The Dark Side of the Road

by Simon Green

  ‘Because I don’t want them getting distracted,’ I said. ‘They’re going to have a hard enough time believing there’s a vampire in their midst, without adding me to the mix.’

  ‘I do get that,’ said Penny. ‘I’m still having problems accepting what you are, and I saw the evidence.’

  ‘The others have a right to know what’s really threatening them,’ I said. ‘If only so we can work out how best to defend ourselves.’

  ‘I’m not arguing,’ said Penny. ‘It’s just … how are we going to explain the whole vampire thing to them?’

  ‘With our mouths,’ I said.

  ‘Ho ho ho,’ said Penny. ‘Alien humour.’

  ‘One of them already knows,’ I said. ‘So the one who objects most …’

  ‘Is almost certainly the vampire!’ said Penny.

  ‘See how easy this is?’ I said.

  Penny smiled widely. ‘I can hit you from here.’

  I looked at the closed door to the drawing room, halfway down the long hallway. Inside, people were arguing loudly and angrily and borderline hysterically. None of them seemed sure what to do for the best, but that didn’t stop them arguing about it. So I stayed where I was and listened in.

  ‘We should just get the hell out of here!’ Sylvia said tearfully. ‘Leave the house and make a run for it. I don’t like it here, and I want to go!’

  ‘Then go,’ Melanie said coldly. ‘No one’s stopping you.’

  ‘I don’t want to go on my own,’ said Sylvia. ‘I’m scared of the storm. Of getting lost. Won’t anybody come with me?’

  ‘It’s not safe, Sylvia,’ said Khan, clearly struggling to sound sympathetic. ‘We all understand how scary this situation is, but the storm is far more dangerous. Leaving the house now would be suicide.’

  ‘Melanie?’ said Sylvia.

  ‘Don’t be silly,’ Melanie said immediately. ‘I can’t leave Walter. And he wouldn’t last ten minutes, out in the cold.’

  ‘Nobody would,’ said Jeeves. ‘I took a look out the front door a few minutes ago, and the storm’s cold enough to kill any of us, long before we could reach safety or shelter.’

  ‘I still say we should all barricade ourselves in our rooms!’ said Melanie. She was trying hard for self-control, but only hanging on by her fingernails. ‘Why won’t anyone listen to me? It’s the only way to stay safe until help arrives!’

  ‘Help is on its way,’ said Jeeves. ‘My people are coming, but there’s no way they can get here before morning. At the earliest.’

  ‘Locking himself in his room didn’t work out too well for Roger,’ said Leilah. ‘Did it?’

  ‘We should all stay together,’ said Khan. ‘Stay in one place, watch each other’s backs. Safety in numbers. Ishmael was right. He may be irritating, and overbearing, but he was right. If we’d listened to him, Roger might still be alive.’

  ‘Ishmael, darling,’ said Penny. ‘Please tell me what you’re doing, because you haven’t moved a muscle in quite a while, your face is entirely empty, and I am starting to freak out big time.’

  ‘Sorry,’ I said. ‘I was listening to the others talking in the drawing room.’ I gave her the gist of what I’d just overheard.

  Penny looked down the hall to the drawing room. ‘You can hear everything they’re saying? All the way down there? Through a closed door?’

  ‘Yes,’ I said. ‘It’s a gift.’

  I threw open the door to the drawing room, and everyone immediately froze where they were and fell silent. They relaxed, just a little, when they saw it was only me, and Penny, but they only had to look at our faces to know something had happened. And that whatever it was, they really weren’t going to like it.

  I looked at Jeeves. ‘You should have locked the door.’

  ‘I did,’ he said. ‘But then I had to unlock it, because people insisted on coming and going, so …’

  ‘Not a good idea,’ I said.

  ‘I will not be held prisoner in my own house!’ Melanie said loudly.

  ‘Would you rather be dead?’ I said.

  ‘Well, really …’ said Melanie.

  ‘What’s happened?’ said Leilah, looking at me narrowly.

  ‘Diana is dead,’ I said, as kindly as I could. ‘Murdered, in her room.’

  ‘No!’ said Sylvia. She had both hands at her mouth again. ‘She was sleeping, so I locked the door behind me when I left. And then, after Roger, I came down here … How could I have left her up there, on her own? What was I thinking?’

