by Stead, Nick
“If you behave, I will slacken the chains so you can make yourself more comfortable. But give me reason to treat you like no more than the feral dog you are, and your stay here will be most unpleasant.”
I glared at him and turned my gaze on Lady Sarah. She refused to meet it. How could she continue to let them treat me like this? I felt betrayed, and I couldn’t understand why she was suddenly so unwilling to even attempt to put a stop to it.
Ulfarr was at least as good as his word, allowing the chains to slacken so I could move around and sit if I wanted to. Then they left me to my anger.
I resumed struggling against my shackles the moment they left, driven by newfound rage. There was also the vague hope it had been Ulfarr’s power preventing me from breaking free, and that he wouldn’t be able to keep it up while he slept through the daylight hours. But the chains held fast. I gave up and slumped against the wall.
My rage was short lived. I had never felt so utterly alone as I did then. Even if she’d been there, Lady Sarah was no company. Not when she was always so reserved and offered little in the way of comfort or companionship. She couldn’t visit me in the daylight hours of course, but with the greater sense of isolation that came from being locked in my makeshift cage, I was reminded of the fact she still couldn’t really be considered a friend. And with the deep ache resonating from the chasm in my soul, I knew I needed a friend more than ever – someone to share the burden of my lycanthropy and everything the curse had brought upon me, even if they couldn’t fill me with life once more. Or if that was too much to hope for, someone to help pass the time and break up the monotony of the meaningless nights my existence now consisted of would have been nice.
My thoughts turned to the human world and I started to investigate the inside of my cage, looking for any weaknesses that might offer a way out. That also proved pointless. My claws wouldn’t sink deep enough into the brick to pry the brackets I was shackled to loose, and the wall held when I threw myself against it. I was convinced then that there was a supernatural element to my prison, keeping me from breaking free through brute strength. So I turned my attention to searching the floor for anything that might have been left lying around. I didn’t know the first thing about picking locks, but if there was anything I could use to give it a go then I felt I might as well try. If nothing else it would help pass the time.
It was then I noticed the bowl of fresh water they’d placed nearby and a bucket to relieve myself in, which was a slight improvement on the facilities provided when I’d been imprisoned by the Slayers, or lack of. Otherwise the room was empty. There were no rusty nails or other small objects left lying around. The floor was utterly bare, devoid of anything at all useful. I wasn’t entirely surprised – a vampire as old and powerful as Ulfarr was unlikely to be so careless – but I still felt a little disappointed. Until the Elder chose to free me, I really was stuck there, with nothing but my own tormented mind for company. Despair crashed over me in a great drowning wave.
The human world felt even further out of reach as the day wore on, but after a while I heard the sound of approaching footsteps. Daylight still reigned outside so it couldn’t be any vampires coming to check on me, which could mean only one thing – humanity had found me, as if drawn by my longing to reconnect with them. But who could possibly be lurking out there? The warehouse hadn’t been used in years as far as I could tell, and from what I’d seen of the surrounding area, we were pretty isolated. No doubt Ulfarr had picked it as a meeting place because he felt it was a safe enough distance from any active buildings. So what was a human doing out there, and what reason would they have to visit the old site?
A rush of adrenaline flooded my system as the person drew closer. My heart pounded with the realisation that, whoever it was, I was at their mercy whilst chained at the back of the room. And since I could think of no other reason for anyone to be here other than to kill me while I was cornered and unable to escape, it seemed that in all likelihood it was one of the Slayers approaching. Somehow they’d found me again and they’d come to take advantage of my restraints.
The footsteps stopped on the other side of the door, the handle turning. I struggled to hear anything over the beating of my own heart, desperately trying to think of a plan but knowing full well I was doomed. There was nowhere for cover if the human had brought a gun, and the chains didn’t stretch far enough to allow me to reach the door and attack before the Slayer could make their move. There was no way out this time.
The door swung open and a woman entered, carrying a long metal pole with a hook on the end. That puzzled me. It didn’t look like a weapon and while I’d expected them to come prepared to deal with me at arm’s length, surely a gun would have been so much easier.
I tensed as the woman drew close enough to stab at me, but she remained just out of reach. My only hope was to try and grab the weapon and pull her to me.
Time felt to have slowed and as the seconds dragged on I noted how she had an odd vacant expression. Her glazed eyes seemed to slide over me, like she was sleepwalking. Could it be a trick to catch me off-guard?
The attack never came. The pole wasn’t a strange type of weapon after all but merely a tool for the woman to reach the bucket without having to get in range of the dangerous animal they were treating me as. I should have known the vampires would consider such menial tasks beneath them. They must have placed the woman under their spell, which explained the vacant expression and the lack of reaction to a naked, feral-looking boy. But I also wondered if they’d sent a human because they knew it would add to my torment, and sure enough my hunger grew in response to her presence. My control snapped and I lunged for her, only to be pulled short by my chains.
The woman didn’t even flinch. She turned away and walked back towards the door, retrieving a clean bucket from where she’d placed it just outside. She used the pole to position it close enough for me to use, but the length of metal remained as frustratingly out of reach as the woman herself. Moments later she took her leave, and I slumped back to the floor, defeated.
