampire blood. I could do it again.

  “Everyone clear about their groups?” Dorian called.

  A unanimous chorus of resp
onses came from every corner of the camp. Dorian was our battle general for this raid, thanks to his knowledge of both the local area and our experiences with the hunters in the sanitarium. We fell into our designated places. All warriors, mortal and immortal, moved as if by instinct.

  “Team Lanzon,” Juneau called in his magnified voice. “You’re leaving now.”

  It was Dorian’s group, named for his fallen brother. It had been decided that every team would carry the name of one of the dead. Team Lanzon would seek out the hunters’ scouts to prevent them from warning the training camp.

  Dorian was on the other side of the camp. His hand sliced through the air, beckoning his team members. Our eyes met across the field. His focused gaze softened for the briefest moment. I raised a hand in farewell before pulling myself away to gather my own group, fighting back a wave of sadness. I wished we’d had time to say a real goodbye. There was so much I wanted to say to him.

  Team Grayson gathered around me. Our objective was to take the offensive. We planned to break into the compound and work alongside the other offensive teams to mount what I hoped would still be a surprise attack on the hunters. I swept my eyes over my team, thankful for Bravi in my ranks, along with Gina. A cold sweat pricked the back of my neck. Speaking of scouts…

  “Gren and our Hive scout never came back,” I muttered. The humans had little knowledge of the terrain surrounding the training camp, though I had a handful of vampires in my squad. They faced me with earnest expressions, ready to work. Time to deliver the good news.

  “The scouts haven’t returned, so we’re going in blind,” I announced. “Vampires will have to help humans with their sight. We’ll take to the air and circle the area just once along with Team Azpai. Anything more and we risk being spotted through that mist. Bravi, I need you and the other vampires constantly scanning for places to land. If we can drop right into the compound, we will.” Team Azpai was led by Arlonne. We’d quickly decided that we needed numbers for the initial assault, so both teams would go in together.