by Ashley Erin
He doesn’t give me a chance to say anything, so I wait for him to take a breath before I cut in. “It is fine, Dax. Relax.”
“Fine? That does not mean fine in girl talk. That means you’re pissed off at me. I truly have a good reason, I know you’ve dealt with this kind of shit from Joe, but this is different.” His voice is low and I can hear him pacing around his apartment. Andie’s voice fades as he walks away from her and gets louder as he walks towards her. Listening to the background, I’m pretty sure I hear Lucas shout in excitement.
“It really means I’m fine. What is going on over there?” Hearing his voice makes my earlier anger and paranoia fade away. I trust Dax, I trust him more than I trust myself a lot of the time.
“It’s a long story. This morning Andie came in. Her court date was moved to today, and she only found out this morning. I’m pretty sure the lawyer’s assistant is going to be reprimanded tomorrow. She asked me to come with her for support, and I couldn’t let her down. That’s the only reason I didn’t show up today.” The background noise disappears and I hear a door close.
“Of course. I wouldn’t expect you to ditch her for sledding. I was mad at first, but I trust you Dax. I know you will never not show up without good reason.” Curling onto my side, I cradle the phone to my ear. It wasn’t until I heard him say my name that I realized how much I missed him and hearing him talk has given me enough to last until I see him tomorrow. “How did court go? I’m hoping by what I heard in the background I’m about to hear good news.”
“It’s very good news. Dad got charged with assault. There was also a charge associated with his intent. The judge decided that without intervention, Dad would have killed Andie. He’s on his way to prison, and the likelihood of him being released is low. We were in there for hours; he had a bunch of outstanding charges from trafficking, other assault charges, and theft. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Andie so relieved as when she heard the judge’s verdict.” The happiness in his voice carries through the phone and I rejoice for Andie.
Getting off the bed, I put the phone on speaker and set about pulling out my paints. I need to use these feelings and put it on a canvas. “What a huge relief. She can finally put all of her fears behind her.”
“Even better, Mom and Norman showed up. Andie’s lawyer called Mom up to testify against Dad and she finally got justice for the years of abuse he put her through. We went out for dinner to celebrate.” Shuffling rasps over the phone, Dax’s voice sounding as if he’s right in the room with me when he speaks again. “I never believed anything like this would happen. I think we are all stronger for it.”
“I think life has a funny way of testing you when you need it the most. I needed it when I was fifteen. You and Andie are stronger than any other two people that I know. I’m proud to have you in my life.” The feeling of calmness that fills me as my brush dips into the paint, I stare at it for a moment before setting it aside. Dipping my finger into the paint, I go by instinct as I slowly fill in the canvas.
“I have so much more I need to say, but I’m being summoned to celebrate. I wish you were here.” He calls out to Lucas, who’s muffled voice comes through the phone so distorted I have no idea what he is saying.
“Of course. Go. I will see you in math tomorrow.” His hangs up and I dive into my painting. It needs to be perfect to capture this moment. A moment worth hanging onto.
I’ve been parked outside of Ava’s house for twenty minutes. After hanging up with her and spending some time with the two lovebirds, I thought it seemed like a good idea to surprise her. Really, I was just disappointed that my afternoon with her and Noah was interrupted, even if it was for a good reason.
The front door opens, and I see Jules come out onto the porch. Too late to turn around now.
“I was wondering how long it would take before you finally came to the door, but it is too cold for you to sit out here. Go on up, Ava is in her room.” She winks at me as I pass.
Stopping at the bottom of the stairs, I turn to look back at her. “Thank you.”
When I open Ava’s door, I see her sitting in the middle on her floor staring at a canvas. “I seem to have a habit of interrupting you while you are painting.” She squeaks in surprise as she turns to me with wide eyes. Before she can get up, I’m on the floor pushing her onto her back. “I hated the idea of not seeing you today.”
Closing the rest of the distance, I cradle her head as I devour her lips, the ache that has been building all day finally subsides. I’ve been so careful to be on my best behavior, my control around her is lacking. Right now, I can’t think of why I thought it was so important to hold back.
