by Zoey Derrick
“Is Dex…”
“He’s fine.” The scowl deepens just a little bit. “Kyle’s gone.”
“Whoa. What are you talking about, he’s gone?” I move my foot from behind the door and open it a little further. I pick the wrong moment to peak my head out into the hallway.
“I don’t give a shit what you do or how you do it, find that son of a bitch and drag him back here kicking and screaming if you have to.” It’s Talon, yelling at some of the security guys. Then all of a sudden, Dex’s door swings open.
“Some people are trying to…” I hear him say but I can feel Talon’s wrath all the way down the hallway and Dex stops, no doubt he’s feeling it too. “T? What the fuck, man? What’s going on?”
“Have you seen Kyle?” Talon asks him and I move to stand in the hallway a little more. Making it more obvious that I’m actually there and listening to what’s happening.
Make this the second bad idea I’ve had so far today and I’ve been awake for ten fucking minutes. Dex steps into the hallway at the same time. I try to slink back into my room but he pins me down with that penetrating stare of his and I have a nearly uncontrollable urge to fall to my knees and grovel like an errant school girl and yet, I don’t feel like I’ve done anything wrong.
“Talon, we’re doing everything we can,” the tall one in the middle says. Mills, if I recall correctly. He’s Talon’s right hand man and also the head of the security team that surrounds the band. “We don’t know where he went after leaving the hotel. We’re working on tracking his cell.”
“Fuck it. Let him be. He has twenty-four hours to return or call. If we don’t hear from him, we’ll send out the dogs.” I watch as Talon’s shoulders slump and pain takes over.
“How’s Addison?” Dex asks in probably the sweetest voice I’ve ever heard and my heart breaks for what I did to him last night. He is a manwhore, there is no getting around that fact, but something about his concern and tenderness is pulling and tugging at what little resolve I had when I went to bed last night.
“She’s a fucking mess. We have to be at the studio in a few hours.”
“Cancel that shit,” Dex tells him, but Talon shakes his head.
“I need it, even if she doesn’t go, I…fuck, I have to outlet this somehow.” The wrath I felt earlier turns to sadness and I want to go to him, hug him, tell him everything will be fine, but the weight in my legs is too much when I see Dex hug Talon.
Who was I kidding?
God, I barge into this group of people, this fucking family, as evident by the hard-nosed assholian that is Dex Harris hugging his best friend.
I try once again to slink back into my room unnoticed, but I manage to capture Talon’s attention. I brace myself for the fury from my eavesdropping on what’s going on but instead he gives me a sad smile and pulls back from Dex. “She’s going to need you today,” he tells me softly and I nod. Dex smiles.
Knock, knock, knock…
“What?” I hear from the other side of the door.
“It’s me.”
“What do you want?” This time the voice is closer to me than it was the first time, so I know he’s moved to the door.
“Can you open the door, please?”
I hear the click of the security lock, the turn of the deadbolt and then finally the turning of the handle. When the door opens, the most sensual, sexy, tanned, tattooed and toned chest I’ve ever laid eyes on greets me. Though I’ve seen it before, my mouth still waters. I can’t stop staring, probably looking like a fool. There is a light sheen of sweat or water marking his skin. He’s either just gotten out of the shower or finished a workout, one of the two. No matter, I have the urge to lick the water from his chest.
“My eyes are up here, sweetheart,” he says in that slightly amused, slightly detached voice.
“Yeah, I know, I’ll get there,” I grumble and my eyes dart to his. He’s got a Cheshire grin on his face, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Hi,” I breathe.
“Hello.” His voice is harder, cooler than I thought it might be. After returning from the studio with Addison, she asked me to leave her be and gave me a list of things she would like me to do today. A list of things that will take me probably fifteen minutes to complete.
“Can we talk?”
He leans against the wall, crossing his arms. His leg is holding the door open. “Not sure we’ve got anything to talk about.”
“I think we do.”
He gives me a disinterested look and shakes his head, a slight frown marring his beautiful face. It’s a look I’m deciding right here and now, I don’t really want to see again.
“It’s done, it’s over with, and nothing we can do to change it, nothing to talk about.” Then he leans in and whispers, “You gave me head. Big fucking deal.”
“I think I should explain why I ran off so quickly last night.”
“Not sure I know what you’re talking about, sweetheart. We were done. I got off, Beck got off, and I think even you got off a few times. We all had orgasms and life moves on.”
His words twist like a knife in my back, but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. I came here hoping that what I feel when it comes to him is really real and not some infatuated fan girl moment that managed to suck off the sexiest drummer on the planet. In the distance, in his room, a phone rings. “If you’ll excuse me.” Unable to say anything further, I let the door close in my face and I lean my forehead against it. So much for the smile he gave me earlier. Something strikes me. Maybe I’d misread his smile. What if he was smiling, not at me, but at Beck? I’m such an idiot.
I go back to my room, dejected from my lack of conversation with Dex, though I’m not sure I really knew what it was that I was going to say to him.
Regardless, it was stupid of me to think that what I was seeing in his eyes last night was real. I go back to my room to lick my wounds and get back to work.
