by Zoey Derrick
“Oh, I bet I can make you apologize.”
“Is that a challenge, Mr. Harris?”
“You bet your ass, sweetheart.”
She freezes on me for reasons I don’t understand. I release her, afraid I’ve said something that’s made her freeze up. “What?” I finally say.
“Get out,” She whispers.
“Not until you tell me what I’ve done.”
“If you don’t know, then it’s not worth the effort to tell you.” She finally looks at me. Her eyes are vacant, like she’s checked out on me. “Please leave.”
She walks into her room, rounding the corner to where her bed and her chair are.
I head for the door. I open it and then slam it shut without stepping outside. What I did strikes me like lightning and I immediately understand her reaction and I want to beat myself over it. The nickname. I called her sweetheart. The term I use with the women I want to fuck.
“Asshole, cocksucker, motherfucker,” I hear her say. I didn’t leave. I couldn’t. She’s a fucking princess and doesn’t deserve my bullshit. I fucked up, I reverted right back to my old way by detaching myself. “What the fuck just happened?” I hear her ask out loud.
If it wasn’t for the fact that I’m so torn up about this, I’d laugh. I can hear her moving around. My cover, my guise, my weakness for her is going to be revealed and I have no way out without her knowing I’m still in the room listening to her rant. If she goes anywhere other than her bed, she will see me.
I hear her sob.
I turn around in time to see a pillow flying across the room and hitting the wall next to her dresser. “Argh!” she cries out in frustration. ‘Why? Why do I fucking do this to myself?”
I hear her shifting again, then I hear feet stomping across the floor. Just before she screams.
She looks at me, looks at the bed, the pillows, then back at me. “Get out,” she shouts at me.
“I can’t,” I admit softly.
“You were so eager to get out of here five minutes ago, but yet there you stand. Listening to my rant, watching me throw pillows. Are you enjoying the show?”
I shake my head.
“What the fuck just happened?” she asks.
“You freaked out.”
“No shit, Sherlock. Tell me something I don’t already know.”
“Because I called you sweetheart?”
She raises an eyebrow at me. “So? I shouldn’t expect anything different from you, yet here I am, pissed the fuck off because…well, because I guess I did.”
“I saw you warring with yourself, and it wasn’t until I was about to leave that it hit me, why you froze. You caught onto my terms, but when I said it just now it wasn’t…” I can’t believe I’m telling her all this. I could have just been the complete and total asshole that I am and left. Left her to suffer not knowing until another time, but I’d know, I knew what I did wrong. “I was ashamed. It made me realize how much I don’t deserve what you were offering me.” I take a deep breath. “Raine, I’ve slept with more women than I can count. In fact, I’ve never counted. If it wasn’t sex, it was a blowjob or…”
“Shut up,” she snaps, putting her head in her hands.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her. “I’ll go, I wanted to, but I just couldn’t leave.”
“Why?”
“Because I was hoping to give you an explanation, then you started ranting and well, here we are.”
“Well, if it makes you feel better, I’m sorry I kneed you in the nuts.” She smirks. “Better?” She cocks her head at me.
“Only if you mean it.”
“Ask me again tomorrow and maybe I’ll feel a little guilty about it. But I wouldn’t hold your breath.”
“I don’t want your apology, Raine. I don’t need it. I fucked up, I know your elbows are some kind of a trigger for you. I wish I knew why. But it was either that or you would fall, in which case I might have gotten a foot instead of a knee.” I give her a half smile.
“Probably.” She chuckles. “Next time, just get out of my way.” She raises an eyebrow at me.
“I wanted answers.”
“To what?” she asks.
“Where were you tonight?” I ask her back.
“Around.” I give her a ‘you’re-full-of-shit’ look and she shrugs. “You’re not my keeper, Dex,” she says deadpan. “I was done in the bar, so I went for a walk. Big fucking deal.” She’s getting testy again and I’m getting hard. Painfully hard.