Ulfarr’s hospitality hadn’t extended to any fresh water and I spent the rest of the day thoroughly miserable, plagued by the discomforts of thirst and hunger, and shivering in the cold building. At least it was sheltered from the elements but the air was just as chilly inside as it had been outside. And to top it all, the depression weighed even heavier on my mind as my longing for my old life resumed, try as I might to focus my thoughts elsewhere.
I welcomed the full moon transformation when it came, offering the wolf no resistance as he rose up. The pain was made worse by the chains, the metal around my neck biting into the flesh and cutting off my airways. I thought for a moment it was going to put an end to all my troubles, but then the pressure relieved, the collar adjusting to my thicker neck as if by magic. Similar adjustments happened to the shackles around my limbs. Whether it was through witchcraft or some clever mechanism, I don’t know. But my despair was all the stronger for it.
The blissful darkness of our subconscious beckoned. I embraced it gladly.
The transformation complete, I had become a force of uncontrollable power, a thing of almost uncontainable rage. Except they had found a way to contain me, and I became all the more frenzied for it.
I strained against the chains, furious that the vampires would dare to deprive me of my freedom to answer the moon’s call and the burning hunger once again. My restraints held, so I snapped at them instead. It brought me nothing but toothache, my fangs jarring on the hard metal.
The distant sound of prey carried through the night, and I shot forward again, snarling and snapping at the end of my tethers. Cold steel bit into my throat and I choked and wheezed, yet still I struggled.
Hours went by. The hunger fed the rage and the rage fed the bloodlust, which was in turn tied to the need to hunt and kill, and taste warm flesh. Like a snake eating its own tail the three ruled me, each bleeding into the other and growing ever stronger, once again robbing me of
my sanity and sense of self. I had no hope of controlling it, and if it weren’t for the chains binding me I would have attacked the first being I came across, even if they’d been a vampire. Indeed, part of me still wanted to kill the Elder who’d given me new reason to hate him. He’d demonstrated just how powerful he was during the last full moon, but instead of using that power to keep me placid so as to ensure I couldn’t possibly hurt any more of his kind, he’d chosen to let me suffer.
Sometime before dawn a new vampire appeared, approaching with caution. He stopped a good few feet away and tossed me a severed arm. I snatched it from the air in my jaws, then dropped it between my paws and crunched the meaty bones with ravenous passion. The scrap only served to heighten my frenzied state – probably why Ulfarr had sent it to me – and I continued my useless struggle to break free. Only when the sun rose did weakness and exhaustion begin to set in.
That second day was equally as miserable as the first. In my weakened state, the fury that had ruled my wolfish half all night seemed to instantly burn out, the bloodlust fading away as if it had never been, despite the hunger still being there. The scrap of meat I’d been fed was far from enough to replenish the energy from each transformation, and I felt drained. Continuing to struggle against my restraints was pointless, and in the absence of the rage I had no reason to do so. Even when the woman from the previous day returned with another clean bucket and more water this time, I made no attempt to get at her. I merely sat hugging myself against the cold, pathetic and dejected.
The second night would pass in much the same way as the first, with another severed limb the only offering to appease my hunger and keep me from becoming too weak to struggle. Ulfarr probably wanted me in that frenzied state as further evidence I was no more than a wild beast in need of putting down. My hatred for him grew.
Only after the third lonely day did something happen to break the pattern.
Once more a thing of rage, I struggled to break free of my tethers and unleash my fury on the world. All traces of weakness had vanished, swept away by that molten tide. My limbs burned with renewed strength. Yet it still wasn’t enough to shatter the chains holding me back.
Voices sounded nearby – three of them, all young boys.
“Hey, what was that?” the first one said.
“What was what? What are we even doing out here anyway? We’re in the middle of fucking nowhere,” the second voice answered him.
Was this Ulfarr’s doing? Had he arranged for our paths to cross?
“Like a wild animal snarling or something. Didn’t you hear it?”
The third voice had a nervous quaver to it. “It’s probably just a dog. Maybe we should turn back. My phone doesn’t even have a signal anymore.”
“Don’t be a pussy,” the first voice said. “Imagine if there’s something weird out here and we get pictures. We could sell them to the newspapers! Then we’d never have to worry about school again.”
“I dunno. Can’t we come back when it’s light? It’s spooky being out under the full moon. And it’s fucking freezing.”
“Fuck that. We’re here now, and if there’s something out here I’m going to find it.”
They fell quiet but I could smell them. Hunger had me straining against my chains again, snarling with frustration.
“Wait! There it was again. What is that? Where’s it coming from?”
“I think you’re hearing things, mate,” the nervous one said.
“No, I heard it too. Sounded like it was coming from the old warehouse. Do you think they’ve got something chained in there?”
“Dare you to take a look.”
“I’m not being the one to get fucking bitten!”
“Pussy.”
“Well I don’t see you running over there either.”
The first boy snorted. “Fine, I’ll go and see what it is. I’m not scared. It’s probably just a guard dog anyway.”
