“You can,” he said, kissing her hard and fast before pulling away again. “Only you.”
It became almost frantic after he spoke. They moved and shifted around the side of the car while peeling off more clothing. Ayumi's skirt and shoes wound up in a pile by the back tire right before she knelt on the backseat. Liam's undershirt landed on the trunk, and he stepped out of his pants as he climbed into the car right beside her.
It was a big car, but Liam was a big guy. All arms and legs; a minivan would've been too cramped for him. Ayumi fell onto her back at first, helping him to pull away her hosiery and underwear. Then she quickly sat up and pressed him into the seat.
“You are done wearing these,” he informed her, holding up the ball of black nylon before chucking it into the darkness. She shook her head and moved to straddled his lap.
“But I always wear them because ...” she started, but her voice trailed off at the same time his fingers started traveling up the length of her scar.
“I said done,” he repeated himself. As his fingers reached the apex of her legs, she managed to nod.
“No more tights,” she managed to squeak out as his index finger sawed back and forth.
“I don't want you to ever hide any part of yourself from me, understood?”
The finger went from sawing to plunging and she groaned, hooking her fingernails into the tops of his shoulders. She'd never seen Liam like that before, so commanding. So forceful. Normally, he fell somewhere between silly and sweet, even when it came to having sex. Now, she felt like she was meeting a whole other side of him. The deviant owner-slash-regular-user of a sex club was making an appearance.
Very pleased to make your acquaintance, Mr. Edenhoff.
“I understand,” she managed to say as a second finger joined the first. His other hand squeezed her hip, encouraging her to move and ride against his hand.
“You're so goddamn beautiful,” he said through clenched teeth. “And you have no fucking clue.”
“No,” she agreed, dropping her forehead to his. “But I have you to tell me.”
“Yes.”
The hand on her hip moved, quickly sliding up her back and into her hair. She gasped, then whined, as he roughly pulled her ponytail out of its holder. Her thick, black hair fell down, becoming a curtain between them and the great outdoors.
“I'm about to turn you into a very bad girl, Ms. Nakada,” he whispered, his hand moving away from her body and down to his own.
“I think you already have, Mr. Edenhoff,” she whispered back, her hand joining his at the base of his dick.
They both held onto him as she lowered herself her his shaft. Every time it was like the first time. She just couldn't keep his sheer force and power and energy in her memory. She gulped on air as she tried to take his entire length, and then when she finally did, she could only sit still. He was so large and so hard, she couldn't even breathe. Couldn't even think.
“I think you don't know what you've gotten yourself into,” he murmured as he dragged her hand up his body. Once he got to his mouth, he nipped at her fingertips.
“You ... you're right,” she panted, her whole body starting to shake. “I have no fucking clue.”
He held onto her waist with both his hands and held her still while he pumped his hips up against her. She shrieked with each thrust, with each time he bottomed out inside her. She fell back from him, leaning against the seat in front of them, using it as leverage. She started jerking her hips in time to his thrusts, matching him step for step.
“So fucking beautiful,” he sighed, finally slowing down and running his hand up the center of her body. “But still oh so tense.”
“Because you're too much for me,” she struggled to breathe.
What little air she had was then forced out of her lungs when he gripped her by the waist and swung her around. There was some grunting and struggling, but he eventually got them turned completely around, then she shoved her up and out of the seat. He laid her out flat over the trunk, scraping his teeth roughly over her clavicle.
“I seriously doubt any man is enough for you,” he chuckled, finally pulling her bra away from her body and tossing it into the backseat.
“I find that laughable coming from someone like you.”
She groaned when his hands came down on her breasts, squeezing them hard and pushing them together. Then he leaned down and clamped his teeth around a nipple for a second, causing her to cry out.
“Careful, or I'll teach that sassy mouth of yours a lesson,” he warned her.
He didn't give her a chance to earn her lesson, though. Just started pounding into her. She cried out into the darkness, let her passion bounce of the trees and the rocks and the leaves. His whole body came down on top of her, pinning her to the cool metal of the car.
“Liam, please,” she was whimpering. Actually whimpering. “Please, I'm so close.”
“You sound the absolute fucking best when you beg,” he groaned, increasing the pressure of his hips as he slammed against her.
“No one has ever made me beg before,” she confessed, rotating her hips against him. “Only you. Only you make me feel this way.”
“Fuck,” he swore, every muscle in his body starting to tense up. “That's even hotter than begging.”
“What?” she managed to ask as her mind started unraveling.
“You losing control. Knowing I make you lose control,” he breathed, and she moaned as he placed a long, slow lick up the side of her neck. She turned her head to the meet him as he reached her face. Wanted to tell him he was the only man she'd ever wanted to give all control to, the only person who had ever made her lose control.
But before she could speak, he was kissing her. He startled her with his intensity, which was really saying something. His tongue filled her mouth, swirling and thrust. His lips moved against hers, pressing and massaging. And then when he bit down on her bottom lip hard enough to make her shriek, he broke what little control she had left.
“Oh my god!”