“No, I’m not your keeper,” I tell her. “Good night,” I say and open the door. She’s right, so was Tori. I don’t understand why I care so much about her, where she is or what she’s doing, but I do and it pisses me off.
“Night, Dex,” she says and I leave her room. Rusty never ventured far as he’s standing outside Raine’s door. “She gone?” I ask and he nods. I need a fucking shower, and my bed.
You know, had she been anyone else, I’d be fucking furious over the fact that she kicked me in the junk, but fuck me, all I want to do is fuck her senseless. We get about ten feet away from her door and it opens. “Dex?”
“Yeah?” I turn around. She’s leaning against the frame, looking sexier than ever.
“I’m sorry,” she says sincerely with a small smile.
I smile back. “Apology accepted. Good night, princess.” She lights up at the nickname I’d inadvertently given her, but it fits her to a T.
“Good night,” she says as she steps back into her room, before closing her door, dead bolting it and flipping the chain.
“Princess?” Rusty raises an eyebrow at me.
“Don’t you fucking start too.”
He laughs, much harder than he probably should at my discomfort with the subject. I shoulder check him. “Keep your pie hole shut, will ya? I don’t need the rest of the guys to know.”
“Yeah, all right.” I tell Rusty good night and slip into my room, shed my clothes and climb into the shower, still hard as a fucking rock and my balls hurt. I take comfort in the pain. The pain that washes away what happened with Kyle today, the pain that washes away the fact that I am left to fuck my own hand instead of her. Raine is the star of tonight’s fantasy.
I can’t dwell on what happened with Dex. I was kind enough to apologize for kneeing him in the nuts, but I can’t even begin to analyze his reaction. I expected more of a fight out of him. Instead, he slams me up against a wall and kisses me. And he was hard as stone when he did it.
A shiver of disgust creeps over me. Jesus, for all I know he fucked that chick downstairs before making out with me. I should shower first before going to sleep but I’m too tired to give a shit.
When morning dawns, I get up early, shower and have breakfast delivered so that I don’t have to go downstairs to eat. Casey is all set to take me to the hospital where I am meeting Cami and I just need to meet him in the hallway when I’m ready. I finish up with ten minutes to spare if I hope to make it on time and I step out of my room. Beck, Casey, and Troy are in the hallway. They’re talking in hushed tones but whatever it is sounds urgent. “What’s going on, guys?” I ask as I get closer to them.
Beck turns around and eyes me up and down. I want to roll my eyes. You’ve been there once, buddy, won’t happen again. At least that’s all I can manage to think. “Nothing,” Beck says.
“Really, because it sounds like something is up. If it’s band related, with Addison out of commission, I need to know what’s going on.”
Beck rolls his eyes. “One of our buses was in an accident.”
“Oh shit, was anyone hurt?”
Beck and Casey both shake their heads at me. “There were a few roadies on board when it happened, but everyone is perfectly fine. Equipment might be another story.”
“How so?” I raise an eyebrow. I know they have two buses here. One is the band’s and the other is the crew’s. “It wasn’t the band’s bus, was it?” I ask.
“No, it was the crew’s. But on that bus is a trailer and the trailer took the br
unt of the damage.”
“What’s in the trailer?” I ask them.
Troy answers, “Suitcases, amps, and Dex’s set.” I cover my mouth in shock as a door opens just behind me. “Well shit,” I hear Dex say. I want to roll my eyes. “Mills is bringing Talon to the venue now. Beck and I are going to take Dex so there are more hands to help out. Bruce is getting dressed and will take over the hall watch for now, and Leroy is off rotation. So if you go to the hospital, you will need to stay until Addison is either discharged or someone is free to bring you back. Kyle may be joining us at the venue shortly.”
“Okay, so equipment damage, trailer totaled?” I raise an eyebrow and three heads nod. “What about the show tonight?”
That’s when Dex speaks up. “We won’t know until I can examine the set. Drums are finicky, if there’s even so much as a pin sized dent, it won’t sound right. Which means in order for tonight to happen, I’ll need a new set.”
