by Stead, Nick
I met her gaze but made no effort to communicate. Being in wolf form gave me the perfect excuse for not having to talk to her, the wolven tongue still a mystery to the human part of me. She could say all she wanted in English, I just wouldn’t be able to answer. Not while my vocal cords were fully lupine.
“What I would not give for another coffin,” she said, flicking away a large clump of soil.
Her eyebrow raised when I didn’t attempt to respond. Surely she wasn’t surprised I didn’t want to talk to her? Whatever she was feeling, it slid behind that neutral face she was so good at.
“Come, you still have much to learn if you are to survive in our world.” She turned away, expecting me to follow.
You say that like we have a world, I thought to myself. In reality we lived on the fringes, caught between the natural world and the world of men, just as we were forever trapped between the living and the dead, so long as no one put an end to our unnatural existence. If the anger had still been there, maybe I’d have changed back to point that out, and how our only contact with others of our kind was through murder, and only then to give the prejudiced older vampires an excuse to execute me, guilty or not. How could she call that our world? Even if the other undead had some form of society which went beyond meeting to deal with any new threats, it seemed there was no place in that world for me. But try as I might to call on my anger again, the emptiness was just as complete as it had been before the brief resurrection of my rage. I resigned myself to enduring Lady Sarah’s latest trials.
She led me to another field full of livestock and bade me to wait while she secured more bait. The animal was a cow this time rather than another sheep. Its scent filled my nostrils and hunger battered my insides. I couldn’t help but whine with the longing to tear straight into the fresh meat.
“Not yet,” she said. “We have made some good progress, but your control is far from perfect.”
I growled. Her lessons were beginning to feel less like training and more like torture.
“Patience, Nick. You need to master these skills, now more than ever. It has been pleasing to see your lupine half successfully channel the bloodlust into attacking other targets, but the next step is for him to try to hold it, without allowing it to take over. Then we have to find a way to teach you to do the same. Once both parts of you are able to let it rise without attacking anything, and then fade away, we can consider your training complete.”
I snorted. She seemed more determined than ever to have me perfect my self-control, probably in the hopes the killings would stop, if I was indeed to blame. It wasn’t particularly comforting that she was starting to seriously consider me a suspect. Would she turn on me if she decided I was guilty? Only time would tell.
The nights wore on and the lessons continued. Lady Sarah never mentioned the last full moon and that began to bother me almost as much as her unwillingness to help had. It wasn’t exactly anger since my emotions were still lost to me, but there was almost some resentment there. The incident with Ulfarr was the beginning of it, but also when you’re around someone day in day out (or rather night in night out) for long enough they begin to grate on your nerves, and as long as she insisted on staying by my side, the feelings, for want of a better word, were building.
Little things start to annoy you until you can’t wait to get away for an hour or so. Granted we weren’t quite stuck with each other twenty four seven. The daylight hours were mine to do with as I wished, while she was of course forced to remain shrouded in darkness. But such freedom was short lived and once darkness returned I was forced to endure another night with her. I had no choice if I wished to survive, I knew that. And it seemed she was only trying to help, for which I supposed I should be grateful. She was under no obligation to help after all. Yet annoy me (again, for want of a better word) she did. I found myself longing for a new companion who truly understood me, almost as much as I longed for my old way of life.
The full moon was drawing closer again. I was as restless as ever, and my daytime wanderings took me back to the hilltop overlooking the little village in the valley below. The temptation to return filled my empty heart. I turned my gaze skyward, looking for another sign. It was to find an unbroken wall of grey, heavy with the threat of showers. No rays of sunlight pierced the clouds this time, no symbols of false hope guiding me to fresh atrocities. The land remained as gloomy as my mood and I turned away. There was nothing for me down there.
Night fell and I returned to Lady Sarah. I imagined my eyes were as dull and lifeless as the sky had been, my motivation for more training at an all time low. She actually seemed to notice.
“Fear not, there will be no lesson tonight. I have business elsewhere.”
My eyebrows lifted in surprise. She’d barely left me alone all month, as though she thought I might run off and kill another vampire the instant her back was turned. “What business?”
“I cannot say. The less you know the better, for all our sakes.”
What the hell did that mean? If I hadn’t been so desperate for space, I might have pressed her. But by that point I was just glad of more time apart. She could keep her secrets. I would find something better to pass the night with than her lessons, and she could do as she damn well pleased.
Lady Sarah seemed to be expecting an argument. There was distrust in her eyes as she waited for me to say something more, and it only grew when I kept quiet.
“Do not do anything foolish while I am gone. I will return before the dawn.” She turned and sprinted away, swallowed by the darkness within seconds.
An icy wind whipped across the frost covered ground. Shivering, I let the transformation take hold, returning to my wolf form. Winter’s bite lessened as my fur sprouted, and I sprang forward the moment the change completed.
My paws rushed across the frozen landscape, faster than any mortal, and sure-footed where a human would undoubtedly have slipped. The lure of civilisation called to me again and a crazy idea was taking shape in my mind.