Fuck Santa Barbara – she was pretty sure people in L.A. were now aware that she was coming. She coiled around him and curled into him, pressing her face against his chest while she sobbed and shook. He let out a growl when she dragged her nails down the sides of his arms, then he was coming, too. So hard and for so long, he left her with no doubts whatsoever that this really and truly was a moment made only for them.
After what felt like forever and multiple shock waves later, he laid down gently on top of her. She was struggling to breathe, and she could feel his own pants against the side of her face. Once again, even with her eyes closed, she just knew he was smiling at her, so she tilted her head to the side and smiled back.
“Ah, see?” he sighed. “There she is.”
“Still me,” she replied. Then his hand was against the side of her face and she opened her eyes.
“No. That chick got thrown out of the car with that stupid tie and those stupid tights. This is the girl with the scar, and she's so goddamn beautiful, she stops my heart,” he whispered. Ayumi smiled at him, then reached out and smoothed her hand through his hair.
“Maybe,” she agreed. “But she's still not half as beautiful as you.”
11
“So what does this mean?”
Ayumi was staring at the ceiling in their shitty motel room. The windows next to the bed had the drapes pulled back, letting moonlight spill into the room. It highlighted how pale she was, contrasting sharply next to his tan skin.
They were on the ground floor, but the room was at the end of the building. Besides, they hadn't even thought about it when they'd gotten back to the room. Liam had kicked the door shut behind them and she had peeled his undershirt back off and being together became much more important than caring about a silly thing like someone looking in and seeing them.
People wish they could witness something this amazing.
She was laying on her back and Liam was on top of her, laying low down with his head against her stomach.
He was between her spread legs and she had her knees splayed out to the sides. One of his hands was pressed against her side, high up under arm. The other arm was coiled around her leg, his fingers lightly stroking her scar.
“It means I need at least half an hour before we can go again,” he replied, and she laughed, playfully shoving his head away from her.
“No, you don't.”
“You're confidence in me is inspiring. Fifteen minutes, then.”
“No,” she laughed louder. “I meant ... I guess ... what are we?”
There was a long silence and for a moment, she was nervous. Ayumi had never been so open before, so raw, with a man. She still couldn't believe the things she'd said to him. Things she hadn't even been willing to whisper in her own mind, and she'd yelled them at him. More amazing, though, were the things he'd said back.
Amazing, but scary.
“We're what we were before,” he said in a careful voice.
“What, some deal?”
“I don't think we were ever a deal,” he told her, and she didn't argue. “We were something that we didn't even know was meant to happen.”
“Maybe,” she whispered.
“We've got, what, twelve days left? Let's just be us. Really us, not those people we show to everyone else. Let's go to the beach and go drink wine and fuck and make love and be out of control and have the best time ever,” he suggested. “And when our trip is over ... we'll just see what we are then.”
Ayumi took a deep, shuddering breath. The real her? Did she even know that girl anymore? Who was she without her job title and her routine and her iron clad control over her life?
“I think ...” she started to talk, then had to blink away tears. “I think I'd really like that.”
“Me, too.”
There was another long pause, then she cleared her throat.
“Can I tell you a secret, Liam?” she said softly. He went still for a moment, then squeezed her thigh.
“Always.”
“I don't even like wine.”
“I knew it,” he burst out laughing. She yelped when he bit her right over her hip bone. “I fucking knew it.”
“You always do.”
THE SPENT THE NEXT morning in bed. Telling more secrets, memorizing each others bodies. Then they went to the beach and she drooled over him while he surfed some more. Let him pull her into the water so she could get another swimming lesson. Didn't stop him when he pulled her against him, forcing his tongue in her mouth and his hand down her bikini bottoms.
And she didn't even bother to wear her bathing suit cover once.
Dinner was had down by the ocean, laughing about stories from college. Liam had only gone for one semester to U.C. of Santa Cruz – he said living in a coed dorm had been the best part, but even that didn't make going to classes worth it.
Ayumi, however, had gone to Stanford for four years, graduating with some fancy sounding degree in business management. She'd applied to go to Stanford's Graduate School of Business, and had been accepted, but then during a summer internship, she'd met Wulfric. He wasn't really that much older than her, but he was light years ahead of her in the business world. He'd gone to Princeton, and just had a natural knack for real estate. It turned out he also had a knack for working with her. When her internship ended, he'd convinced her to stay on, made her a promise that if she stuck with him for one year and helped him build his empire, then he would pay her better than anything she could get anywhere else, even with a masters from Stanford.
“You guys have an interesting relationship, don't you?” Liam asked, after they'd left the restaurant and started walking along the beach. She shrugged as she pulled off her sandals.
“I don't know. I never thought so, but maybe?” she replied. “We just kind of ... get each other. We both came from kind of screwed up homes, had parents who were kind of shitty. We were both brainiacs, both workaholics. We clicked.”
“Clicked, huh,” Liam grunted. “Don't slap me for my next question.”
“Why?”
“How many times have you guys slept together?”
Ayumi stopped walking and made a face.
“Me and Wulf?” she exclaimed. “Ew, never.”
