Grace: An Eternal Beloved Novel (Eternal Beloved Novel Series)

by R. Rodriguez

  One chilly fall morning, I saw Lucian again. I was crossing the street nesting a hot cup of mocha flavored coffee when I practically slammed into him. Thankfully my scalding coffee didn’t spill. What did spill over was my joy at seeing him again. Without thinking about it twice, I threw myself on him.

  “Lucian!” I exclaimed.

  “Grace.” The chill in his voice froze my bones and I couldn’t believe he would treat me like this, although I knew that he had every right to be upset with me. I had practically kicked him out of my life and then skipped calling him to apologize.

  My need to do so took over me immediately.

  “Lucian, I have to tell you … something. Are you too busy right now?” I asked nervously.

  Lucian didn’t answer right away. He seemed to be weighing his options.

  “No. I’m not,” he finally said.

  “Can we talk, then?” I dared to offer. “We could go back to the café across the street.

  Lucian searched behind me at the café.

  “I was actually on my way there myself for some breakfast. Sure, Grace. We can talk,” he simply said as he led me across the street.

  Lucian chose a booth in a far away corner of the café. The caramel leather of the seats shone slightly under the dim lights of the lamps as I sat down across from my estranged best friend.

  Lucian ordered a breakfast bagel and an espresso and settled back on the leather cushion of the seat. He didn’t attempt to speak first. It had been my invitation after all, and I was the one that owed him an apology.

  “L. I just wanted to say I’m sorry for what happened last June. I was just going through a really hard time.” I put my apology on the table and awaited his response.

  “Grace…” he started reluctantly. “How is that working out?”

  “Oh…That’s not working out at all. Dario left, just like you said,” I granted.

  Lucian sighed. “I didn’t intend for what I said to be a self fulfilling prophecy. I rather hoped not to be right.”

  “I know you would never wish me wrong, Lucian and I’m sorry. Truly sorry for how I acted,” I said, from the bottom of my heart.

  “I accept your apology, Grace,” he said simply, taking a sip of his steaming cup. “Besides… I have to admit that I’ve missed you.”

  “I’ve missed you, too.” I felt myself blushing at the confession. Lucian had no idea what our estrangement had inspired in my dreams.

  Lucian studied me for a minute and took one of my hands in his.

  “It was all … just too much to handle. It’s like we’re linked. My blood even runs through you, but I can’t get at you.” He kissed my hand lightly and I my heart leaped in my chest.

  “Let’s just start anew. Like it never happened.” he offered.

  Recuperating Lucian’s friendship was sure to bring blessings my way. It was always that way when I kept Lucian’s company.

  “So, what have you been up to? How did you spend your summer?” I asked.

  “Well, you know. I’ve been working up a storm. My work practically fills up my days.”

  Nothing new there.

  “You work entirely too much, Lucian. You need some time off… to enjoy the simpler things in life.” I felt an urge to loosen his tie.

  “You’re right, Grace.” He took another sip. “I have actually been doing just that. Going out with some acquaintances. Well, co-workers from the firm. And that reminds me… that I’m having a get together tomorrow night. You’re welcome to come…”

  A get together. A perfectly normal activity that happens every weekend amongst friends, but it seemed odd to me coming from Lucian. I had never met anyone in Lucian’s life. I just always saw him as my Lucian with no other strings attached. Surely, I needn’t be so foolish with my sudden petty possessiveness. Of course Lucian deserved to have a life outside of consoling me and putting my life in order. I could certainly share him with others.

  “Your friends are welcome to come,” he added, finishing off his bagel and coffee.

  “Of course, I’ll be there.” I quickly jumped at the chance to retake my friendship with Lucian.

  “Okay, Grace. Well…” Lucian left a ten dollar bill on the table and stood up. “I have to get to work.”

  I followed him outside.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow.” I waved half heartedly. I wanted to spend more time with him now that I had found him again.

  “Come here, sweetheart.” Lucian wasn’t letting me go so easily. He passed his arm over my shoulders and turned me into him to receive a full Lucian hug. Like the one in my dream. I knew in his arms that everything would be okay. That my life was as it should be.