I work throughout the afternoon on the project Addison gave me. Updating some social media and making a few adjustments to her schedule. She looked awful. I hate to say that, especially about a woman as gorgeous as Addison, but she barely spoke to me or anyone else today. I can’t imagine what she’s going through; at least I’m not sure I want to try. Hopefully things will rectify themselves and get back to normal for her or she’ll be able to find a way to cope with a new arrangement. Though the way she looked today, I wonder if she’d ever be able to handle the loss of Kyle from their relationship.
About the time I’m wrapping up, Tori comes to my door and asks me to join her and the rest of the team in the hallway. I’m introduced to the entire security team. I recognize Casey and Troy from the bar last night. They were with Peacock and Mouse and they left with them too. Mills, I’ve met before, Bruce and Leroy are two of the biggest men I think I’ve ever seen in my life. Troy, Casey, Rusty and of course Beck were also there. Beck didn’t even make eye contact with me. Whatever, it just reiterates that Dex’s smile wasn’t meant for me and Beck’s avoidance tactic was either professional versus personal or an “I’ve already fucked you, nothing more needs to be said”.
After finishing my projects, I get really bored. I mean fuck; I’m in New York City of all places. I can go where I want and do what I want.
I decide to put on my walking shoes and meander around Times Square, maybe go do a little shopping in SoHo. Who knows, but it’s up to me to do what I want.
When I leave the room, Tori and Rusty are standing in the hallway talking. Though I don’t really know what about and I don’t care all that much, they stop and look at me when I come walking down the hall. I have my messenger bag slung over my shoulder and my coat hanging over my arm. “Going somewhere?” Tori asks with a half-smile.
I shrug, “It’s been a while since I’ve been to New York, thought I’d go wandering around for a while.”
“Alone?” Rusty asks.
“Yeah, why not?”
Both of them scowl at me. “Let us send someone with you.”
I
“Mills insists on it,” Rusty says very straight faced. I scowl at him. “No one out alone.”
“Kyle’s out there alone.” Both of them look crestfallen at my statement. “Look, I’m a grown woman…”
“So is Addison.” That’s all Tori had to say. I remember Dallas and then again in Kansas City. “One of us will lose our jobs if we let you go alone.”
“What would you have done if you weren’t in the hallway when I tried to leave?”
Rusty shakes his head. “That doesn’t happen very often.”
I raise an eyebrow at him. “Really? Because I managed to walk from Dex’s room to mine early this morning and no one was around.”
Rusty gives me a knowing smile. “Yeah, um,” he turns toward the elevator, “see the…” I cover my mouth in shock. “I was sitting down there, you just didn’t see me and me being the gentleman that I am…” He doesn’t finish, he just blushes slightly and I go red as a fucking cherry.
“Well, okay then, um, who did you have in mind?” I ask.
“Beck’s free.” I cringe and they both catch it. “We could send Casey or I guess I could go,” Rusty says. “I’m just coming on to take the night shift, but…” He looks to Tori for confirmation, she nods. “Or we have Casey. I can swap with him to take Eric and Calvin.”
“Anyone but Beck. I’ll let you guys hash it out while I go check on Addison. Is Talon back yet?”
“Not yet, but he should be shortly,” Tori replies.
“Okay, good. Can you let me in?” Tori turns and puts the key card in the slot, knocks, then opens the door.
I step inside and the door closes. “Addison?” I call out and get no response, at least not one that I can hear. I step deeper into the suite and most of it is dark, curtains pulled tight and only a light on in the second bedroom. I head for that light and see her sound asleep on the bed. I don’t really want to wake her, but I need to make sure she’s all right. I don’t make it as far as I need to in order to reach out and wake her.
“I’m all right,” she says softly. She’s been crying. Her voice is shaky with emotion and her eyes are red.
“Can I get you anything?” She just shakes her head. “I’m going to go out for a little while. I gave the detail my number, and you have it too. If you need it, call me and I’ll come right back.”
She nods. “Be careful.”
I smile. Even in her state of distress, she’s still thinking about other people, so I guess that’s good. “Want me to check on you when I come back?”
She shakes her head. I’ll decide later about that. “I do need you to do something for me though.”
I smile. “Anything.”
“Go to the studio tomorrow with Talon, he’s going to need some help.” She looks at me then, pleading with me and I can tell that her asking me to do that is a real struggle for her.
“How about we see how you’re feeling tomorrow and go from there?”
She nods and rolls back on her side. “I’m here, you know, if you need someone to talk to.”
“Thanks.” She gives me a very weak smile but says nothing further.
I leave her alone in her bed and step out into the hallway. Once again colliding with Dex and Beck. Shivers slide up my spine and I feel my nipples harden. I move my jacket to the front and interlock my arms, hoping to hide the evidence that seeing them both, together, turns me on. But unfortunately, it’s the asshat drummer I can’t take my eyes off of.
There is one thing that can be said for sleeping with nameless strays and groupies. You never have to see them again. But this one…she keeps popping up everywhere, and every time I see her, my dick gets rock fucking hard and it takes every ounce of willpower I have not to slam her against the wall and fuck her.