“What can I do?” I ask softly, still looking at Dex.
Beck is the one who answers. “Go to the hospital. Take care of what you need to there. Hang out with Addison because Talon’s already gone and I wouldn’t be surprised if Kyle is too when you get there. Just keep her company, if you don’t mind. Help her get back to the hotel and then we will go from there.”
“Do we know if she’ll be able to perform tonight?” Dex asks the same question I was thinking and all three of the guys shrug. The elevator dings and Bruce walks off and into the hallway. His hulking size seems like a waste to be sitting around in the hallway and frankly I haven’t seen him a whole lot since I’ve been here. Seems like he could be better used at the venue.
“For now, let’s plan on a no for Addison,” I say, better to assume no. “I’ll take care of that side of things as soon as I know,” I tell them and Casey looks at his watch. “Yeah, we need to go.” I look at Troy, who’s like my safe haven between Beck and Dex. “Call me if you guys need anything.”
Troy nods and Casey and I step into the elevator and descend to the parking garage.
“Are you staying at the hospital?” I ask him.
“Yeah, until Kyle leaves. I’ll go with him, or if he’s gone, I’ll stay until replaced or Addison is discharged.” I notice that Casey, like Beck, is looking me up and down and I want to roll my damn eyes.
“What is it with you guys?” I ask exasperated.
“What do you mean?” Casey asks, completely unashamed.
“You, Beck, Troy? Don’t you guys have girlfriends or something?”
Casey lets out a humorless laugh. “No. We don’t have time for that sort of thing.” He crosses his arms over his chest. Not bad, if you’re into the wiry ones. But he’s not my type.
“Did you guys do this with Addison when she showed up?”
“Uhm.” I catch a glimpse of him as he turns red and then casually watches the descent of numbers. I know we’re almost there. “No.”
“I don’t know if that’s insulting or flattering,” I tease him.
“I’m going to go with flattering.” Casey smiles. “Look, it’s just, well, you’re gorgeous, just get used to it and remember that we’re a bunch of horny bastards that barely get a chance to look for a girlfriend, let alone…” He drifts off in embarrassment.
“A one-night stand?”
“Yeah, that,” he says shyly.
Finally our descent is over and the doors open. Casey ushers me to an SUV and opens the back door. “I don’t need a chauffeur. I can ride up front.”
Casey rolls his eyes and shuts the back door. “As you wish,” he says as he opens the front passenger door.
“Thanks,” I say as I climb in.
We don’t talk anymore on the drive so I take to checking emails and messages, scanning the inter-webs for any sign that the accident is making headlines. There’s only one small thing. Then my phone rings.
“Raine,” I answer.
“Raine, this is Mitch Aarons from the LA Times.” My heart skips a few beats. “Cami forwarded me your number. I’m calling in regards to a rumor that 69 Bottles was in an accident this morning.”
Shit, what do I say to this?
“I’m wondering if you’d like to clarify for me.”
“The band was not in an accident this morning. One of their buses was in an accident. However, there are no injuries and aside from some damage to the bus, everything is fine.”
“Great, do you know what happened?”
“No, I haven’t been given the details at this time.”
“Will the show be cancelled for tonight?”
I try not to laugh. “We’re still assessing the situation at this time, however, we are confident that everything will go as planned and on time.”
“We understand that Addison was taken to the hospital this morning following the accident, can you elaborate on that?”
“I’m sorry?” Where the hell is this coming from?
“Was Addison injured in the accident this morning and taken to the hospital?”
“No, she was not on the bus this morning.”
“So she’s in the hospital?” he counters.
“No, I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re referring to.”
“So she’s not in the hospital?”
Shit! “Not that I’m aware of.”
“Okay, thank you, Raine.”
“No problem,” I say and he disconnects.
“What was that all about?” Casey asks.
“A reporter, looking for dirt on the accident this morning, but he brought up something interesting. I thought Addison’s hospital stay was confidential?”