I grew still, the snarls dying in my throat. If Ulfarr had arranged this it surely wasn’t out of kindness. But I was too hungry to pass up the chance of a good meal. Would they be stupid enough to come inside?
“Wait, don’t leave me here!” the nervous one said. I heard him running after the other two.
The boys came to a stop on the other side of the door. I waited, ready to pounce. Threads of saliva dripped from my jaws and my muscles tensed. The handle turned and the door creaked open. I almost lost control then, almost tried to bound forward again in another futile attempt to reach them. But somehow I managed to keep quiet, and still.
I breathed in their scents and realised I’d encountered the ringleader before. He was the same insolent schoolboy who’d dared to challenge the human the morning after the last full moon. His swagger had returned as he stepped inside, the beam of his torch sweeping the area in front of the door. It wasn’t strong enough to penetrate the darkness at the far end of the building where I lurked.
He turned to his cronies, who were hanging back, just outside the doorway. “Stop being pussies and come take a look.”
Anxiety poured from them as they followed him in. They kept the torch beam on the floor so they could see where they were walking, oblivious to the danger they were heading towards until it was too late. I waited for them to creep within reach, then I struck, lunging with all my supernatural speed and strength. And finally my jaws closed around the flesh I hungered for.
Blood oozed into my mouth and burst across my tongue in a rush of flavour, rich and intense. It tasted all the better after being starved all full moon, and I bit down with such force that the boy’s leg broke. I pulled him to the ground and he stayed there, screaming in agony as more blood gushed from the ruined limb and began to form a pool around us. It happened in seconds, the other two barely able to register this horrific turn of events before I lunged again, disabling my second victim in a similar fashion.
I don’t remember consciously leaving their leader till last. The colour drained from his face as he took in the damage I’d done to his friends, and his bladder failed him again at the low growl rising in my throat.
He turned to run but I caught him by the ankle and dragged him back beside his mates. Then I truly lost myself in the grip of the bloodlust, savaging the first body to attempt to move until it was unrecognisable as human. Guts spilled around my paws and arterial blood sprayed out over the walls. Severed limbs twitched and convulsed in a mockery of life. So great was my rage that I was more concerned with the need to kill than to eat, and I left more of my victims than usual. If I’d been thinking clearly I would have been sure Ulfarr had indeed toyed with my mind. The bloodlust should have been satisfied when there was no added need for violence from the human feeding my frenzy. I had been much more like my old self that month, before that other part of me had caused us to lose control so completely that it had led to the blackouts of previous months. And that meant once I’d gorged myself I should have grown calmer despite my restraints, instead of remaining frenzied and eager to kill again.
I was so crazed, I didn’t notice I’d left the lead bully alive. The scent of all that blood and death masked any scents of life, and I resumed my struggle to break free while he tried to lie still. He must have realised in my fury I was drawn to movement more than anything. Only when the first light of dawn spilled into the warehouse and I was forced back to human form did I cease my struggles, the pain of the transformation causing me to temporarily forget the chains.
I wasn’t really aware of it at the time but the boy watched me with wide eyes, one of the few humans ever to witness me transform and live to tell the tale. Though for how long was now in the hands of my human half. I retreated into our subconscious, but my rage remained. It blazed across our mind and fed the dark hunger for violence and murder born of the human in me, and despite being forced back to human form my other half was as feral as ever.
A part of me was glad to feel the darker side of my human nature. But the chains the vampires had placed me in still prevented me from sat
isfying it, and that only made me angrier.
Knelt in a pool of gore, I let out a bestial roar of fury, the threat of the Slayers forgotten in my desire to visit the nearest human settlement and commit more massacres. If only I hadn’t been restrained, I could have slaughtered to my heart’s content. Fucking Ulfarr. I would find a way to kill him for this, and I would enjoy it.
Hunger drove me to feed on the leftovers of the wolf’s kills, enjoying the rich organs and tender meat almost as much as my lupine half had. Movement out of the corner of my eye distracted me, and I raised my head to find the one surviving victim.
“You,” I snarled, and lunged at him with bloodied hands.
The boy had evidently decided it was time to make his move while I was busy feeding, but he was too slow. I caught him by the ankle again, pulling him to the ground and back into the grisly pool of his friends’ remains, where I pinned him down on his front.
“Please don’t kill me, I won’t tell anyone, I swear!” he pleaded, sobbing and pathetic.
I took a deep breath, savouring the moment. His fear smelled divine. “Do you know just how many I’ve killed? No? Well I’m not sure I know either. Let’s just say there’s been lots of them, including some I once considered friends, and even my own blood. So tell me, what reason could I possibly have not to kill a bully like you? Someone who reminds me so much of the bastards that made my human life hell – why should I spare you?”
“I don’t want to die, please.”
“But everyone has to die eventually. I still see no reason why I should let you go.”
He didn’t have much to say in response to that. I was growing bored with him and the pleading was doing nothing to help keep the rage burning, so I whispered in his ear “I could make good on my threat from last month now. But I won’t, ’cause I don’t really want to touch your balls, even to rip them off. I will kill you though, and it will be painful, I promise you that.”
