The No Bad Boy Rule (Rule #2)

by Ashley Erin

  Realizing I still haven’t responded to Peyton, I type out a response. Avoiding the inner turmoil is easy. I’ve grown accustomed to ignoring things I shouldn’t.

  Dax: Of course. I will come get you after class. You can have my room, and I will sleep on the couch while we figure everything out.

  Peyton: I knew I could count on you. Fuck sleeping on the couch. We’ve shared a bed before, nothing has changed. And if you’ve gone all proper on me, I will crash on the couch.

  “Well, that should be interesting. I think I better find a cheap futon and make room somewhere.”

  “Pardon?” Ava looks over at me and smiles, my lips tug in response. How she does it, I don’t know, but she never fails to make me smile for real.

  “Nothing, I was just talking to myself.” She looks so disappointed that I want to punch myself. Even if the side of me that is altruistic wins out over the selfish side of me, I still want to be friends with her. And she did say I could talk so her, so . . .”Sorry, old habits die hard. I need to find a cheap futon somewhere. My friend, Peyton, from my old life of mischief and mayhem, needs a place to stay while she gets her life together. I’m sure it’s against housing rules, but I told her she could always count on me.”

  “My parents have a futon in the basement. I’m sure you could have it. I can ask if you want.” Professor Williams walks into the classroom, whiteboard marker in hand and starts jotting down equations.

  “I would appreciate that.” She nods and quickly types out a text, flashing me her phone to show she inquired.

  We’ve managed to ignore what happened in the hall completely. I want to ask her what’s going on in her head, but I don’t. The less I know, the better.

  It’s dark by the time I arrive at Peyton’s apartment complex. This area is shady, and I’m glad she won’t be living here anymore. Peyton’s job within the gang was a blackjack dealer; she loved doing it, so I’m curious to see why she wants out.

  Bounding up the stairs, I pound on her door. “Peyton, it’s Dax.”

  The door swings open, but instead of Peyton, Ivan greets me. “How’s my favorite drop out?”

  “Ivan.” Nodding at him, I push past him into the studio style apartment and see Peyton has two small suitcases sitting on the floor. She is seated quietly on the sofa, tears streaking down her pale face. “What’s going on here?”

  “I just came to remind you both what you’re giving up. Playtime is over; it’s time to come back. You can even replace Tom as my second in command.” His voice makes my whole body tense. Despite his pleasant demeanor, I know the true person that lies underneath.

  “I think I speak very clearly for both of us, we’re done. We’re not coming back. I’ve made that clear for months, and I will help Peyton. We’re not lifers, Ivan. I believe you even said that to me when I first joined.” Turning my back on him, I walk over to Peyton and pull her into my arms. “It’s okay, Pey. C’mon.” She sniffles and follows behind me as I gather her suitcases. She looks so small despite her tall frame, shoulders folded in. That’s what Ivan does to people; he makes them feel incapable of surviving.

  “You have it all figured out. That’s fine. Just remember when you’re talking to all your new friends where you came from. Will they still look at you the same if they knew it all? You think you can make up for five years of gang life and have normal relationships. Either you lie or the way they look at you changes.” Ivan loses his composure. I’ve never seen him like this, but his words eat away at me. This is his specialty, shoving your worst fears into your face.

  “I guess I can only hope to prove them wrong if that’s the case.” Resting my hand on Peyton’s back, I guide her out of the door.

  “You will never be good enough for them, your friends, or potential employers. Once they know the truth, you won’t be good enough.” His words follow me out of the apartment. One last taunt to haunt me when I’m trying to sleep tonight.

  Turning away without responding, I slam the door behind me. Silently, I guide Peyton to Andie’s SUV. Holding her door open, I lean in and kiss her on top of her head. “I missed you, Pey.”

  “I missed you too, D.” Closing the door, I walk around the vehicle and get in the driver’s seat. “You look good. Don’t listen to him, anyone worth anything to you will see past your history. I believe that.”

  “What changed for you? Last time we talked, you had no interest in leaving.” Changing the subject, I grin when I see her roll her eyes. She’s like Ava in that sense; she’s somehow managed to read me better than most.