  “I really missed you,” he declared as he tightened his hold on me.

  “And I missed you. You’ll never know,” I said meaningfully. He’d never imagine the vivid dream I’d had about him. A dream that had forced me to look at Lucian in a different light. Who knew… if dreams could come true?

  My dad always told me, “Out of sight, out of mind.” And Dario had been out of my sight for quite some time. I wasn’t healed completely, but on my way there. And who better to finish the process with, than Lucian?

  Life was even providing me with a chance to get to know his world a little better. I mean I spent a lot of time with him, but never with other people, I now realized. How refreshing it would be for me to meet some of the people in his real life.

  I spent the next day primping myself for Lucian’s get together. I went shopping for a new outfit. New black pants with an off the shoulder purple cashmere top and stiletto heels. I’d wear my hair down like he liked it. Not straight and as I usually used it. I’d curl it at the ends just enough to create a wavy effect on it. I gave myself a facial, a pedicure and manicure and plucked my eyebrows.

  By nine o’ clock I was dressed and ready to go.

  “Jeez!” Laura exclaimed. “I feel like Plain Jane next to you, girl. You sure put the works on tonight. You’re excited to see Lucian again, I gather.”

  “Sure,” I said lightly. “I haven’t spent time with him in a while. He usually sees me with a bunch of snot running down my nose from all the crying. I thought I’d show him how good I’m feeling these days.”

  I didn’t mention the fact that my heart harbored some newly found hope in regards to him. That a dream had awoken inexplicable feelings for him. That I was seeing him in a new light. Why shouldn’t I harbor these thoughts for him? Lucian wasn’t in a relationship. He was only a couple of years older than me. He was already established. Lucian was a beautiful man inside and out. Lucian loved me as it should be. Not with all the glaring passion I had experienced with Dario, but as a friend who knew and accepted me for who I was.

  And as he opened the door and whistled at me, twirling me around, then planting a kiss on my cheek, I felt a tinge of the passion I had felt for Dario. My resolve to open my life to him in a different way strengthened.

  Laura admired the lush carpets and expensive furniture in Lucian’s ultra modern apartment and pulled me aside.

  “You’ve been holding out, girl. You didn’t tell me Lucian was rich.”

  “I did tell you he was Lucian Lake. You know from Lake Engineering,” I reminded her.

  “Like the owner?” she asked. I nodded.

  It was a given to her now that Lucian had money. Lake Engineering had only reconstructed half of Chicago.

  “Sure, he has money. But, remember…he’s a self made man. Lots of work. Didn’t come easy,” I vouched for him.

  “So… He could be your sugar daddy!” she squealed excitedly.

  “Laura, pleaaaase!” I smacked her in the back of the head.

  “What? What did I say?” Laura pretended to be oblivious to the implications of her suggestion.

  It was a good thing that Lucian approached us with two glasses of champagne because Laura was sure to continue her sugar daddy campaign. The worst part was that her idea was actually not so appalling to me. Well, not the sugar daddy part
. Lucian was too young to be anybody’s sugar daddy, but being something else to Lucian.

  I started to question my newfound perception of Lucian as he went around introducing us to his guests. I didn’t know if what I was feeling was a result of two months of loneliness or a remnant of that summer dream, but there was something there for sure. Every time I felt his hand on the small of my back I felt a slight shiver creep up my spine.

  The shiver came to an abrupt halt when Lucian introduced us to her.

  “This is Brenda Connor, Grace.” His smile for her was different than for the others. “She’s an architect at my firm.” Lucian almost broke his face from the broad smile when he introduced her and his hand transferred from the small of my back to the small of hers. The introduction wasn’t quick and hurried like the others. He lingered around her.

  “Very nice to meet you, Grace.” The tall lithe brunette who was the total opposite of me and such a woman already. “Lucian has told me so much about you.”

  “Oh, he has,” I said, questioning him with my eyes. “It’s very nice to meet you, too.”

  I quickly turned to look for Laura. Unfortunately, she was enthralled in conversation with one of Lucian’s interns so I was left a brooding witness to Lucian’s attention to his accomplished architect. My stomach started to churn as I sensed their familiarity with each other. An unexplainable jealousy gripped my heart.