Ava arches into me, responding eagerly to my assault on her mouth. Her hands tug on my hair; God, I love it when she does that. My body responds and she moans when she feels my erection against her hip. “Bed.”
One word and I’m picking her up tossing her playfully onto the bed before making sure the door is locked securely.
My heart thuds as Ava slowly removes her clothing, laying back naked before me. Every inch of her is perfect. Scowling when her hands cover her stomach, I lean over the bed and move them. “Don’t. Every single part of you is beautiful. Never hide from me.”
Her hands fall to her sides and she licks her lips as I toss my clothes aside. I love that it’s an unconscious movement; it makes her even sexier because she isn’t forcing her reactions. They are real, just like her.
“I need you.” The rest of my control evaporates and I lower myself over her, groaning as her hand wraps around my cock. My hips move with a mind of their own, finding a rhythm as I lose myself in her eyes.
“I love you.” The words are out. It’s the first time I’ve said them to a woman. Her hand stills as she looks at me, eyes wide.
“I love you too.”
Crushing my lips onto hers, kissing her deeply ignoring my need for oxygen. My hands move over her body, worshipping every inch. Using one hand, I pin her arms above her head and tease her clit with the other. I need to bring her to her peak before I completely lose myself.
“You’re so hot, so wet. I’m going to make you come so hard, you’re going to have to bite me to keep from screaming.” Her breathing becomes erratic as my fingers hook inside of her moving quicker and quicker until her eyes are squeezing shut with the effort not to make a sound. Putting pressure on her clit, I go harder until I feel her teeth sink into my shoulder as she reaches her climax.
Releasing her hands, I quickly sheath myself, filling her tight pussy. She’s still pulsing, squeezing me tightly and I don’t waste any time. Thrusting hard and fast, it doesn’t take long to build her up again. My hands make their way back to her wrists, restraining her as I fuck her relentlessly.
Watching Ava have an orgasm is unlike any other experience I’ve had. Instead of immediately trying to seek my release, I revel in the blissed out look on her face, amazed that I put it there.
Ava pulls her wrists from my hands, gripping my hips and pushing me until I’m on my back. Hands planted on my chest, she moves her hips with a force that surprises and arouses me. My cock hardens more as I feel myself reaching the brink of my control. I love that she will tell me what she wants and take control. With her, I don’t mind sharing.
My body shudders in pleasure as my orgasm rips through me. Ava moves harder as she tightens around me, leaning her body down to kiss me passionately. Our moans fill the room as we come down, bodies moving slower and kisses becoming deeper and less rushed.
“Stay the night.” Ava whispers against my lips, her breasts teasing my chest as she rests on top of me.
“Are you sure? I don’t want to cause any discomfort.” I want nothing more than to stay and finally sleep with her in my arms for a full night. Waking up with her still there.
“You’re staying the night.” Her tone is firm as she gets off me, finding some sleep shorts and a tank top. “I need to find you something to sleep in.”
She searches through her drawers be
fore abruptly leaving the room. Disposing of the condom, I find my boxer briefs and slip them on just as she comes in with a pair of sweats I’m assuming are Lucas’s.
“I hope these fit, you’re a bit bigger than he is.” Clasping my hand around hers, I tug her towards me, kissing her thoroughly before releasing her.
Pulling the sweats on, they thankfully fit decently well everywhere except the length. Ava rolls over from where she has laid down in bed and starts to giggle. “Men should not wear pants that show their ankles. Oh! I need my phone; I must take a picture of this. It’s excellent bribe material.” She reaches for her cell, laughing as I pounce onto the bed making her bounce. Pinning her down, I wrestle her phone from her hand and set it out of reach.
“Not happening. You better be careful. Otherwise, you’re going to be in trouble.”
Her chin juts out, and she arches a brow at me. “Oh yeah? What are you going to do?”