When she came knocking earlier, I’d only, not three minutes before, decided to let it go. Move on, go out tonight and find another nameless chick to get lost in, to extinguish this one from my mind, my body, and even my fucking sense of smell. I only pray that the maids actually changed the sheets so that her scent isn’t still clinging to them.
“Am I ready to go?” she asks. Wait, where is she going?
“Just about,” Rusty says then he turns to Beck. “She’s going out, I’m following her.”
“We’ll go too,” I blurt and just like that there are five pairs of eyes looking at me. Beck, Rusty, Tori, Mills, and lastly, the ones I’m trying to ignore, Raine’s. Why the fuck did I just say that?
“No thanks,” she says to me, rather coolly and maybe even a little too sharply and all eyes shift over to her. “I’m going out to have a good time, by myself.” With that she turns to leave, headed toward the elevator and I grab her elbow. She freezes up again and I release her elbow. “On second thought, I’m just going to go back to my room,” she says through clenched teeth.
Just like that there is a flurry of concern amongst everyone over her reaction. I freeze, realizing that I’m still holding her elbow. I let it go and she relaxes, but she turns back around and heads toward her room. “Raine, wait,” I say.
“No,” she states firmly and keeps walking. I start to follow after her and someone grabs my shoulder. I turn to see the hand is attached to Mills who shakes his head.
“You know the rules,” he says in a whisper and I nod. Mills is now going to go talk to her.
But he doesn’t move, he turns to Tori and nods. She dutifully follows after Raine who is shaken and fumbling with her keycard. My heart hurts. Concern rises in my chest and I can’t help the urge to go to her, but Mills, being the dutiful bodyguard that he is, won’t let me. The rules are simple, security handles it first. I watch as Tori gently takes Raine’s keycard from her and her eyes shoot up. There is panic in her eyes, but she relaxes quickly, looking back at what Tori is doing and when Tori opens the door, Raine rushes in.
“What was that all about?” Mills’ tone is accusatory.
“Your guess is as good as mine,” I say, still looking at Raine’s door.
“So what just happened has nothing to do with you?”
“Probably does because you know what an asshole I am. But she froze up the first time I touched her elbow, well before anything happened. It also happened later in the evening, way across the bar from us by an unknown man. It’s obviously a trigger for her, but I…” My blood runs cold and I look back at her door. “What I wouldn’t give to be a fly on the wall,” I mutter.
Tori follows me in. “It’s our policy to know everything we can about our clients.”
“I’m not a client,” I snap.
“Yes, you are. The moment you showed up, you became our responsibility while you’re here and with us. Care to explain what just happened?”
“Not particularly.” I sit down in the chair opposite the room from Tori and curl my legs up underneath me. Compliments of that fucking dream last night, I am strung tighter than a violin. I had no business reacting that way.
“Was it Dex?”
“No.”
“Does it have to do with last night?” she asks.
I look out the window, overlooking Times Square below me, wanting to be down there walking around, but instead I’m having a mini panic attack. “Not directly, no.”
“I need you to explain.”
I give her a cold look. “I got drunk, decided to indulge in a fantasy that escalated to a semi-threesome with Beck. That ended up with me being fucked by Beck and Dex shutting down completely after he got his rocks off and I got my jab in before he could by leaving. I made the decision. I suffer the consequences of that choice. But the emotions it brought out in me were emotions I hadn’t felt in a long time.” I let out a slow breath. “I felt like a whore,” I breathe.
“You’re anything but that, Raine. Dex has a way of making women feel that way. Though I’m sorry you were trapped up in that, it’s how he operates.”
“Yeah, I know and I knew that going into the little adventure. I was drunk, uninhibited by my usual shyness and by the way he was acting, well, I figured it would be easy to deal with it and in all honesty it was. I just woke up screaming this morning.” By the time I finish my little speech, I’m whispering.
“Are there other triggers we need to know about?” she asks softly.
I look her square in the eye. “How?”
She gives me a half smile. “There are usually only two reasons a woman reacts to triggers… one is abuse and the other is an attack or…”
“Rape.” The word falls from my lips.
“That.”
She takes a seat on the end of my bed. She is the first person, aside from my therapist who hasn’t looked at me with pity in her eyes, only understanding.
“Other triggers?” she asks me.
“None that you need to worry about.”
“I think I do. I think we do.”
“No, it’s more physical, while being intimate. Which ultimately is what led to the start of my panic last night.” I go back to looking out the window.
“Which was? Did either one of those two hurt you?” Her voice is stern but not demanding.
“No. At least not intentionally.” Rather than beat around the bush, “Beck slammed into me really hard. Like I said, it wasn’t intentional.”
“All the same, we need to know.”
I look at her again. “I think it’s moot because I don’t intend to sleep with either one of them again while I’m here.” She nods her understanding. “This conversation…it’s…”
“It’s between us. I just need to let Mills know and pass along the elbow trigger to the guys, so that they can be aware of signs of distress while with you.”
I nod, fighting tears. “It’s just my left elbow. It’s like it’s permanently bruised, so any grabbing sends me into a panic.”
“What about the right?” she asks, true curiosity in her voice. I smile a little.
“No.”
“Will you be all right?”
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