  Penny shot me a meaningful glance. I’d already had the same thought. Could Sylvia’s mind have been affected by the vampire? To make her abandon her friend, and then forget about her? Like we all had, outside Roger’s room?

  Sylvia turned to Khan, looking for him to comfort her, as he had before. Only to find he wasn’t ready to do that, this time. He just stood there and looked at her. Not actually suspicious, but not ready to trust her, either. Sylvia turned away, crushed by his rejection, and hugged herself tightly, as though to stop herself falling apart.

  ‘You’re the only one here we don’t know, Sylvia,’ Khan said slowly. ‘Diana brought you here. We knew nothing about you before this weekend.’

  ‘You bastard!’ said Sylvia, rounding on him. ‘You’re the one with motives for murder! James is dead, and Roger is dead, and you had arguments with both of them! We all saw you! We all heard you! What did you have against Diana? Did she get in the way, when you were trying to pressure Walter?’

  Melanie glared coldly at Sylvia. ‘I never wanted you here. Never wanted Diana here. Conniving little bitch. If you’d both stayed away … I only let Diana come because Walter insisted. He thought we could all be good friends together … He’s always been too sentimental for his own good.’

  ‘Where is Walter?’ I said.

  Everyone stopped and looked around the room, only now waking up to the fact that Walter wasn’t there with them.

  ‘No …’ said Penny. ‘Please, Ishmael, no; not Daddy …’

  ‘He popped out, just a minute ago,’ said Khan. ‘Didn’t he?’

  ‘He went back to our room,’ said Melanie. ‘To take his pills. He hasn’t been gone long …’

  ‘Hasn’t he?’ said Khan.

  ‘How long?’ Penny said fiercely. ‘How long has Daddy been gone?’

  They all just looked at each other, not knowing what to say, surprised they hadn’t noticed Walter was gone and confused they hadn’t noticed before.

  ‘It’s been some time now,’ said Khan. ‘Hasn’t it?’

  ‘He promised me he’d only be a minute,’ said Melanie, looking around her for reassurance and not finding any. ‘He didn’t even take his walking stick.’

  She gestured at it, still leaning against the wall. There was something very significant, and very sad, about the abandoned wooden stick.

  ‘The client,’ said Jeeves. ‘We have to check on the client, Leilah.’

  But I was already out the door.

  Only to come crashing to a halt, as I realized I wasn’t sure which room belonged to Walter and Melanie. I sniffed at the air, ready to follow my nose.

  Penny was quickly at my side, staring at me anxiously. ‘Are you smelling blood again, Ishmael?’

  ‘Yes,’ I said. ‘And a lot more than before.’

  ‘Does this mean Daddy’s dead?’ Penny said steadily.

  I was ready to say yes, but I held it back. As long as there was a chance …’Let’s find out,’ I said. ‘Which is your parents’ room?’

  By now Jeeves and Leilah had caught up with us. They both had guns in their hands again.

  ‘Everyone please stay put in the drawing room, while Leilah and I investigate,’ he said firmly.

  ‘Yeah, right,’ said Penny.

  ‘Where are they?’ I said.

  She gestured at her parents’ door, and immediately we were both off and moving again. Jeeves and Leilah hurried after us, Leilah growling and swearing under her breath. I could hear the others bringing up the
rear. They wanted to know what was happening, and none of them wanted to be left behind. And then Melanie went right past me. Running to the room she shared with her husband.

  She called out loudly: ‘Walter! Walter! Are you all right? Answer me, Walter!’

  ‘Please, Mrs Belcourt!’ said Jeeves immediately. ‘We don’t want to alert anyone we’re coming!’

  She ignored him, calling out her husband’s name again and again, until she came to the door to her room and stopped abruptly, because it was open. Just like Roger’s. Melanie stood very still, staring into the darkness before her. She started shaking and whimpering. Jeeves and Leilah quickly took her by the arms and moved her gently but firmly to one side. Melanie was stiff as a board, staring into the dark with the wide eyes of a frightened child. I’d let Jeeves and Leilah get ahead of me, just so they could do that. Partly because I’m not good at comforting hysterical people, and partly because I wanted them all out of the way, so I could be first through the door.