  Of course Lucian would keep the company of such an accomplished woman. I paled in comparison to her. I had no idea where she had materialized from, but there she was. As I watched her interact with Lucian, I felt smaller and smaller by the minute. She wasn’t moping around teary eyed waiting for Lucian to comfort her. She looked confident and carefree.

  Her piercing eyes bore into Lucian. I saw her flip her hair and flash her perfect whites at my Lucian. And every so often I saw her touch him lightly on the arm. All signs that she was flirting with him.

  “She’s got dibs on your sugar daddy.” Laura suddenly reappeared to whisper in my ear.

  “He’s not my sugar daddy!” I muttered under my breath as Laura swirled away to regain her conversation with the nameless intern. Besides the leather bound journal he had given me years ago and the occasional gift on special dates, Lucian hadn’t showered me with expensive gifts and I certainly hadn’t given him anything else in return for his attentions.

  I felt my heart constrict as I watched Lucian’s and Brenda’s rendition of Gwen Stefani’s “Don’t Speak”. There was obviously some spark between them. And I was just a little girl full of indecision and trouble. A joke of a woman who should’ve been well on her way to being somebody, but made so many wrong pit stops first.

  And to make things worse. Lucian had apparently talked to that so called Brenda about me. How much did she know about me, exactly? I swallowed a mouthful of punch and turned my attention to the rest of the guests. As the night progressed and Lucian didn’t leave Brenda’s side, I resigned myself to the fact that Lucian had every right to have a life of his own with his brunette. How selfish was I? He deserved great things, and such he was getting. So why did I continue to feel a perfect knot in my stomach? I decided I couldn’t take any more of Brenda ogling my Lucian and I went outside to the open balcony. The night was chilly enough that nobody was out there. So I got to enjoy the twinkling waterfront all on my own. At least it kept my mind off Lucian and his date.

  “Hey, love.” Lucian snuck up behind me a few short minutes later.

  “Having fun?” He turned me around and looked concerned at what he saw.

  “Not having fun?” he questioned me again with a look of worry in his eyes.

  He had freed himself from Brenda’s mesmerizing dark eyes and was back to worrying if I was okay. This was more like my Lucian. So, why didn’t it feel right? Why did I feel like arguing with him?

  I gulped down the contents of the glass I was holding before answering.

  “Yes. I’m fine. Why would you think I’m not having fun?” I retorted, refusing to look him in the eye.

  “Oh, nothing. Nothing made me think that. I was just curious. I forgot to check up on you. That’s all.” He said moving to the rhythm of the song that was playing.

  “Check up on me, how?” I sniggered defensively.

  “You know, to see if you needed anything. If you’re feeling comfortable.”

  “I’m not a little girl, Lucian.”

  “That’s not what I meant Grace,” he said seriously. “It’s called being a good host.”

  “Well, I’m fine, thanks.” I challenged. “You don’t have to worry about little girl lost.”

  “The last thing I would mistake you for is a little girl, Grace,” he said, appraising my face.

  “Never mind you being lost.”

  I didn’t know where it came from and how I dared to challenge him, but I did. I guess it was encountering Brenda’s dark eyes through the glass doors that were obviously searching for Lucian that made me so feisty.

  “Oh, yeah?” I met his stare boldly. “Prove it.”

  Lucian shook his head, puzzled. But I stood my post. I lowered my eyes from his eyes to his lips and then looked up at him again suggestively. Lucian’s gaze smoldered me into place as it moved from my eyes to my own lips that I knew were parted awaiting his kiss. I didn’t kiss him, but I moved ever so slightly closer to him. I felt his warmth through the chill of the windy night and wanted to be sheltered by it so badly. Lucian breathed heavier. A tortured look took over his face and he closed his eyes for a second.

  I almost felt his kiss, like in my dream. I felt his breath starting to mingle with mine. We were that close. But Lucian didn’t kiss me.

  “Whoa, Grace. I gotta get back to my guests. Wh...zztsk.” He questioned my advance with squinting eyes and headed back in the door. “You’re driving me crazy.”

