by Stead, Nick
“Do I know you?” I growled.
“Nope, but I’ve heard of you. I didn’t believe the tales until I saw you for myself though.”
Panic shot through me. “Tales? What tales?”
“Some say the rogue wolf of Yorkshire isn’t an escaped wolf at all, but a monster of myth and legend. You’ve got the attention of paranormal investigators all over the world. Some are sceptical of course, but a few of them are planning werewolf hunts next full moon. I wasn’t on the hunt for anything but as I was driving along I spotted you in the fields. Thought I was seeing things at first but if there was even a chance you were a real life monster, I had to come see.”
I hadn’t even realised I’d wandered close enough to the road to be seen. Inwardly I cursed my own carelessness. Out loud I said “I didn’t hear a car.”
He shrugged. “You seemed pretty engrossed in whatever you were stalking.”
I didn’t believe him, but it didn’t matter. I couldn’t let him live. The curious humans out to find evidence of the supernatural might not want to kill me, but if humanity had undeniable proof of our existence it could only make matters worse than they were already. Some would want to capture us alive and parade us like freaks to line their wallets, and others may well take the same stance as the Slayers, prepared to kill us to save human lives. They might even invest more money into experimenting on us on a grander scale than the Slayers could currently manage, which had to be a fate far worse than death. As innocent as this man seemed, he posed too great a risk for me to let him walk away.
“If you had any sense, you’d have stayed in your car,” I growled, letting the transformation take hold.
A flicker of fear passed across the young man’s eyes but he continued to gaze at me with a sense of awe, and maybe even longing as my face bulged into a snout. He raised his hands, palms outwards, and I was impressed when his voice barely shook. “Wait! If the legends are true, you started off human. I’m sure you were a good kid, and I think there’s still some good left in you. You don’t need to kill me, dude. I won’t tell anyone about you, I swear. Just let me go and I’ll leave you be; I won’t come snooping around here again, I promise.”
“Good, evil. I’m done asking those kind of questions. Maybe I was good once, but now I am a ‘real life monster’ and killing is all I have left. I can’t let you live, but even if I had a choice I would still choose bloodshed. It’s what monsters do, is it not?”
“What if I could be of some use to you? I could be your, like, servant, or what do the vampires call them in books and the movies? Thralls? I could be your human thrall and help you find victims. Why should vampires have all the fun? And killing people, well, everyone dies eventually anyway. I’m not really a fan of people either.”
“And what’s in it for you?”
“If I prove myself, will you turn me?” His eyes shone with excitement and his face was full of hope.
“It doesn’t work like that. Only certain humans can become werewolves and I don’t sense the wolf blood in you needed to pass on my curse. Death is all I have to offer. Besides, you wouldn’t want this.”
His face fell. “Immortality, power. Who wouldn’t want it?”
“It’s called a curse for a reason. But I guess I could let Lady Sarah make you a vampire, though you may die anyway. Paranormal investigators aren’t the only ones hunting us.”
“Nah, man, vampires never really interested me,” he said, but he must have felt the allure of immortality because he paused to consider his options. “Well, maybe I’ll think about it but I don’t want to sign up for vampirism just yet. Let me help you as a human for now. Don’t you get lonely out here? Maybe a bit of human company is what you need. I’m Luke, by the way.”
Unwittingly, he’d struck close enough to home for me to hesitate. If I let him go he was a liability, but my heart ached for greater companionship than Lady Sarah could offer. If there was even the smallest possibility he could help fill the growing emptiness, I was sorely tempted to take that chance.
“How do I know I can trust you?”
“And who would believe me if I told them what I’d seen?” he laughed. “Other than the few who want to believe so badly that they’re planning to come look for you. I’m sure you would be long gone from here before any of them could arrange a search of the area, though. I’m really no threat to you.”
“You remind me of the boy I used to be, when I was stupid enough to wish for this cursed life,” I growled, which was true. He even wore the same kind of gothic shirt I’d favoured and dark jeans. My gaze lingered on the Grim Reaper design, envious and wistful. I forced my eyes back up to his face. “So this time I’ll let you live. But I can’t trust you, so if you come looking for me again, then I will kill you.”
Luke didn’t seem overly happy with my answer, but no matter how badly I wanted a friend, I couldn’t trust him. Letting him live might be a mistake but I reasoned that the Slayers were good enough at covering up our existence to make the risk of leaving the odd witness alive fairly low. If anyone talked, I felt I could rely on my enemies to contain the damage. They’d cleaned up my messes often enough, or at least I assumed they had since I’d not had any similar encounters with humans prior to this one. And killing him was also risky if we didn’t want the Slayers back on our trail. If I let him go and he kept his word, our enemies need never know we were in the area.
There was also the fact that my bloodlust remained dormant. I wasn’t ready to shatter my hopes by taking large prey, only to find the kill remained just as unsatisfactory. That small hope was the only thing keeping me going through the long days and nights spent with only the vampire and my inner demons for company.