Leaning down, I start nibbling on her neck teasing her in the ways I’ve discovered she loves. Moving lazily down her shoulder, I bite her gently grinning as she pants softly. Kissing my way up to the sensitive spot below her ear, I suck on the spot until she is moaning. Her hands reach up towards my hair and just as her fingertips tease the strands, I flop down beside her. “Goodnight.” Pecking her on the lips, I roll over and close my eyes, waiting as she lays there in stunned silence with a grin so big it hurts my face.
I’m expecting her to say something, anything to get me to finish what I started.
I should know better, Ava rarely does what I expect.
Her breasts softly press into my back as her hand teases my hip, running a finger inside the waistband of my boxers.
Growling as my dick responds immediately, Ava laughs softly. Her fingertips are brushing against my skin in a feather light touch. My cock jumps eagerly as she runs a finger down its length, swelling as she grabs it in her fist and firmly brings her hand up to the tip. She releases me from her grasp and rolls over. “Goodnight.”
Her body is shaking with laughter. She wins; she will always win just so I can hear her giggle. Flipping over, I wrap her into my arms pressing my arousal into her back and nuzzling my nose into her neck.
Her hand moves to slip between us, but I stop her. Holding her in my arms tightly. We don’t say anything, our hearts falling into the same rhythm as we slowly drift off to sleep. She fits me perfectly, and I’ve never felt so content, so at ease with someone in bed with me.
Distorted light shining through my curtains wakes me from a dreamless sleep. Dax’s face, soft in sleep, greets me as I open my eyes. Smiling, running my fingers through his hair, I’m about to close my eyes again when I hear the thundering footsteps alerting me my alarm clock is about to burst through the door.
I wince as the door collides with the wall with a bang realizing I forgot to lock it. I feel rather than see Dax leap out of bed in surprise. Noah skids to a stop mid room, eyes wide as he sees Dax in my room with me.
This wasn’t well thought out; I haven’t even discussed Noah with Dax yet. Swallowing the shame I feel, I get out of bed with a calmness I don’t truly feel. “Morning Noah.” Ruffling his hair, I kiss him on the forehead. Noah has greeted me this way ever since he could walk, only missing it when Mom kept him busy so I could sleep in.
“Momma, can I bring my Nintendo to Show and Tell today?” Nodding, my heart sinks as he leaves the room without saying anything to Dax. A first for him.
“Shit.” My knees are shaking, so I move back to the bed and sit down. “I’m so fucked up. I knew he would come in here, and yet it didn’t cross my mind that we haven’t even eased him into the idea of us and what that even means. We don’t even really know what it means right now. We’ve had sex, went on a date, said I love you, and here we are. I’m okay with being unconventional, but this is out of control.”
Looking up as Dax shuts the door, he’s not looking at me as he responds. “Out of control?” My pulse pounds at the low tone in his voice.
“Everything up until this point has felt right. Things with you feel right and I could pour every ounce of my being into you. The thing is, I can’t forget that with me comes Noah, and I won’t let him be impacted negatively by this. I don’t even know how you see yourself in Noah’s life.” Fisting the sheets in my hands, I watch his back move with his breathing.
Slow. Precise.
I know these signs, I’ve watched him enough to know that this is controlled and calculated Dax. The side to him I hoped I would never see in relation to me.
Yet when he turns around his eyes are vulnerable, and I realize that I have as much effect on him as he does on me. The fear he has at affecting Noah negatively is also apparent and for the first time I worry that fear will drive him away.
Stalking towards me, he sits down next to me on the bed, leaving a space between us. Noticing the look of hurt I’m sure is on my face he links his fingers with mine. “I have a hard time thinking clearly when I’m touching you,” he explains. “Ava, the last thing I want is to impact Noah negatively. You’re wrong, though, we do know what this is. We just don’t need to have a long conversation about it. I want Noah to know we’re together, more importantly, I want him to be okay with it. Let’s talk to him about it. He’s a smart kid, and there is no sense in trying to do this how others think we should, we’ve paved our own way so far, and it’s working.”