  “Tom was pressuring me to work in the new club they opened. A strip club. I have to admit, I went and worked there for a few weeks, but I couldn’t handle it. Those hands grabbing at me, it brought back too many painful memories. The girls started offering me drugs to cope and last night when I finished a dance, I took something. I can’t even remember what, but when I woke up, I had no idea where I was. It scared me, D. I texted you right away.” She starts crying again, looking at me with shame in her eyes. “I broke my promise to you. I can never get that back.”

  Slamming on my brakes, I turn my hazard lights on uncaring that I’m in the middle of the street. Turning towards her, my face is stern as I speak. “You listen to me. You didn’t break your promise. I’m here aren’t I? You asked me for help when you needed it. That was your promise to me. Now stop crying, it makes me want to resort to violence.”

  She nods and I start driving back to Parkland. I could kill Tom for putting that pressure on her. We all know her history; she was only supposed to deal blackjack.

  “How do you like being a student? Living a normal life?” She pulls the visor down and starts fixing her makeup.

  “I like it. Having something to do every day makes being normal easier. Ivan’s right, I have secrets, and I am scared they will look at me differently. I’ve let little things out, but they don’t know everything. I’m just trying to do what I’m supposed to.”

  “Don’t listen to Ivan. He’s just pissed off because the newest crop of recruitments suck. Dax, you were never meant to be there. Sure, you were good at what you did; you’re good at whatever you decide to do. It will work itself out. Me, on the other hand, I was raised in that community. I’m a high school dropout who knows how to deal blackjack and apparently be a stripper. My brother is in the Vipers, and I’ve been part of that circle since I was nine years old. Nine years of my life spent surrounded by those people. You’re going to be okay. I believe that, because if you’re okay, you can help me be okay.” She reaches over and punches me on the shoulder.

  “Let’s make a deal. You be my reality check, and I will be yours. Tough love and all that shit.” Handing her my phone, I gesture to it, “Text Andie and tell her we’re on our way. Her boyfriend’s parents dropped off a futon for you this evening. She can’t wait to see you again.”

  Peyton grins at me and nods, typing quickly. “I can’t believe it’s been almost two years since I’ve seen her. Now enough sappy shit.” She leans forward and turns on the radio, cranking it to earsplitting volumes. Laughing, I join her in singing along to the lyrics of Earned It by The Weeknd. We continue to sing along to the radio the entire drive.

  This is always our way. Straight and to the point.

  Signaling to turn towards Parkland, I grin at Peyton’s expression. Turning the music down, I look at her. “If you’re going to start fresh, why not do it by the mountains?”

  “Wow. I can’t wait to see them in the daylight. I’ve never been to the mountains before.” She stares at the apartment complexes, most of them dark. “These are the dorms? I wondered how you were fitting a futon into those miniature rooms from the movies.”

  “Yeah, since most of the students reside on campus they built apartment complexes. I can’t remember how many buildings there are. I’m not a good tour guide.” Shrugging, I hop out of the car and grab her suitcases.

  “Dax, I won’t ever be able to repay you for this.” She holds the door open for me and
I stare down at her with a glare.

  “Don’t even think about it. You’re family.”

  Taking a deep breath, I lead her to our apartment. Tomorrow everything will change, the scale is about to tip, and I’m the deciding factor. I’m just not sure if I’m ready for it.

  “Ava! Are you ready? Andie invited us over at ten, it’s now five minutes til.” Lucas knocks on the door of the bathroom where I’m getting ready. Like I need to be reminded what time breakfast is at?

  “Almost.” I don’t know why I’m putting in the effort to look nice, it’s just breakfast. Dax has seen me at my worst before. The difference is, this time I’m meeting someone from his past. A woman. I hate to admit it, but I feel jealous that she knows part of him I don’t. The rational part of me says I have no right to feel jealous.

  Yesterday he came to my rescue. That guy was not listening to any of my cues, physical or verbal. Dax came storming in like a furious bodyguard. I’ve never seen him look so terrifying or so attractive. I’m sure I got a glimpse into what he used to be like.