I ran all the way to one of the towns we’d not yet visited, slowing only when I’d reached its edge. There I paused, listening to the sounds of nightlife in the centre and feeling fresh hunger pounding the inside of my stomach. The wolf stirred, closer to the surface with the waxing moon and the constant shifting Lady Sarah had been putting me through. No. This hunt was not about flesh.
I slunk towards the nearest housing estate and wandered for a while, searching for more bin bags left outside for charity. My luck was in. I must have worked my way across almost the entire town before I found any, but there was a collection due in the last area I came to and I was able to hunt for more clothes.
Finding a t-shirt and jacket in my size was easy enough. The first two bags I tried didn’t have much to offer, the men’s clothes all several sizes too big. But the third one had what I needed for my top half. Shoes and trousers were another story.
I tore into a fresh bag when there came the sound of footsteps. My body froze, my ear swivelling in the human’s direction. Had the Slayers found me already?
The wind held no clues. It wasn’t worth the risk. I gripped the clothes between my teeth, and fled.
Back out on the moors, I made my way to the same rocky fissure I’d found for storing the blanket. It was only shallow, but it was the best hiding place our current surroundings had to offer. At least nature wouldn’t rob me of my prize. I was able to weight everything down, and I did my best to disguise the bundle from Lady Sarah’s eyes, just in case she happened upon the spot.
She returned at dawn as she’d promised.
“I see you were able to resist killing. Well done.”
I growled.
“Any problems while I was gone?”
I shook my head.
“Still no sign of the Slayers?”
I shook my head again.
“Very good. We will continue your lessons tomorrow night.”
With a sigh, I helped her dig a fresh grave. There was a faint scent of blood
on her dress and I wondered again what other business she could possibly have had. But I wasn’t willing to shift back to human form just to ask her. She probably wouldn’t tell me anything anyway, and the smell of it had my stomach gurgling again.
Once she was safely beneath the frosty soil, I went to hunt for what animals I could find in such bleak surroundings. A hare was foolish enough to bound out from his daytime shelter and I ran him down with ease, catching him in my great jaws and crushing his life with a single bite. The tiny morsel did little for the hunger but I returned to Lady Sarah’s grave and did my best to ignore it. Somehow I managed to drift off to sleep, nestled in the blanket.
I slunk through the streets of another town, three nights later. Lady Sarah had left me again to do whatever it was she spent her nights doing when she wasn’t feeding or supervising me, and I intended to make the most of it.
The world was quiet, most people asleep in their beds. My breath steamed out from my muzzle in hungry pants, and I looked on the houses with fresh longing. It took all my willpower to turn away, and continue down the street.
There didn’t seem to be any charity collections due in this area, and of course it was too cold and miserable to find washing hung out to dry. I wasn’t sure how else to steal anything without attracting attention from the locals, but I wasn’t ready to give up yet.
The smell of prey drifted through the streets. I felt the wolf’s mind rise up alongside my own, almost becoming one again. Only a thin wall separated our two different personalities. My paws started towards the scent of their own accord, my mouth watering at the thought of fresh meat. We’d gone hungry long enough.
I followed my nose to a back alley. Movement drew my eyes to the garbage strewn along its length, sleek bodies snaking in and out of the discarded packaging and half-eaten fast food. The rats froze as I padded over, then scurried for cover in the cracks along the walls.
Yet all was not quite still. A homeless man shivered among the rubbish, curled into the foetal position in a futile defence against the cold. Rotting cardboard rose around him to form a makeshift shelter, with a thin sheet of plastic for the roof. He must have been wishing for a warm bed as much as I was.
An empty bottle of whisky lay beside him. He reeked of the stuff, his breath foul as he muttered incoherently to himself, delirious and close to death. I could almost sense the cold creeping into his veins and freezing the life out of his body. He wasn’t even aware of me standing over him.
Drool spilled from my jaws and again I felt the temptation to sink my fangs into fresh meat. This one could even be considered a mercy killing. I would be putting an end to the man’s suffering, and then I could fill my belly with warm flesh and return to the moors well-fed and content. So what was stopping me?
I growled and turned away. The wolf fought me but I wasn’t ready to lose myself to him yet. Not when I still had other things to hunt for.
The vagrant’s tattered old rags were of no interest. In them I would have still looked an outsider, when the whole point was to blend in. I just wanted to walk among humans again and maybe feel a part of their world, even though I knew I could never truly return to it. So I continued my search.
Eventually I came upon a drunken guy, passed out on the concrete. He didn’t look to be much bigger than my scrawny human body, and his jogging bottoms seemed like they’d be a decent fit. They weren’t the kind of trousers I’d have chosen to wear but they would do.
The streets were otherwise deserted and there was no one to come to his aid. I shifted into my hybrid form and pulled first his trainers off, and then the trousers. He stirred as his joggers came free.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” He peered around him, struggling to focus on my monstrous form. “What the fuck are you dressed like that for? It’s Christmas, not Halloween!”