My thoughts turned to Lady Sarah and what she’d have had me do. I doubted she would approve of my decision to let him walk away but I had no intention of telling her about the encounter. Maybe it would have been wiser to keep the human nearby till nightfall, when she could have used her powers to make him forget about what he’d seen. But I didn’t want another lecture on how careless I’d been through the rage driven nights that had probably led to this, so I dismissed the idea, childish and reckless though it was.
“Go, before I change my mind,” I growled. “I need to feed now.”
I turned my back on the guy before he could say something that might prove too great a temptation. The sound of grass trampling underfoot came a moment later. Satisfied that was the last I would see of him, I resumed the hunt for animals.
I couldn’t escape Lady Sarah’s lesson that night.
“We now have only three weeks before the next full moon and it is becoming vital you learn to control your urges, if you wish to remain in one place for any length of time,” she said. “Wait here while I find prey for us to work with. You might want to transform at least part way to raise your hunger. We need you able to resist even the strongest of bloodlusts, if you are to ever have any hope of managing without my intervention.”
I still wasn’t happy about being put through this new trial but deep down I knew she was right. So I took my hybrid form while she went to hunt. It wasn’t long before she returned with a ram and the rope from inside the barn.
The sheep was surprisingly docile around me. He stood staring into space, not even grazing, let alone running in panic like he should have been. He had to be under Lady Sarah’s spell.
Lady Sarah tied the sheep to a tree and released him from her hypnotic power. The animal came alive again. He gave a terrified bleat and tried to run, but the rope yanked him back. There was a time when I would have felt sorry for the poor creature. This lesson was going to be as much a torment for him as it was for me.
“Now, let the bloodlust rise up.”
With a sigh, I focused my senses on the ram as he strained to break free of his tether, letting my mind fill with thoughts of ripping into soft flesh and gulping down chunks of meat. But no matter how hard I tried to reawaken my bloodlust or how much my stomach ached with the need for food,
only the empty chasm remained. And the hunger alone was far from the point of being a struggle to resist.
I gave another sigh, this time in frustration. “It’s not working.”
The vampire opened up a gash in the sheep’s side and I breathed in the scent of fresh blood. Still I felt nothing.
Lady Sarah’s impatience returned. “Then either change forms a few times or let the wolf take control. Both of you need to learn to show restraint; I can work with him first if you would prefer.”
I took the transformation fully to wolf form and surrendered control to that other part of me, all too happy to let him suffer her training for the night. It would be another nice reprieve.
Even though the bloodlust was born of the human within me, it was there alongside the hunger the instant I took control. With a ravenous snarl, I prepared to pounce.
“Better,” Lady Sarah said. “Now, let both your hunger and your bloodlust rage through you, but try and channel it if you can. Focus on the tree your prey is tied to and imagine that tree is an enemy. Your bloodlust can be useful in battle but only if you can learn to channel it – become too focused on a single target and it could cost you your life. The tree is the threat: make that your target, not the prey you truly desire.”
Her words sounded far away, my senses focused entirely on the pounding of the sheep’s heart and the blood pumping from the gash in his side. Drool leaked from my maw, slimy strings hanging down in anticipation of the meal he presented, and my mind became clouded by the red haze of my bloodlust once more. My hunger would not wait for Lady Sarah and her lesson. I lunged.
My jaws snapped on thin air, the vampire’s fingers tight around the scruff of my neck. I slavered and continued to snap at the meal standing just out of reach, straining against her grip in vain.
“Focus, wolf. Let reason guide you, not your instincts.”
Her words were like a niggling little itch at the back of my mind, swept aside by the force of the urge to feed. And that urge was growing ever stronger with my prey so close and yet so far. The world around me ceased to exist. There was only the hunger and the wounded animal that would satisfy it.
“Control yourself, wolf!” she commanded. “Fight these urges and channel the bloodlust into striking at your enemy. This tree is the threat, not the sheep.”
Still I continued to struggle, until weariness began to creep in and I relaxed in her grip, panting heavily. She led me back to my original position and released me, watching closely to see what I would do next.
Twice more I went for the sheep and twice more she held me back, just as my jaws were about to close on his throat. Then came the sound of footfalls, and while the vampire turned her attention to the potential threat, I struck again. My fangs pierced flesh and blood spurted. Success at last.
A hiss of frustration and Lady Sarah swept away, leaving me to savage the carcass with wild abandon. But once my reason returned I realised I’d failed the first test she’d given me, and I knew I was going to have to try harder next time.
Lady Sarah returned to find me standing over pieces of bloody bone and shreds of fleecy skin. I sensed her disappointment and bowed my head, my eyes on the ground.
“I suppose that concludes your training for tonight. We must continue tomorrow if you are to have any hope of mastering your urges before the next full moon, but we are out of time now. I still have to feed, before the return of the sun.”
“What about the humans?”
“They were not Slayers. I sent them back to the town whence they came.”
I snorted.
“Hide these remains then meet me back at the barn. I will need you to bury my coffin again.”
She went off to hunt in a blur of movement. I dug a shallow grave for all that was left of the sheep, then relinquished my control to the human. The hunger was bearable but I could still have eaten more, and I was craving my favourite prey. I didn’t trust myself.