“It absolutely is.”
“Then why was he probing for more information about her being in the hospital? Though he played it off like she was on the bus this morning and then taken to the hospital after. Of course I told him there were no injuries.”
“Fucking reporters.” I watch as Casey grips the steering wheel a little harder than necessary and I can feel the tension. There’s more to this reporter thing with him than he lets on. But it’s none of my business, so I don’t press it.
“They’re just doing their job. But what surprises me is the fact that Cami sent him to me. I realize Addison is out of commission but…” I let the thought fade away. Cami is notorious for throwing curveballs at people just to see how well they handle things. For all I know, she set Mitch up. Baited him or even called in a favor.
“Man, I’m sorry,” Talon tells me.
“Nah, don’t stress it. If we were anywhere but here, this would be a major issue,” I tell him as I’ve just hung up with a local retailer. I need four drums replaced and my crash too. Dents in that aren’t a big deal, but it’s practically folded in half. “We’ll get ‘em picked up and get them set up. Stop stressing over it.” I grab Talon’s shoulder.
“I don’t mean to, it’s just; fuck, so much shit going on right now.”
I nod. “I know, brother, but it will all work out. She’s doing better, Kyle’s back, things will be fine. I promise.” I give him a smile.
“Yeah, I just, I’d convinced myself he wasn’t coming back.”
“So you don’t want him back?”
“Oh fuck that, I’m glad he’s back, it’s just… well, fuck. I don’t even know anymore. Addison was so kind and so forgiving of him. I don’t know if I can be that forgiving,” he says sadly.
“Give it time.”
He eyes me suspiciously. “Look at you, giving relationship advice, what the fuck happened to you these last few days? I know I haven’t been around, but damn.”
“Knock it off, I’m still the same dick as always.”
“Bullshit,” he states.
I scrub my face. “Honestly, I don’t fucking have a clue.”
“Get laid,” he tells me, which is usually his way of telling me to take a fucking chill pill.
“I’m fucking trying.” And that ain’t a fucking joke. Last night, Jesus, I was so fucking glad that the detail was freaking ou
t about Raine. Despite my reassurances that she’d come back eventually, they were still worried. Regardless, it gave me the out I needed to avoid sleeping with that chick.
God, when I’d walked into the bar last night, she’d been sitting there, alone. It was rather depressing to see it, but when she realized I was alone, she lit up a little bit. I’m sure she had a few choice words for me since she disappeared after the brunette sat down. She’d gone to the bathroom on our way in, but the moment I saw Raine sitting there, I immediately regretted the idea of having her walk in behind me. I hoped the brunette would take her chance and bail on me. No such fucking luck as it was.
“What do you mean, you’re trying? Since when do you have a problem getting a piece of ass?” Talon asks me with a smirk on his face.
“I don’t. That’s certainly not the problem.” No, it’s the fact that I can’t get a black haired, ice blue eyed beauty out of my head long enough to focus on someone else.
“Then stick it and get over it.”
I stuck it and can’t get over it. “Yeah, tonight should be better. Amped after the show usually helps.” He shoulder checks me.
Shortly after that, Kyle showed up with an update on Addison. He said that Raine and Cami were over at the hospital and for the briefest of moments, I entertained the idea that Raine would be stuck at the hotel tonight with Addison, just so I wouldn’t have to look into her eyes while someone else threw herself at me. Then again I cant seem to get my dick into anything else with or without her around, maybe it’s a sign that she needs to be the last notch in my bedpost for a while, or at least I need to make it a full dent and finish what we’ve started.
No such fucking luck. Addison and Raine showed up at the venue some time later, after we’d gone and gotten the new set and set it up. The heads were tight and I broke three sets of sticks trying to break them in. “I fucking hate new drums,” I grumble as I wipe sweat off my face and throw the used sticks in the box. For some reason, the girls go crazy over my sticks and they usually get handed out backstage after the show.