“Okay, you’re right. Besides, I like that we are straying from the norm. That’s how most of my life has been; it makes sense this would work out that way too.” Standing, I pull him up and enfold myself into his body.
“A woman has admitted a man is right. This needs to be recorded.” I can feel the grin on his face.
Glaring at him mockingly, I jab him in the side. “Shut up.”
Moaning at the hand weaving its way into my hair, I almost forget what we need to do when he gives it a gentle tug. “Don’t give me that look.”
“You started it.” Scrunching my nose when he laughs at my disgruntled tone. “Before we talk to him, I need to ask something . . . Noah is a permanent fixture in my life. He needs stability and consistency. How do you see yourself in his life? This has the ability to impact us and our relationship.”
“Every moment of time I spend with that little boy, he ingrains himself further into my heart. I want to be a solid part of his life. I will be who you need me to be for him. I know that being with you means being involved in Noah’s life and that is exciting to me.” Watching him carefully, I see the sincerity in his eye and hear it in his voice. That’s all I need to know right now, we can figure out the rest as we go.
Slipping my hand into his, I lead the way downstairs to talk to Noah.
We find him finishing breakfast in the kitchen. Smiling gratefully at Mom when she moves to leave the kitchen, I go and sit by Noah. “Are you excited for school today?”
“Yes! We have show and tell, and Mason said he is bringing his iguana. Can I get an iguana?” Noah’s eyes light up with hope while I cringe at the thought of having a pet reptile.
“I think we should stick to furry pets, like Miss Andie’s kitties.” Taking a deep breath, I try to figure out how to tell a five-year-old about my dating life. “Before we leave for school I wanted to talk to you. I wanted to tell you that Mister Dax is going to be around more now. He is very special to Momma, and I hope that you’re okay with that.” Watching him carefully, I wait for a reaction.
“Okay. Mister Dax, did you see my Nintendo?” Noah doesn’t wait for Dax to answer, he races out the door to grab his game.
“Well, I guess I made a mountain out of a molehill.” Relief washes through me and I sink into my chair watching as Noah runs back into the kitchen and shows off his new toy. My phone vibrates and I see a text from Joe, apologizing for his behavior last night. Sighing, I type out a quick, forgiving, response. Everyone knows about Dax now except for Joe and since he is actively trying to be a decent father I know at some point that I need to tell him.
&n
bsp; That’s going to be fun.
The following week I still haven’t had the courage to address my relationship with Dax with Joe. His texts are coming less frequently, but often enough that I know he hasn’t let go of the idea of getting back together. Checking my phone, I smile at a goofy selfie from Kensi and Andie. It’s been pleasant not dreading every time my cell notifies me of a text.
Tucking my phone away, I flip to a blank set of pages in my notebook and pick up my pen, idly doodling while I wait for class to start. I smile at Dean as he walks into class with Morgan on his arm, but it drops quickly when he starts to settle in the desk behind her instead of coming to his usual seat next to me. “Dean.” Calling him, I gesture seriously when he glances in my direction.
“I know that look. What did I do wrong?” He grins at me crookedly.
“Dude, are you seriously ditching me for the guaranteed hour and whatever I actually get to see you to sit next to your girlfriend? I don’t think so.” Pointing at the seat next to me, I glare at him until he sits down.
“You’re being a bitch.”
“No, I’m not. I’m simply doing what you asked me to three years ago.” He looks down in shame and I can’t help but soften. “Are you taking care of yourself?”
“Seriously, Ava, I’m fine. Not the girl I’m fine, but actually fine. I’ve been feeling better for two years now and I think I’m finally over it.” He avoids my gaze and quickly types something out on his phone.
“Depression isn’t something you just get over. Please just take care of yourself. Are you coming to the game night this weekend? You should bring Morgan.”
“I will be there.” Dean smiles at something he reads on his phone. Sighing, I open my notebook and start jotting down notes. “Don’t be grumpy. I’m sorry I was going to ditch you.”
Unable to fight the smile at the ridiculous pout on his face, I shake my head. “You’re lucky you’re basically family. Remember, I’m watching you.”