Quicker than a snake striking, I thrust a clawed hand at his throat. The windpipe collapsed beneath my fingers. His mouth opened and closed as he struggled to form more words, and failed without the air needed to sound them. Fear rolled out from his pores with the realisation he was dying. And the hunger returned with a vengeance.
I was about to fall on the man when a gun sounded in the distance. More Slayers. Time to make myself scarce.
My hands wrapped around the dying man and I hoisted him onto my shoulder, supporting him with one hand and lifting the clothes in my other. Then I fled, back to the wilderness where I could eat in peace.
The full moon was only one more night away. As reckless as I could be, I decided it was better to get it out of the way before venturing into the human world again. Once it had passed the wolf should be quieter, and there was less risk of him taking over. I just hoped that being able to temporarily reconnect with humanity would go some way to easing my loneliness, and give me a brief sense of being back in my old life, after the miserable existence I’d been stuck in since.
I glared up at that ghostly orb, wishing I could free myself of its hold over me. Lady Sarah was saying something but the words were lost in the chaos of my thoughts. The scent of another vampire brought my attention back to Earth. I’d smelled that scent before. It was Walter.
My eyes darted to Lady Sarah. A dark shadow passed across her face, like she’d suspected this was coming and was disappointed to be proved right. That got my adrenaline going. I wanted to run, but Walter appeared before I had the chance.
He gave Lady Sarah the same respectful greeting as before. His eyes hardened when they turned towards me. “Wolf.”
“Vampire,” I growled, letting my gaze burn amber.
“Ulfarr summons us again?” Lady Sarah said.
“Indeed he does. Come.”
“Very well.” Lady Sarah fell into step beside him, and they broke into a run.
I struggled to keep up in my human form. They were pulling ahead and I was in danger of losing them, when Walter gave an almighty sigh and came to a stop. He glared at me as I sprinted to catch them up, but I didn’t want to waste energy transforming. If he was that desperate to take me to Ulfarr, he’d just have to slow his pace.
Soon the old warehouse was looming in the shadows up ahead. I started thinking to myself that Ulfarr must have somewhere grander for this kind of thing, like a castle hidden away from humanity. Maybe he’d always preferred to live in the wilderness, given the primitive life he’d led as a human, but surely one of the others had somewhere they could use. The vampire who’d stood up for me during my ‘trial’ had told me he had a mansion, so clearly not all of them had been driven from any such places they’d made their home. Maybe they preferred to meet on neutral ground, which made the warehouse as good a place as any I supposed. I would have liked to be summoned to a mansion though, if only to enjoy some warmth while being accused of the killings. Not that Ulfarr would care what I wanted.
My thoughts turned to why we might have been summoned again. Had there been a fourth murder? I kind of hoped so. At least then I would know it wasn’t me after all, since I hadn’t completely blacked out in the weeks after that last full moon. I wasn’t looking forward to seeing Ulfarr again so soon after our last encounter, but if I could find a way to clear my name then I hoped I wouldn’t have to endure any further torment at his hands. The Slayers were a big enough threat without the vampires to worry about as well.
Similar to our last visit to the warehouse, we entered to find we were the first to arrive, other than Ulfarr himself. That didn’t bode well. His attitude towards me and werewolves in general clearly hadn’t improved, as he didn’t deign to acknowledge me yet again, initially addressing only Lady Sarah.
“My Lady,” he said. “I trust you understand the necessity for this?”
“I do, but that does not mean I am happy with it.”
“Happy with what?” I asked. “What’s going on?”
Lady Sarah wouldn’t even look at me then, let alone reply. There was an air of defeat about her which set more adrenaline pumping round my body.
Ulfarr conti
nued as if I hadn’t spoken. “Good. Bring it over here then.”
“Bring what? Don’t just ignore me; what the hell’s going on?”
Ulfarr strode to the other end of the building. The workbench was gone, but the chains were still there, now fixed to the floor and wall. Lady Sarah motioned for us to follow him and curiosity kept me from arguing. Too late, I noticed the bars that had been added to the windows and the reinforced door ready to seal the building they’d turned into a cage. I’d barely had time to make the connection when Ulfarr forced me into a state of paralysis, much as he had the previous month.
He used his telekinetic power again to snap the shackles closed around my hands and feet, with an additional chain around my neck this time. The paralysis lifted a moment later.
I roared and thrashed against my restraints, but I couldn’t quite find the strength to break free. Either the vampires had found some kind of supernatural reinforcement, or Ulfarr had weakened me in some subtle way I hadn’t been aware of. However he’d done it, I wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.
“Be still, beast,” he commanded, and even though I wasn’t aware of his power this time, I began to quieten, panting heavily. “We will hold you here until the full moon passes. Though doubtful, if there should be another murder in this time we will consider you innocent and you may walk free. If, however, there are no further bodies discovered, it may not prove you guilty beyond doubt, but you can be certain we will be watching you much more closely. Understood?”
“Yes,” I growled, feeling the same hate as before stirring within. His eyes might as well have been reflecting my hate back at me. It must have been killing him to hold me in his grasp, and not be able to execute me.