  My mind focuses back to the woman I’m about to meet. He called her a friend, and I wonder if they were ever anything more.

  Applying one final coat of mascara, I open the door. Lucas stands on the other side waiting impatiently, his foot is even tapping. “Wow! Are we having breakfast with royalty? What’s with getting all made up?” He pauses as I shuffle my feet and watches me carefully. I can practically see the lightbulb go off in his head. “Holy shit! You have a thing for Dax and now he has a house guest . . . who is a girl.”

  Glaring at him as he laughs at me, I brush past him. “Shut up.”

  “What happened to not dating bad boys anymore? Although compared to Dax, Joe is like a pussy cat.” He opens the door for me, crossing the hall. Teasing me loudly. I hope no one hears this.

  “Lucas, seriously. We’re not dating, he is my friend. I just felt like dressing up a little.” Ignoring his knowing look, I open the door and shove him inside. Taking a deep breath, I prepare myself to meet a part of Dax’s past, a person who may provide insight into the man who berates himself almost daily because he doesn’t think he’s good enough. He’s completely unaware that he does it; it’s so ingrained into his being.

  Shit. Haven’t I done the same thing? Categorized him as a bad boy and therefore not dateable simply because of the energy he gives off and the fact he has a tough past, rather than recognizing that aside from all of that he has demonstrated on multiple occasions how big of a heart he has, just how generous he is.

  I’m a shitty person.

  Following Lucas into the kitchen, we both freeze by the sight that greets us. Dax and Andie are laughing as a tall, like model tall, young woman gestures animatedly. Her jet-black hair with vibrant purple tips is cropped in a sexy pixie cut that teases her jaw. Even in oversized sweats and a racerback tank top, she could walk the runway.

  Self-consciously, I straighten my body to my full five-feet-nine inches. She’s at least five inches taller than I am. The same height as Dax.

  “Hey, guys! This is Peyton. Peyton this is my boyfriend, Lucas and his sister, Ava. Ava is one of my best friends. She’s the one that painted the sunset you were admiring in our living room.” Andie introduces us as she walks over and kisses Lucas.

  “That was you? I am envious of your talent. I have no skills like that.” Peyton smiles at me, making me smile in return.

  “Thank you.” Moving to sit next to Dax at the table, I watch Peyton move comfortably around their kitchen. She seems so confident in herself, and I wonder if I exude that kind of confidence. I feel like I think about every action I make before I make it, I wonder if people think about things like that or if it’s just me.

  We all help ourselves to the food in the center of the table, idly chatting about how good everything looks. Silence takes over the room as we eat and I can feel the words bubbling to the surface.

  Taking another bite, I try to hold back my nervous chatter. It’s futile, but a girl can try. I manage to hold it in less than two minutes, and I’m counting every second.

  “Peyton, if you want to try painting, I have some extra canvases and old paint brushes. I could teach you some fun techniques that I have found to be therapeutic. Not that I’m saying you need that, I’m just saying, for me, it helps me think.” Shoving more food into my mouth, I stare at my plate as Lucas tries unsuccessfully to hold in his laughter. I see Andie elbow him from underneath my lashes. Well, I’ve now insinuated Peyton needs therapy. I’m such an idiot.

  Dax leans over and nudges me, waiting for me to look at him. Sighing, I turn my head and meet his hazel gaze. His eyes are filled with humor, and he is smiling at me. “That’s very sweet Sunshine.” Staring at him as he looks over at Peyton, I slowly follow and see her looking between us.

  A slow smile spreads on her face. My gut tells me she just picked up on my crush. Girls are intuitive about that stuff, and I’m ready to crawl under the table and curl into a ball. “I would like that. I am looking into getting my GED since I dropped out of high school, but other than that I have a lot of time.” Peyton seems to be genuinely interested, and I admit, the idea having someone to paint with will be fun.

  We finish eating and migrate into the living room. Peyton sits on the floor even though there is room on the couch; she seems to shy away from being too close to people. “So how did you and Dax meet?” Lucas asks. I love my brother some days.