The wolf might have considered the hunger bearable but my stomach was still rumbling and I wanted more. I didn’t want to hunt small animals again though. It was time to put my theory on larger prey to the test.
I had just enough sense not to turn to human victims. More livestock would do – anything big enough to spark my bloodlust when I killed it. And hadn’t I sensed a lack of satisfaction from my wolf half when I’d touched upon his consciousness after killing that first rabbit in this area? If a bigger kill brought him more enjoyment, hopefully the human part of me could share in that.
I could hear cattle nearby and set off at a run. The herd sensed me coming and a brief image of them stampeding through the town flashed through my mind. It didn’t bring me any amusement and my thoughts turned solely to the kill.
The animals were in fact running in the opposite direction, away from the town and towards the patch of nearby woodland. The fencing was no match for their terror. They charged towards it and broke through with ease.
I deliberately targeted the biggest animal I could see. She was a fine specimen, one any farmer would be angry to lose, but obsession with the idea of bigger is better drove me on.
My paws flew across the earth and over the broken fence. The cow had barely escaped the field when my jaws locked onto her hind leg and wrenched her to the ground. Her good legs kicked in a futile attempt to rise and flee with the others. It was too late. I was already striking again, this time at her belly.
Blood sprayed and organs spilled as muscle tore. I struck again, sinking fangs into flesh and shaking my head with all the savagery I could muster. Yet the dark desire to continue to rip and tear and slaughter mindlessly still would not come. If it hadn’t left me completely then it must be locked deep inside somewhere, and if the act of killing didn’t give rise to it, I was at a loss.
My despair took over. A year ago, it had come with the realisation that I would continue to kill and there was nothing I could do to stop it, short of committing suicide. And now I would gladly spill more blood, if only that life could flow into the empty husk I’d become. But there was no joy to be had in the cow’s death. My theory had proved false.
I wrapped my jaws around her windpipe and put an end to the animal’s suffering. Then I began to feed, resigned to my fate of a pointless, empty existence.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Return to the Lunar Madness
My hunger satisfied, I returned to human form while I had enough food to replenish the energy it cost, and picked more meat off the bones. The rest of the herd had fled, the world around me quiet in the aftermath of the chaos. But there was no peace to be had once I’d finished eating.
I looked down at my hands. So much blood. This had been another meaningless death, and for what? She had died so an equally meaningless life could continue. Was that the stirrings of my conscience deep down in this hollow shell? No. I hadn’t yet regressed to the state of guilt and remorse I’d been trapped in after killing Fiona. But there was no escaping the knowledge I was a killer – one who had left so many bodies in his wake he couldn’t even remember how many there’d been. And those deaths were beginning to seem more and more pointless as time went on.
Something crunched nearby. Footsteps? My head shot up in time to see the gun pointing at my head, and I dived into a roll, just as the man pulled the trigger. The gunshot rang in my sensitive ears, more noticeable in the absence of the rage. But I didn’t have time to recover.
With one fluid motion, I stood and turned to face my opponent. A jolt ran through me to find he was the same grizzled Slayer I’d seen that night they’d set the trap with the fire. He carried the same air of experience and lack of fear as before, his rifle unwavering in his hands.
My mind raced. I hadn’t been in the field that long; how had the Slayers found me already? Had they been on our trail all night, waiting for the opportunity to strike? Or had something else led him to me? I had to assume there were more of them. Surely they wouldn’t be so stupid as to send one lone recruit to take a shot at me, no matter how fearless o
r experienced he might be.
The older Slayer took aim a second time, his eyes as cold and calculating as any undead. I hesitated. My will to fight seemed to have gone the same way as my rage and bloodlust, either sucked into the empty void or locked away so deeply that it would take a lot to bring them to the surface. But had I also returned to the point of losing the will to live? My existence felt worthless again, but was I ready to give it up yet? I’d already discovered I didn’t have the strength to end it myself, but perhaps if the Slayers were to do it for me, there lay my salvation.
I couldn’t do it. Hell existed: Lady Sarah had told me as much. And I knew I must surely be headed there. That meant no peace for me in death, and if that Hell was as bad as the one I currently resided in, or quite possibly worse, I wouldn’t go there willingly.
I ducked as the old Slayer fired again, then turned and ran. A stinging on my scalp and the trickle of warm blood told me I’d been too slow in my hesitation. The aim of this guy was better than most of the other Slayers I’d faced – all those who’d lacked the discipline and experience to land a killing shot. It struck me just how lucky I’d been in our skirmishes so far. But I knew eventually my luck would run out.
Part of me wanted to look back at the seasoned soldier, to see if he was following or lining up another shot. I resisted the urge. Better to keep my eyes ahead and my speed up. There’d be no outrunning his bullets, especially in human form, but whilst moving I was a harder target to hit. With that in mind, I tried to avoid going in a straight line, zigzagging as I ran for the woods.
The trees created a wall of blackness more complete than the shadows of the open fields. I passed between them with a sense of relief. At least they provided some cover.