  No… He was wrong. He was the one driving me crazy. I followed him inside the apartment where he of course went to search for Miss Long Legs Brunette. I bit my bottom lip. Now I really felt like a little girl about to have a temper tantrum. But instead of walking out of his get together like I felt like doing, I decided to stand my ground. I didn’t care how many times I had taken Lucian for granted and how involved I was in my unhealthy relationship with Dario. This was my Lucian and I wasn’t going down without a fight.

  I downed another glass of champagne to gather courage and stepped into the room. I went straight to the next best available guy in the room. Another engineer in Lucian’s firm, I found out. Phil something.

  “Well, Phil… You wanna rock this place?” I invited him to take over the karaoke.

  It didn’t take much to lure Phil into following me where I wanted. He agreed readily.

  I heard the first accords of the music and prepped myself up for a show. I wasn’t at Columbia’s Music Center for nothing. And the cello wasn’t my only musical talent. I could certainly let my hair down and sing a decent tune. I grabbed the mic and offered my most sensual rendition of “Wild Thing” and it was all directed at Phil.

  Phil seemed taken aback by my musical aggression, but Lucian… Lucian was truly annoyed. He held my glare above Brenda’s shoulder. The get together continued its course. Laura left with the intern to explore the clubs on the waterfront. I should’ve left, but I didn’t. I kept chatting Phil up for the duration. Lucian kept eyeing me over Brenda’s shoulder for the rest of the night never coming to check on me again, but approaching me at the end of the night.

  “Grace, I’m gonna need some help tidying up around here. Can you stay and help me?”

  Oh, so I wasn’t good enough to kiss, but now I was good enough to clean up the mess.

  “No, I don’t think I can, Lucian. It’s kind of late. I really must get back home. Besides… a good host doesn’t ask his guests to clean up,” I said, playing innocently with the ends of my hair for added dramatic effect.

  He approached me and stood dangerously close to me.

  “I don’t really want you to clean up, Grace.
I need to talk to you. In private,” he emphasized as he waved the last guest goodbye.

  I really felt like making Lucian suffer some more, but I decided against it. I mean, in the end, the rift that had resulted between us during the night was only working to pull us together again. There was so much unspoken tension that I felt it in my bones.

  Lucian locked the door shut and turned to face me.

  “What’s going on, Grace?” he questioned me.

  “What do you mean?” I played stupid, suddenly afraid of creating waves in a steady ocean.

  “What are you trying to do?” He squared himself in front of me.

  I snuck a peek at him to assess just how angry he was at me, but I was surprised to see a perplexed look in his eyes. I lowered my gaze again, unsure of how to answer him. I was afraid to speak the words. I was afraid of his rejection.

  “Grace, by God. Speak to me.” He urged me to fess up.

  “I’m not trying to do anything, Lucian. Just having fun.” I garbled the words, sounding phony.

  “Fun at my expense.” He concluded bitterly.

  “No. Why would you think that?” I asked.

  “Grace.” He stepped a little bit closer to me as if he already knew. “What do you want?”

  I couldn’t resist the tension anymore. We were alone. Completely alone. And there he was, standing right in front of me in his devilishly stylish black Armani T- shirt and jeans. Looking perfect. Looking… I knew the words that were unexpectedly rising from my brain, but I was afraid to actually give them any credence.

  I saw the unknown tattoo I had spotted earlier peeking out from under his T- shirt sleeve and realized that Lucian was like opening up an unforeseen present. It excited you, filled you with curious anticipation, and totally thrilled you once it was revealed.

  I dared to broach the distance between us and looked up at him achingly hoping that he would decipher these knew unprecedented feelings for him on his own without me saying the words.

  “I don’t know what I want.” My declaration hung in the air for an interminable length of time.

  And then Lucian grabbed me by the waist and our bodies melted together. He looked deep into my eyes before his face bent down to claim my parted lips. There was a bit of urgency in his kiss and I welcomed it. The pent-up tension of the night was being channeled through this kiss. I lost myself in Lucian’s engulfing hold. A whirlwind surrounded my mind and all that kept me grounded were my senses.