“You don't have to lie to me, I really don't care,” he assured her, tugging her to a start again. “I mean, he and I fucked the same girl for like a month. Clearly stuff like that doesn't bother me.”
“Um, clearly stuff like that does bother you, or you wouldn't have made an ass out of yourself at the end of that month,” she pointed out. He playfully pulled on a lock of her hair.
“There's that sassiness I love. Now c'mon, tell me how many times you guys have boned.”
“I'm serious, Liam. Wulf and I have never slept together. Would never,” she insisted.
“Really? You've never slept with your attractive boss who was part owner of a sex club? A man who's probably slept with more women than I have? A man you say you 'clicked' with? I don't believe it,” he said.
“I don't care what you believe, I haven't. People can be attractive, doesn't mean I have to screw them,” she pointed out. “Yeah, I know he's good looking, and yeah, I know he's had a lot of casual sex – though seriously, no one has slept with as many people as you have – but it was just never, ever like that between us. We took care of each other, he's more like a big brother to me.”
“Jesus, then I feel bad for you. I've seen how he treats his sisters.”
“I know,” she sighed. “He always treated me so good, but always pushed his family away. Hmmm, sounds like someone else I might know.”
“Shut up, I don't push my family away. I just don't like being around their shrine to Landon,” he explained.
“I saw the shrine. You know what else I saw?”
“I'm afraid to ask.”
“Twice as many pictures of you in that living room,” she told him. He frowned down at his feet for a moment.
“Not twice as many.”
“Possibly even more than that. Liam, I get that your family maybe is in a little awe of Landon, and that can kind of hurt. But just because they're impressed with his titles and his accomplishments, doesn't mean they love you any less. In fact, based on what I saw, they like you a great deal more than your brother. My mom told me all the time she loved me. She said that's why she had to be hard on me, because she loved me. But I don't think she's ever liked me. Your family adores you, Liam. If not having your own shrine bothers you so much, say something to them,” she insisted. He continued frowning for another minute, not looking at her for a while. Then he took a deep breath and lifted his head.
“I wanna hear about your mom,” he said. Now it was her turn to frown.
“What? Why?”
“Because I want to understand you better.”
“Why?”
“Because I like you, you idiot,” he laughed. “And I want to understand why someone as amazing as you doesn't like herself.”
Despite the insult, his words made her feel warm. She was finally letting them sink in, was actually believing them and trusting him. Scary stuff. She took a deep breath and looked out over the dark ocean.
“My mother ...” her voice trailed off for a moment. “She means well. It's just how she was raised. She was raised to be perfection. Perfect grades, perfect looks, and when she was twenty, she was married to the perfect man. A few years later, though, they got divorced. It was really hard on her because her parents really disapproved. Her husband was awful, he drank a lot and got fired from his job, treated her bad, but her parents acted like it was all her fault. Like she'd done something to deserve all that.
“Then she met and married my dad, which her parents really didn't like. They stopped speaking to her after that – I don't think she's ever gotten over it. Sometimes, I think she almost hold me responsible. I don't know why, they didn't adopt me till like two years later, but somehow it's my fault. I am the ruiner of things, in her mind. Can't do anything right, mess everything up.”
>
“See,” Liam was shaking his head. “I don't understand how that's even possible. I am an actual fuck up, and even I'll admit that my family still loves me. You went to fucking Stanford, graduated magna cum laude. What isn't there to be impressed with?”
“Because I should've graduated summa cum laude. I should've been valedictorian. I shouldn't have missed those two weeks when I got an pneumonia. I should've married Wulf,” Ayumi prattled off. “Nothing is ever good enough for her, ever. She was never good enough for her parents, so now no one is ever good enough for her, I guess. When I was in sixth grade, I can remember running home because I came in second in the science fair. I was only the girl in the entire district to even make it to the finals. She was having tea with her book group when I came in and I told them all about it. Afterwards, she took me into the kitchen, then slapped me across the face. Said second place was still losing, and that I had embarrassed her in front of her friends.”
“Jesus christ.”
“I know. I learned pretty quickly that if I wasn't number one, if I wasn't the best, then I shouldn't say anything at all. She also signed me up for everything. Tried to make a child model, sent me to movie auditions. Put me in girl scouts, then later in junior achievers. Chess club, math club, band, all of it. And if I didn't like it or wasn't good at it, she just made me try harder. That's one good thing I got out of life with my mother – even if I don't like something, even if I hate it, I will keep at it until I get it right. Until I'm the best at it,” she told him, pounding her fist into her hand while she spoke.
“I'm not so sure that's a good quality to have all the time, Ice Queen,” he said in a soft voice, and she looked up to find him staring down at her. “Sometimes you have to know when to let something go. When to say ... this just isn't me.”
Ayumi stopped moving, and so did he. They just stared at each other for a long moment. They were both barefoot, her wedge sandals were dangling from her wrists, and she knew his Chuck's were shoved into his back pockets. She'd never thought of herself as particularly short, but he was so much taller than her. So much larger than life.
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