  But in the end I hesitated, because Penny was with me. I could have asked her to stay back, but I didn’t see the point. I knew what she would have said. Jeeves glared at me as I stood before the open door, staring into the darkness beyond.

  ‘I should go in first!’ said Jeeves.

  And I nodded, in agreement. This close, I didn’t need to enter the room to know what had happened. The thick coppery smell of spilled blood was heavy on the air. Jeeves and Leilah handed an unresisting Melanie on to Khan and moved forward, holding their guns out before them. They each took one side of the open door, peered into the gloom, and scowled at each other when they couldn’t make anything out. Inside, there was only an ominous quiet. I stepped forward, reached round the door and turned the light on.

  And there was Walter Belcourt, pinned to the far wall of his bedroom with one of his own family weapons. A bear-hunting spear had been rammed right through his chest, leaving him hanging high up on the wall. Like some ancient butterfly on display. He hung limply, like a rag doll. His face was entirely colourless, drained of blood. No effort had been made to hide the true cause of death, this time. The savage teeth marks stood out clearly, against the torn and ragged flesh. Blood had spilled all down the front of him and was still dripping slowly from his dangling feet. The vampire had made a real mess of him. A feeding frenzy? Or just a sign that the killer didn’t care any more? That it wanted us to know what it was …?

  I stood very still, looking around the empty room. There was a gap on one wall, an empty plaque that had once held the boar spear. The killer had come here, done its work, and left, and no one noticed.

  Jeeves and Leilah moved quickly round the room, looking at everything … and finally lowered their guns as they realized they weren’t going to find anything useful. Jeeves leaned in close to study the bite mark on Walter’s neck. He looked simply … disbelieving. Leilah looked sullenly angry, as though their client had let them down by going off and getting himself killed.

  And then Melanie came forward, to stand before her dead husband. We were all so taken up with what had happened, no one had given a thought to her. She took in what had been done to her husband and cried out, once. A loud, horrified, almost animal sound of grief and loss. She sank to her knees before the impaled figure on the wall, put out a shaking hand to the dangling feet, and then pulled it back again as blood dripped past her fingertips. She shook her head in silent denial, her shoulders rising and falling as she sobbed.

  And part of me wondered: Is she overdoing this?

  Penny moved slowly forward, to stand beside her mother, staring up at what had been done to her father. Her face was pale, but controlled. ‘Oh, Daddy …’ she said.

  She looked back at me, as though she didn’t know what to say. I put out a hand to her, and she grabbed it with both of hers, squeezing it tightly. Like someone drowning, hanging on to the only lifeline.

  Penny shook her head, looking at her father. ‘Daddy and I never did get on, but … he had been trying harder, just recently. I should have tried harder too, but … I wasn’t pleased at the thought of James coming home again. I was jealous of him, you see. For getting Daddy’s attention so easily. Even though James was the one who left and I was the one who stayed. Or, at least, I came home at regular intervals. Now, I’ll never know whether Daddy and I might have worked it out. Oh, do keep the noise down, Mummy! All that weeping and wailing isn’t helping anyone! I’m sure you’ll find another meal ticket, soon enough.’

  Melanie broke off from her weeping. She lurched to her feet and glared viciously at Penny. ‘You don’t care. You never cared about him! Unnatural child!’

  ‘Maybe if I’d had more natural parents,’ said Penny.

  Melanie wasn’t listening to her any more. She’d already gone back to staring pitifully at the body pinned to the wall.

  Jeeves and Leilah exchanged a look, took Melanie by the arms again, and led her kindly but firmly out of the room. She didn’t want to go, and tried to fight them, but Jeeves and Leilah were professionals. They had a job to do and weren’t about to let anyone get in the way. Even the client’s widow. Jeeves spoke sharply to Khan and Sylvia, put Melanie in their care, chased them out of the room, and shut the door firmly on their faces.

  As the door closed, I could hear Sylvia saying, very shrilly, ‘I’ve got to get out of here! I’ve got to get out of this house!’

  I looked at Penny. ‘We have to work the room. Gather what evidence we can. The vampire must know you and I know. It’s not bothering to hide its tracks any longer.’

  ‘Give me a moment, Ishmael, please,’ said Penny. ‘I can’t do the detective thing. Not just now.’

  I gave her hands one last reassuring squeeze and moved away to join Jeeves and Leilah.