  “Well, we met five years ago through my older brother. We had the same circle of friends and just clicked. One night some guys were giving me a hard time, and Dax took care of it for me. Ever since then he’s taken me under his wing and treated me like a sister.” Lucas accepts her response, but it feels vague. It’s interesting when you hang out with someone who spends so much time trying not to give too much away you start to pick up on the nuance in others.

  “How many brothers do you have?” Curious, I try to learn more about her. Part of me is genuinely curious, even more of me still hopes to learn more about Dax.

  “I have three brothers and a half-sister. We’re not really close; there is a big age difference between all of us.” Peyton scrunches her face in discomfort. She is as uncomfortable talking about herself as Dax is. Fascinating.

  “Family isn’t always biological. Sometimes the people you choose to surround yourself with becomes your family.” Dax smiles and leans back, resting his arm over the back of my chair. Is this an unconscious movement? His arm brushes against my neck, I hold my body very still to resist shivering at the warmth of his arm.

  Dax has a tendency to observe everything around him, his words and actions seem thought through and hold a lot of weight. Has he noticed my crush? Some of the things he has said and done seems to have hidden meanings, but I’m overanalyzing things. I have a tendency to do that. The realization that I am unfairly categorizing him based on my previous experience has been eye opening. Have I been acting differently, giving my inner turmoil away?

  I wish I could shut my brain off, just be natural, and open myself to any possibilities. My mind just doesn’t work like that, not anymore.

  The ringing of my phone startles me out of my thoughts, glancing down I sigh and answer. “Hi, Joe.” The chatter around the table silences. Great, an audience.

  “I wanted to know when you are free to have that dinner.” Lucas narrows his eyes and the realization that everyone can hear the entire conversation puts a stone in my stomach.

  “I’m at school until tomorrow afternoon, but I could do tomorrow night. Otherwise it has to wait until Saturday.” Keeping my tone friendly, I’m hoping this will be the beginning of a cooperative co-parenting team. I’m not getting my hopes up.

  “Saturday works better for me. Why don’t I pick you up, you drove for the visit.” My arm kind of droops and I stare at my phone for a moment before lifting it back to my ear. That was actually thoughtful.

  “Oh. Umm, thank you.”

  “How does six o’clock sound?”
>
  “Perfect, I will see you then.” I’m still in shock at the difference in our conversations as we say goodbye, and I hang up.

  “Did you just set up a fucking date with Joe?” Lucas gapes at me incredulously, not bothering to hide the disapproval in his tone.

  “It’s not a date. We’re discussing our plan for Noah and what the hell brought this change about.” I’m defensive, and I know it doesn’t add credibility to the words I’m saying. Lucas opens his mouth in what I’m sure will be an impressive lecture, holding my hand up to stop him I push my chair back. “I appreciate the breakfast, guys, but I’m feeling a little sick. Please excuse me.”

  Exiting the apartment, I feel instant relief. The last thing I need is to deal with this in front of everyone. I’m perfectly capable of managing Joe on my own. Groaning as I shut the door to my bedroom, I regret leaving so abruptly. It was rude, and I could have just shut Lucas down instead.

  Flinging myself onto my bed, I close my eyes and ponder all the changes in my life. It seems like everything is happening at once and even though it’s all been good so far, I find it overwhelming trying to compartmentalize my life.

  Life is messy, and I know better than try to do this, but as I lay there, I find it soothing to section off the areas I need to deal with knowing that at some point they will collide.

  The door shuts quietly behind Ava, everyone staring at the empty space by the door.

  “I feel like I’m missing something.” Peyton breaks the silence.

  “Joe is my nephew Noah’s father. I use the term father very loosely. He broke her heart and has been a jackass to her ever since.” Lucas grinds out. If it wasn’t for the hold Andie has on his arm, I’m sure he would be out that door and giving Ava a piece of his mind. “Recent change of heart aside, I don’t trust him.”

  Looking down at the empty chair beside me, I ponder the idea that this could be a date. She seemed defensive. Jealousy surges through me that he might have a second chance when I haven’t even earned the right for a first one.