  ‘Thought it best to close off the crime scene,’ said Jeeves. His gaze was steady enough, but his voice was just a bit shaky. ‘There’s got to be hard evidence here, somewhere.’

  ‘We’re beyond clues, now,’ I said. ‘I know why Walter was killed. And how.’

  Leilah looked at me sharply. ‘You do? You know why somebody stuck a bloody big spear through him?’

  ‘That wasn’t what killed him,’ I said.

  They both looked at the bite mark in Walter’s neck, even though it was something they clearly didn’t want to do.

  ‘Of course it wasn’t the spear,’ said Jeeves. ‘The blood only came from the neck wound. Nothing from where the spear went in. And there’s blood splatter on the wall, right there, at neck height, from where he was standing when he was attacked. The killer pinned him to the wall after he was dead. How much strength would it take, to lift a man that high and then drive the spear home?’

  ‘What the hell happened in here?’ said Leilah.

  ‘We need to get everyone back into the drawing room,’ I said. ‘I don’t think it’s safe for any of us to be out of sight of the others for long.’

  ‘Hear that,’ said Jeeves.

  Back in the drawing room, Melanie sat slumped in an armchair, staring blankly ahead of her, lost in her own grief. At least she’d stopped crying. Penny started to go stand with her, and then changed her mind. She stood alone, Khan stood alone, Sylvia stood alone. No one wanted to be too close to anyone else. Jeeves and Leilah closed and locked the drawing room door and put their backs against it. And then, everyone looked at me. Because it was clear to everyone that I knew something.

  I took my time looking round the drawing room, making sure everyone was there. I even counted them up twice, just in case the vampire was messing with my thoughts. ‘All right,’ I said. ‘Who left this room, after Walter did?’

  There was a lot of people clearing their throats, and then not saying anything. It was obvious none of them were sure. They all looked confused and didn’t know why.

  ‘I suppose,’ Khan said slowly, ‘we were all arguing so much that no one noticed. I think most of us stepped out, at least for a moment, at one time or another. For various reasons …’

  ‘I left the roo
m, for a while,’ said Jeeves. ‘I went down the hall to open the front door and check on the weather. See if it had let up any. But I told Leilah I was going to do that. And I was only gone a minute or two.’

  ‘That’s right,’ Leilah said immediately. ‘I can confirm that.’

  ‘The storm was just as bad,’ said Jeeves. ‘So I came straight back. Leilah was in charge here, all the time I was gone.’

  I looked at Leilah, who shrugged, uncomfortably.

  ‘I let Sylvia leave, to use the toilet.’

  ‘I wasn’t long!’ said Sylvia. ‘I had to go!’

  I looked at Melanie, but she was still too upset to respond. I looked at Khan, and he shrugged helplessly.

  ‘I don’t know, Ishmael. I didn’t go anywhere, and I don’t remember anyone else going anywhere. I know people came and went, but I wasn’t paying any attention. Which is odd. You would think, under the current circumstances, that I would be watching everyone like a hawk. Why didn’t I notice Walter was missing for so long?’

  ‘There is a reason for that,’ I said. Everyone looked at me then. Even Melanie. ‘The killer has been messing with our heads,’ I said. ‘Interfering with our thoughts. There is no easy way to say this, so I’ll give it to you straight. The killer is a vampire.’

  I braced myself for loud arguments and angry disagreements, even a blunt refusal to believe, but in the end they all just looked at me. As though I’d made a stupid and very inappropriate joke. They’d all been through too many shocks and losses and emotional upheavals. And then Jeeves nodded, slowly.

  ‘I saw the bite marks on Walter’s throat. Human-sized.’

  ‘You mean … our killer is one of those head-cases who gets a kick out of drinking blood?’ said Leilah, scowling hard as she considered the idea.

  ‘No,’ I said. ‘Unfortunately, this is the real thing. A vampire. Blood-drinker. Undead.’

  ‘Oh, come on!’ said Leilah. ‘There’s no such thing as the real thing! There is no such thing as a vampire! It’s just a fairy tale, a horror movie … What are you trying to pull here?’

  ‘All right, that’s it!’ said Jeeves. ‘No more theories, and no more discussion. Leilah and I are the professionals here, so we are taking charge of the situation.’